#ilikeaboy

[justbeau]

I can’t sleep. Too many things on my mind. Work, crush, life, everything I’ve ever done wrong in my life. And I have to be up at 5:30... worst night to not be able to sleep. Come on sandman, visit me please? #sleep #cantsleep #life #sandman #worries #ilikeaboy

[alyssarenaetownsend-blog]

I act like that bothers me but in reality, I desperately wish it was true.

[fakesatoss]

I've got to slow this down or my heart is not going to be the only one broken

[illstopthe-wholeworld]

I seriously just had one of the best nights of my life.

[love-will-cure-our-world]

So Meredith likes a boy.  And this is normally something that would be pretty exciting to me, feeling such strong emotions towards a person.  But this person is unattainable.  Not because he's uber popular or anything like that.. but something else that I don't really want to get into

Anyways I went to the dance with him and two friends tonight and everything about him seems to come out of love and kindness.  He is able to look back and really appreciate people and situations but at the same time he's also able to be a crazy-fun-confident-dancer!  He made me feel comfortable dancing... I even got in the middle of a dance circle with him.  And he has a smile that makes me want to say anything that could possibly bring it to his face.  

As much as I believe we are in control of our reality, that belief wanes when it comes to others.  Sure we can control how we see them - if we chose to see the good or the bad - but we don't really have control over their feelings and their actions.  And when we try to have control of those things nothing good really comes out of it.  

So what do I do?  I honestly do not know the answer.  I'm fairly positive he won't ever like me in that way and I don't want to get hurt.  But at the same time I have these feelings, which shouldn't be negative, and they feel awesome - I feel awesome.  

I guess I'll just accept that I feel this way.  I can't and don't really want to control them or gloss over them so I simply must accept them.  I will act how I desire and if I get hurt it is only part of my experience here on Earth.