>Glacis: Troll incisiveMiscreant.
— dauntlessTracker [DT] began pestering incisiveMiscreant [IM] at 11:53 —
DT: —)- are you playing the game too
IM: That would be a correct and somewhat obvious assumption, yes.
IM: Please inform me that you are neither a moron, a buttwhipe, or insane.
DT: —)- last time I checked I wasn’ any of the above
DT: —)- and who are you supposed to be
DT: —)- are you a troll or a human
IM: I’m a human. I can deduce from your use of symbols at the beginning of your messages that you are a troll.
DT: —)- that would be a correct and somewhat obvious assumption
DT: —)- here we can play a fun game
DT: —)- confirm the obvious
DT: —)- I’m guessing that you already escaped the meteors
IM: Your imitation as a use of mockery is amusing, but not very witty. And yes, I have.
IM: I don’t like games, though. And given our situation, it’s impractical, you lousy scrotum monkey.
DT: —)- now that’s just uncalled for
DT: —)- and here I thought you humans were supposed to have better manners
DT: —)- although I’d say you’re shit out of luck if you don’ like games, considering that we’re stuck in the middle of one
IM: This game can be taken more seriously, I believe. And well, yes, I’ve been informed that trolls are more antagonistic than humans, but given our world has been destroyed I don’t see the use in manners any more.
DT: —)- what the fuck is a scrotum
IM: …I really don’t want to explain that…
DT: —)- is it something embarrassing
IM: I will simply state that it is a part of human male genitals.
DT: —)- I’m learning so much already
DT: —)- thanks I’ll save that for later
DT: —)- you used it as an insult right
IM: Oh, you wish to learn human insults and utilize them.
IM: That makes much more sense.
DT: —)- what else did you think I meant
DT: —)- answer my question
IM: I thought my subject change was clear evidence of that.
DT: —)- did you think I meant that I wanted to own a human scrotum
IM: No, that would be a ludicrous notion.
DT: —)- because I can’ think why I’d ever need genitals
DT: —)- human genitals that is
DT: —)- then what did you mean
DT: —)- gods do all humans evade questions as often as you do
IM: Well, they are used for the reproduction of human species and aren’t even useful for sexual gratification (at least, not that I’m aware of), so I would assume a troll wouldn’t need them.
IM: This is a very tricky subject, of course I’m evading!
DT: —)- anatomy isn’ a tricky subject
DT: —)- what are you, a wriggler
IM: Is that supposed to be a troll insult?
IM: Have you already forgotten the cultural differences between our species? Are you sure you’re not a moron?
DT: —)- the larval stage in a troll’s life when it possesses six legs instead of the older troll’s two
DT: —)- also known as a grub
DT: —)- and I’m not the one who brought up scrotums
DT: —)- so let’s not point fingers here IM
IM: You’re the one who keeps pressing it though!
DT: —)- you mean the scrotum
DT: —)- I’ll drop it if it makes you that uncomfortable
IM: THE ISSUE NOT THE ACTUAL BODY PART.
DT: —)- wait what’s the issue
DT: —)- holy shit use your words
DT: —)- explain things like a normal sentient being
IM: You are a extraordinarly frustrating you fetus glob.
IM: It’s an underdeveloped, unborn baby while it is still within its mother’s womb.
DT: —)- human biology makes no sense
DT: —)- is there only one fetus
DT: —)- is a single fetus born at a time
IM: Unless there are twins, yes, you ignorant butt wipe.
DT: —)- that’s so inefficient that I’m surprised your species isn’ long dead by now
IM: Actually we thrive as the dominant species on our planet.
IM: Though I do wonder how evolution hasn’t killed more than half of us off.
IM: Many people were so stupid it hurt.
DT: —)- so are you pleased about the game
IM: I don’t have any strong feelings about the game.
IM: I try to limit my emotional capacity, as they can be highly inconvenient and impractical.
DT: —)- more importantly, where are you right now
DT: —)- and have you seen anyone else
IM: I have not encountered any of our teammates in person, no. As for my location, Foxsprite tells me we are in the Medium, as others on our team have suggested, and that I am on a land that is specific to me.
IM: I do like this land though, I have no desire to leave it.
DT: —)- so is everyone split up then
DT: —)- well, not that that’s a problem for me
IM: I am under the impression that we are, yes.
DT: —)- but if rumor has it, not everyone has the best survival instincts
IM: Rumor? Has gossip begun already? Interesting, that was rather quick, especially considering our circumstances.
DT: —)- so let’s hope that no one’s done themselves in yet, huh
IM: I believe one has died, but I am skeptical.
IM: It’s hard to explain, to be honest.
IM: Mostly because I do not fully understand the situation.
DT: —)- there you go again
DT: —)- did someone die or not
DT: —)- it’s not a trick question you moron
IM: Actually, given the circumstances, it is tricky.
IM: Supposedly he has died and is possessed by a demon.
IM: I find this hard to believe though.
IM: I assume he has a mental disorder and his mind is split into two personalities.
DT: —)- we still technically have the player right
DT: —)- he’s not actually totally obliterated right
DT: —)- so as long as the demon or alternate personality does his job we’re not fucked yet right
DT: —)- I can’ believe someone DIED ALREADY HOLY FUCKING SHIT
DT: —)- what were they doing
IM: Well, yes. I mean, he is extremely hostile. Apparently he already wants to kill me, but I digress.
IM: He was a giant fucktard though.
DT: —)- okay well whatever we can deal with that
DT: —)- half of everyone probably already wants to kill each other anyway
DT: —)- but who was a giant fucktard
DT: —)- the player or the demon
IM: It would be a bit hasty to want someone dead after we have just met, though.
IM: Actually quite a few people are.
IM: Namely the pretend demon.
IM: And this purple blood guy.
DT: —)- yeah fuck him he’s an idiot
IM: Ah, finally I have met someone who can agree on this!
DT: —)- he was asking for advice about moirails or something, as though there isn’ anything more important to do
DT: —)- it’s another troll that keeps you on a leash, I guess
DT: —)- stops you from doing anything that might cause too much damage to yourself or anyone else
IM: Do you mean a literal leash or are you being figurative?
DT: —)- it’s a figurative leash you idiot
IM: Shut up slut gobbler, I am not to blame by the common use of confusing figurative speech.
DT: —)- that’s a good one
IM: The purple blood seemed to enjoy my insults to.
DT: —)- I’ll take that one if you don’ mind
DT: —)- who doesn’ want to learn new curse words
DT: —)- but anyway, fuck, what was I saying
DT: —)- your stupid leash comment got me off track
DT: —)- oh right the moirail thing
DT: —)- he’s more worried about his own (granted, pretty fucking unstable) mental condition than he is about alternia being blown the fuck up
IM: Actually these are not curse words. If you wish to use human curse words, you should speak to the piss drinker, Bob.
IM: Well, your world is gone and there is nothing to do about that except to possibly recreate it through the game, correct?
DT: —)- but I’m not going to dance a fucking jig about it
DT: —)- like that douchebag
DT: —)- basically jizzing everywhere
IM: Is mental instability common among trolls?
DT: —)- highbloods tend to get anger issues, wouldn’ you know
IM: I see. And as a purple blood he is referred to as a highblood?
IM: Are you, being a blue blood, also considered a highblood?
DT: —)- anything from my caste and up is a highblood, although I guess maybe you could fit teal in there too if you wanted to
DT: —)- but as you get to the end of either spectrum you get fucking weirdos
IM: I see, so then you consider pretty much your entire race to be, er, “fucking weirdos”?
DT: —)- so good old seemos is right up there on the crazy dipshit end of the rainbow
DT: —)- well I wouldn’ say that
DT: —)- but the extremes can get pretty fucked up
IM: Yes, he was a bit unstable. And I had the impression that he got along well with the other unstable troll.
DT: —)- I haven’ talked to any other ones yet
DT: —)- there was the sponge girl
DT: —)- but she doesn’ count
IM: Is that Carada? And you refer to her a sponge girl because she prototyped her sprite with a sponge because you were rushing her?
DT: —)- what did she tell you
IM: You were rushing her because of the limited amount of time, so she prototyped her sprite with a sponge.
IM: Actually, I rather like her. She is neither a moron, insane, nor a buttwipe.
DT: —)- she was poking along like she had all the time in the fucking world
DT: —)- and unlike some people
DT: —)- I was actually watching the fucking clock
DT: —)- so I told her to hurry up and throw something in, and she chose a sponge
IM: It sounds as if she was skeptical about the ordeal, so I assume she did not act as though she was, in fact, in immediate danger.
DT: —)- I guess she didn’ notice the fucking meteors heading towards her hive
DT: —)- yeah that’d be a problem
IM: Apparently she was under the impression that they were somehow fabricated.
IM: Skepticism is useful, though I agree in that case it was foolish.
DT: —)- don’ get me wrong, I don’ mind skepticism
DT: —)- when it actually makes sense to be skeptical
DT: —)- but anyway, whatever
DT: —)- I guess she’s still alive so she can’ be that much of a slut gobbler
IM: She’s very pleasant, actually. Much better than the other jizz globs.
IM: Well she has so far proven she is neither insane, a moron, or a buttwipe.
IM: That’s more than I can say for most of the others.
DT: —)- you mentioned that
IM: It’s an impressive feat, all things considering.
DT: —)- being able to wipe the drool off of your chin and do your job is impressive
DT: —)- not being a fucking idiot should be a minimum requirement, not something to laud
DT: —)- if seemos was anything to go by
DT: —)- rational though might be in short supply
IM: Er, yes, I have caught onto that possibility, too.
IM: I believe that, with our group, we are not going to be very fortunate though.
DT: —)- why do you say that
IM: Well, I have thus far spoken with two who are mentally unstable. Another who is timid to a fault and, er, may have been given some pessimistic notions. One of our humans is lucky to be alive, to be quite blunt, another seems to be a bit of a…the only word I can think to use is “pansy”. And Bob has some horrid priorites and they must definitely need sorting.
DT: —)- you’ve done a lot more talking to the rest of them than I have
DT: —)- but for all of our sakes I hope you’re wrong about them
DT: —)- still, can’ exactly blame you for being pessimistic
IM: I have been informed that I should attempt to socialize and consort with our teammates.
IM: But the amount of idiots among us…
IM: Well, it’s almost physically painful.
DT: —)- I keep telling myself as long as they don’ die somehow we won’ go extinct
DT: —)- but then I remember that one of us already did fucking die
IM: Perhaps extinction is good in this case.
IM: That is insensitive and bad to say.
IM: Ah, I was expressing that I was under the impression that stating there is a possibility that extinction would be for the best is insensitive and, simply, bad.
DT: —)- okay so calling me a scrotum monkey was perfectly acceptable
DT: —)- that makes perfect sense
DT: —)- anyway, I don’ really care
DT: —)- you don’ have to censor yourself when you’re talking to me
IM: Apparently saying such things is a sign I have no morals or ethics.
DT: —)- I’d agree with you if it weren’ so fucking depressing
DT: —)- actually we might be kind of fucked over already, but who knows
DT: —)- unless we have a jadeblood
IM: How does a jadeblood alter our current situation?
DT: —)- well, it doesn’ matter to you humans at all
DT: —)- so consider yourselves unfucked
DT: —)- but trolls have sort of special caretakers that look after the mother grub
DT: —)- and she gives birth to all trolls
IM: Oh, I see. That is quite interesting. Your species really do seem to be insectoid. Actually, to be frank, it’s fascinating.
DT: —)- you humans have individual mother grubs, don’ you
DT: —)- and you’re born one at a time
DT: —)- now that’s some weird shit
DT: —)- but you are aliens after all
DT: —)- so who even fucking knows
IM: May I inquire as to your appearance?
IM: I have been informed you have horns.
IM: Beyond that, I do not know.
DT: —)- yeah trolls have horns
DT: —)- we have hair I guess or fur or whatever you humans call it
DT: —)- we’re bipedal in our adolescent and adult stages of life
DT: —)- most of us have fangs
DT: —)- oh yeah and horn shape is always different
DT: —)- depending on the troll
DT: —)- I don’ know, that’s about it off the top of my head
DT: —)- what do humans even look like
IM: Oh, well, we are also bipedal, and yes we have hair. Though we do not have horns, nor fangs. Actually, there isn’t anything interest about the appearance of humans, in my opinion. I suppose I could be biased.
DT: —)- how many eyes do you have
DT: —)- do you have the same number of fingers on each hand
DT: —)- there must be some difference
DT: —)- otherwise you’re just fangless, hornless trolls
DT: —)- and that’d be a pretty fucking underwhelming alien species
IM: Two eyes, five fingers on each hand.
IM: We may be an underwhelming alien species, then.
IM: Apologies for the disappointment.
IM: Horns and fangs are a possibility, but they are extremely rare genetic anomalies.
DT: —)- aliens in pictures and stuff are always some weird fucking color like blue or green or something
DT: —)- are you blue or green
IM: No. Our skin colors vary slightly. Some are a pale, some tanned, some very dark, but usually shades of peach, tan, sometimes brown.
DT: —)- oh fuck difference spotted
DT: —)- I knew there must have been something
DT: —)- trolls all have grey skin
DT: —)- blood color shows through in the face sometimes but for the most part trolls are the same color
IM: I see, that is interesting. Our blood does not show at all. Well, I suppose some of our veins are visible where skin is quite thin, but they do not appear red. I cannot remember the anatomical explaination for this.
DT: —)- you mean your blood is red
DT: —)- are all humans like that
IM: Yes. If there is every prejudice, it is based on other factors.
IM: Such as skin color, religion, sometimes even something as stupid as sexual orientation.
IM: Humans are morons, typically.
IM: Hence why I am not too disappointed by the concept that our species is gone.
IM: OH WAIT, NO, THE KITTENS.
IM: I forgot, the species of animals has been wiped out and this means no more kittens!
DT: —)- ah fuck you’re right
DT: —)- damn, some of the species we had on alternia were fucking amazing
IM: This is very depressing to think about.
DT: —)- if I’d known this was going to happen I would have tried to get more for my collection
IM: You collect other species from your planet?
DT: —)- well, parts of them, anyway
DT: —)- I used to hunt for all of my food
IM: That sounds very troublesome.
DT: —)- it wasn’ that bad
DT: —)- at least I was able to actually do things on my own, you know
DT: —)- like you should have seen some of those city trolls
DT: —)- they couldn’ wipe their own ass without an instruction manual
IM: I wish I could say differently for humans. Actually, very few knew how to hunt, and even then it was out of sport.
DT: —)- I swear, of all the hobbies to have, sport hunting is the stupidest one
DT: —)- you kill something and then you don’ even fucking use the parts for anything
IM: It is a pure disgrace.
IM: My mother had to get after so many people for trespassing in the past.
DT: —)- I hoped she kicked their asses
IM: Sometimes she pressed charges and they were fined. Otherwise, no. She was a strong believer in only utilizing her fighting skills when necessary and not out of anger.
IM: She should have kicked their asses.
DT: —)- that’s the only way for assholes to ever learn
IM: Even then, some diaper globs don’t learn.
DT: —)- and that’s when you kill them
IM: Unfortunately, murder is a very serious crime among humans.
IM: I suppose this is where morality and ethics are in place. Humans place a lot of value on human life.
IM: Is it different for trolls?
DT: —)- depends on caste I guess
DT: —)- no one gives a fuck if a dozen or so rustbloods get culled, really
DT: —)- since they’re the working class and there are a fuckton of them
DT: —)- but if a purpleblood gets killed somehow it’s more of a big deal
IM: I see, so the highbloods are rarer and thus more valuable to your species.
DT: —)- they’re also stronger than lowbloods by a pretty huge margin
IM: Ah, that was what the purpleblood had said.
IM: Or rather, bragged about.
DT: —)- yeah being at the top tends to inflate their egos
DT: —)- they’re not invincible though
DT: —)- they just think they are
DT: —)- still, if someone in a lower caste murdered someone in a higher caste and they got found out
DT: —)- there would be hell to pay
DT: —)- so no one ever risked it
DT: —)- unless they were sure they could get away with it
IM: Hmph, so highbloods are allowed to be pompous diaper flaps because they know very few would dare kill them?
DT: —)- that’s basically the way it goes
DT: —)- it’s pretty fucking stupid
DT: —)- don’ get me wrong, being strong is a fine way to control someone
DT: —)- but death is cheap
IM: I don’t understand how death is inexpensive.
DT: —)- they could slip and break their necks, or get eaten by a pack of wild animals, or let their guard down and get murdered by someone else
DT: —)- it’s a metaphor, champ
DT: —)- I mean that it’s easy to die
DT: —)- easier than some highbloods think
IM: Oh, I see. Yes, I do agree with that then.
IM: Not to mention, it is not a wise idea to be an insufferable ass fungus and tempt people into killing you.
IM: The purpleblood I spoke with clearly does not understand that.
DT: —)- yeah that’s exactly what I mean
DT: —)- he’s got no discretion
DT: —)- people like him give everyone a whole world of reasons to be pissed off with him
DT: —)- and then they get cocky and assume that no one will ever challenge them
DT: —)- or that if someone does challenge them, they’ll be able to win easily
IM: That is very true. I would bet that he ends up pissing someone off enough to kill him within a few days.
DT: —)- like I said, the gene pool is shallow enough already
IM: I honestly couldn’t agree with you more.
DT: —)- do you have enough humans to reproduce
IM: Yes, though I really, very strongly, do not want to reproduce with any of them.
IM: Oh, seriously, no, never.
DT: —)- would you have to couple with several humans
DT: —)- trolls are a sort of genetic combination of many different pairs
DT: —)- so I guess you could say that it’s possible some of us share genetic donors
DT: —)- although I guess really, all of us technically come from the same mixture so who even fucking knows how ‘related’ we are
IM: Really? That’s interesting. Humans are able to reproduce with one other human. Also, it is not a good idea for humans to mate with others who are genetically related to them, as this will cause genetic faults.
IM: I’m pretty sure reproducing with any of the others will cause faults, too.
IM: Yes, human reproduction is very weird.
IM: And a little unfair, if you ask me.
DT: —)- you mean because you only have two genetic donors
DT: —)- that does seem pretty fucking unfair
DT: —)- the mixture fro trolls is supposed to produce grubs that have the best genetic attributes of the pairs that contributed
IM: No, it’s more that women have to carry most of the burden. Men only need to ejaculate.
IM: Oh, that does sound extremely useful.
IM: Which part of my statement confused you?
DT: —)- oh you mean you mean the birth
DT: —)- but it’s only one
DT: —)- the mother grub births tens of thousands of grubs
IM: It’s still very taxing for women individually. I am under the impression that perhaps the mothergrub has a much more durable body than a human female.
DT: —)- yeah I’ve never seen her obviously
DT: —)- but they say she can lay eggs like no one’s business
DT: —)- maybe it’s the live birth that’s the problem for you
DT: —)- humans should have gone with egg laying
IM: I think that human reproduction could have been handled better in many ways.
DT: —)- sounds like your species got the short end of the stick there, champ
DT: —)- only two genetic donors, the mother grubs can only birth one at a time, it’s hard for them to do it
IM: Yeah, it really sucks.
DT: —)- without the mother grub we’re not going nowhere, reproduction-wise
IM: Oh, well, that does cause a bit of a dilemma for you.
DT: —)- but then again AGAIN
DT: —)- as long as there’s no mother grub I don’ even have to contemplate shacking up with anyone
DT: —)- so that’s a temporary bonus for me
IM: Okay yeah, you are really lucky there.
DT: —)- gotta cut my losses somewhere
IM: If I had better candidates, I would feel better about the situation.
DT: —)- well for now anyway, we don’ have to bother with this shit
DT: —)- better save our own asses before we start talking about preventing extinction, right
DT: —)- well I guess saving our own asses kind of is preventing extinction
DT: —)- but you get what I meant
IM: Yes, I understand. Fortunately it seems as though, at least right now, we are not in any immediate danger.
IM: These little monsters don’t pose much of a threat.
DT: —)- yeah they’re not tough to kill
DT: —)- everyone should be able to handle them
IM: I have my doubts about one or two, but they are still alive so I suppose they are capable of this, at least.
IM: I suppose it would be foolish of my to hope that the monsters continue to be easy to dispose of.
DT: —)- yeah my guess is it’s only going to get rougher
DT: —)- have you been outside of your hive yet
IM: Yes, but I have not ventured far. My, er, hive is situated on the side of this mountain and it is not very easy to traverse. Especially with the icy metal plates.
IM: Though it’s fun to slide imps off of.
DT: —)- yeah I haven’ actually left yet
DT: —)- I’ve been trying to figure out these machines
IM: Oh, the ones that were deployed? I was under the impression they were only useful for allowing us to escape our doomed planet.
DT: —)- I think some of them were
DT: —)- like the crux thing
DT: —)- I can’ get it to do anything else, so I think it only had one function
DT: —)- the totem thing is the same, probably
DT: —)- but the alchemiter is different I think
IM: Unfortunately my skillset does not include understanding machines, so in this case I have little to contribute.
DT: —)- when I was the server, I noticed there was an item that I couldn’ build yet
DT: —)- so there must be something else that we’re missing
IM: Oh, I think I am familiar with what you’re speaking of. You could be correct.
IM: These items are frustrating though. I think I would rather push imps off the mountain.
IM: I suppose I can’t always have my way though.
DT: —)- killing the little monster things might actually come in handy
IM: Yes, they also drop items which are useful.
IM: Maybe I should stop with my method of killing them then…
DT: —)- the bits that come out of them are important, I think
IM: I hope that doesn’t include this weird slime stuff.
DT: —)- I didn’ realize it until recently but
DT: —)- I’m pretty sure I saw an icon that looked like the hexagonal things in one of the SGRUB menus
DT: —)- so maybe it’s used for something in game, I have no fucking clue
IM: Oh, our game is called SBURB.
IM: And, er, Carada mentioned that there were hexagonal items called grist.
DT: —)- oh is that what the bits are
DT: —)- enemies drop that shit
IM: I believe it is common in video games that enemies drop items which are useful to the player, so that would make sense.
IM: Fuck, I shouldn’t have been pushing imps off the mountain that much.
DT: —)- seems like they just keep coming
DT: —)- I doubt they’re a limited supply
IM: That is a good point. I wonder if those wolves have any useful items, too. Or if they at least know what to do with them. Foxsprite mentioned they should be helpful.
IM: Oh, right. They are predatory mammals who are expertly skilled at hunting.
IM: Actually, I would have to say, they are, well, very cool.
DT: —)- sounds like animals where I lived
DT: —)- if they’re anything like that, yeah
DT: —)- they must be pretty fucking cool
DT: —)- I haven’ seen anything living besides the little monsters
DT: —)- but I haven’ gone outside, so I guess I can’ call that a surprise
IM: I am under the impression each land should have animals, which are “consorts”. They are supposed to assist you on your quest.
DT: —)- I guess I should get around to that soon
DT: —)- well that’s something worth knowing
DT: —)- what happened to your lusus
DT: —)- your mother, right
IM: Oh, yes. Um, I actually…do not know.
IM: I have not seen her since this morning. I do not even know if she was in the cabin when it was relocated.
DT: —)- the lusii of the trolls I’ve talked to are all dead
DT: —)- or at least hopefully he is by now
IM: Oh, my apologies for the loss of your guardians.
DT: —)- I don’ know if he is or isn’
DT: —)- he wouldn’ have wanted me to check
IM: Why do you hope he is, though? Was your relationship with him difficult?
DT: —)- but that’s not why I hope he’s dead, it’s just that
DT: —)- if I went to him and tried to help, he’d hate it
DT: —)- he doesn’ like to be pitied, probably
IM: I see. Well, that is admirable, in my opinion.
DT: —)- that’s why I’m not going to bother him
IM: That’s very respectful. If it is any consolation, I am sure he would appreciate it, even if he had to die a slow painful death.
DT: —)- you know, it’s funny
IM: Er, how is it amusing?
DT: —)- I wouldn’ have expected an alien to get itt
IM: Oh, this is a common relationship among trolls and their lusii?
DT: —)- everyone is different, I’m guessing
DT: —)- since lusii are can be different from troll to troll
IM: That sounds reasonable.
DT: —)- I guess there’s no point in dwelling too much on it
IM: I doubt other humans would understand, though.
DT: —)- you seem like kind of a special case
DT: —)- maybe that’s why you get it
DT: —)- but fuck, I usually don’ talk this much
DT: —)- I should get back to work
IM: Oh, yes, we have been talking for quite a while. I did not intend to distract you from your work, sorry.
DT: —)- don’ worry about it
DT: —)- I was trying to kill a little time anyway
DT: —)- I didn’ get your name
IM: My name is Andi. Yours?
IM: I can honestly say it was a pleasure to meet you.
IM: Usually when I say that it’s partially a lie and only for pleasantries.
DT: —)- yeah, I’m actually pretty fucking surprised to be saying this but
DT: —)- it was good to meet you too
— dauntlessTracker [DT] ceased pestering incisiveMiscreant [IM] at 23:40 —
