HAVE U SEEN EPISODE 271 OF ILY?!?!?!?!?! THEY FINALLY SAID MUKOYOSHI OMG OMG OMG
I am SO excited to write about this episode oh my GOD!!!!! So many theories were proven true in one fell swoop - and so many things I personally vave been hawking at the fandom for so long lmao. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUNGCHUL IS KOUSUKE'S FATHER HAS LEGITIMACY TO IT NOW so I can further torture people with the possibility that Kousuke is Sangchul's UNCLE. (I feel so strongly about this and now that the ep has implied Youbgchul taking advantage of Yui..... this is SURREAL)
I've got SO MUCH to say about this ep - about Yui and Kousuke in particular - oh my god I just need to sit down and SCREAM because I feel like this was written specifically for me 😂😂😂
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Having the Mukoyoshi theory confirmed textually is great because now there's no arguments to Nol being the heir, Yui's motivations against him and Nessa, or why Kousuke was molded the way he was. It's been CLEAR for a long time it was real, but sometimes people wa t canon confirmation before they'll actually take it for truth, you know? 😂
Mukoyoshi confirmed, a taste of Yui's backstory, some info on what happened to Kouichi, and Kousuke's Rand resentment. (Also some INTERESTING Sangchul notes I can't wait to talk about, too!)
GOSH i love your analyses on i love yoo they're so DETAILED AND FUN TO READDDD
also i wanted to ask: what are your thoughts on alyssa?
we know how she treated shin ae in the past, but in terms of her and her relationship with nolan, what are your thoughts?
personally; im awaiting the break up episode - idk it seems like she doesn't really have compassion or care for yeonggi and its just uncomfortably awkward :(
thank you for the compliment!!
I haven't checked my asks in so long, and I have a feeling this one is so old TT TT
idk if you're still wanting a response, but I'll sum it up here:
they don't actually like each other (definitely not romantically, and I don't really think they'd even want to be friends)
they're staying together for prestige
they will breakup eventually, I'm leaning towards YG being the one who initiates it
in light of recent episodes (around ep 190-194), I'd also argue that Alyssa is gay/bi/queer in some way (and had a crush on Shin-ae) — which would actually be SUCH an interesting thing to explore and develop (is dating YG another way to avoid attention if she is queer?)
I'd also argue that SA is also queer, bc now her past actions seem more uh sus, but that's besides the point
It would also make Alyssa's absolute apathy for him, which was very uncomfortable as you mentioned, so much more nuanced and interesting.
Spot wouldhardly consider himself an expert on when was a good time to say the dreaded ‘Ilove you’ for the first time, but he knew that in the middle of a screamingmatch would not make the list. It was all Race’s fault, really. He just madeSpot feel stupid emotions like concern and worry and protectiveness. So when Racehad come home two hours late to their shoebox apartment, it had started thishuge argument about picking up the damn phone when Spot called or texting back,the situation getting slowly more heated until neither of them really rememberedwhat they had started arguing about anymore. Eventually, Spot just came outwith it.
“OF COURSEI WORRY. I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!”
It stoppedthe argument, if nothing else, but Spot would always be slightly disappointedthat Race had to hear the words for the first time screamed at him furiously.He deserved better.
I've been rereading I Love Yoo inconsistently, so maybe I'm missing smth or maybe it was originally blurry, you know in episode 148, in the flashback when Nol calls Kousuke, he says "after all these years of giving him the cold shoulder, of course he wouldn't pick up, I should've expected. I just want to talk and hear from you personally, just maybe it'll be different" so now I've got two questions actually.
The first one being, how did nol give kousuke the cold shoulder? Wasn't that the other way around though? Which can be also deciphered directly and right away from the flashback of the flashback scene, where nol reached out to him but he pushed him away?
Then, when he says "I just wanna hear it from you personally" what does it refer to? Like what does he want to hear from kousuke personally? Was he referring to how kousuke would tell everyone how he was violent or not to maintain friendships with him? That was a pretty kousuke thing to do, so why would he think it'd be different to hear that from kousuke personally? Or was it a different thing he was referring to?
Probably both of these have already been referred to in the story already but I just forgot, I'm sorry
Waaahhh it's been sooo long since I received an ILY-related ask, thank you so much! <3 I've missed talking about this series on tumblr! The reddit has been a little more active lately so I'm getting to yap a little more over there again, but nothing beats the comfort of getting to answer messages here on tumblr, haha.
So, to answer your first question, something to keep in mind is that there was a point, post-release from the hospital, where Nol and Kousuke switch roles. Where previously Nol had been trying in earnest to be a brother to Kousuke and to win his affection, he eventually gives up. This is initially discernible in ep 42, when Kousuke is reflecting on the times Nol attempted to give him birthday gifts, the last of them being a slice of cake he never accepted. There's an important factor here: Nol was wearing glasses in this last attempt to reach Kousuke.
The incident that separates Nol making effort vs Nol giving up is The Fight, the night Nol is taken away to the mental institution. Kousuke has referenced this fight in his discussion with Shinae, in ep 155, and we again see it again after Kousuke punches Nol confirming this to be the night Nol is taken away. This is believed to happen around the time Nol is 11.
There's a significant change in this last attempt of Nol gifting Kousuke and having it trashed, and it seems this is when Nol gives up on Kousuke. Given the jump in age from the penultimate gift, Nol is older, and this is presumably after he's been released from the institution, and we know this is kind of the point where Nol really just gives up on everything.
At this point, Kousuke essentially becomes Nol's babysitter and is always "looking out for him". Now we know what Kousuke is like and his reasonings for everything involving Nol, but he insists that he's trying to be a good brother. A lot of this has to do with Rand, of course, but I think this could have been Kousuke's first attempt to "make up" for the guilt he feels for the past, without actually acknowledging WHAT he feels guilty for and such. But his efforts to "be a good brother" are met with Nol's apathy. He's given up. He doesn't want to try anymore. He tried and tried and Kousuke met him with resistance so what's the point of trying anymore?
By this point, we know Nol is about 12 years old or so.
(We have a legit timeline put together by @willyoubemypartner, please check it out sometime if you want! Very comprehensive!)
So from around age age 12 until now, freshly 19, Nol has been giving Kousuke the cold shoulder and refusing Kousuke's efforts to "reach out" (in Kousuke's eyes lol). We see that present Kousuke is obviously frustrated with this, because he truly believes he's trying to do what's right for Nol, and that Nol is stubborn and childish for refusing him, that he's just being immature and petulant by way of ignoring him - and his advice.
So when Nol thinks about "after all these years of giving him the cold shoulder" he's acknowledging that his relationship with Kousuke is extra messed up by his "rebellion" (what Kousuke deems rebellion, that is), and that he wouldn't expect him to pick up because he's the bane of Kousuke's frustrations.
As for the last party, simply put, Nol just wanted to hear from Kousuke. Not via someone else, but from Kousuke himself. That night that he called was, essentially, Nol's last offer. His last chance. He reached out to Kousuke, once again, in a time of need and fear, needing some kind of family, needing some kind of support and once again, Kousuke met him with nothing. In fact, Kousuke met him with the kind of raw honesty that Nol didn't need to hear the night before his trial, what Kousuke has always thought about Nol but never voiced to him. He called as a last chance to connect with his brother, but was reminded again that Kousuke never once considered him a brother, never once wanted his relationship (except obviously he did, he just was too consumed by his own fear and jealousy). It's not that he wanted to hear something specifically; he just wanted to hear from Kousuke and give him a chance to be that brother he never was going to be. ;~;
ILY returning WAS on my 2025 bingo but I really, really didn't expect to check that box.
FOR REAL!!!!!!!
Quimchee really said here is a buffet of answers, reveals, and things you didn't know you needed, and a side of tissues because you're gonna need them and my god she was so right was my she?! I am LIVING for these updates! Some of this is stuff I thought we might not get until later, some stuff I never knew we'd get!
ILY really came back with the biggest hype bang and oh my god I love it so much, I'm so excited and on the edge of my seat for each coming Thursday
Lemme know which is THAT box for you because there's so many they're piling up now but I love to know what's the moment to make others lose their minds 👀👀
Hii I just to say LOVE your analysis on ily as someone who's only discovered the webtoon what like, one year ago? It's been fascinating to see all the theories that's been thrown around so far, and I'm so invested in the story it's insane. This honestly might be really stupid but is there some sort of link between Nol and Lil' buddy? I just feel like they're similar in some ways, and it seems like Lil' buddy has a knack for identifying lies and truths (especially from Nol)
I'm probably reading too much into things and are going crazy helpp
Hello! First off, I just want to say hey great it is that people are still discovering and getting into I Love Yoo, and that people still make their ways over here to my blog! I think getting into ILY at this point must be WILD - you have so much more episodes and content to work with, so many fan theories to look through and feel out, so many discussions that exist online, it must feel overwhelming and really fun! And of course I'm really delighted that people still make their way to this blog and read my takes and my recap thoughts! <3 ILY has been on a hiatus for such a long time, now, but watching fanodm continue and seeing new lifeblood trickle in is invigorating!
Secondly, I want you to know that you are SO close and you shouldn't feel like you're reading into things because these are exactly the things that are written with the intention of you reading into them and wondering what they're meant to say or represent!
Firstly, I'd like to direct you to this post over on reddit, which really covers this topic! I think I wrote this before I was posting things on to tumblr, so I don't have a post I can link you to on here, but this was one of my early posts about Lil Buddy essentially serving as a meta plot device of a truth or lie detector! You're correct that there's a link, but it's more in that Lil Buddy has a knack of identifying lies and truths. Now, I do note that this is very meta because it's not so much that Lil Buddy himself is capable of this, as much as it's a meta device used to convey something to us the readers, much like eyes closed or not visible representing masks be it deceit or wearing your identity mask etc.
We see that Lil Buddy detects the truth and lies in all characters he interacts with, with Dieter the character revealed (at the time) the most open and honest. Lil Buddy even has an adversarial reaction to Soushi, with a "translation" provided of "I'm on to you, bitch!" lmaoooo indicating Soushi's status as Kousuke's "agent" and having not come clean to Nol about it yet.
I used to wonder about the "rules" - does Lil Buddy respond only to deceit that can hurt or affect her? - but I no longer think about that because I think it's more that he's just meant to convey something to us. That someone is suspicious and we should be considering them more. I do still think about Lil Buddy vs Shinhye and whether his action was one of protective defense or one of a suspicion person, and tbh, why can't it be both? Even if Shinhye had no intention to hurt Shinae, he sensed danger and suspicion. And we know Shinhye is.... let's say she's not as "normal" as the other characters given what we can assume thus far about the kind of life she probably lead after their mother left with her.
At any rate, fear note! You were not reading too much into anything! Lil Buddy does try to reveal suspicious character in those he interacts with (or that we're told about, such as him not being fond of Shinae's girlfriends) and reacting to deceit!
Thank you so much for answering my question! I really enjoyed reading your essay!!! Man, I really hope Kousuke gets some friends and a support circle at the end of it all, he really needs it. 🥲 This might sound stupid lol but do you think he may have a potential love interest 👀, that thought came to mind because of some curious cat answers. (I mean, he would spend 50K on an engagement ring, he really is going all in. 😂 And between him and Nol, he would be the one more likely to fall in love at first sight, which really surprises me tbh.)
I'd like to read you opinion on this lol.
Haha you're welcome! I think we all know that in general, I just love to talk ILY and I especially love to talk about Kousuke because I find the morally complicated characters SO fun - esp when we understand that characters like him are capable of growth and recovery and I really want to see it come! I, too, hope he ends up with a support circle. I'm so curious if he'll make any reconnection with his old college friend group, which actually brings me to your question!
I don't think it's stupid at all; it's inevitable to wonder this, I think, even if we know that Kousuke's *current* position is not one of someone who is looking for love lol. I want to preface that I don't want to spout any "people need to heal before they can be in a relationship" kind of talk, because the truth is, we are constantly healing, learning, unlearning, recovering, and relapsing in our daily lives. If everyone waited until they were "healthy", when would anyone fall? And frankly, that's the case with Nol and Shinae, right? The both of them are in shaky places (well, Nol more so than Shinae but the point stands), but it doesn't stop us from shipping them and wanting to see their relationship develop, wanting to see them assist each other and grow with each other. I think esp in fandom discourse we've strive to be so healthy and anti-problematic that we gravitate away from what is actually human and how people really interact, so with that in mind, I'm going to dig into this topic, because I have a LOT of thoughts, actually!
Apologies for how long it's taken to answer this; I started to reply, got overwhelmed because I was trying to really be detailed and provide lots of context and references, walked away, and then my whole PC restarted itself and I lost everything because I'm a dingdong who forgets to save in-progress posts as drafts LMAO BUT!!!! I'm here now!!!!!!
Now, the first thing I want to start off with is that curious cat answers can be interesting, because I believe Quimchee answers them honestly, but I also believe she would often answer them as the mindset of the characters, as how they presented, and how they would answer and want to be seen. This one is debatable, because I feel like it goes both ways. I could see Kousuke feeling like he has to go all out on an engagement wing and wedding because that's what's expected of him, the Hirahara heir, affluent Kousuke who is viewed by all for his status and money and therefore must prove himself with acts befitting of such status. Not as much that he'd think a 50k engagement ring was so beautiful that he wanted his partner to have it, but that he wouldn't look at anything less than a 50k engagement ring because that's beneath them and he'd never dare sully his partner with something so base lol. He has an image to maintain, lest others view him as cheap or rude; he must appear a perfect gentlemen. That said, Kousuke has grown up in affluence and it's what he knows. Quality IS important to him. His affection for his Burburry coats doesn't seem to be entirely status and image as much as a quality he's become accustomed to, a craft he's willing to pay for. So yes, it could simply be that of course he'd pay 50k for an engagement ring, that's just the nature of the person he is, how he was raised, and it's what is normal to him. He views money differently than us. Would it be the same of him going all out with an engagement and wedding? Status vs this is just what's natural to him?
But at the same time.... I think Kousuke is so desperate for love and approval, that if he found someone who made him feel truly loved and seen in a way that no one else has, someone who loved him for him - the way Nol once did - who doesn't want him for his status or money or influence or family but simply because they enjoyed him - maybe he WOULD be inclined to spoil this partner. Kousuke doesn't (yet) really know how to be in a relationship, and I don't mean this in a romantic sense but just. A relationship between two people. All of his relationships are either obligate (family, Jayce in his mind) or one sided (those who use him for their ulterior motives). There's no relationships where he gives and takes, where he inspires and is inspired. Hansuke does his best to love and support Kousuke unconditionally, but Kousuke believes that this is the obligate love of family, and can't right now see that this is love for the sake of love, someone who sees and gives because they want to, not because they desire something in return, or because they are required to do so.
Shinae is the closest thing he has to this right now, and even this isn't that kind of relationship. But we can see he's making the effort, and I think in time he can learn. And I think in time we could see Kousuke with a partner where he spoils them for loving him in a way he's yearned for, because expressing his feelings is so difficult, because vulnerability is so difficult to him, because he's so afraid to open up.
This is where the reconnection with his old college friends comes in.
I actually talked a LOT with @popomegranate because she is my resident Kousuke fan expert lol and we had a LOT of fun talking about this and (tbh not not unsurprisingly) we were on the same page with a lot of our thoughts, which makes me feel good about the answer I'm giving you hahaha. This is, of course, largely my opinion based on what we've been given in story so far; Quimchee can always throw something at us that will blow up this entire thought process, as she often does lmaoooo but currently based on what we currently know, here's what I (and Kiko) think!
We know there will be new characters in the future, but I don't think we've getting a lot of brand new, out of the blue characters. I think there might be some but I think our new characters will probably be characters already mentioned in the story who will come to have bigger roles that they didn't have before.
In episode 241, we find Yujing and Kousuke out together with at least two people, talking about Kousuke. Based on the conversation and the familiarity of the conversation ("What's going on with Kousuke?" "Is it just another one of his tantrums?" "How's the guy doing these days?") it is safe to assume these must be friends from their friend group back in college. Introducing them now, with their faces barely seen or cut out really gives an indication that I think they will be playing roles in the future. Why else bring them into the fray?
This is important to me because we know their friend group had at least 6 people in it, not counting Kousuke (shown in ep 143) and amongst the shadowy figures shown, at least 2, maybe 3 of the figures look to have feminine builds, and one is clearly Yujing, so there are other women in the group. We've been told before that Kousuke does have dating history and there's a question about Yui's concern about Kousuke's lack of commitment that implies Kousuke does have some kind of secret from her - that maybe, perhaps, he did indeed have a girlfriend in college? Look I can't remember how much of this is well known/actually established but the general deal is: fandom generally believes Kousuke had a girlfriend - or was at least seeing someone - in college who was probably part of, or connected to, to their friend group (because let's be real, the age range is kind of a Thing lmao). Perhaps a sibling of one of the friends?
What Kiko and I - and I'm sure many others! - believe is that Kousuke dated Manli, the friend of Yujing's we've seen her talking and we've seen show up in the formal. And in fact, there's just a couple interesting small things in the formal that we can read too much into, if we are so inclined - and I am inclined!
Here's our pretty girl Manli, with the green eyes and straight brows. Manli is absolutely a character I expect to play a much bigger role in the webtoon. A popular theory is that she is connected to the girl who took her life (flashback viewed in 239) - perhaps that was her sister or someone close to her? And that Yujing sent this girl to Kousuke to help back her up, but Kousuke made the choice instead to protect his family. (Was she assaulted by the Kims? Was she in a scenario much like Shinae where she was drugged and left a victim of the lascivious men who prey upon young girls?) Shinae asks, during her "interview" with Yujing "Has this ever happened to you?" and Yujing tells her no but she knows someone who has had a similar experience. (And there's already a theory that the Kim formal was essentially a recreation of something from the past, which, again, feels very connected to this girl who took her life).
When Yujing and Manli spot the Kousuke dancing with Shinae scene, they both wear really different expressions. Manli's is harder to decipher than Yujing's; could she be worried, knowing what happens when young girls become entangled with Kousuke and the Hirahara family? Could she feel a pang of the past? At first, she appears almost sad. But in the other image, her brows look concerned but it's an expression that could carry some kind of pain. They don't stay and watch long.
But interestingly, when they run into Kousuke in "disguise" when he's later searching for Shinae, Manli has an interesting reaction to him. She can't see his face, but something about him strikes familiar.
All of this excessive exposition is just because I think if Kousuke is going to date anyone (as in, if we're going to SEE him strike up a relationship with anyone), I think it would be someone he already knows and has had experience with, because quite frankly, I think Kousuke getting to know new people and to the point of comfort that he can develop feelings....... there's not enough time left in the webtoon LMAO. Should that be the option for his route, it's the kind of thing that would happen off page, and of course it stands to be a good opportunity because frankly, wouldn't it be good for Kousuke to move outside of this world and to something behind this Hirahara life he's been locked in?
But at the same time, with Hansuke talking so much about missing their old group hanging out together, reminiscing about how they used to have so much fun, and a central theme of that being that Kousuke left because he was threatened by Nol's release from the facility, that the threat returned and he could no longer allow himself to "have fun" and needed to "redirect his focus" to "the things that mattered" - all being the things that he was manipulated into doing, the rigid patterns of a manipulated, gaslighted, paranoid kid who had been programmed to view a threat that never existed..... part of me gets hopeful that it means maybe we'll see that bridge repaired. I don't think it means we'll ever see Kousuke completely loosen up, but I think there's a chance for him to try to make amends for the past.
Kousuke's newfound distrust of his mom, his slow-coming realization of the ways he's been manipulated and lead down a dark path, his acknowledgment that it's true he's never done anything for himself but out of fear of losing Rand's approval and trying to maintain the approval of his family and people he can now see never actually cared (Yui), makes me feel like Kousuke WILL try to help Nol, should Nol ever allow him. (There's even that conversation in 239 where Yujing tells Nol that should he feel ready to tell her what he really thinks happened that night, with what she knows, she's ready to believe him - and that Kousuke likely would be, too. Yujing knows that the fissure crack in Kousuke's world is enough to make him question everything, especially where it pertains to his beliefs about Nol, the things Yui has said and implied, and the things he knows/believes that dot line up with reality as it stands.)
And what I'm getting at with this is that I think this could lead to Kousuke making more effort, if people are willing to have it. He abandoned his friends, implied that they were beneath him and he was destined for something far more important, but he knows now that wasn't the truth. And if he expresses that, could there be a potential for them to give him another chance?
And that's where Manli comes in. Do you think someone who once cared about him, who had that kind of expression on her face, might be willing to hear him out, especially if it comes with a sincere apology? We know that Yujing is harsh on Kousuke because once upon a time she cared and, much like Nol, she wants him to defy the things that hold him back, to rise above everyone who controls him, to cast off his image and just live for himself. She fights him because he puts the people who control him above those who cared about him, because he wears that superiority like a shield instead of taking any action. But that's Yujing. We don't actually know a lot about Manli, but could she be someone willing to hear him out? To empathize with the story of his manipulation and drugging and to come to understand why it was so difficult for him to see the truth? Again, just to be clear, I don't think this would justify his inaction and I think it would be valid for anyone (especially likely Yujing) to hold that against him. But I think, too, acknowledging that you failed them, that you failed her, that you were so wrapped up in your own life that you didn't see the truth, but now you do and now you're willing to do better could be convincing to some people.
The thing about mistakes and accidents isn't that "someone fucked up so they're forever canceled'. It's "someone fucked up but are they making the effort to be a better person than that? to never make that same mistake again?" Fandom (and I mean fandom in general, not ILY) often wants things to be black and white. So-and-so is a bad/toxic character because of these things they've done and then ignore whether or not that character a. has circumstances that pushed the character to take those choices and b. whether or not the character has regrets and wants to be better/do better.
People, of course, are free to not forgive someone even if they do make effort to be better. Yujing could forever be resentful towards Kousuke. But I think Yujing wants to see Kousuke rise above the control, to defy the people who have molded him and rigidly maintained his identity and behavior, and to just be him. And I think that means there's room for Manli, too.
If Manli is able to hear him out, to empathize with him, to be a listener, to be someone who sees him and doesn't have ulterior motives towards him, a true friend, one who he maybe had some kind of a past with, could she, perhaps, be the person we could see a spark with Kousuke? I think if there's any potential love interest, it's her. Like I said, if we go the route of Kousuke meeting someone new elsewhere, it's going to happen off page. But Kousuke and his insular world turning to the group who, once upon a time, helped him break out of his shell a little bit, feels like an interesting full circle act that is possible. Where else would he go, tbh? Who else does he have, besides Shinae and Jayce? (And let's be frank, I'm worried about Jayce's survival right now.)
And there's something about the idea of Kousuke and Manli rekindling their past, little feelings they had when they were so young, now as mature, trauma-laden adults navigating life (with difficulty), esp with the idea of it being born of empathy and a willingness to hear him out and give him another chance. Something about that is so tender and romantic to me. I'm a sucker for second-chance romances but esp in a situation like this? Where it would be a second-chance wherein Kousuke is/has atoned, is making that effort to find himself, and could find it in his past. ;AAAA;
AAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHHH I WANNA SEE IT I'M NGL!!!!!!!!!!!
Helloooo!! I really love reading your analysis they're so well done!! So I wanted to read more of your thoughts about Shin-Ae and Kousuke's future relationship (platonical ofc) since I saw that you mention it a lot lol. How do you think it'll go? Will they like, become close friends and such?
Oh Nonny. Platonic Shinsuke is SO SO SO important to me - but you probably already have an idea of that, sending me this ask, hehehe. But I still want to say THANK YOU for sending this, regardless, but I jump at any opportunity to blab about Platonic Shinsuke lmao. I'll go ahead and reiterate here that I'm going to be referring to Kousuke and Shinae's relationship going forward in this post and that yes, of course I meant it platonicly and not that I'm shipping them (but I also want to make it clear that I've got nothing against people shipping them; I don't wanna see any of that kind of hate in my notes or inbox alright?), but I know sometimes people see the word "relationship" and assume that you MUST be talking about romance even though we have all kinds of relationships between us and the people in our lives and most of them AREN'T romantic in nature. But yknow, gotta make it clear lest anyone try to twist words.
ANYWAY.
This one is LONG. It's been a while, ahhhh, the return of the long posts!
So the thing with Shinae and Kousuke is that I definitely have what I WANT to play out and as we know, what I want and how things DO play out aren't always the same, but I'll try to be rational and imagine how I think things can/might go, too. But ultimately what i DO want is for Shinae and Kousuke to form a close friendship. Kousuke needs friends in his life - and I mean this plural. I'd love for him to reach a point where he sees that Hansuke loves him not out of obligation but because he just DOES, that there is nothing obligate about the lengths he's gone to in order to be there for him. I'd love if he could one day reconnect with his old uni friends. I don't know that there's a lot of room for him to reconnect with Yujing or not; I think they're both so caught up in their own differences that if Kousuke ever came around to her (that is, acknowledge why she's treated him how she has and acknowledge the grudge she holds against him), I'm not sure if YUJING could ever let it go. I'd like to be proven wrong, though. I think Yujing and Kousuke could be a fun duo, esp if she and Hansuke can ever make up (look I know the moment the news drops about Rand not being Kousuke's father, Hansuke will feel betrayed. But this isn't about him!).
But what I'm getting at is, I would love if Shinae could be counted amongst Kousuke's friends, and i think we're supposed to be/going to be seeing that, in some form. We're going to address some illustrations Quimchee has created, with the caveat that yes these are considered "non-canon" but also that Quimchee sneaks a lot into these and we see a lot of foreshadowing in them. And of course, the first up is this notorious illustration:
Go on, click it. We've got some high res here baby.
Now, I have of course talked about this before elsewhere in my blog and if I was better organized I could find and link to those instances, but alas, I'm not, so I'll just reiterate things here as they're relevant to what I'm saying anyway. Clearly in the past this was the harbinger of much shipping wars and debate, and while a general consensus these days is that this illustration largely represents that Shinae will be a bridge between the brothers and help connect them, there's a lot to be said about the Shinsuke side of this illustration.
The way Kousuke lays in the dark with Shinae partly in the dark with him, the way he looks at her in wonder, and the way their hands connect feels SO important to our current and future point of the story. Shinae's hand is beneath Kousuke's in a way that suggests she's taking his hand, like she's helping someone up from the ground, pulling them to their feet. And we've already seen Kousuke's wonder before; Shinae is someone who fascinates him, and continues to do so, because she is (aside from Nol who he's locked away) the only person who seems to have no ulterior motives with him, according to him. (Caveat to acknowledge that YES Hansuke has no ulterior motives and YES Jayce seems to genuinely care about him, and not only because he's employed by him. I know! I love this about them! I'm speaking strictly of how Kousuke views the people around him, because it's his self-esteem that is important here.) To Kousuke, everyone around him desires something from him, whether it's just the glory of being close to the Hirahara heir or actually coveting his status, his money, wanting favors, etc. But not Shinae.
She is different than the people in his world. She stands up to him, she tells him the things no one else would dare dream to do and doesn't cow to him in favor of brown-nosing. Kousuke knows people don't like him, he knows it's all flattery, but only Shinae says the things that they wish they could. Only Shinae sees him as a person, and this is so vital to their possible relationship.
I think if we view this within the context of the current point of the story, too, of a Kousuke who will have lost everything, who has opened himself up to the truth about everything he once believed in, who is becoming aware of the harm he's done in the name of what he thought was protection in what he thought was to make his family proud, we are met with a Kousuke who is full of self-loathing, a Kousuke who is an empty vessel devoid of everything he once held close; and isn't it a wonder, if Shinae continues to see him as a person. Continues to talk to him, to interact with him, when he has nothing to offer, when he is nothing but a husk of a man, a monster, really, who has done horrible things to someone she cares so much about, who has caused so much harm to people around him? Because while Kousuke knows and is perplexed by Shinae's lack of ulterior motives, by the way she treats him like a person, I expect that when he's consumed by his own self-loathing - when he's lost his entire identity because who else was he BUT the heir to the Hirahara company and fortune, someone trying in vain to catch up to and impress his father, what else is there TO HIM? - he'll be further perplexed that with nothing else to offer, with the truth of who and what he really is on the table, why would she want anything to do with him?
Now, I'm uncertain where I stand with Shinae and the current Kousuke. Last we saw them, after she'd witnessed Kousuke punching Nol and the whole falling from the balcony deal, following the awful, tense confrontation in Minhyuk's room, she still treated Kousuke the same way she always does. Will her feelings towards him have changed because Kousuke essentially hospitalized Nol? What will their working relationship be like going forward while Nol is in jail and Kousuke is falling apart? In fact, will Kousuke be whisked off to Japan, all alone? What remains of Shinae who has to finish up school? Technically she has to complete her time with the Hiraharas, but she's employed as Kousuke's assistant; how does that work? This makes it trickier for me to really give a good guess on how I think things will go. For example, something I've always felt strongly about is that there might be a chance that Shinae won't finish out her contractual obligations before going off to uni. Should she take Yui's offer - and let's be real, it is going to happen - she'll like be given a reprieve, in order to finish school, and will likely have to finish up the remainder of her contract after she graduates, or maybe during a summer, but I feel like part of Yui's offer would entail Shinae making connections and taking advantage of internship opportunities. Yui is, after all, trying to build Shinae in her likeness.
That's a lot of rambling to say: I'm not entirely sure where Shinae will sit with Kousuke at this point. If she continues to work with him until graduation, though, I think we'll see her growing concerned about him. The thing about Shinae is that she sees people in a way that not everyone else does, which is what makes her such a wonderful MC and especially, what makes her so good in Kousuke's proximity; she extends empathy not always reserved by others. The other thing is she has an alcoholic for a father and can recognize it in someone else. (That said, I fear Kousuke will go beyond alcoholism; going from being unknowingly dependent on drugs, I think he will probably become an addict :<.)
The other thing about her is that Shinae, too, has experienced Yui. Knows Yui. As @poisonheart put it "because she has seen Yui, even when Kou carries traits of her, she can still see the sides that ARE NOT". Kousuke will likely struggle with understanding WHO he is, and how much of him is just Yui's manipulation, and if there's any real Kousuke at all, but Shinae can see that he was never truly Yui. That yes, he DOES differ from her and while yes he has those traits and has been enmeshed with them, the fact that he carries any regret at all, the fact that he is wracked with guilt at all alone proves that he's not her, that he still has a core identity, even if he doesn't see it yet.
I'm not sure if she's there yet, but certainly with a little more life experience, certainly after meeting more people and living in that world a little more (Yui offering Shinae the opportunity to any school of her dreams means the opportunity to some of the more expensive schools attended by the likes of Kousuke and Yujing's world, to partake in that kind of society and learn the kinds of social cues and behaviors that they've learned) I think Shinae will DEFINITELY be able to meet Kousuke with that understanding. Because while I think we'll see Shinae morph a little bit once exposed to that world, I don't think it will ever erase who she really is, her integrity and empathy, her strong sense of justice and morals, and most importantly, her ability to see the best in people, to see people as people. And that includes Kousuke.
The other illustration I want to include is the Anime Expo poster Quimchee did that showed a potential time skip at the bottom.
I want to focus on the potential timeskip portion, though, so let's look at that.
Again, this is NOT canon!!!! But I think we can agree that it probably is a nice little hint about what to expect from the future of ILY/where we'll find ourselves after the timeskip, right?
Of note, previously Kousuke carried the briefcase, and now it's Shinae who does. Kousuke, in fact, looks like.... well it looks like he's just going to suffer his way through the timeskip, right? Because of his trenchcoat, we can't even be sure he actually is headed to work or not, like Shinae, though I'm not sure I think Kousuke's rock bottom would include unemployment; in fact, I think the worst rockbottom is staying employed at the company, despite no longer being the heir, with no ambition, just performing duties, living a routine that brings him no real joy.
One of the thoughts that has come of this portion of the poster is that maybe this represents a dynamic where Shinae is the one chasing after Kousuke (supposing she's still his assistant and hasn't taken a position of her own in the company, which, very possible!) and trying to pull Nol with her (again, the concept of the bridge, despite Nol's reluctance). Of course, it could just be that Shinae has her eyes set forward and is working forward relentlessly, regardless of Kousuke in front of her but that could also be the dynamic of being a working woman, too.
It sets up that dynamic of Shinae now being the one who has to look after Kousuke, the way Kousuke thought he was doing for Shinae. She now the one who is successful and goal-driven, the one with potential ambition and dreams and Kousuke treading waters with no real sense of what he wants, just existing, just doing what is asked of him because what else is he supposed to do? And I think we could have a really good dynamic from them. I love when the tables flip! I loved it when Shinae was the one throwing Nol's own advice and words back at him, trying to coax him back to her, and I love the idea of Shinae doing the same thing to Kousuke, who seems now to resemble who she once did - someone who has nothing figured out, who doesn't know what she wants, who is just surviving but not living.
I WANT them to become close. I WANT Shinae to become someone who sees Kousuke - really sees him, for what he is - because she's been there, because she knew him before, because she knows how hard it can be to find yourself, because she knows how difficult it is to figure out what you want, because she knows how hard it is to climb up from the bottom (has watched her father battle alcoholism). I think he needs a friend like her - someone who is frank and real and open and says what needs to be said but knows how to deliver it in a way that isn't cruel and debilitating. And for Kousuke, who has never relied on others because he was so busy trying to impress his father, so busy trying to prove himself, to open up and maybe learn to rely on her? Ohhhh I think it would be so good, so beautiful! I think it would be a good step for him actually going forth and making friends, one day.
I know some people out there probably think that Shinae is too young to be that kind of friend to Kousuke, but I don't think it's about age as much as the kind of person you are, and Kousuke needs someone with her kind of empathy and understanding, but also someone who knows the brothers both, who knows Yui. That's an intimate understanding of his plight and while I don't think it's absolutely necessary TO help Kousuke, I think it makes the process that much easier. Because they can talk about things that would otherwise need so much explanation. Because she has a sense of both sides. Because I think she'd be someone who would be able to see what Nol will likely struggle with for so long - that Kousuke has true regrets and feels true guilt and not just because he's losing everything, but because he has Woken Up. Because he can see things for what they really are, now, and that this wasn't the kind of person he wanted to be.
I don't think it would be easy, at first. I think, a lot like Nol now, Kousuke won't want to talk about things, won't see any value in himself so why even bother, but it's Shinae's persistence and tenacity that pays off so well in this regard, in knowing how to push peoples' buttons to get them to open up. Just like she knows how to wheedle Maya, Minhyuk, to get to Nol, Shinae knows how to rile up Kousuke in a way that would be beneficial in opening up. And I think, in time, he might be willing to. Because in time, Kousuke would see the earnestness. I think he'd see the friendship, when he has nothing more to offer, when she's seen him at his lowest.
When Nol is so important to her, but she still has eyes to see Kousuke, too.
This is something about Platonic Shinsuke that REALLY gets to me. Kousuke is SO USED to being in Nol's shadow, so USED to lacking the genuine relationships he sees Nol has, so USED to coveting what Nol has, that for someone who has also been dazzled by Nol who has bathed in the sunshine that is Yeonggi, who has fallen in love with Nol but STILL can look at Kousuke and see him, as well, hasn't been so eclipsed that Kousuke is once again shadowed means SO MUCH. It's what he's always yearned for Rand to do - to see them both, to give them both attention. To love them both. If Shinae could love Nol, and still love Kousuke, even at his worst/lowest, even when Nol shines so bright in her eyes, isn't that so poignant? Doesn't that mean something?
Shinae is someone who, I think, makes other characters feel special, given the opportunity. It's part of why people are so drawn to her - and again I don't mean this in a romantic way. I think people feel seen by her. Why else do you think Alyssa had such a big fat obvious crush on her? Why else did Nol fall so hard? Why else did Minhyuk take all those extra measures to protect her? She sees people for who they really are and makes them feel like they matter - like they're something, like they're someone. And I think that's what her relationship with Kousuke will be. That, just as she saw Nol when he felt invisible and unworthy and was buried in the shadows, she'll too see Kousuke when he hides himself in the shadows feeling unworthy and unlovable, and I hope she'll have love for him. It won't be love at first. It will definitely start out as a concerned acquaintance lol but I think we'll see friendship come of it. I think we'll see companionship come from it.
Because again, how else will Shinae bridge the brothers together? If Shinae can see something in Kousuke, then maybe Nol one day will be able to try, too. Maybe one day Nol will be able to separate his hurt from his growth and acknowledge that Kousuke is more than the pain that he caused him, that people can grow and are capable of remorse and changing and that moving on sometimes means closing doors. If Shinae can see that Kousuke is not a total monster, the way she sees that Nol is not a total monster, then maybe Nol can, too.
And tbh I just really want to see what comes of their relationship! As Shinae grows into the kind of "refined woman" in the working world that Kousuke was lmaooo god bless him trying to "help" her become, will he give her advice? Will they have dinners together? As he starts to wake up from his Self-Loathing Coma would she be able to get him to talk about work problems and help her solve things? I think they would make a fantastic professional team! But because we know Kousuke's heart isn't really in the job - he's only ever done it because he's trying to impress Rand, to reach his goal, to become CEO one day - could she convince him to pursue other career paths? Could they talk about their real passions? Could she help him discover his passion? Is this even Shinae's passion? I just want to see Kousuke open up a little bit, the way Nol has, and I think he could do it with her! I think Shinae could be a lot like family he never felt he had (yknow. Given uh. Everything with Nol alfkjakfajfkajfjk LMAO) and maybe he could be the same for her, in a different way than Minhyuk. I think there's so much potential for them, as long as Kousuke gets to that point.
AND I WANT TO SEE IT SO BADLY. I want more bickering and bantering Shinae and Kousuke, Shinae able to press his buttons and rile him up and maybe he'll learn to be less cruel with his words, find softer edges. Maybe. Hahahaha.
They're so important to me, Nonny. And I genuinely hope it could lead to Kousuke making more friends - going back to his uni friends because he's becoming a people again, maybe even make up with Yujing even if they can't ever put everything behind them. Maybe. That's such a maybe hahahahaha. I try to accept that Alyssa will likely not have a happy ending, so I try to project really hard that maybe we'll get to see Kousuke at least be a little bit okay ;~;
This isn't Shinae and Nol's story. This is Shinae and Nol and Kousuke's story, and I think she's a part of both of their lives in significant ways. I think it's not just that she's close to Nol, but that she'll be important in both of their lives, yknow? That's her magic. She's not limited to just one person; she is empathetic sees people and I think she'll serve that role in Kousuke's life, as well.
