[ If you have the time for this, that is ] If I could ask, what do you find the pros and cons as me, as a writer? Any recommendations of improvements to writing, or something else?
@igimatre
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I just had to use smug Hikari I’m sorry
Pros:
1). I have alreadytold you this, but I very much do enjoy that you write things in great detail and that you don’t shyaway from making things long. Itfits well with my own writing – and Iknow you admitted to having been influenced by me but still – it just… iswonderful to see and makes writing with you feel rewarding and fun.
2). Youknow how to paint a picture or a setting, and I really do appreciate that. Manytimes threads just turn into… two floating heads talking, and that is the worstthing that could ever happen. But with you? Nah, you write things as theyshould be written – aka, you write things like the characters live andexperience a 3d environment. Seriously, it makes writing with you so much morefun than with anyone else, because you don’t mind bringing up other charactersin your replies – or even just random background characters that have nomeaning other than to set the scene. –And because I want to keep things to three on each, I’ll add in here that youalso paint the picture of what your characters are thinking and feeling very well and, just like me,don’t shy away from going off into a long rant about just… memories or thoughtsand feelings that cross your characters minds.
To me itfeels just very real, when it’s written like that. But perhaps I’m biased-
3). Thankfuck you’re not a wuss. Seriously, thank the lord that you won’t shy away from what may be taboo or wrong orgross- Thank fuck for that.
Cons:
1). What I havenoticed more recently, something you didn’t really do before (or at least in aless noticeable manner) is that you… tend to repeat things. Okay so, what I mean by that is: Let’s say I write that Hikari, as the example,takes a seat and crosses her legs in my reply? Within your reply, you writesomething along the lines of ‘she took a seat and crossed her legs’. Repeating informationthat is already out there, that really doesn’t need repeating. We know whathappened, that’s why I wrote it in my reply.
Just as anexample from the thread with Cyrus and Barnaby:
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My previous reply: “… Abuilding as white as the snow around them, yet with the suffered stains of agecladding its exterior.-
… Still, hewould give an indication of their arrival with a raising of his gloved hand.Taking a step to the front door, he would dig into his pockets to get his keys.”
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Yours: “The pace of walking would slow when hisclient would divert to the right turn; makingIt fairly clear that his domain was this white building. Of course, the notablegesture of a hand raised would be another indicator of it.”
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It’s notwrong to do this at certain times, but I think it stood out to me because ithappened back to back between our thread (the one mentioned specifically). A suggestion to fix this would be tosimply word it differently. Example:
“The paceof walking would slow when his client would divert to the right turn. Barnaby’s eyes followed the length ofDamian’s arm – landing on the building in question. His home, admittedly, didn’tstand out from the rest.”
2). Numberone is the biggest thing tbh, I don’t really have… a lot of other things to sayother than just small things that really are hard to help. And trust that Itoo, given that I have English as my second language, struggle with thesethings too :v –Small grammatical errors that make the text feel… off. To again use the Cyrusthread as an example:
“The lacking of light would not come to hismind, relying on the brightness given by the snow.”–Should be something like: “The lack of light…”
“Overlyprofessional than desired.”–“Overly professional than would bedesired.”
Just smallthings like that?
3). Idk you’rea big nerd and I love you.
