Average conversation with a Hufflepuff having problems with someone (as a Slytherin):
Hufflepuff: This person is treating me badly what do I do?
me: Cruciatus Curse.
Hufflepuff: What? No!
me: Poison their cauldron cakes and give them to them with a sweet smile and an "I hope we can get past this."
Hufflepuff: Maybe... Still a bit much though?...
me: Manipulate them into dog-earing a book in front of a Ravenclaw. They know many absolutely-should-be-banned-but-are-so-forgotten-they-aren't curses and that is a sure fire way to get them to actually use one. Or three.
Hufflepuff: Absolutely not! I can't have getting rid of a body on my conscience.
me: Very well. Talk to me, tell me everything from start to finish, with lots of description on how you fee- the fuck do you want?
Gryffindor: This person is treating me badly as well what do I do?
me: Jump off a cliff.
Hufflepuff: Slytherin!
me: wot. It solves the problem, does it not?









