#imagine the nulls ...

[izzyovercoffee]

so it looks like ... Prudii ... in the soft modern au ...

...

...... is a very successful wedding planner

[izzyovercoffee]

Prudii is a misfit. The indelibly charming kind.

He’s the well-dressed but only clean-shaven when he’s too far gone past the stubble stage. Fact is, he has an aesthetic to maintain, and it’s the kind of aesthetic that just would not be improved by a beard---no matter how well shaped it is. 

(And, anyway, that’s A’den’s realm this season. Far be it from him to encroach his brother’s kingdom.)

He can make a mess and get away with it (but not in the way Mereel does, with easy words and an easier smile. No, Prudii gets away with it, because it’s always deserved---even when it’s not. A man like Prudii leaves no room for error, and a man like Prudii is incalculably correct, always, as a matter of fact, and no one would ever, should ever, think to question him---if he does his job right).

That doesn’t stop some from trying, but alas.

Prudii’s the kind of man who, if looked in the eye, will catch anyone under the weight of his intensity. Not just because he’s intense---though all Nulls are, as a rule, and that should go without saying---but because he sees people as they are, the person, specifically, in who they are. 

Them, in that moment, with all the layers of built-up facade peeled away.

As if he can see beneath the surface, as if he knows things he shouldn’t, just from a look---just from his focus, from his attention.

(Although it serves to note that all the Nulls do this, though they can turn it “off / on” at will. It just seems like Prudii, and Jaing, don’t ever seem want to turn it off. But who can blame them?)

There’s no sense lying to someone so sharp---he’ll know, anyway, somehow, and won’t say a thing. Just hold it in memory, keep it in mind, pore over it indefinitely, and anyone can bet their shebs he’ll come back to it in the future.

He’d make a smart person uneasy, if only he wasn’t so charming.

[izzyovercoffee]

but I just want you to picture, for a moment, very broad, very built Prudii sitting on a couch, with a very petite person straddling his lap, gently patting both his cheeks with both hands, patting the stubble that’s grown there, and whispering, “You need a shave.”

and Prudii finding this very, very funny, but entirely unwilling to move away from this so-called abuse. he endures the gentle slapping for several long minutes, then: “So, I’ll shave.”

“No, you can’t,” they whisper back, seriously. “It suits you.”

and Prudii just, dead silent, taking in this turn of events

before curling his head back

and laughs

[izzyovercoffee]

On a lighter note, though, Prudii's the type who loves ice cream. Prefers cold beverages, iced caf especially. His affection for the cold cream has extended to extra purchases---one carton for him, the other for his aliit to share.

In not so light matters, one might say he’s ... using ice cream as a substitute for less healthy coping mechanisms and/or abuses. There are far worse things than sweet treats, however, and so long as he doesn’t fall back to bad habits, no one sees any reason to bring it up.

If anyone asks, his favorite is all of them.

If he was actually being honest, it’s probably pistachio ice cream.

[izzyovercoffee]

imagine: the nulls as a group lazying around, wasting time, having a scheduled “off” day together (maybe plus another close person or two). maybe one of them is reading something, possibly intense, possibly horror.

something slow, and gradual, but builds on raw emotional horror and pulls on the vulnerability of a young child protagonist who cannot communicate the horror out loud, but tries what he can to protect his younger sibling. pulls on the pain and trauma that in no way resembles what they experienced … but in every way resembles exactly what they experienced.

imagine the one reading having to stop after one chapter in silence. the rest of them noting something, something off, something wrong.

and somehow this turns into them reading aloud to each other, sharing in this deeply personal, deeply painful experience, until they can’t continue — and so they pass on the book to the next one to continue reading.

and it goes on, until finally they reach the end. the conclusion. the payoff — a deeply disturbing end that builds off all the sacrifice of the entire novel up until that point, plucking all the tightly coiled chords that ring uncomfortably close to nightmares they hadn’t talked about and never revisited.

they close the book to burdened silence. someone is crying, quietly (and for once it isn’t Mereel). someone has a hand to his own brow. another a hand over his mouth. the last one to read closes the book and turns it over, places it face down on the ground and holds it there, as if he can lock away the bad memories between the pages as the floor.

no one mentions how uncomfortably close it treads, but they all know the others are thinking it — all different ways, maybe, but all the same, too.

it was supposed to be an easy day. it turned out to be pretty far from.

[izzyovercoffee]

sometimes I like to think about Mereel Skirata, and how he became a Master Manipulator and Incorrigible Flirt, and what he was like when he was still learning the ropes.

IDK if you’ve ever spent a good amount of times with teenagers in their incredibly growing stages, but everyone, and I mean everyone, has had an awkward stage. Some go through it faster, and some take a little longer to go through it. The clone troopers absolutely had to go through it twice as fast, but each of them probably on their own uh ... time, I guess. Some of them clearly didn’t finish growing --- but that’s the thing about growing and maturing: you’re not done once you hit your early 20s. 

Mereel, I maintain, was The Most Awkward. His idea of flirting must have first come from watching Kal’buir interact with other people, and seeing how he managed to charm some and seriously offend others. It wasn’t particularly good, and to be honest ... I don’t think Mereel would have ever really understood the concept of consent as I’ve broken down in some past meta if he only watched Kal’buir.

And the thing is: Mereel may come off as aggressive and incorrigible and a helpless flirt --- but Mereel recognizes boundaries to the point of going out of his way to find out what a person’s boundaries are and respect them, and never cross them. There’s this weird thing in fandom where they think he cannot accept no for an answer --- but Mereel is the only character we see who goes the Extra Mile to give people space to say no. More than once. 

And, honestly? He couldn’t have gotten that from Kal.

So ... how did he develop that? I suspect he must have developed this respect during his forays in learning how to flirt, how to charm, how to socialize while on Kamino --- and probably experimenting with how he talked to everyone, and taking to heart how people responded. 

Keep in mind, too, that Mereel’s chosen career is solo operator, aka spy. I have no doubt that whoever noticed his natural inclination to talking, charming, and adapting on the fly took him aside and really honed his natural abilities. Doing what he does: charming, flirting, manipulating? All of these things aren’t just superficial skills --- they’re literally tools for survival. If he wasn’t able to learn and adapt, and modify the way he talks to every specific person, he would not be able to survive. His life literally depends on it.

Mereel is hyper empathetic to other clone troopers. He loves all of his brothers, and he literally says that, explicitly, in no uncertain terms --- even the Alpha ARCs. Those are the exact words he uses. So... if he made one of them uncomfortable, you can be sure that he’d notice and take note --- and modify that behavior as necessary. 

Consider: Kal Skirata treated Ordo as a clear and obvious favorite, and that his behavior was noted in the books as a major influence in Mereel becoming more and more reckless to “edge out of Ordo’s shadow.” But that’s not the only way to garner attention --- and if Mereel couldn’t get the kind of attention he needed from Kal? Then he must have gotten it elsewhere, from other training sergeants, from other clones, maybe even from Kaminoans, too --- he has noted that he couldn’t empathize with any Kaminoans, but that also indicates that he tried.

But also consider: Mereel flirting with Training Sergeant Rav Bralor. Rav thinking he’s cute but if he does that one more time she’s gonna cut his gettse off. Mereel: terrified. Mereel: learns very quickly.

Mereel: Can you tell me what I did wrong, so I can fix it?

And Rav Bralor taking the time to explain to him where he fucked up. 

Imagine Mereel doing this with nearly every training sergeant on Kamino at some point --- or multiple points. Imagine Mereel really learning the ins and outs of courtesy over multiple different species. Imagine Mereel learning how to interact with everyone --- and that includes non-mandalorians, because there was a significant population of non-mandalorian trainers. 

Listen. The Nulls very lives are contingent on learning, learning quickly, embodying perfection and modifying any behavior that threatens that status --- and it’s a very unhealthy way of looking at things. But it’s also an ingrained response to trauma, and sometimes if you can’t work through the trauma response then you use it. Mereel’s skills just happened to express in this way, and he pushed to adapt and hone them by accident and then on purpose.

[izzyovercoffee]

I’ve talked about how I don’t think Prudii is the type to laugh, really. Chuckle maybe. Very lowkey in his expressions.

Fairly private in his way. They’ve all gotten used to Prudii and his toned down reactions — toned down intensity, because all the Nulls learn early they’re “too intense” and that’s a punishable offense.

Fast forward many years. The clan falls apart, as inevitable, and comes back together, as also inevitable. And movie nights start up again. And no one’s around that reminds Prudii of the bad days in that way, of punishable offenses for not being normal. For never being normal.

And safe enough is a concept he learned about from Mereel but never fully understood until that moment, that holo, when so into the story, so shocked by events, he actually let’s out a real, genuine, laugh.

And shocks the shit out of everyone who isn’t one of his Null brothers and has never actually heard Prudii laugh like that.

It’s the first step on a very, very long road of learning how to piece himself back together.

[izzyovercoffee]

I like to think Jaing and a Prudii have a secret handshake. Something not all that involved, fairly short, but not easily replicated.

Sometimes the secret handshake is more comforting than a hug. Or more tolerable than a hug, depending.