social media is a lonely thing.
I have roughly 100 friends on facebook, after curating my friends’ list several times, and less people than I can count on my hands actually talk to me: my best friend, my sister, my brother-in-law, very rarely an internet friend or two who I haven’t talked to in literally years. I have virtually no followers on tumblr anymore - it says i’ve got 50-some on my main, but if you actually go to the list it shows less than half of that, for some reason?
and same for twitter. I don’t know how to talk to people anymore. whenever I just throw something out into the void it just reminds me of being in college and trying to engage someone in conversation and just. trailing off because I realize they don’t even notice i’m talking, or don’t care.
and then I see other people who feel they’re lonely but are constantly engaged with at least a decent chunk of friends, who get responses all the time. it feels weird.
people don’t like me. idk if it’s because i’m socially awkward or just repugnant, I don’t think i’m necessarily *disliked*, but. people don’t like me. it makes me feel a little sad but mostly just tired. idek if I really like people enough to care.