29th June 2018. I received a news form my SV. its supposed to be a self-intro process where i introduce myself to her. But it turned the other way around. She told me there’s something about me that arise in the department meeting. That news stop my heart a bit. ....................................... This place is my chilhood dream. I envy my seniors at that time for them to enter this place to pursue their studies. Where else my sister & me can’t go there because our father can’t afford it at that time😌 And after nearly 19 years, Masha Allah, we are here to pursue our MA. When the news came to me, it makes me feel this way, ‘am i too dumb?am i not struggling enough?does it because i’m old?or because i have so much faults?’ All those words keep on haunted me until i fell asleep with teary eyes. ....................................... In 1 week time, making phone calls everyday are my new routine. I’m far beyond the sea. Can’t fly there because of workload yada yada. That breaks my heart. ...................................... I have no one there. I’m nobody there. Just a part-timer MA student. but the help from these people, Only Allah knows well. I know people will say’they need your money’ But money can’t buy kindness. I learned that word in a place where you live as a stranger.I Do Learned That. ...................................... And after a long time holding that feeling, I burst into tears in Maghrib time. I’m exhausted and grateful at the same time. And at this moment, I’m counting days to go there for my 3rd semester. Yes i’m still that 👩🏻🎓.
