#imdonewithlife

[girlkissermiah]

i’m so emotionally unwell need a girl to come over and treat me right before i put an end to it 🙏🙏

[ihavehisjams]

BTS (방탄소년단) LOVE YOURSELF 承 Her ‘Serendipity’ Comeback Trailer

[imnotedgy0-0]

(-.-)

I hate it when adults say ur too young to be stressed like ok margaret why don't YOU tell me why I wanna fukin cry every .20 seconds and have anxiety abt like idk everything ???? I mean I thought it was bc I was sTrEsSeD but yOu'Re ObViOuSlY the professional here so why don't u just go ahead and tell me what I'm aCtUaLlY feeling

[ze-cal]

Here you go @sayorimax / @the-real-baldi I contribute as a sacrifice. Yeet.

[n8vjenisa]

I’m done with this one #malefigure #ceramics #sculpture #imtired #imdonewithlife (at USM 3-D Art building)

[cloudforestcrow]

TL;DR: I’m a disgrace and I know it. I won’t ever not be.

Note: Mental breakdown had to go somewhere. So it went here. If ya’ll know me in real life and wanna chat.... feel free to. If I start talking about anything that isn’t about this despite you asking- that’s what we’re talking about.

Second note: Normally I don’t post these. Sorry for ruining someone’s day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s that time of the day again where I literally spend 3 nights now realizing I’m an utter disgrace to my family. Not only just for existing. No. It gets better.

Life choices I’ve made don’t coenside with my family’s ideals. Small things like where I live. How often I call home (and i literally call any chance I get- which sadly isn’t often, but im trying!). What I talk about. My leasure time hobbies. All those. Nah. Don’t work. Not in the slightest. Medium life choices like my college major. I’m not a metilurgical or chemical engineer, or even a biotechnology major anymore.... I’m a psychology major. A good field, mind you, but not biotech like I originally set out to be.... and not engineering like the LITERAL REST OF MY FAMILY :D Ha!!! Hahaha.... It’s sad. And BIG life choices. Like. HEY. My gender.... My Name. How I look. How I act. How I am Being Me. NONE. NONE of those are acceptable. The fact that I’m non-binary and want they/them pronouns. I like my birthname but I also don’t ? But godforbid I try to change it... I don’t act “like a proper girl” and heaven forbid I act “like a proper human being” (I’ve lost how to human. I’ve just lost it. Somewhere. Like 6 years ago.) and function. None of those are acceptable.

None of them. I gotta be a straight person. Gotta get straight As on EVERYTHING (im not kidding) I do in school. Gotta be able to talk to EVERYONE (i can barely talk to my close friends). Gotta be able to wake up early in the morning and FunCTioN right off the bat! Gotta be happy all the time. Can’t do drugs. Can’t have a drink on occasion. Can’t take medication except for Zyrtec (my allergy medication that THE DOCTOR said I DONT NEED ANYMORE) which is totally fine! Can’t see a therapist anymore cuz “I don’t need one at all”. So what have I done? Oh, ya know, literally everything I’ve been told I can’t do. Why? I’m living. And where’s it gotten me? Down quite a pit. So let’s get one thing straight, the only straight thing I’ll ever have; I’m Courtney. I’m gay af. Nonbinary, which defaults to everything being a lil bit gay at least. I’ve got dyed hair. I like alochol. I’ve delved in things like weed to see how it is. Everyone has. I own a bearded dragon. I’m living in a house away from my parents with awesome people. I’m a psychology major! It’s an ACTUALLY GOOD FIELD. I’m trying my damn best to be a human. All that. All of that and much more makes me an utter disgrace to my immediete family. Let alone my friends and other family. And normally I don’t put this stuff here anymore but... it had to go somewhere. I’ll keep being the disgrace. I’ll keep being me. Don’t worry Tumblr. We’ve got one more huge fuckup in the world who’s gonna change it for the better somehow! While I travel along that path, I know I’m gonna be making enemies wherever I turn. Someone’s gotta hate somebody. Luckily for all them, I’ve got more people who hate me than friends, and I know em by name. So let’s add more to the list as I continue to ruin more of the life that people want me to live as I find the life I’m carving out for myself in this big pit. Oh, and, if anybody finds a sandworm they aren’t riding... I could use some spice in my life. Something. Something new. Or at least some consistency.

[sheemz3]

sadness

you: what do u tell others about wht u feel?

me: i tell others im tired...but in fact im tired.

i tell people tht i will be fine tomorrow bu i know...tomorrow will be worse.

you: so...u lie?

me: i tell lies everyday...and i know i will never be able to stop my self.

[handfulofbangtan-blog]

Me bc summer is ending....