Info | Requested by @bleeding-fandom-heart
⁑ Warnings: None
Björn thinks is cute the way she seems to be always floating in dreams. And he likes to admire her talent and her art. Sometimes he even asked her to paint or sculpt something for his boats.
"A way to take you always with me wherever I go, love"
Ubbe laughs almost all the time with her playful way. Her childish innocence is what he likes the most about her.
"Your kindness is almost as sweet as the candy clouds you're walking in, babe"
Hvitserk thinks she's cute, funny sometimes. She always makes his day better no matter what he has been through.
"You're so sweet that I could bite you! *pretends to bite her cheek*"
Sigurd looks at her like a muse, a free spirit. Sometimes he can't follow her trail of thinking but the major part of the time, he likes to be near her and feel inspired.
"You make my soul free, love"
Ivar sees some geniality in her thinking and he already had good ideas with her delirious thoughts. But she usually is his refuge and the relief to his heavy days, since she seems to be always far away from that harsh reality he lives in.
"I wish the world was full of color as it is your mind, love."
The moodboard-goddess @flowers-in-your-hayr is such a talent. Thank you soo much!
a/n: To those who like BDSM, this is your chapter! The same as always, english is not my first language, so sorry for mistakes.
Pairing: ALEX x Reader x MARCO
Words: 2336
Spotify: Kiana Ledé & Jacquees - Only Fan
Warning: +18, NSFW, smut, soft BDSM, threesome
Summary:
You plunge into a new life. This courage makes you do far more than you thought.
Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III
Almost five months passed, and you haven't seen Alex yet. At first it was planned that he would come to visit you, but he had a few shoots and no time to make a stopover at your place. Ana has broken off contact with Marco and got back together with her ex-boyfriend. The distance has burdened her.
You got a unplanned spring break and decided to fly to Denmark and surprise Alex. You knew he would be home either the same day or the next day. In the worst case scenario, you would just sit in front of the front door and wait for him or Marco to come home.
You packed your things and took the train to the airport. Your flight was delayed, and you got to their home at almost 10pm. You stood in front of the door and didn't dare to ring the bell; your legs were shaking so badly that you could not stand up straight.
Alex opened the door and you hand him the food."Did someone order sushi?"
,,What?!!’’ Alex was stunned, his chin dropped.
,, Is this real? No way elskede, this can't be true!!''. You jumped at him and he almost fell over. He was overjoyed and couldn't stop kissing you.
"Maarco! Come here, see who's here!” Yelled Alex. Marco came out of the bathroom and only had his shorts on.
,, Heeej, what are you doing here?! You are crazy, girl. So good to see you'' He grinned and shook his head. You were surprised because he had no intention of hugging you. You saw someone get up from the sofa. A beautiful blonde looked at you with a smiling face.
,, Hi, I'm Clara''. Her short pants and crop top showed more of her body than you would have liked. You looked at Marco and he immediately felt uncomfortable.
“This is a good friend of Marco. And she's my girlfriend Y / N'' Alex pointed to you. You nodded to her and said ,,Hi’’ without any emotions. You wanted her to know that you would never become friends.
Alex helped you put your things in his closet and brought the food into the kitchen. You knew that sushi was his favorite food. He asked you to sit down and served you a glass of wine.
"Thank you so much for the sushi, I love it! So tell me, how long are you going to stay?" Marco heard the question and looked directly in your direction.
,,Ehm…I have to tell you something. I was actually thinking of moving here. I have already enrolled in a Danish course. And I will start working here in the hospital in two months’’. You told him that you quit your apartment and registered yourself in Copenhagen.
"So even if you don't want me here, I'll stay in Copenhagen" did you comment at the end. Alex was impressed by your initiative.
,,You didn't have to fly back the last time and you know that’’
"But don't worry, I'll find my own apartment as soon as possible and then move out."
"I don't think so, but we'll talk about that later" insisted Alex.
It was late and you were tired, you put the empty glass of wine in the kitchen and took a shower. The shower was at the end of the long corridor, so you had to walk past the guest room and Marco's room. You forgot your bathrobe in the room, so you wrapped the bath towel around you and ran back. The towel was too small so you hoped that nobody would notice. Alex was already waiting for you.
Suddenly someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you back.
"Wait!" Marco pushed your hair aside with his nose and kissed the back of your neck.
"I missed you baby". You turned around but he was holding your hand so tight that you couldn't run away.
"NO" you said quietly in a rough tone. Marco put his hand under your bathrobe and pulled you closer to him.
"You are so hot baby", you rejected his kiss.
"Let go of my arm Marco!" He noticed you said it seriously and he let you go.
**********
,,You don't know how I missed you, that was an agony. I couldn't even talk to you that much on the phone properly because of all your shifts.’’ Alex complained.
You actually wanted to ask him if he's kidding you like Marco. Marco promised to wait for you and in the end he didn't do it, but you couldn't because Alex didn't know anything about your sex, so you quickly forgot about it.
You were so horny, such a long time without a man in your bed. You were already tired of satisfying yourself. You couldn't wait any longer and dropped your bath towel. You sat on him and put his hands on your ass. You could feel that his cock was already hard. You rubbed it with your pussy and pushed his underpants down so that his cock jumped out. You took it in your hand and slowly shoved it into your pussy. You had to ride him slowly at the beginning because it hurt you a little. Alex looked up at you and closed his eyes. You could see he was enjoying that.
"Moan my name" he followed your command.
,,Louder!’’. you wanted Marco to hear it. You felt a heat inside you, that made you cum. You breathed into his mouth and felt this magnetism between you. Seeing your pleasured face made him even more horny. He climaxed and bit your chin.
Alex had to go to set early the next day, so you fell asleep quickly afterwards.
*********
In the morning you didn't even notice that he had already left. The apartment was very quiet, and you didn't see anyone. You were glad you didn't have to see this chick. You took your coffee and enjoyed the morning sunshine on the balcony. The sun's rays covered the cold, so you could keep your lace-trimmed nightgown on.
,,You don't know how happy I am to see you again baby I missed the smell of your skin so much.’’ Marco had his face right next to your neck and smelled your hair. You pushed him away.
“What do you mean, you missed me. You found a barbie who takes care of you.You couldn't miss me. You are such a liar. Don't you dare touch me again.’’You yelled at him and turned away from him. He held you back on your forearm so you couldn't go away.
"Hey, listen, I went crazy, I thought you'd never come back. You always spoke to Alex on the phone and never asked for me. What should I have done? I've already broken up with her. She won't come back.’’
You were so close to his lips, you knew it wouldn't stop at a kiss, so you didn't dare. You were hoping he would make this decision for you. Marco grabbed your ass, lifted you up carried you into the apartment. You couldn't resist him. He was very dominant with you in contrast to Alex. He put your panties aside and stroked your clit, you were already wet. Your legs were around his waist, until his cock found his way in your pussy.
,,Baby harder’’ You wanted him to be rougher. It made the whole thing more intense. Beeing discovered by alex was like a thrill for you. His hips smacked against your thights. Marco knew exactly when to act harsh to let you cum.
The mood after sex was intimate, as if you had known each other for years, it gave you a feeling of security.
************
When you went home in the afternoon after the Danish course, both were sitting at home and playing video games. You sat between them, but they paid no attention to you. So, you got up again and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.
"I'll help you," said Alex to you and took the knife away from you. You took the chance and took a shower.
"Ouch, I cut myself. Where's my nurse?! '' Alex wanted you to look at the wound. You had to grin because the cut was barely visible.
"You have to kiss it for it to heal." and held out his finger to you. You looked him in the eyes and your tongue ran all over his finger. You felt how it made him horny. You sucked his finger and then let his hand slip under your bra, so he could feel your hard nipples. Marco was still sitting on the couch, but could exactly hear what was going on.
,, I have a surprise for you’’. Alex blindfolded you and took you into a room. You took small steps because you were afraid of falling or running into a wall.
,,Come on elskede, trust me.” He put his hands on your shoulders and pushed you down. You lay on the bed with your legs bent. Shortly afterwards you heard a "click" on your wrists.
He slowly marked a trail of kisses, while you were tied to bed, just before your pussy he stopped.
"Do you like it?" it was Marco's voice and you were briefly confused. After he kissed you, you knew perfectly well that it was him. Your tongues pressed together in a hot openmouthed kiss. He pulled off your blindfold and you saw both lying next to you. Alex had already taken off his clothes and only had his pants on.
“I told him about us. I told him what we did in the disco and about sex in the morning.” You were shocked and scared of Alex's reaction. You knew it had to be said, but you weren't prepared at all.
,,We don't want to intimidate you, but we could both make you happy.'' said Marco. You looked shyly at Alex, but couldn't see any emotions on his face.
,, I knew you guys like each other, Marco eyefucks you all the time. I knew you had sex, because you rejected me even though I had fingered you in the disco shortly before.” added Alex.
,,You can think about it and then let us know. We won't force you.’’
Alex wanted to free you from the handcuffs, as you yelled.
,,No, don't!”, you searched for eye contact.
,, Come closer...’’ you whispered. ,,You are too nice to me guys. I know exactly how much you like having rough sex. So, let's stop pretending to like it gently.”
Marco sat at the foot of the bed, you knew he liked doggy style, so you turned around and pressed your ass towards him. He squeezed your ass cheeks and could see your pussy while doing it. He caressed your already wet pussy and shoved his cock in. It made you moan loudly. You liked that feeling of being dominated and they liked it even more. Marco put his hand around your neck and pulled your head towards his chest. You could hear his fast breathing.
"I've wanted to do this for a long time, why did you keep me waiting so long for this…Look at Alex and tell him how much you like to be fucked hard, you nasty girl.”
Alex sat in the corner of the room on an armchair. He was hearing your clapping cheeks and rubbed his cock.
“Please fuck me harder Marco“, you’ve never seen Alex so horny.
He got up and approached you. His big hand touched your soft neck and choked you. He did it very gently so that you could breathe easily, he was rather shy. His tongue slided soft over your upper lip. You wanted to kiss him but he refused.
,,You won’t decide what we'll do” and wagged his finger.
,,Let's turn her over!’’ he said. They talked about you like you weren't there.
Alex released the handcuffs from the bed but left them on your wrists. Marco put your legs on his shoulders so that he could penetrate you deeper. Alex knelt down to you and stroked your mouth with his cock. He had your arms trapped between his thighs. They grinned at each other and focused on you again. You were like on fire. Your pussy pulsed and your climax came closer and closer. You looked at Alex who was close to your face.
,,Can I cum? " Your hands sank into the sheets and you couldn't wait any longer.
,,Let it happen elskede” He gave you a gentle kiss and bit your lower lip. He saw you cumming and jerked off on your breasts, your spread it over your nipple and licked your finger clean. Marco moaned loud in your ear, you felt how the sperm ran out of your pussy.
"Tak baby”, muttered Marco while smooched your neck.
They both got off you and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Are you okay?" and released your handcuffs.
“I feel better than ever. Don't worry guys, you didn't hurt me and you never will.
" You stood up und walked into the bathroom.
,,Do you sleep in my bed tonight? I would be happy about that” Marco called after you.
,,I think I will settle in the guest room if you both agree. I can start work earlier than planned and it would be easier for me if I have my own room”
,,That’s not a problem for me, but i will sneak into your room if i want a kiss” said Alex with a wink.
,,All right, no problem, good night and wake me up tomorrow” said Marco a little disappointed.
,,Good night guys and thank you for letting me live here” and closed the door behind you.
Author’s Notes | “After many days of battling” - Marco Ilsø
Universe | Vikings
Pairing | Hvitserk x Reader
Info | Viking Age AU, inspired by the image and quote taken by Marco Ilsø’s Instagram acc (@ marcoilsoe), suggested soundtrack: Fairy Tale (Shaman)
Words | 1345
⁑ Warnings: ANGST, Fluffy, romance.
For many days she remained sitting at the balcony, looking to the horizon.
Her eyes saw the dawn and the sunset more times than she can remember since his hands had waved one last goodbye; his chair, empty by her side, remembering what she was always so faithfully waiting for.
They never had the chance to get married. Their relationship was only starting to go into this direction when he had to go to England to avenge his father. Then Vestfold with his younger brother and all that war that didn’t touch her since the house they had chosen was near the borders of Hedeby, far away from all that terrible conflict.
On the few times she saw him during this conflict, their love only grew a little more with each touch, each word. She didn’t need one entire life to know he was the other piece of her soul lost in the universe, her fate. But since the last time he left, her fate became to wait tirelessly for his return. With no further clue of when he would come back... Or if he would come back someday.
She had made new blankets for the winter she spent alone in her bed, cold without his body by her side. And every single day she gives a piece of bread to the homeless in the market: leftovers of the bread she cooked on the morning before, waiting for him to eat with her.
He never came back, yet she never gave up. Every single morning she cooked a new loaf. His locker already had some new comfortable clothes she made for him and now her fingers were sliding on needles and wool once again. Another winter would come and she wanted to be sure that he would be warm...
He asked her to wait for him and she promised herself she would wait 'till the last day of her life if necessary.
The sun was setting again. Time to go inside, close the doors and the windows to avoid insects and take a look at the dinner she was cooking for tonight. His favorite roasted meat. Rice and potatoes she planted herself. Everything was ready and she set the table for two, even she had been eating alone for all these months.
She went outside to take her basket with the wool and needles she was using to knit and see the last sun rays at the sky, maybe pray to the gods to protect him. But when her eyes reached the horizon, her basket fell on the ground.
And her eyes filled with tears...
He could remember every single step of that road. Every single swing of the horse under him, making his heart remember how to beat. He wished he could go faster - as fast as his horse could run - but his body was aching. Even the slow pace of the horse was now hurting his tired muscles.
But his lips curved in a soft smile when he saw her coming down the little stairs of his balcony. Her beautiful eyes full of tears and her lips covered by her hands.
His eyes could see a little basket at the ground... She was knitting. He remembers to spend some good hours seeing the way her fingers were so skilled in this art, sliding the wool through the needles, making a beautiful new cloth from the tangle of knots his eyes couldn't understand. Good memories, between so much blood and pain.
The horse stopped and he came down from the saddle, grunting the pain of stand on his feet once again. Her soft hands touched his chest, helping him to balance. But he could feel her touch... She was real... It wasn't another of his many dreams...
He raised his hands, intending to touch her sweet face. And leaned his head to hers, intending to touch foreheads with her as he was used to doing. But he didn't. His face was sweaty, his hands still dirty... He didn't want to stain her skin with all the dust and blood of his battles. No. She was his safe place, his port... He didn't want anything from that terrible world he was in, could reach her.
Their faces were so close now... He could feel her breath against his own... Her sweet smell like fresh flowers of a spring he didn't see for so long...
"Hvitserk..."
His eyes closed when the sound of her melodic voice came into his ears. And it was impossible not to smile. That voice... How many times he begged, in the middle of the cries of the battlefields, to hear her calling him that way again? How many times he begged in pain for her fingers to touch his skin as she was doing now, caressing his face with her fingertips like drawing him, seeking for the same assurance he was trying to feel: That he was home, alive, whole... How many times he begged, thirsty and hungry, for her sweet lips to touch his again as she was doing now, kissing his dry mouth so slowly, so softly, so his...
He didn't want her to cry. But even her tears had a sweet taste now.
He didn't want to dirt her. But to feel her arms around his body was so comfortable... So good...
"Come... I'll take care of you".
He didn't know if it was true or if he died and went to his own paradise... But his feet followed her steps inside. His ears listening to the wood creaking under his feet in such a pleasurable sound remembering he never fixed the cracked board at the floor; the smell of fresh food, making his stomach clench inside his body.
She started to fill the bathtub and put some water to warm. Slowly, she made his body free of the stained and dirty clothes; his eyes following each movement of her hands, spreading herbs on the water or touching his wounds and new scars with her fingertips. Washing his skin from all that dust and battle marks.
She took care of each wound. She washed each part of his body. She dried his skin with a soft towel that caused him shivers of pleasure on feeling such a soft cloth on his skin again; her fingers sliding through his hair, washing, untangling, drying them ... Braiding them the way he liked so much.
She gave him a new and comfortable tunic he didn't remember to have; the smooth cloth so enjoyable and warm. Clean trousers and dry shoes.
His fingers were touching each piece of furniture as she was guiding his steps to the dinner table prepared for two. His favorite dish served with a piece of fresh bread and mead in his cup. His eyes got teary when he first tasted the meat. It came down through his throat like a balm, healing the hungry of months eating nothing but dust and blood.
She finished her dinner first and went to the room. When he finished his meal, she took him to the room with her and he could feel again the doors of Valhalla opening in front of his eyes: she had lightened some candles, changed the sheets and hit the pillows. The new blanket over the bed was surely made by her hands. She took off his shoes and helped him to lay down, but he didn't let her go away; his hands pulled her body to his, his fingers undressing her skin, his mouth kissing her body, her sounds filling the room, sending away all the cries of battle and death he had to hear for so long; their bodies becoming one once again.
And when the pleasure consumed them both, he laid his head on her chest, feeling her arms around his body, her fingers sliding through his skin as he could hear her heart beating. He closed his eyes, fearless for the first time in so many nights. And his voice echoed, low, only to her ears...
“I’m finally back home…”
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Author’s Notes | Notes
Universe | Vikings
Pairing | Hvitserk x Viking Princess! Reader
Info | Viking Age AU, interaction with Reader’s Brother OC, requested by anon
Words | 596
⁑ Warnings: Humor, some cursing.
He's sure he remembers her face... If Hvitserk wasn't wrong, he remembers her face from the feast they gave to reunite the kings and earls that came to offer their men to the Great Heathen Army. He was examining the female figure that got into the hall when the male by her side took away all his doubts.
"So you're here, gluttony prince"
"Ah... (Y/N)!" he immediately remembered "And her illustrious bad educated brother. Of course. How's your father?" Hvitserk asked...
...to her. Ignoring completely the education moral that says he would be talking with the men inside the room. The male figure beside the beautiful girl smiling just growls, unsatisfied.
"That's ridiculous! You said we came to talk with the crippled, not with his dog!"
"Brother!" she exclaimed in shocked expression turning to Hvitserk with her most mourning face "Please be patient with my brute brother. He's still annoyed about what happened"
"Pff!" her brother let go a pissed sound, sucking his teeth, completely pissed on having to talk with Hvitserk.
But the guy has made a terrible choice of words that made Hvitserk remains frowned even after her excuses.
"My father" she tried to continue explaining "was unfortunately murdered a few days ago and he left me one last desire to fulfill"
"I can't freaking believe you will take it ahead!"
"You should have more respect for the dead, little man" Ivar's voice echoes and Hvitserk smiles seeing his brother getting inside the hall with his crutch, making the annoying young man aside Y/N to freeze on seeing him walking.
"We are sorry for your loss, my lady, but what brought you here indeed?" he said sitting aside Hvitserk who got up, leaning himself against the table, catching a piece of bread with meat to put on his mouth.
She sighed to her brother's bad attitude and leaned herself in respect to the new prince at the hall.
"My father asked me to come to the sons of Ragnar. He already knew about your content with the usurper queen Lagertha and he sent me here to make an alliance. We offer our men and our weapons to fight for your sake in this war, my lord".
"In exchange?" Ivar questioned as Hvitserk was looking at her, devouring her curves, just to make her brother's eyes even more pissed in following his own.
"In exchange, my lord, my father asked for marriage. My brother is still too young to wear the crown and was also my father's will that I ended up my life married with one of the illustrious sons of Ragnar Lothbrook."
"And this is the most stupid fallacy of my old and senile father! Come on, (Y/N)! You can't do such stupidity! We can rule our kingdom by ourselves!"
"Young... As I can see" Ivar answered about the brother.
But Hvitserk just cleaned his hands, waking forward. "It won't be a problem," he said, with a smile in his face "I'll marry her, Ivar"
The crippled brother smiled shrugging.
"What!? You?! Not even over my dead body!" her brother said, to get mute at the next moment with Hvitserk's sword fastly pulled and paused millimeters from his neck
"Providable" Hvitserk said, seriously, causing (Y/N) to sigh, frightened.
But then he giggled, putting his sword back in the hem. "Oh don't be afraid. I was just joking... Brother in law" he jokes, caressing her chin with a suggestive smile on his face as her brother grunts in unsatisfaction.
To marry her wouldn't be a problem. To be honest, he was anxious...
Author’s Notes | I have to say it was hard to make him insecure, love. And soon I’ll make some more ideas over what you suggested, but for now, I hope you enjoy it!
Universe | Vikings
Pairing | Hvitserk x Shield Maiden! OC
Info | Viking Age AU, requested by anon
Words | 554
⁑ Warnings: ANGST, humiliation, mentions of blood and violence. Some fluffy and romance.
The last thing I deserved after jumped that boat to stay with him was that: being treated like a dog for the second brother in a row… And worse: In front of her eyes. After that stupidity from Ivar, how could I be able to look at her? Such a shield maiden, such a warrior, such a woman, smiling with the corner of her lip beside my brother as I was leaving the room, humiliated.
I went to the walls, to take some fresh air. My eyes were teary, my chest torn apart. I still could remember Ubbe’s eyes to me, so betrayed when I jumped that boat… He could have treated me like his faithful dog, but he never humiliated me that way…
“Lord Odin… Did I made the right choice?” I tried.
My eyes lost in the sky, trying to hold the tears.
"Give me a sign… Help me…”
I still could hear them laughing. Did Ivar ever think about how I would feel with that stupid joke?
Did he ever think how was I feeling now?
Does Ivar ever think about anyone else but himself?
So many questions and memories were numbing my thoughts and I once again saw myself questioning my own actions.
Did I make the right choice? Shouldn’t I have gone with Björn back to the Mediterranean sea? I was so tired of following my older brothers’ directions, but if it wasn’t this what I was supposed to do, so…
“What is my destiny?”
But I had no time to figure out any answers or to see exactly who was coming from the door I came from. A bunch of arrows hit the place where I was, obligating me to pull myself down. But the person coming was unwarned about the arrows and whoever she was, would be on crossfire soon. So I didn't think twice when I saw the figure leaving the door to the walls: I just jumped over her, feeling an arrow scratching my shoulder as soon as I dropped with her, causing me to grunt in pain.
Better a scratch in my shoulder than a shield maiden dead at the walls.
I wasn't expecting it was just her life I saved with this jump... My eyes got wide when I saw her body under mine in the ground. And she smiled to me that way that always made me embarrassed.
“Thank you, prince Hvitserk…”
What was so different about that girl? Why her smiles were able to make me so speechless?
“I... You're... welcome...”
“You hurt yourself...” she said, touching my arm, staining her fingers with my blood.
“It was nothing... Just a... scratch” I tried to minimize it, but she smiled again and my words just vanished.
“It seems this little puppy needs some tending tonight,” she said, rolling over my body and then getting up with that amazing way to move her hips when walking “Why don't you come, my prince? I'll take care of you tonight...”
It was really happening? I couldn't be sure, but I got up and followed her steps as a lost puppy indeed. She got me wrapped around her fingers and if she was my answer... If she was my destiny...
So thank Skuld and Odin for this, cause I would be the happiest man on Midgard...
Warnings: This is my first chapter without a pré-check, which means I’m risking this time to post you a chapter with my terrible English hahaha Please let me know if you find any mistakes okay? Thank you! And sorry for the sad chapter. #loveyouSigurd
Words: 2.108
Things weren't that clear since you discovered about your godfather's death...
You could feel the heat of the battle, the taste of the victory Ivar had conquered for you and your brothers with his amazing strategy.
You could feel your heart beating like a drum, excited by your brothers’ screams. You could feel your soul tremble with Björn's voice at your ears...
"SHIELDWALL! CHARGE!".
You could feel your body heating with his movements... His fierceness... His body covered on your enemies' blood…
Hvitserk fought as a beast and you always thought it was so beautiful and attractive on him. You always got so horny with his battle growls... But now, now you knew all that made the shield maidens around you get wet, would be in your bed, sweating with you at the end of this night. It was for you he was smiling. His sword was pointed at you...
It was your waist he grabbed in the middle of the battlefield.
Your lips he kissed in front of everybody, sharing with you the delicious emotion of the battle and the taste of blood on his lips.
“Tonight I'll fuck you until I'm sure you're carrying my child.”
You laugh at his promises and he smiled at you. That devilish smile that made you think maybe he was talking for real and not only joking with your excitation.
He jumped into Ivar's chariot, punching his brother's arms and celebrating. Ivar was so happy! When was the last time you got such a beautiful scene in your eyes?
All your brothers were there, together, smiling at each other, all of them around Ivar who was also smiling, screaming and so happy. You asked the gods to never forget this scene. To keep this moment in your mind forever...
You never thought you would regret these ask.
Cause that moment so happy was now crushing your heart into pieces. You could remember their smiles... You could remember how happy you were...
Now...
Now everything turned into tears and despair.
Such a huge pain that burned your throat to a scream so loud, so heartbroken, that you could barely recognize your own voice. In your hands, a body you never imagined to carry this way. In your heart, a pain you never imagined you could handle.
You couldn't handle...
You wish you could die with him. In his place... You wish it was you lying lifeless in his arms. Anything but feeling your beloved bee sleeping forever in your embrace. His snake eyes opened to nowhere. His blood staining your clothes.
The happy eyes of hours ago now were drowned in tears you wish you never had to cry. Why you couldn't be faster? Why you weren't fast enough? One step ahead... Just one step... You could still remember that scene repeating and repeating in slow motion in your head...
You would never forget that scene…
You were celebrating. Björn's speech was just over. All the brothers sat around the table. Sigurd had just leaned out the oud against the pillar and came back to the table where you were sat at Hvitserk's lap. His hand around your waist as he was eating and drinking from your cup. Ivar was bored: Björn wanted to go back to the Mediterranean Sea and it would divide the army he wanted to lead on new raids. You loved the heat of the battle and you didn't disagree of your little brother's need for new quests, but you were with Ubbe: you wish to settle down and have some time to mature your new relationship with Hvitserk, maybe start a life by his side. You two weren't kids anymore and you weren’t becoming younger... And anyway, Hvitserk and you had spent lots of time traveling. Both of you needed time to settle down and get some rest before thinking about another raid.
But even then, you didn't take Ivar's right to be thirsty. He never had won a battle before. He just tasted his first victory and of course, he would want more. So when he started to scream to the army, you got a little bit proud he was becoming such a great warrior. Such a leader... But your brothers weren't thinking the same way as you...
"You cannot lead the army, Ivar..."
Your eyes rolled to Ubbe and your soul questioned mutely... "Why not?"
Ivar has proved himself a valuable mind, the warriors were answering to his voice and he knew exactly for what reasons to fight or drive the army.
"For the love of fame and for the love of Odin, our father!"
Why he could not lead the army men who want to follow him?
“Don’t do this, Ivar! We are all the sons of Ragnar, we have to stick together!”, Sigurd’s voice just cuts your thoughts and Ivar's expression just caught your attention to the fight about to begin.
“Frankly, dear Sigurd, I don't care what you say.” Ivar started and you put your cup over the table, ready to stop this little arguing between them both “The truth is, I wouldn't even piss down your throat even if your lungs were on fire.”
But before you could do anything, Sigurd shoot something that made your eyes turn furiously to him. “Well, maybe that's because you're not really a man! Are you, Boneless?”
Ivar just stopped and your eyes almost choke Sigurd for killing Ivar's eyes that way. All of you knew how much Margrethe's experience has crushed him and it wasn't Sigurd's right to talk about this so meanly and that was why you spent the entire time Björn was talking with the men calling his attention for such a grossly action, whispering harsh words to him.
“Gods, damn it Sigurd! How many times I have to tell you to bite your damn tongue! Was it really necessary? He is your damn brother! Respect his pain! For the gods' sake!”
“I’m sorry” he whispered back “He is fucking insane, (Y/N)! Someone needs to stop him”
“Poor Bjorn! It is you who doesn't want to keep the army together. It is you who wants to go away to sunny places. Everyone else can follow me.” Ivar has started again and Sigurd turned himself to you.
“See? He’s fucking crazy!”
And then… The worse has begun. Sigurd got up, slapping the table and looking to Ivar.
“I do not want to follow you, Ivar. You are crazy. You have the mind of a child!”
You took a breath to make them stop, but Ivar shoots faster than you.
“And all you do is play music, Sigurd!”
“I'm just as much a son of Ragnar as you are.”
Why were they arguing that way? It was supposed to be a good moment! Why Sigurd couldn’t stop and respect Ivar’s intents? All he had to do is to stay. Do not follow Ivar and let him go by himself!
But he had to fight… He had to defy Ivar once again. To push him beyond his limits…
“I'm not so sure. As far as I remember, Ragnar didn't play the oud. And he certainly didn't offer his ass to other men!”
“Ivar!!” you said, shocked “This already went too far! You two just stop!” you got up from Hvitserk’s lap, trying to cool them both down.
But it was just like you wasn’t there… Sigurd just kept pushing, teasing, speaking things he never should have said.
“You make me laugh just like you do when you crawl around like a baby.”
“Shut your mouth!” Ivar screamed.
He was so near the edge!
“Enough!” Björn tried.
“You two, please stop!” you tried.
But Ivar just screamed higher to both of you.
“This has nothing to do with you!”
Your brother’s body was so tense! Neither Ubbe’s words were able to relax him not even a little.
“Ivar, do not listen to him.”
“What's the matter, Ivar?” Sigurd’s voice echoed again “You can't take it? No, I guess it must be hard for you now that your mommy's dead. Knowing she's the only one who ever really loved you”
It went too far even for you. You turned to Sigurd ready to scream at him. And he shrugged at you, ready to do what he always did… To say Ivar deserved to hear… To hear he never knew when to stop…
But this time wasn’t going to be another discussion. This time you wouldn’t be able to make things right. You would never be able to make things right again.
Cause it wasn’t your harsh voice that reached Sigurd in that second.
“Ivar... IVAR!”.
After Ubbe’s voice screaming everything went low for you. And it was a flying ax that hit Sigurd’s chest, right over the heart. His stained eyes were looking at you when it happened. And then everything turned blank to you.
His tunic slowly began to become red and he walked towards Ivar's chair after he pulled the ax out of the wound. Your eyes followed his steps until he drops to his knees and then onto the ground.
All your life has passed through your eyes.
The first time he brought you his oud… His first successful music…
His smiles, his hugs…
“Things are not the same without you here.”
Your body moved by itself, walking in slow steps until where Hvitserk and Ubbe were already lowered. Ubbe’s hands caressing Sigurd’s blonde hair you remember to braid before the battle…
Your legs lost the strength and you fell on your knees. Your pain was so visible that Hvitserk and Ubbe opened some space so you could get closer, gently turning Sigurd to you.
He didn’t move…
He wasn’t breathing anymore…
You had leaned your head towards his, touched your ear to his chest…
There wasn’t a heart beating…
He wasn’t hugging you back when you held his body in your arms.
He didn’t comfort you when you started crying on his shoulder.
You closed your eyes and his laugh came back to your mind. That so happy moment come back to your mind and you cursed your ask for remembering.
Your beloved bee wasn’t there anymore and all you could do was screaming, as loud as you could, trying to pull out through your throat the pain that was ripping your chest.
Your eyes didn’t cross with Ivar’s even you knew he was looking at you. You just hid your face against Sigurd’s hair and cried holding him as you could prevent his soul to enter the Valhalla and drag her back to his body.
It was hard to separate you from Sigurd’s body, but when Ubbe finally made this task you were defeated. Not even Hvitserk’s hug was able to make you feel better. There was a void inside your chest, dragging all emotions to the darkness in your eyes, so clear, that any hope of forgiveness just vanished from Ivar's blues as soon as he faced your eyes.
You were ready to defend him... You were ready to stand for him.
Now...
"What have you done?"
Your words seemed to drag Ivar's blues into tears that he didn't let to fall. Hvitserk took you with him but you didn't follow his steps to the tents. In the middle of the way you just separated from him. Asked for a time to yourself.
You went to the river, you sunk yourself on the water until it covers your head. The flow washing Sigurd's blood from your chest and your hands, but not from your soul. You screamed until your voice got lost. You cried until there were no more tears to cry. With the sun dying on the horizon, you felt Hvitserk's cloak on your shoulders and his arms taking you from the ground you were laid in. You barely moved when he took your body in his arms but as soon as his smell invaded your nose, you gripped his clothes with your fingers tight and looked to him in teary eyes he never imagined to see so full of pain.
"Please... don't leave me"
His own eyes turned teary to your voice almost childish and he leaned his head against yours, touching your forehead with his own.
"Please" you repeated, devastated "Please don't leave me, Puppy, please..."
But he just hugged you tighter and nodded his head affirmatively trying to make you feel something you were sure you would never feel again.
You had lost your godfather, your godmother and now your beloved Honey Bee was dead... You weren't ready to lose anyone else so soon...
And now you were sure you would never feel safe once again.
