Meet my sisters. The one hoisted up is Gwen, my baby sister, who quickly and unexpectedly passed away, July 22, 2018. It no doubt has been a devastating time for us. Grief can be such a mind f*. The things you think about when everyone is falling apart is crazy. I saw how much pain my sisters were in. I thought it would have been better if I was the one that died instead of my baby sister. Thinking my sisters would prefer it and wouldn’t be nearly as sad. I knew that was all my own s* coming up, but still I felt that way. When I was sharing a hotel room with my sister, Gretchen, she said that if she died she thinks I’m the only one that would really care. She was so sad saying that. Hearing that broke my heart and made me sad she felt that way. Of course it isn’t true. Gretchen’s an amazing sister and person. But It made me realize I wasn’t the only one thinking these crazy thoughts, but regardless they felt true to us. Who knows what our other sisters might have been thinking themselves. Mind f*s. grief has to be the hardest thing we as humans deal with. There’s never an easy way or short cut. It hurts. It’s brings up your inner ‘stories.’ It makes you question your beliefs. It pushes you way outside your comfort zone. It challenges you and turns you upside-down. It makes you raw. It’s painfully humbling. Even though I can communicate with the deceased it still makes it no easier for me. I’m terrible at grief. When life changes, life changes. I don’t know what’s next for me, but I know it’s something different. #imissyousis #griefsucks #breakingpoint #lifechanges #permenanttears #sisters #whenlifehurts #humblingexperience https://www.instagram.com/p/BnaJU6knyyD/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=b8ucyl1pefc8
