#imposter complex

[arrowbrekker]

So I have a god complex, I am completely numb.

[dinaninamartinez]

Ready Enough w/ Tanya Geisler

Ready Enough w/ Tanya Geisler

It’s always such a pleasure to speak on the topic of the Imposter Complex and this time I get to do it with my amazing friend Tanya Geisler. If you don’t know her, you should!

Check out her website to find out more about her.

The next Trans & Gender Identity 101 is on August 10th @ 2pm central. Click here or on the image below to find out more.

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the-goddamazon started following you

wait what

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literally anytime anyone follows me i'm just 'oh don't waste your time, just follow the ppl i reblog instead'

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that dumb essay is still bothering me and it took me all day to work out why and it's because this is my seventh term back at pcc and i've been waiting the whole time for someone to work out that i'm actually a terrible student and validate my imposter complex but instead i keep getting a's

and now i'm taking my fifth history class but from a different teacher and i aced all the quizzes but got like a 78 on the midterm and a 70 on the short essay and finally that validation of my secretly not being very good at this is here

and i'm actually like 95% sure that, idk if this guy is just having a bad term and is just as burned out as the rest of us or what, but i'm 95% sure that's a bunch of bullshit

and //that//, that fierce self confidence, the 'no i'm pretty sure i did fine by the assignment actually' is weird

bc everyone in my life is still socializing me to be surprised when i do something right

and it feels inappropriate to stand up for myself

which is why i'm probably not going to contest the point and will just take the grade whatever it is, and retake the class from someone else if it's not up to snuff

but i did the same thing i do on all my assignments, and this is the only time it didn't work, and i'm pretty sure that's not me

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sorry for polluting your dash with my ridiculous face

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i have a headache and i'm not 100% sure i'm communicating at an adult level right now and i should probably just go fold my laundry

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well that was anti-climactic

got my first shakespeare essay back in class this evening, and seeing a paragraph of notes on the back from the prof, after being convinced i flubbed it (haven't written an essay since 2001), i put it into my folder and refused to look at it until tomorrow.

but i couldn't go to bed not knowing how badly i messed up, given i have to write a better one this week, so i looked.  and he noted a couple of stylistic errors and a couple of typos and mentioned that i went a little off-course in the third paragraph and i got an a-.

so thanks, tumblr, for keeping me sharp.

now my imposter complex will convince me that he was being kind or had low expectations bc greendale.

i think i went pass/no pass (and no passed) my dostoevsky class before i had to actually write anything on the books i hadn't finished, but i don't remember.  i should go look that up.  also they should never have let me in.

though shakes professor pointed out that when he first went to school, he didn't get a lot out of it because he didn't put a lot into it.  when he went back ten years later, he ended up with a doctorate in english.

girl in class - what can you do with that?

prof - this.  this or drive a cab.