#imp tech

[imperial-science-officer]

Entry 234 ~encrypted~

"What is the ethical threshold for 'acceptable' collateral damage during experimentation?"

I find this question difficult to answer, as my ambition knows no bounds. Am I not the one to define my own definition of success?

In my esteemed opinion, these bureaucrats should learn to keep their place. "But at what cost" is something to ask Imperial payroll, and is the least of my concerns.

[imperial-science-officer]

Permission to simp heavily for you, Commander?

But not aggressive simping where I'm like "Please step on me sir" but I am thinking that everytime I look at you. But a quiet simping like I will literally do anything possible to climb my way through the ranks in order to stand by your side. Then once reaching my goal, bending over backwards to do anything that you ask even if it comes as great harm to me. Following every rule and order you give me down to the exact the letter and executing it with utmost efficiency because I will not allow even the tiniest mistake to happen. No, no because you deserve nothing less than perfection and I will do whatever it takes to obtain that level of performance. The "Use me however you wish" or "Your words are my religion" kind of simping.

Permission to simp in that way, sir?

It appears you already are.

[imperial-science-officer]

I have an experiment to propose, although it may seem unorthodox and possibly lewd in nature.

The frontal lobe is the control center for decision making and logical thinking, among other things.

So what is the influence that physical sexual stimulation has on the functioning of the frontal lobe?

I propose that we measure frontal lobe activity while physically stimulating the subject, both through EEG (electroensephalogram) as well as asking basic questions that would involve executive functioning.

Why don’t you just come right out and say it, darling?

[imperial-science-officer]

My little sister wants to become an Imperial Medical Scientist so she could find cures to illnesses and conditions.

Any advice you wish to give her?

Your sister's aspirations are commendable.

My advice would be to invest all of her free time in scientific and mathematical study, particularly in the areas of anatomy, physiology, chemistry, and biology. It would also be quite helpful if she were to collaborate with a group of like-minded individuals that are not opposed to partaking in a few backstair experiments.

[imperial-science-officer]

Nerd

I mean this as a compliment

Coward.

I mean this as an insult.

[imperial-science-officer]

I am aware of the existence of order 66, but is there an order 69?

No. There is, however, an Order 67.

[transcendgaming]

iMP has announced the release of their product thumb grips for PS4 and Xbox One called,Thumb Treadz. 

These Thumb Treadz are perfectly paired with the Trigger Treadz, and can be attached to the original PlayStation 4 and Xbox One analogue sticks. The thumb grips help give increased grip and comfort during gameplay while keeping the wear and tear on the original stick surfaces to a minimum.

Thumb Treadz come in pairs of 2 and offer a rigid soft silicone grip or, a harder dimpled TPU material. With two choices to choose from, your level of comfort and grip will be at it best. I f you get tired of one style or its comfort, switch to the other pair and start gaming.

Get Traction on the Action!

Dean Harvey, iMP Managing Director said:

“Thumb Treadz are a great low-cost enhancement for your gaming controllers, providing improved comfort and grip during those heated gaming sessions!”

iMP Thumb Treadz for PS4 and Xbox One Available now at selected stores and e-tailers or direct at www.triggertreadz.com for £2.99/€3.99/$4.99.

Don’t miss out!

Trigger Treadz Reveals, Thumb Treadz iMP has announced the release of their product thumb grips for PS4 and Xbox One called,