#im cacklign

[ms-paint-gerard-daily]

I GOT POST LIMITED SPAM RBING MS PAINT GERARD DO I GET A GOLD STAR

YOU GET ONE MILLION GOLD STARS

[ritalin-rabbit]

IM TURNING INTO 007N7 /REF

OH MY GOD THERE'S LIKE 10 OF THESE IN MY INBOX WHAT THE FUCK

[joysjoy]

niamh can’t answer my texts and i’m missing out tbh

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

event entry!!

“dorian gay is mad at me because i stole the r from his last name”

submitted by @ami-fidele

[max--phillips]

Tfw you get extremely cursed text messages from @coredrive that are so cursed that you, an agnostic at best, encourage her to go to church and receive christ

[adreamingsongbird]

Yuri walks outside one evening to find a (very handsome) stranger (Victor) drunkenly trying to "steal" his dog from the backyard (by that i mean he's just crouching there petting it. And sort-of crying. Someone help him)

“What are you doing?”

There is a man in his back yard.  There is not supposed to be a man in his back yard, unless Vicchan suddenly learned how to shape shift, which would be really scary because what if he could turn into an octopus or something too?  It would be really stupid and humanocentric to assume he would only go dog to person.  If he became a fish while Yuuri was at the store he could die!

Anyway.  Dude.  In the yard.  Crying.  That seems wrong.

“I’m not crying!” says the crying man in his yard.  “I s-swear I’m not!”

“Doubt dot jay-pee-gee,” Yuuri says because he is apparently a dork who says that kind of thing out loud.  “Vicchan?”

“My name is Viktor and I live here,” says the very pretty crying man.  That’s weird.  Vicchan’s name is Viktor.  “Please marry me.”

“Why would I do that,” Yuuri asks incredulously.  “Why would I ever do that?  Vicchan is--no way.”

There is a bark.  Yuuri jumps about three feet in the air and actually screeches.  That was a Vicchan bark, but the man in the yard didn’t make that noise!

“Vicchan?!”

A tiny wiggly beautiful perfect little puppy wriggles out of the man’s arms, and the man starts crying harder.

“Don’t leave meeee!” he wails.  “You’re too cuuuuuute!”

Vicchan trots up to Yuuri and flops over on top of his feet.  Yuuri picks him up.  “I’m confused,” he says.  “If Vicchan is right here, who are you?”

“I’m Viktor,” Viktor says.  “I am drunk and I love your dog.  I also have a dog.  Please marry me?  She’s a beautiful dog, she’ll love you when we move in together, you know!”

“How did you even get into my yard?” Yuuri asks, nonplussed.  “It’s fenced in?”

“Determination,” Viktor says.  “I had to pet the dog.  You would understand if you saw Makkachiny-poo.”

“I think you should reevaluate your proposal in the morning,” Yuuri says, laughing a little, because he gets it, really.  He’d climb a fence to pet a dog too, when drunk.  “You can sleep on my couch if you want.”

“Okay!” says Viktor, happily, as if he wasn’t crying over Vicchan’s perfection literally two goddamn seconds ago.  “I love you, future husband!”

(It makes a great meet-cute story to tell people at their wedding, a few years down the line.)

[spearxwind]

you would not believe your sales

if ten million sans undertales

[edalynn]

THANKS FOR NOT RIPPIN MY ARMS OF MAGNUS