#illustrated rambles

[fryday]

"this does not mean we're gonna turn into couple vloggers in bed" phil said. 23 hours later:

[fryday]

sorry we're supposed to call this the "depressing dagger eyes howell", are we? that seems right, dan

[fryday]

photos taken from by each other's side, or the brand of photo that radiates "you're next to me in my life"

[fryday]

face of a man who has full (and in this case misplaced) trust in his partner

[fryday]

i don't know why but i find their shoes together here cute :(

[fryday]

also. they're really cute

[fryday]

dan's breakup jokes sounding like love confessions to my ears

[fryday]

hello i really wanna talk about this. this is after dan asks for phil's forgiveness and phil says there's nothing to forgive. and dan says he's sorry phil couldn't have a "normal homosexual", which phil points out he isn't either, but he knows what dan means. and we come to this clip. it's barely 2 seconds long, it's so quiet, it's so open, and tender, and honest. and you can see how unguarded and unscripted it was by the way they each separately remember to break to address the camera/audience at different points. phil when he says "thanks" (to the camera rather than dan), and dan when he skirts eye contact with phil when phil looks back at him and looks away instead. and on the very surface it looks like he's putting on the "wow this is so cheesy and gay" eyes (and the voiceover that immediately follows does joke about the moment being gay) but you can see so clearly that beneath that super thin veil of ironic self-awareness, he's feeling a lot. he hadn't taken his eyes off phil the entire time, nor had he even said anything. he'd just been looking at him. and following that whole exchange about forgiveness, the weight this moment had, with its absence of words or explanation, felt like a shot to the heart.