It's been almost five months since I accidentally moved abroad and went MIA, here's an update!
I'm doing great!
I fell in love with an art program at a local university and I'm planning to enroll next year! (so happy i get the american dream of student loans haha). I thank my lucky stars I have all the support and love I can have rn, and looking back, I think I made the right choice by moving, even if I didn't mean to in the beginning. I'm so much more independent, and happy, it really feels like I'm starting to live.
Tw: my tragic backstory
At home I wasn't allowed to do my own finances, I didn't have my boundaries respected most of the times, and was told to allow and ignore the abuse, as to not make the abuser uncomfortable. I got screamed at and shamed for wanting things that didn't align with my abuser's idea of what I should be.
I didn't know I had the option to be anything else.
These past months away from home have been healing: I opened my own bank account, I'm allowed to set boundaries, no one tells me that I need to change aspects of myself in order to deserve being loved and respected. It's been really hard, and I cry about it a lot more than I should. I often wonder if I made the right choice, if this is what I needed to do in order to become the person I'm meant to be.
But then I see what I've become. I recently started roller skating. I discovered I love cooking, that there are way more flavors of sparkling water than I ever imagined and turns out I hate geese for getting in my way when I'm trying to get to work. Every tuesday my best friend and I sit in Tim Hortons and eat half blueberry, half birthday cake timbits (they're $1 on tuesdays!) or just sit in Panera and do watercolors together while sipping on charged lemonades. I've been working and speaking full time a language I didn't think I was fluent in, and I still struggle ordering food, but I'm working on it!
What I'm trying to say is, I'm happy. There's so much to life I never thought I'd get to experience, and look at me now! I'm alive, and I'm okay! I hope the sun is always this bright for me.
I’m supposed to be alseep, but here I am obsessing over Got a Girl and how incredible Mew is and how amazing it is to hear her voice whenever I want. Like she has this incredible album with such incredible songs on it! I can listen to them whenever I want! I can hear Mew sing all the time! It’s blowing my mind right now!
