This is going to come off as really egotistical or selfish or any other fancy definition of psychology term that you want to use but I'm not happy with the content that I'm making. It could be because I'm a perfectionist, it could be because I have crippling self-hatred and doubt, but I feel like I’m not “useful” to the community anymore
When I first started this, it was a very niche community. Many people had written fanfiction of their favorite characters, but not a lot of people had voiced them so I started voicing them. I gain traction and in time I got a Fanbase, which was great, but the whole reason I started my blog wasn’t to gain a Fanbase. It was to make content because there was not content of my favorite characters. In doing so I inspired others not to make blogs and PLEASE DO NOT take this the wrong way. I am absolutely thrilled that people have come out of their shells and started recording character wavs. Something that I might have inspired them to do or at least shown that it is possible I can never feel bad that I inspired that, but as the years go on the more I see other accounts are getting traction just like I had when I first started and I am staying where I am.
here is where I’ve been struggling with my mental health, am i egotisical for wanting that recognition or am I just a human who craves some recognition because I’m lonely and have no self-esteem? It’s a very fine line and it’s very hard to navigate this line. It’s like walking a tightrope and I feel like I’m constantly being thrown to either side and falling because of that I’m not in the right mindset to create the new content I want to. I want to do make things again, I did it in the first place because they were characters whom I love that have no content for
I don’t do this for attention, but some small part of me, which is turning into unfortunately a large portion craves that attention and you can call me a selfish attention-seeking whore. I just want to explain what is going on in my mind.
