When Dean does something questionable, something that makes fans question his morals – the response is often: "Well, he was raised in an abusive household, he was neglected, he’s a victim. John raised him, and John was worse."
Yet when Sam does something wrong, even when it’s externally justified – Soulless!Sam, blood addiction – and Soulless!Sam acted much like Dean, though still not as extreme, he gets bashed as a freak and an abomination.
But when Sam is good: empathetic, caring, and decent, which is most of the time, fans say, "That’s because he was raised by Dean, not John. That’s Dean’s parenting."
So it becomes:
Dean is bad → Not his fault, the environment made him that way. (And actually, he’s not really bad, he’s just misunderstood)
Dean is good → That’s just who he is.
Sam is bad → Entirely his own fault.
Sam is good → Only because of Dean’s parenting and sacrifices. It’s Dean’s accomplishment.
It doesn’t make sense. Sam was also raised in that abusive environment. We see John get physical with Sam. He is just as much John’s son.
Reminder: Sam’s kindness wasn’t shaped by outside influences or given to him. It was a choice he made despite his upbringing, despite the harshness of everything he knew. He has no one to thank for that goodness but himself.
