A tale of two dinners: lessons in not being a sales douche
I was at INBOUND 2014 recently. It’s an inbound marketing conference in Boston that HubSpot puts on every year. This year, there were over 10,000 attendees who were, on average, around the age of 35. It was hipster paradise, to say the least.
But I don’t want to talk about INBOUND in this post. I want to talk about sales. I’m not in sales, but I witnessed more situations than I ever cared to where sales got in the way of making genuine connections with people. After hearing so many sessions and keynotes about inbound marketing, the methodology behind it, and what sales should be, I started comparing what I was hearing to what I was seeing. It was depressing, discouraging, and a disgusting display of bullshitting and ego stroking. It wasn’t inbound and it wasn’t what sales should be.
So, I’m going to tell you two stories about two dinners that happened. There are plenty more examples I can think of, but these were the main situations that had me dwelling on what sales and marketing should be versus what they oftentimes are about.
The one with the BAHSTON accent
There’s a table occupied by 5 or 6 people. A couple people from a marketing agency end up at the table next to them. The guy closest to their table notices their conference badges and strikes up a conversation. Since he’s from the area, he asks where they’re from, how they’re liking Boston, and mentions that he owns his own software company just outside of the area. He happens to be in town because his marketing agency* invited him and a few of his co-workers to the conference for the day.
And then he makes a comment about how he doesn’t get this marketing stuff. To him, it’s all fluff. Pink slime. But as long as he doesn’t have to do any of it himself and it gets him sales, he’s fine with it.
The marketing agency folks chime in with generic suggestions of content and how he should know his audience. They talk about their services. They talk and talk, almost as if they are trying to come up with an on the fly, skeletal outline of a strategy. Just enough information to attempt to entice their prey to bite. See how knowledgeable we are? Here’s a peek at all the shiny things we can offer!
Some business cards are exchanged after a while, goodbyes are said, and the Bostonian et al. go off on their way.
High fives all around! What a great sales pitch! Aren’t we so great at making connections??
The one with the tableside guacamole service
Two strangers meet up at the conference. They’re on their own for dinner and decide to go grab a bite together.** They talked about marketing and the industry, about the conference, and everything that comes with wearing many hats in a job position.
But at some point between the tableside guacamole service (yes, you read that right) and the main course, the conversation became more than marketing best practices. They talked about interests. Yoga. Comic books. Their hometowns and families. They exchanged their favorite yoga music even before they exchanged business cards and connected on LinkedIn.
So what? Both dinners ended with an exchange of information. Connections were made. Business cards were exchanged. They both worked out, right?
The difference here is the motive. What should sales (or even marketing, for that matter) be about? Relationships. Real ones. There’s no reason to meet new people if all you’re going to do is bullshit and try to manipulate them into converting. You won’t be seen as trustworthy or someone who will be enjoyable to work with if you start looking like a used car salesman.
Genuine relationships matter. Taking an interest in someone else matters. It’s not about you. It’s about connecting with someone else and learning how you can be helpful. That’s not to say that revenue isn’t important. But you get there by listening (not hearing. Listening) to others and trying to help them solve their problems. You build trust by listening, helping, and having transparent relationships with people. As I heard recently, listening is your best content strategy. Trust will rule the world.
I’ll admit that I’m not a salesperson. I hate sales. With enough years of retail and sales support behind me, I’ve lost all ability and will to slap on a smile and bullshit my way through a transaction. I can’t even fake it long enough with people I only partially dislike, let alone strangers I’m supposed to woo for the sake of my livelihood.
As someone who does believe in the inbound methodology, I think sales needs to be more. It’s time to strip away the manipulation, phoniness, and selfish plugs. It’s time to start caring about what people need and trying to help them, rather than only make a buck off them. It takes more effort. It takes research, listening, communication. It takes seeing a prospect as more than a retainer. It takes building trust and having a real, genuine relationship with another human being.
*Two things about this: 1. He made it clear that after using a few other agencies, he’s quite happy with the one he’s with now. 2. People from said agency are definitely at the table with him.
**Disclaimer: They followed the crowd to a popular restaurant that many other conference attendees were headed to. So, before you start sounding like my mom and screaming that it’s dangerous and it sounds just like that one story you heard on 20/20 recently, I swear on all 20/20 episodes and all Lifetime movies that this was a completely safe situation. Seriously, Mom! GOD!
