#im suyi

[mevekagvain]

Noblessetober Day 13

The girls having a sleepover <3 Suyi is a massive backseat gamer and Yuna's used to it while Seira's seeing a new side of her friend.

[darkicedragon]

Fic: Undercover

Fandom: Noblesse Summary:  Tao finds a new hidden Union lab and they need to infiltrate it. Going undercover should be easy, and it'll be easier when dresses are involved. Tao just has to make it first... Notes: Written for @hellse-bunny . <3 I guess set before season 7, or just an au of canon. Rating: G Genre: General Word count: 2,112 Status: Complete

"It's pretty suspicious," Tao said, displaying the relevant windows he wanted to point out. Going in and out of Union fronts over the years helped him to identify all the little tells surrounding the office: the foot traffic was off, with too many people going in than the building could hold for a start. The Union preferred buildings that had a large base so they could build down without bumping with neighbouring spaces. Tao had found the building in the Union database: it had been listed as 'abandoned' (aka, a modified human had broke free and massacred everyone in sight) for years now. Except it was back in operation again as if nothing had happened, reports coming from the building again. With too much consistency. At a glance, it looked like the building was doing research, but go back far enough revealed it was the same meetings, the same research, the same reports over and over again. Something wasn't adding up. "You want us to check it out?" Takeo said, leaning on the back of Tao's chair. Tao nodded. He could access the office's security system, but that only told him so much when it wasn't connected to the lab underneath."But how to get in..." He clicked around and there were a couple of decently sized meeting halls that were also rented out for large gatherings. One of which was due in two days. And while the name looked official, a quick search brought up an organisation that was based on another continent that had no reason or connections being here. Very suspicious. He grinned. "Bingo." It didn't take long to fudge the guest list. Tao frowned over some of the names. Because of how Official the guest list was, it also listed what their occupation was. Now why were some KSA members on the list...? "Sooo, we've got two tickets now," Tao said, leaning back as he stretched. "So that means us two?" M-21 said with a snort. "Well, I'm not gonna ask Regis or Seira-yang to do undercover work!" Tao said, swatting M-21's arm. They had school and homework to do. And being nobles, they turned heads wherever they went and that was the exact opposite of being undercover was. Not unless one of them was the bait while the other snuck around. Which left out Raizel-nim too. Boss was busy trying to run the school, so that left the three of them to do this. "Fine." M-21 looked over at Takeo. "Are we just looking like this? If someone recognises you..." "Heh, undercover means we gotta be undercover." Sure, they were modified for large scale attacks, but they could do some subterfuge too. They'd basically been doing the same at the school. "Our records have been wiped clean anyway," Tao added, "so the only way anyone would recognise us would be if they'd already seen us in the Union." Which was pretty slim, with how huge the organisation was. "On the other hand, if we're recognised because of our connection to the school..." That was different. He tilted his head back to study Takeo. Long hair, framing a face with full lips and while Takeo didn't have an hourglass shape, well. That could be adjusted with clothing. They couldn't cut Takeo's hair, and couldn't stuff it into a wig either. Dying was out of the question too, so... "We are fairly recognisable," Takeo agreed. "How do you feel about dresses?" Tao asked, watching him. Takeo blinked. "What do you mean?" "Wearing one." Takeo stared at him, and then sighed. "For the mission?" "For the mission." In a bright dress that was as far away from their security uniform as possible. Takeo didn't hesitated, nodding. "All right." Tao punched the air. "Yesss! We don't have much time so let's get going!" * * * Dressmaking was about the same and different from what Tao expected. He'd adjusted their suits before, and he'd made some outfits, but this was... He'd had fun with his designs, and they were mostly for how they functioned; this was more about how it looked and people were going to be seeing it up close, so it needed to be perfect. Ordering it online ran the risk of it being late, or the wrong size. Buying it in person would take too long, and there was far too much choice with that. Tao sighed at the rolls of fabric around him. He'd thought buying it in person would take too long, but really, making it from scratch was taking a while, and that was with the help of his cables. Takeo and M-21 had left to get more supplies and Tao had commandeered a corner of the living room to make the dress - it had more natural lighting than the lab, and it was less work to carry things through. He'd lined out his corner with his cables too, to make sure he didn't spread himself out without realising it but... Hm. There was still a lot to do. He had the base shape down, but he wasn't satisfied with it. He knew from making the suits that what fitted on the mannequin didn't always transfer to how well it fit or how easy it was to move in, especially with the arms. With this mission, he definitely needed to make sure Takeo could move well, in case something went wrong, because knowing their luck, something would. It had to be perfect. "Is something wrong?" Tao span around, and let out a small laugh at seeing Raizel-nim standing by the sofa. "Hey, Raizel-nim, didn't hear ya come in!" Though it would have been a surprise if he did hear Raizel-nim. "And, eh, kinda." He shrugged. "Not enough hours in the day and all that, heh." Raizel-nim looked over everything Tao had done so far before his gaze settled on Tao again. "Can I help?" It would be nice if Raizel-nim could just change the dress into what Tao wanted, but Tao didn't know what he wanted the dress to be yet. "Unless you could-" Tao froze, looking Raizel-nim up and down. "You're about the same height as Takeo, aren't you?" Raizel-nim nodded. Tao sucked in a breath, grinning. "Then you're exactly what I need right now!" He gestured Raizel-nim towards where the mannequin was as he yanked the dress off it. Raizel-nim wasn't quite as broad-shouldered as Takeo, but it was much closer than what he currently had to work with, and Raizel-nim would be able to tell him if something didn't fit right! "Just lemme know if I accidentally stab you, okay?" Tao said as Raizel-nim stood next to the mannequin. Okay, okay, he could do this. He just had to focus now and he'd get it done. * * * Tao twitched at the doorbell, his head snapping to it. "Ooh, they back already?" Tao said, calling back his cables as he dashed for the door. He could have kept them in place, but he was feeling the start of headache building up from keeping them out and controlling multiple of them all at once. If Takeo and M-21 couldn't open the door, they must have bought a bunch of- Tao flung open the door and stared. "Thanks, Hyung!" Ik-han said as he came in, Shinwoo hot on his heels, carrying bags filled with bright coloured packets and game boxes. Wait. Wait wait wait. If he let them in, they were going to see- The kids didn't push past Tao more than Tao just stood there, trying to switch gears from preparing for a mission to looking after civilians. "Hey-" Modified strength and speed was useless when he couldn't use it, and he couldn't use his cables to hold them still either. "Rai?" Tao heard Shinwoo splutter. "Oooh, you look great!" Yuna's exclamation followed soon after. "Is Tao doing this?" "Yes," Raizel-nim answered. Oh. Okay. The kids seemed okay with it, but he still needed to think of a reason for why he was doing this that didn't mention the real reason. Tao closed the front door, and when he came through to the living room, the kids were inspecting his work. "Sooo, what do ya think?" Tao said. If the kids were here, that was going to eat into a bunch of his time, but he couldn't just pack up everything to work elsewhere. Well, he could but- "You should have told us you were doing this, Hyung!" Ik-han said, pulling out his laptop. Suyi laughed behind her hand. "If we had, we would have come a lot sooner." Err, that was kinda the exact problem... Yuna was still looking over Rai, and Tao watched her as she made a few adjustments to where put some of the pins. "What kind of dress are you thinking of, Hyung?" Ik-han said, fingers coasting over the keyboard. "We'll design it together!" Tao stared, looking between all the kids. Shinwoo was had finished setting all the snacks on the table and was looking over all the fabric in the corner. They all looked like they'd done this before. "I...guess I should mention the dress is for Takeo?" Tao said, and maybe he was out of it from trying to make the dress for so long already, but if the kids had expertise, then he wasn't going to turn it down. "That's why it doesn't fit Raizel-nim perfectly." "That makes sense," Suyi said, eyeing the dress. She clapped her hands, grinning. "That means we can make a dress for Rai too!" Oooh, that was going to be fun. Tao could already feel some ideas forming, but that would be for after the dust had settled on their current project. * * * "Eeeh," Tao said, wide-eyed as Suyi held up some fabric against Raizel-nim, "you used to do this all the time?" Yuna nodded. "We used to design Suyi's outfits when she was starting out as an idol." She smiled as she worked on her part of the dress. "It was one of the ways we could spend time together in between all her practice sessions." "That's amazing!" He could learn a lot from them. Tao heard the front door open, and grinned when Takeo and M-21 appeared with some very full bags in hand. "Yooo! Go put the shopping in my room." He didn't think the kids would peek, but better to be safe. "Great, we can see how this fits now!" Takeo shoved his bags into M-21's arms as the kids descended upon him. * * * "Whew!" Tao flopped back onto the sofa, his muscles wanting to just melt right into the fabric. "That was hectic." Especially with the deadline looming, but with the kids, they got through a lot more than Tao thought they would. The dress wasn't quite finished, still needing more places touched up, but it was way closer than it had been Tao had started. Hmmm. Tao tapped his knuckles against the sofa. "Do you think the kids'll know how to do make-up?" Nail polish he could do easily; make-up wasn't something he'd touched as much, aside from mascara. "I'd assume so," M-21 said. Tao nodded. "I'll ask next time." But first, a nap would be really nice. * * * "It's nice seeing it from this view," Suyi said as Shinwoo did Takeo's make-up. "I think I should have been taking notes!" Tao said, and maybe he would, once this was all over. "Thanks a lot for all this - there's no way Takeo would have looked as amazing as this without you." "Done!" Shinwoo said, leaning back. He grinned at his handiwork and then stood up. "Hey, how's Rai doing?" he asked as he walked over to where Raizel-nim was getting fussed over. Great! While the kids were busy with Raizel-nim, they could slip out and get to the conference in time. Tao palmed an earpiece to Takeo and M-21 as they left, Tao heading downstairs. For Takeo's hair, it was in a loose braid that helped to cover up the pierce. Tao closed his eyes as he slipped the headset on, hearing Takeo and M-21's earpieces connect. "Good luck, guys," he said, watching them leave on the monitors, already pulling up the path they'd be taking, and the CCTV footage of the conference room. People were already starting to file in, but it would be a while yet until it was full. "We won't need it with you watching over us," M-21 said. "Heh." Tao grinned, settling into his chair. That was the confidence they needed. Time to get this done. 

_____ There's a prologue to this that involves a transformed and instinctual M-21 being accidentally taken to the vet, and a part after this that involves Rajak also needing to wear a dress undercover, but it's very unlikely that I'll be writing them, haha.

[he-is-noblesse]

I am loving Crunchyroll Orginals: Noblesse

But I must say that there are a few things that are bugging me to no end:

Where the heck is Yuna...?

She was in the Noblesse Awakening OVA, but she’s not in the Crunchyroll Orginal Noblesse anime????? Sure Seo Yuna and Im Suyi aren’t the most important characters in the Webtoon, but they are part of the orginal high school kids group! They got in trouble with Shinwoo and Ik-Han all the time! She is Shinwoo’s love interest without them over complecating the genre. (Can I just say I love how romance is only ever hinted in the Webtoon) And yeah...Yuna had an odd crush on M-21, but I’d rather that be missing than Yuna and Suyi missing all together. I know it’s only a couple of episodes in, but it seems as if the two won’t be characters at all :(

Japan, not South Korea.

I guess I get it...? Like it’s an anime so set it in Japan. Like the setting isn’t making a huge difference to the anime (except are they gonna call the KSA the JSA when they get involved??). The OVA was still set in Korea, I don’t see why the setting had to change from Korea to Japan. It’s not like it’s unheard of to have an anime that isn’t set in Japan. Or would it have been insulting to Japan or South Korea if the Japanese anime of Noblesse (a manhwa) was set in South Korea?? 🤔 This issue also includes the name changes for Ik-Han and Shinwoo. I still can’t remember their now Japanese names.

Regis...

Regis K. Landegre.

You are too tiny to have such a deep voice. When I would read the Webtoon, I’d have a specific voice in my head for each character. For me, Ik-Han especially had a specific voice because I’d imagine his voice to be kinda cute and scratchy. Of course, these voices are in English for me. As for Regis, I’d imagine that since he spoke with such sophistication, his voice would be smooth and then rasp up a bit when he’d lose his cool bickering with M-21. I still cannot get used to Regis’s voice. Not that the VA is bad or is doing a bad job, I just feel like it doesn’t match Regis as a character or body build.

Please let me know if I may have perceived something wrong or if Crunchyroll ever said anything about the stuff I said above lol, I do enjoy the anime very much, but so far from the 4 episodes that I’ve seen, those three things above have been the most bugging issues I’ve had with the anime.

[lolipoppoppop]

Noblesse characters' evolutions from 2008 to 2017

[mevekagvain]

[mevekagvain]

Could you please write Yuna and Suyi having a date? They went to an Amusement Park, but it suddenly starts raining.

Characters: Im Suyi, Seo Yuna

Pairing: Suyi/Yuna

AU: KH Crossover (implied), sequel to Say my name

Can be read as a stand alone fic; prior knowledge unnecessary.

.

Nervously watching her sisters fawning over Suyi, Yuna reassures her parents that she'll be back home before her curfew. They've been more worried ever since Seoul had become chaotic (more than it had already been. before the horrors had been knowable, man-made. now it was unimaginable, though still man-made) but she's just hoping they don't catch on to who Suyi is. That is, in relation to her.

They already know she's an idol; it's why her sisters are so fond of her. Rather she doesn't want them to find out she's her girlfriend. It's already been two years by now and they haven't but Yuna still fears the worst. It'd be easier if her brother was here, he knows about them, but he's busy studying overseas and he can only reassure her through a screen on their calls every other day.

Suyi's eyes meet hers as she smoothes out the wrinkles in her hand-me-down shirt and she winks at her. Then she pulls away from her sisters and stands up-

"We should get going now. I don't want to get to the park after it closes," Suyi jokes, making the dread that was collecting in her stomach disappear.

Her sisters complain but it's not serious and they wave the two off, though Yuna hugs them and her parents before they're out the door. Immediately, Suyi hides her face and hair under a pair of subdued sunglasses and a wide brimmed hat, and then she takes her hand in hers, grinning.

Yuna smiles back, and asks, "Are we going by bus or train?"

"Train. Less of a walk after we get off that way," Suyi replies, "Plus, we won't have to switch at all."

With one last check to make sure her wallet and phone are in her pockets; they make their way to the amusement park. The subway is crowded and uncomfortable as usual, but they get there fine and are inside pretty quick after getting their tickets.

"So... what do you want to ride first?" Yuna asks with the park's map open in her hands. There's a lot of places to choose from, so many it's impossible to go to them all in a single day, and she's struggling to figure out where to start.

Suyi wraps her arms around Yuna's waist as she looks over her shoulder at the map- "We're pretty close to some of the faster rides so why don't we start there? Better now than after we eat."

"I didn't think you'd be the type to throw up after eating."

After all, Suyi's work is strenuous. Though Yuna did worry that she didn't eat enough so maybe that was why. How could she throw up if there wasn't anything in her stomach?

"I'm not but hey, better safe than sorry. Have you been on a rollercoaster since middle school?"

So that's what she'd meant- "No. I thought maybe we could come with Rai since he hadn't been to an amusement park before but..." he had ended up going with everyone he was staying with instead.

"See?" Suyi says smugly and Yuna giggles.

They end up going on more than a few of the rides that her parents would never touch and she hopes nobody remembers the way she screamed at the sudden drops. Aside from Suyi of course. As she teases Yuna about the way she clung to her, she flinches with a start and looks up at the sky.

Yuna's about to ask her what's wrong when a cold drop of water lands on her head- "Oh!"

"It's raining," Suyi states with a frown.

"Do you want to go get your hat?" she asks, concerned.

Suyi had stashed it in a locker with her sunglasses and bag after they'd realised it wouldn't be good on the rides. She had tied her hair up in a bun as well, though Yuna already has had hers in a braid from the start. It'd be weird to have it open in an amusement park.

"No," Suyi says, shaking her head, "There's still plenty of rides it won't be good for and it looks like it's going to rain heavily. The hat's useless for that."

Yuna pulls them both under some shade as they talk because Suyi's right. It does seem like there will be a storm. The rain is already turning from a drizzle to a downpour though it's barely been a minute since it started.

"Let's go inside then? I'm pretty sure there's a big covered section too."

"Where?"

Taking out the map from her pocket, they figure out which way to go and hurry, ducking under as many shaded areas as they can. They're still a little wet when they make it but it's better than being fully soaked.

Suyi still sighs, "Honestly, if I knew it was going to rain I'd have gone to a water park instead. It's so crowded now too."

"Everyone's either leaving or coming here," Yuna says, then giggles, "but maybe next time? A water park sounds nice."

"Next time," Suyi promises, determined, and she can feel her cheeks heating up.

Pointing at a nearby ride to distract from it, Yuna grabs Suyi's hand with her free one- "Why don't we go there now? It seems fun."

There's a surprising number of rides in the area that they can go on, and they even brave the rain to find the theatre where plays and performances are held. It's nearby but afterwards they end up crossing nearly half the park to get to the spookier attractions, including a haunted house that has Yuna crying and squeezing her eyes shut the entire time as she clings to Suyi. The gloomy grey of the sky seems like sunshine and is still much more welcome compared to the dark eeriness they just experienced and she keeps as much as a distance as she can from the entrance of the haunted house once they're out.

Suyi's comfort has her calming down though, and they decide to go eat since it's been a while since they arrived. Halfway through, with a mouthful of pancake and a fluffy black stuffed cat with gleaming red eyes that Suyi won for her to make her forget about the haunted house in her lap, Yuna's finally feeling fine. Food really is amazing, she decides, her eldest sister hadn't been exaggerating when she said it could solve any emotional problem after all.

Continuing to decimate her pancakes - Suyi seeming equally pleased with her meat dish - Yuna's hand stills when she spots someone familiar. She can see Suyi looking at her with concern from the side, probably about to ask her why she stopped eating, but she speaks before she can.

"Is that Rael-oppa? And his brother too."

There's no way it's anybody else. Rai and the other nobles from Lukedonia are all extremely beautiful. Plus, even if she could mistake genuine blond hair for dyed hair, Rajak's prosthetic makes it impossible to miss him.

"It is!" Suyi exclaims, "I guess they decided to have some bonding time too, today. Tough luck picking a rainy day though."

Yuna giggles, "Seira did say Rael-oppa has horrible luck. Maybe that's why it rained today."

"They should have come another day. He ruined our date," Suyi says with a snort and goes back to her food.

That only makes Yuna giggle more. Of course she knows Suyi is joking since their date is going great and because she doesn't believe in superstitious things like that, but it is funny. Especially when she's the one saying it.

The rest of their meal goes without any interruptions and she insists on paying when they get their bill. Especially since-

"You paid last month at that fancy restaurant. I can't let you pay this time."

Suyi looks like she's about to argue but then she grins and leans in to whisper, "Sure. I'll take it as your White day present."

Flushed red, Yuna manages to make it through paying without stuttering even as Suyi watches her the entire time, head propped up with a hand as she smirks. She hadn't even realised it was White day, and she wishes she had because maybe then she wouldn't be such an easy target for teasing.

Yuna forgets about her embarrassment and makes a face once they're out of the restaurant though- "It's still raining, and it's getting dark too."

"It's only drizzling now," Suyi says, "When did you have to get home?"

Hesitating, she checks her phone for the time- "There's still about two hours."

Suyi hums in response and takes out the map from her bag since they'd gotten her things from the locker before eating. After a quick glance at it, she stuffs it back in and takes her hand.

"Where are we going?" Yuna asks as she goes along with Suyi.

"Ferris wheel! Can't have a date without it, right?"

She giggles, "Right-" and wonders if she's glad that Suyi can't see her blushing or disappointed that one of them isn't dramatically afraid of heights like in every romance scene ever.

It's probably better that they aren't though, she decides when they're finally through the lines and inside one of the pods. They wouldn't be able to enjoy the view of the lit-up park in the dark otherwise, and even the rain's finally let up, making the reflected lights glisten everywhere in a way that's even more beautiful than it would have been ordinarily.

"Isn't it amazing?" Suyi asks.

Yuna nods, squeezing her hand, not having let go since Suyi had taken it- "It is."

She sits closer to her and leans her head on her shoulder with a satisfied smile. It's relaxing and Yuna almost thinks she can fall asleep when a loud noise interrupts the peace as they reach the top.

"What was-" her eyes widen at the bright colours exploding in the night sky and she smiles brightly- "Fireworks!"

Suyi laughed, "I knew you'd forget about them. Aren't I the best?"

"You are. Suyi, I-" Yuna cuts herself off as she stares at her, hesitating, then smiles gently and cups her cheek, still holding her hand. "Suyi," she says again, softer this time.

Suyi just smiles as she leans in- "I love you too, Yuna-" and kisses her.

[clanoffelidae]

Sure On This Shining Night

Frankenstein & Suyi Hurt/Comfort

Suyi's family isn't around for the winter holidays, so she's invited to spend them with the household so she's not alone. Despite this, she still feels alone, feels like an intruder in their lives, and has to wonder if it's really any different from being in the empty house she legally calls home. Neither feels like it.

But she starts to realize that in the end, that doesn't much matter.

It was cold. Of course it was, it was winter. Winter was meant to be cold; if it wasn’t, then something was truly wrong with the world. Cold and winter were practically conceptual synonyms. One was an adjective and one was a noun, but when one thought of cold they often thought of winter, and when one thought of winter they often thought of cold. Night was also colder than day. The sun gave warmth, so when the sun went away, so too went the warmth. It was a winter night, of course it was cold.

Still, knowing that the cold was both seasonally and temporally appropriate didn’t exactly do much to stop the chill from nipping at Suyi’s fingers and leaving them tingling from the weather’s bitter bite. She gathered her hands to her lips, breathing on them in an attempt to warm them up. She rubbed them together, knotting them up between themselves and cradling them close as if the tight grip would prevent whatever temporary warmth her breath had given them from escaping to the atmosphere. It didn’t, but holding them close to her chest gave her some feeling of security, so she did it anyway.

She looked up at the sky. Her breath escaped her softly parted lips as plumes of mist in the frigid air. It was cold, but at least the sky was clear. The twinkling heavens looked down on the sleeping city below. The moon was the brightest of all, her glow brilliantly luminous but gentle all the same. Yet even closer than she was the occasional shooting star: a meteor caught in the pull of Earth’s gravity plummeting through the skies in a blazing flash of light, keeping the moon company in the thousands of miles betwixt her and the human race. The moon’s court was kept by the shining planets of the solar system, Uranus and Neptune currently gleaming in the night sky. Beyond that the stars spread out into the darkness as little pinpricks of light. Pinpricks whose arrangement from the Earth’s perspective was beheld by human eyes and organized by human minds into pictures and stories, the very souls of men painted onto glimmering dots that burned so very brightly so very far away. The glowing nebulae of the milky way were only just visible beyond the light pollution as faint colors of vivid hues in the black. Beyond that were galaxies even further still, whole cosmoses compressed into singular points for their great distance from mankind’s perspective, sprawling out into the endless universe on and on and on forevermore.

She felt so very small beneath the infinite of reality.

She stood on the balcony of the Chairman’s house late at night. Her parents were gone for the holidays, leaving her house empty, save for her. It didn’t feel like home with its echoing halls. Sure, it was a place to rest her head, and it wasn’t as if she was lacking anything, but it was lonely. Loneliness didn’t quite feel like home to her.

She had dreaded every day she went back to those empty halls and nothing but a voice message on her phone from a missed call in the middle of the day, the empty words of well wishes nothing like the warmth of her mothers hug. It had been Rai, of course it had been Rai, who had noticed the melancholy that had overtaken her. It had seemed like only moments later the Chairman had pulled her aside and quietly asked if she would like to stay with them for the winter holidays.

She had immediately said it wasn’t necessary but her heart wasn’t in the refusal. She had wanted to say yes and it had shown. It had only taken a moment’s more of insistence on his part and she had been all too eager to agree. This way she wouldn’t be alone.

But she still felt lonely.

This wasn’t her family. This wasn’t her home.

All the warm voices, excited laughter, exasperated looks. It was familiar, it was friendly; but she still felt like an intruder, an outsider. They welcomed her into their lives but she was just a guest, someone who would leave at the end of the day and leave them to themselves. Just because she slept here for the night didn’t make it home.

That didn’t mean she wanted to go back to the place that was legally listed as her home either, not when it was so very silent and so very empty. So she found some sort of strange compromise. Here on the balcony she was in a liminal space, both within the household and outside of it, both a part of their lives and not. It seemed like the only place she really belonged right now. And wasn’t that a funny thought? Such a small little girl in such a vast universe, less than the most insignificant of specks on the wider scale, and the only place she could call a home right now hung in a liminal balance and wasn’t really any place at all.

Ha.

The balcony door creaked and footsteps signaled that she was no longer alone.

Suyi turned, blinking as the Chairman gently shut the door behind him. He probably didn't want the heat to escape. (Tao would never let them hear the end of it, surely.)

He was holding two mugs. She hastened to accept one when it was proffered so as to relieve him of his burden.

It was filled with a hot drink, wisps of steam escaping to the cold. The heat brought life back to her nearly numb fingers in a way that stung and relieved in the same breath. Hot chocolate, by the looks of things. Little marshmallows floated in the sweet brown. They bobbed like sweet little boats on the sea. (If boats looked like small, white cylinders. Submarines?)

The Chairman said nothing, only leaning forward to rest his elbows on the balcony next to her, lifting his own mug to his lips as he looked up at the sky. Dark red ceramic, almost burgundy in shade, gleamed in the moonlight, polished to a shine. He took a slow sip before lowering the mug to cradle it with both his hands. Suyi curiously glanced inside. Mulled cider. To be fair, hot chocolate didn’t really seem his style, but she would have expected tea. (She supposed tea wasn’t the most festivity appropriate drink for the winter holidays.) She knew he had a liquor cabinet, it was in the middle of the living room, but seeing him actually drink alcohol was still strange. Perhaps a sip of wine or champagne at a social event but an alcoholic drink in his own downtime didn’t seem to fit his image.

Still, he was his own person outside of any image or persona, and an adult no less, he could have a drink in the evening if he so well pleased. She turned her attention to her own drink. She lifted it for a sip, making a quietly pleased noise when it hit her tongue. It was sweet and chocolate, as she would have logically expected, but it was the spices within that were the pleasant surprise. Cinnamon, vanilla, nutmeg, and cloves; perhaps a hint of some spice she couldn’t identify that left a heat in her mouth as she swallowed. Not enough of it to burn but just enough to make the warmth of the drink linger longer than it would have by temperature alone.

She slowly lowered it, looking over to see the Chairman had turned to watch her. His smile was soft.

“Do you like it?”

She looked back down at the hot chocolate. Some of the marshmallows had been all but covered in chocolate by the lifting and tilting of the mug. They still bobbed happily but their white was nearly lost beneath the sweet, earthy brown.

“Yeah.”

The Chairman’s smile brightened.

“I’m glad.”

He took another drink of his own, turning his attention back to the stars as he did so. Suyi did the same.

They stood quietly as a dreamlike peace settled between them. The night was cold and their drinks were hot, filling their bellies. A few clouds had begun to drift by overhead. Their breaths disappeared as soon as they escaped their lips, quick wisps of silvery condensation taken by the cold as if they had never existed at all. This moment of peace seemed everlasting, but fragile, as if the slightest disturbance to the tranquility and rhythm might shatter it completely. It felt surreal but with an inevitable fragility. The dream would break, there was no question about it.

But… perhaps not. Perhaps it wouldn’t break, but drift away like steam, like their very breaths. Perhaps it would dissolve like color in water, like sugar in tea, disseminating its parts into the whole until it had become an immutable part of the newly made whole, a permanent mark of this moment forever in their lives. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Perhaps was a funny word.

Perhaps and maybe, and perchance, and possibly. So many words for so many possibilities. Like that cat, right? The one in the box? Uncertainty in the now because the future was not yet decided, full of endless possibilities.

Perhaps her parents might come home for the holidays for once. Perhaps one day she could wake up to a quiet, sleepy morning with a warm breakfast before she left for work. Perhaps one day she could be a student in a university, not constantly jetting off to some performance or interview or photoshoot or contract discussion. Perhaps she could just have a quiet few weeks where the biggest of her worries was whether a crush liked her back or not and not whether or not she was being followed after a concert that ended at 4 in the morning. Perhaps one day she could just rest in a place she felt safe and called home. So many possibilities.

Yet they always seemed just out of reach. Doomed to nothing more than a ‘perhaps’.

She was fortunate to have the life she did, she knew that. She had no worries about ever making ends meet. But sometimes she just wished she could have a say in that life, just once.

She looked down at her drink, the dreamy peace both comforting and trapping. Like the sweet, saccharine touch of a lie. She was an intruder here, her fate was set elsewhere. This wasn’t her home. This peace was not allowed to her.

The soft rustle of clothes beside her drew her attention back up to the Chairman. He had turned, now leaning his back against the railing instead. He was watching her as he sipped his drink. His voice was quiet, blending so well into the peace that it didn’t break the dream that had settled over them and instead became a perfect part of the whole.

“What’s wrong, Miss Suyi?”

Suyi shrugged, idly swirling the hot chocolate in her hands before taking another drink. The sweetness seemed cloying in her choked up throat. It was just something to do.

The Chairman sighed quietly at the non-response. He let the quiet resume and for a moment Suyi hoped he might just let the topic go.

Footsteps. She looked up when the heat of his body became tangible next to her. He was not touching her, but only just. Just the slightest movement and she could lean into him if she so wished.

His voice was even softer, a whisper, as if he was fading into the background of the dream.

“What’s wrong?”

He sounded so gentle.

Her drink was cooling.

She took another sip as she shrugged again, giving a verbal response afterwards in the hopes he might let it go.

“Just a bit lonely, I guess.”

He made a quiet sound of sympathy. Despite that, his voice was light when he spoke, carrying a gentle humor no matter the cold night.

“Being outside all alone in the middle of the night is a rather lonely experience.”

He sounded like he spoke from experience. His smile gained a wry twist.

“Especially when it's this cold.”

He shivered for effect. Suyi gave a half-hearted smile at his attempt. It slipped away like the dream was bound to one day do. (One day she’d be forgotten about, slipping away in the morning light, when reality finally woke up…)

There was a pause.

(Maybe then she could finally sleep.)

“You can come inside, you know.”

She looked down again. He continued.

“You don’t have to feel like you’re intruding, Miss Suyi. We wouldn’t have welcomed you if we had any issue with you choosing to stay.”

He touched her for the first time since he joined her out here, nudging her shoulder with his. He didn’t say anything else. She would speak in her own time. When she did, her voice was quiet. She hoped it would drift away and find a home among the stars. Then at least some part of her would have one.

“Why are we here?”

The Chairman chuckled quietly.

“The question of the ages.”

She kept speaking.

“Where are we going? What’s the point? Do we even get a say or are we just being drug along for the ride? Do we even have a place here or are we just stumbling along?”

She spoke until the words ran dry. Fears of loneliness, powerlessness, inevitability. She talked and talked and talked until her drink had long gone cold and her hands were so numb they seemed to be permanent fixtures of the cup itself. The Chairman didn’t say anything. He only listened. She spoke until clouds covered the moon and Neptune had long since set, until the sounds from inside the house had fallen to silence, until her voice was rough from cold.

She finally stopped when her shoulders were weighed down with exhaustion. She sagged tiredly, leaning against the Chairman for support, and he easily switched his drink to one hand as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to keep her upright. She could faintly hear the beating of his heart which thrummed against her cheek.

His voice rumbled through him, felt more than heard at this distance.

“I don’t know.”

Whatever answer she had been expecting, it wasn’t that. She found the strength to look up. He smiled gently. His eyes seemed so old.

“I don’t know, and that’s okay. I don’t have to know. I don’t think it’s my job to know. I can tell you what else I think, but it’s only my best guess.”

Frankenstein smiled.

“My best guesses have had pretty good track records, though.”

Suyi nodded. He rubbed her shoulder for a moment, tucking her in closer. He was so warm in the cold of the night. She pressed her numb hands against him on instinct, trying to steal his warmth.

“I think… the point is only what we decide it to be.”

The clouds were soft and grey overhead.

“I don’t think there is a point. I don’t think there is any inherent meaning to our existence. No fate, no destiny, just random chance that we’re here at all. But that’s okay because I don’t think that we have to have a point, I don’t think there has to be a meaning. We are, we exist, and anything after that is whatever we decide it to be. There are things we can do, purposes we can give ourselves and places in the world we can make our own, but there is no inherent meaning to our existence. And that’s okay. Do you know why?”

Suyi shook her head when it became clear he was waiting for a response.

Frankenstein tapped her nose with a finger.

“Because I don’t think there’s a meaning to anything else’s existence either.”

He looked up at the sky as if he could still see the stars through the cover. She looked up with him. All she could see was grey.

“Do you think the stars are beautiful, Suyi?”

Her voice was quiet, rough.

“Yeah.”

“Why? They’re meaningless. There are 200 billion trillion of them. The stars aren’t special at all. They’re meaningless, all they do is burn in the cold of space. They don’t have a purpose, a reason to be. They’re not all working towards some grand goal. They don’t mean anything at all.”

He looked back down at her, squeezing her gently to him.

“They have meaning because they mean something to you. Because you think they’re pretty and like to look at them. They weren’t born with meaning, but you gave them meaning of your own, and that’s all the meaning they need.”

Something hot stirred in her throat and behind her eyes.

“I don’t think you were born with any meaning at all. You’re right, what is the point? I don’t think there is one. We exist simply because we do. Because by random chance the universe came to be, and a planet came to be that could support life, and that life eventually led to us. It just happened with no real meaning behind it. That’s where we start and we make our way from there. We fight to keep going and carve out a place for ourselves not because we have a reason to, but because we have no reason not to. Because we want to.

And I think that’s meaning enough. We do as we will because it is our will, and there is no point to that will, just like there is no point to us. But it is, so we take that and go from there. And it’s okay that that will has no point, because it means there is nothing we have to hold ourselves to. We can be whatever we want to be. We can make our own meaning with every moment, whatever we choose it to be.”

He lifted his cold mug. He didn’t drink from it, only showed it to her.

“Right now, I think my meaning is to be here with a cold drink and to talk to someone who seems to need it very much. To keep this person company on a night when they seem to be so very lonely and confused. And I think that’s a perfectly good meaning to have, so that’s what it will be.”

His hand shifted, lifting to her head to gently stroke her hair. A single tear fell. It burned hot in the night.

“You are whatever you choose to be and you can make your life whatever you want it to be. There is no true purpose or place or people you have to hold yourself to if you don’t want to. Your place in the universe is whatever you decide, and your meaning for being there is whatever you choose. The only things in your life that matter are whatever you decide them to be.”

He looked back up at the sky.

“The clouds don’t matter if you don’t want them to. They don’t mean anything. The stars are still there beyond them.”

Snow began to fall. It dusted the ends of their hair before melting away to water. Gone in an instant. What good was its time if it vanished so fast? It didn’t mean anything.

But it mattered because Suyi thought it looked very pretty and that was meaning enough.

She sipped at her cold chocolate and made a wrinkled face at the new consistency. Frankenstein laughed.

Being able to make someone laugh was meaning enough.

Frankenstein kept his arm around her, gently ushering her towards the door.

“Come on. It’s freezing out here.”

She followed him inside, relieved to be out of the cold and happy to accept the cookie Rai offered her from where he still sat on the couch.

(‘What are you doing in here with all the lights off, Rai? Go to bed!’)

Maybe it wasn’t her home, maybe she didn’t even have one. But that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. And that was okay. That was good. Because if she didn’t matter, then any meaning she had was whatever she chose it to be.

It didn’t matter because she was happy here all the same. Because she had been welcomed here even if it wasn’t forever. Even if it was only for a moment, due to be erased one day. It didn’t matter at all. The future was undecided, all she had was the now, and she quite liked the now.

The stars were still shining somewhere beyond the clouds and the snow would sparkle in the morning sun.

She thought the world she lived in was very beautiful and that was meaning enough.

Sure on this shining night of star made shadows round

Kindness must watch for me this side the ground

On this shining night

This shining night

The late year lies down the north

All is healed

All is health

High summer holds the Earth

Hearts all whole

Sure on this shining night

I weep for wonder wandering far alone

Of shadows on the stars

Sure on this shining night of star made shadows round

Kindness must watch for me this side the ground

On this shining night

This shining night

Sure on this shining

Night

[mevekagvain]