and i really struggle to do this as it seems to come naturally to most of the population but that does not matter- a few years ago i could not have even gone into an itty bitty local grocery store for so much as a few minutes without having a panic attack so bad i passed out.
but today i survived a whole hour in a major city costco, and i barely panicked. it was uncomfortable and i was overstimulated as all hell (something i cannot ‘move past’, i will have to cope with that forever as it is just. how my brain functions being autistic and that’s okay), and despite it seeming downright juvenile i HAVE to give myself credit for this.
like, seriously, the thought of me coming out of that situation completely… fine would be fucking incomprehensible to the version of me that existed just a little bit ago.
and if there is any hope of me improving i have GOT to honor that which is an achievement to me.
