Hmmm... Dear dad. For Alec
It’s been what has felt like ages since I’ve stepped into your studio... decades since I last had such aching laughs alongside you behind the microphone.
The only thing that pains me now is my heart.
There are many things that are incurable in this world, and homesickness is one of them. Even if writing these letters to you makes me feel less ill, there’s no complete cure for this as escape is something I doubt will occur. Are these letters even being sent I wonder? I do not wish to rush you for a reply as you are perhaps extremely busy with the studio in my absence... my apologies.
The little day-to-day broadcast I’ve been allowed to do here helps, yet... I’ve found myself breaking down while on air much more frequently than before. The deafening silence I get when I attempt to speak to someone who isn’t next to me makes me feel seriously sick.
It’s... a bit pathetic, isn’t it? Someone my age being able to break so easily. You always told me my heart was like a crystal, and that I shouldn’t allow people to snatch it away- breaking it into countless shards. Yet... it appears it’s always been myself that’s been allowing it to slip between my fingers.
In all fairness, however... I seem to have lost my trust within others with my heart. Perhaps that’s for the best that the only danger to my own fragility is myself...
Well... myself and... her.
The good news is, though, I have managed to make some friends here which is odd to say the least. I’ve never been that social around these folk, too intimidated of some and with good reason. Yet, it feels oddly nice. These folk here- they don’t see me as “Alex”. At least, I hope not. To them, I’m just Alec. Sure, I still have my odd swings on the air and every now and then he pops up. Yet, never once have I been reduced to my false image.
Well... there was another me, so to speak who... seemed to be having just that issue. I’m not sure how to explain it and I don’t think you’d even believe me.
And that’s perhaps one of the tamest occurrences here.
I miss you so much... if and when I get out of here, there’s too much to speak about. Too many horrors... yet, is it odd to say that a part of me is going to miss everyone here..?
I don’t know. Maybe in time this place will become a new home. I just wish you were here...
