❝ you look more dead than alive. ❞ she remarked, after a thorough observation of frida. this time however, this wasn't meant to be understood as a compliment. from wednesday's perspective, they looked terribly dreadful. definitely worse than that time the two of them met under rather unpleasant circumstances. ❝ what happened? ❞ she queries, taking one step forward towards frida. who am i supposed to kill were the words burning on the tip of her tongue, yet words she never uttered.
the taste is still in their mouth sour, sweet, smokey. glass pops, flame flickers, smoke billows. eyelids shut, skin creasing as they clamp tighter and tighter. it was all evidence, right ??? bodies are evidence, and this body would mean the fall of an empire ... and their own untimely death. frida was never meant to kill. they never have. they’ve injured, they’ve fought, they’ve kicked the living shit out of a few folks, sure. he pounded at the glass, tried the handles, tried to kick his way out. with a gun to their head, they struck the match and set the car ablaze.
a rite of passage, she was told. kill or be killed, dog eat dog, survival of the fittest, but the killer, the dog who eats the other dogs, the fittest, all have a fucking gun. she has a family who needs her. it’s supposed to be justified he’s been killing since before she was even born, he was dropping bad batches in the streets, he was going after wives and kids. hands shake, stomach turns … they will try to convince themself as much as they want, but the smell will never go away.
“ it’s in my clothes, it’s everywhere, i ” frida chokes out. voice wavers, finger curl, nose crinkles, eyes widen. cognac couldn’t fix the pit in their stomach. “ i’m supposed to drive. i’m supposed to be a bodyguard every now and then. i never signed up for this ”
a fuckin’ harsh reality, isn’t it ??? fingers rake through hair and pull, spine twisting as she keels over. jamie is in school, probably in fifth period, toiling over an AP history test or something like that. he doesn’t know a thing. he doesn’t know anything, except that she won’t be home for dinner. as far as he’s aware, she’s working another back-to-back shift. but alas : “ i had to i had to kill him. it was him or my brother. and they probably would’ve made me watch. ”