sanemi had long ago decided not to make friends. to ignore everyone, act as hostile as possible. at one point, he met masachika. he managed to act as uninviting to him and yet, somehow, masachika was unbothered. it irritated sanemi. that, despite all his efforts, masachika still fussed at him, still cared for him, still brought him to his trainer’s home and allowed him a bed and some food. it would be easier to despise him if he wasn’t so goddamn kind. even with sanemi’s constant insistency that he was fine, that masachika could stop bothering with him, he wasn’t left alone. he tried hating it, he really did. but he found himself catching moments where he let himself slip, let a smile crack or allowed himself to be coddled by the boy. and the worst part? he didn’t mind it, after a while. he let himself feel the affection, let his injuries be treated as masachika talked happily to him. sometimes, when he was alone, he knew that this had to stop. that he had to leave one day, either of them would die eventually. that, no matter how kind masachika was, death made no exceptions. but even so, he couldn’t steel himself to go. he no longer wished that a mission would be his last. he relished the feeling. the knowledge that if he made it through the day alive, he could crawl back into his futon beside masachika. he could listen to him talk for hours, he could watch the expressions morph so quickly, gaze at those eyes that had once been filled full of concern all for sanemi. and something about being able to relive the little moments, if he only clung onto life just a bit longer, was so enticing. so he allowed himself to like it. to like being with masachika. just for a little longer.