#imgoingtosnap

[saintcentury]

We know about Peep show. What else is in the SCU (Staring Cinematic Universe)?

[cheermeupp]

when my stepdad died, i panicked because we didnt have enough money as a family to bury him. 

to help my absolutely devastated mother, i made a GoFundMe page to help. 

I shared it on Facebook as much as I could, and the people who really knew me donated what they could, which I still appreciate so much.

But suddenly, there were these people i had never heard of before that said they were best friends with my dad, and claimed I was scamming people. They told everyone not to share the GoFundMe page. They said I should be ashamed, and that my mother should use her money she spent on her Florida vacation on his funeral expenses. They turned nearly everyone against me that my dad knew in the past and I ended up with less than $1000 on the GoFundMe page. 

I was the last person to see my dad before he left the house to go to the hospital. I lived with him or next door to him my entire life. The people commenting and bullying my family had not seen my dad in decades. He would have been incredibly pissed off at their behavior toward his family he loved so much. 

I miss him everyday. We had a complicated relationship, and didnt get along until I was an adult. He apologized several times for the way he treated me when I was a kid, and we let the past be the past. He was funny and protective and smart. I think about him everyday.

My mom still cant even mention him. We cant talk about him to her. Its too painful, like a sensitive nerve. She got back from Florida just in time to see him die, but he was already unconscious. She didnt get a proper goodbye. He kept telling her over the phone that he was fine, and she should stay in Florida. He had a routine of going to the hospital a few times a year to get the excess fluid removed from his body. This one was different. The hospital made mistakes, he was transferred to another hospital and they made mistakes. Then he was gone, and the hospital seemed annoyed. Like my family was upset over nothing, as we stood in the room with his body and cried. As if our grieving time was up and we needed to move along.

His parents, who treated him like shit and who he hated, acted like they were his only true loved ones. They wanted to take over- post the death announcement and make the funeral arrangements. They wanted all of those people from his past that bullied my family to attend the funeral. Upon trying to explain to my dad’s mother that we are going through a hard time too, and we just want to get along and get on the same page, she yelled at me and put me down, then hung up on me and didnt answer her phone again.

I never spoke to her again.

To this day we never had a funeral for dad. We used the GoFundMe money to cremate him and get a nice urn. We didnt have enough to engrave it, maybe one day. His parents, with all their money, declined to help financially in any way. 

My dad loved my mom more than he loved anyone or anything in the world. He loved my brother and he often told me he loved me too. He was practically best friends with my husband, Mark. He would have LOVED to come to our wedding. He loved his dog, Zakk, who misses Dad terribly. 

Its the biggest loss I have ever experienced in my 30 years of life. 

[jamaican-anklet]

I want to beable to come home everyday with a smile, but some days its hard for me to even make it to my car before the tears come.