why’d you have to go and break my heart when i was still fallin over my own feet over you
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why’d you have to go and break my heart when i was still fallin over my own feet over you
alcohol doesn't cure my sadness anymore..
If I had an Australian friend....
One day I'd call em up and.. Me: CRIKEY MATE HOW'RE THE DINGOES OVER THERE, EATING YOUR BABIES? Them: *under their breath* aw shit it's this fuck again Me: WHAT MATEY I CAN'T HEAR YOU SOUNDS LIKE A BUNCH OF KANGAROOS HOPPING AROUND OVER THERE Them: Yo, I'm tired of you doing this every phone conversation. I might be Australian but this is getting out of hand. Me: HOW DO YOU FEEL KNOWING YOU SOUND LIKE CROCODILE DUNDEE MATE?!? Them: *angrily wails in what seems to be a mixture of dingo and wallaby sounds* Me: DO YOU HAVE AN AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD, IT WOULD BE FUNNY RIGHT, HAHAHAHAHA. Them: *hops like kangaroo to my house and punches the living daylights out of me"
If I had a 911 operator as a friend...
I'd call 911 up in an emergency and Them: "this is 911, what's your emergency?" Me:"I'M ABOUT TO- oh hey Susan, how's the kids?" Them: "they're great, but Greg hates having to deal with them sometimes. Kids are kids ya know?" Me: "I totally understand, mine are a pain too!" Them: *hears loud crashing in the background* "Is that them now?" Me: "oh no, that's just the guy with the chainsaw breaking through the door and he's about to kiLl ME OH SHIT MARGARET SAVE ME"
update: just came out of my interview and panic are a pack of rolos
You can't fix me. Im the type of.broken that cannot be fixed.
"Im dumb so you tell me. If us being lovers is the cause what will the effect be?" NO. NO THIS DRAMA IS DOING THINGS TO MY HEART RIGHT NOW I CANT HANDLE THE CUTENESS OHGOD SOMEONE HOLD ME