Summary: The night before the newborn battle, tensions between Jacob and y/n come to a head, will he choose to stay, or to go?
warnings: Injury, vampires, medicine, blood
A/N: hey yall! i’ve decided to do a sort of re write of the ending of eclipse and a few other scenes from the movies with a y/n x Jacob plot! All of them will be part of a larger series but can be read as standalones if you like. More to come soon!
I stood outside of Jacob and Billy’s little house with Jake's big jacket over top of me. I hadn't even realized I was wearing it until I was standing here outside his door. The cracked red and brown of the door slowly opened to Jake's face, brows furrowed, tilting his head down to see me standing at the bottom step.
“y/n/n? What are you doing here?” He held the door partially open and for a second I wondered if he might not let me in. That I even had to consider that told me I was right to be here.
“It's freezing, come on, get inside” He closed the door behind me and helped me shrug off the oversized jacket of his that I was in, layers and layers of sweatshirts and long sleeves underneath. I stood there in the hall waiting for Billy to roll up and say hello until Jacob grabbed my hand and led me to the living room.
“He's not here, I dropped him off with the Clearwaters so he doesn't spend tonight all alone”
I kept my head facing down and waited for him to ask me again what I was doing here. I may have made the initiative to come but for some reason I hated the idea of being the first one to speak.
“y/n/n? What are you doing here?” I could have sworn I heard the wind outside stop as if it were catching its breath, waiting for me to answer.
“I can't let you go when we're like this, Jake. I can’t let myself move on and plan a fucking battle when you’ll barely even look me in the eye. If we are going to fight then I need to know what's waiting for me on the other side.” I didn't wait for him to respond or question me but just plowed ahead.
“I don't want you to go with Bella, Jake.”
“No. No you don't- and let me finish- If this is going to be your last night, do you really want to spend it with her? Do you really want to put yourself through the pain of watching her and Edward together when you could be with me, with the pack that needs you? With your family?”
“I have a duty to protect her.”
“Protect her from what? What could you save her from that Edward can’t!” I didn't mean to raise my voice. But there it went.
“For christ's sake y/n, from Edward. Alright? I have to protect her from him!”
“Jacob, she loves him! Can't you just be happy loving me? Is that not enough for you? Why can't you just let her go?” He stopped. Head bowed down as a single tear ran down my cheek.
“Then why won't you stay?”
“You know these past few months I have been tearing myself into pieces.” I let the silence sink in before I finally let out the secret I had been carrying with me for so long.
“I know we’re imprints Jacob! For months I have been agonizing. Making sure that what I was feeling wasn't fake, waiting for you to man up and come to me, tell me yourself. Waiting for you to let yourself be happy. Not all of the women in your life are bound to die and leave you heartbroken and alone! Some of us want to stay! Some of us are here and alive now and love you! why can’t you just fucking see that?”
The second I said it I knew it was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here. I should have just let him go.
But what if he dies tomorrow? What if he leaves tonight and the last thing I've said to him is this.
A familiar old car pulls into his driveway. The engine sputters out. Jake is already heading toward the door, silently telling me exactly what his answer is. He doesn't look at me. Doesn’t speak as he grabs a bag and slings it over his shoulder, puts a hand on the door.
“Jake-” and just like that he’s gone.
Alone in a house that smells like him I began to sob. How could I have said that to him? After knowing what I do? After being with him through all of the heartache and pain? What had I done?
But somehow I moved. I dragged out the supplies from Billy's closet. The ones I had brought along in my car. I moved around setting up cots and blankets and basins of water. I didn't stop until I barely recognized the room I was in earlier. A different hand knocked on the door. This time I knew who it was and at least I didn't have to dread this.
“Hey pup” Seth Clearwater walked through with a small backpack hanging from his hand.
“I told you, I'm not a pup, I'm practically full grown!” for the first time in hours my heart lifted a little.
“Mhm, you can tell that to the baby blanket in that bag of yours.”
The rest of the boys slowly trickled in through the night, everyone gathering at our new homemade sick bay. We decided to go back to Emily and Sams place for the night, spend the night there as a pack- as a family- and those of us that were not fighting would head back up in the morning. I dreaded being with them all night. I knew that all of them had heard what I said to Jake. Probably hated me for it more than I did. But not Emily. Never Emily.
“Oh baby. Sam told me what happened.” The second I stepped into the house she was on me, gripping me so hard I could barely breathe. I had thought I was going to be able to hold it together. I had done so well with all of the boys, even when they stared and frowned like they couldn't believe what I had said. Something about Emily always made me feel loved. Known. Like no matter what mistakes I made or stupid shit I did she would always be there to help me out of it. And she had been, at least so far.
“I can't believe myself, Em. God knows what's going to happen tomorrow and now I've gone and made him think about that? What was I thinking? What if I was wrong?”
“Hey. No, none of that, he knows you didn't mean it.” Sam entered as Emily released me and took the bag from my arms.
“Really? Is he saying that or are you just trying to distract me?” He laughed and kissed Em on the cheek.
“Really. Of course he's hurt but he could never hate you. He knows that you were just trying to keep him safe.”
A little knot in my heart unraveled at that. Hours of crying and wondering put to a stop by just one sentence. Thank god for wolf telepathy.
“Thank you, Sam. thank you.” He gave me a curt nod before heading to the kitchen with the other boys, probably going to eat all of whatever Emily made for dinner. She stopped me before I could walk off to the guest bedroom.
“Eat with us, please. I promise after that I'll let you go be alone for a while, but just tonight, I want us all to eat together, okay?”
A few minutes later we were sprawled out in the living room, paper plates filled with chicken and rice and corn all over the various surfaces. Despite what Sam had told me I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something going on with Jacob. Not just that he was mad at me for what I said, but something beyond that, something weird was happening on that mountain right now.
“What is it? What aren't you guys telling me right now?” they all looked over at me for a second, but turned their heads to Sam almost in an instant. The alpha looked back and was clearly having a silent conversation with the younger wolves before he nodded and began to speak.
“Jacob and Edward are…at odds.”
“Okay? They always are, that isn't something new, what's going on up there, Sam?”
“Jacob’s in bed with her. Just keeping her warm, I swear to you, but he knows that it would kill you to hear that.”
Boy was he right. It did kill me. All of that tension Sam had relieved earlier was right back again. A heavy sinking feeling in my chest. I was quiet for a moment while I looked out the windows at the dark woods.
“I think I'm going to go to bed. Don't tell Jake please, okay?” they nodded as I went off to the room.
Once I was alone there was no stopping the trails of tears down my face. Still fully clothed I fell onto the bed and could feel the warm sheets beneath my head begin to dampen with my tears. I could hear the pack laughing and conversing in the living room.
I was alone here, and terrified. Knowing that I was tied to him in every way possible. Knowing that he might not want to be tied to me. What would I do if he rejects this? This feeling inside me that never seems to dull no matter how angry I was or how far he goes. I would be alone again, so alone. While Jacob was with Bella, keeping her warm and safe, I was alone and cold in this bed, wondering what the next day would bring.
