As many of my beloved mutuals know, I've felt exhausted and ill and just overall very bad for eons now... and it's starting to look like a considerable chunk of that has had to do with a chronic illness I've probably inherited from one of my grandparents brewing in my body for who knows how many months/years.
Exact diagnosis & long-term treatment are still pending, but lately, I've been taking some pretty strong meds to momentarily alleviate some of the symptoms while waiting for my next doctor's appointment. And wouldn't you know, they've actually been working somewhat! I've had several almost normal-feeling days in a row and everything.
So of course, I've channeled about 85% of that unanticipated energy into hyperfixating on Sad Italian Movie, and sorting through the multitude of thoughts and emotions said hyperfixation has unearthed within me.
I feel like that dude in that crab tiktok, you know, the "every time I go to the beach, some fucking mollusk or dead thing pulls up" guy... except for in my case, going to the beach is getting to experience the illusion of health for a couple of weeks, and the fucking mollusk is being back on my bullshit.
