#im transcending

[bug4u]

[mrraggedymvn]

listen to this hoe rn. RIGHT NOW. flib me im transcending. i need to smoke i need to smoke

[fukashiin]

IS. IS THATR. M M M M M M MMMMUUSCLE?????????? MUSCLE I SEE???????? M MUSCLE????????? IM GOINGM THROUGH THE WHOLE WATER CYCLE RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD ITS LIKE I DISCOVERED THE UNDISCOVERED MANIFESTED THE UNMANIFESTED IM SPIRALLING DEEP DOWN INTO JADEISM EVEN HARDER HAHHAHAHAAHAHAJSVAJBABEHDKW

[ozymoron]

that one part in a song with five names holy shit

[kitkatpancakestack]

Nothing recalibrates the system like listening to Florence and the Machine at max volume while lying on the floor

[learntokickflip]

As I sit down to meditate, I am totally serene. Many people take upwards of ten minutes to enter a meditative state, but I am there almost immediately. I burp, serenely.

I am at peace with myself, with the world. We are one. A fucking fly buzzes somewhere near me, but it does not interrupt my peace. Not for one instant.

In a transcendent state like this, I can access spaces far beyond a normal person. I can reach out and touch distant energies, far out places. Galaxies even. In my transcendence I do not even notice my underwear itching me like crazy. Right at the top of the crack where it’s just the worst.

A small adjustment and scratch in the corporeal world doesn’t distance me from my Buddha nature. Many in my situation might wonder, “does my finger now smell?” But I do not. I wipe it on the mat just in case.

When you are a high-level meditation master like myself, your relationship with time is altered. I can sit, stone-still, for hours, days if an assistant doesn’t ring the singing bowl. My mind is also still, exploring the varied intricacies of nothingness. I’m sure it sounds like a paradox to you.

But to me: no. It’s a privilege to have access to such wonders of the mind most will never experience. Like my over 15,000 Twitter followers. I’ve received two buzzes in this time alone. I’d bet it’s two more followers. But I am not prideful.

I end this meditation to check for sure, and I do subtly smell my finger. All clear. Total clarity.

[extremelysmallclown]

i made gumbo and it fucks so hard it fucks into the next century

[gideonthe9]

i’m losing my mind