Dealing with Incompetencies and Identity
So around March, I had my parents ask my high school about the GPA verification form - because my account for Cal Grant said that my school hadn’t submitted one in for me yet. But when my parents went to the office and asked about it, the school insisted that Cal Grant was only granted to those who are planning to go to community college - which I’m sure wasn’t true. I called them back to confirm what my parents had relayed to me was true, but the counselors didn’t pick up. So I assumed that perhaps, the school did send in the transcripts, but the government hadn’t received it.
So today, or to be precise, the government shot me an e-mail saying that my school did not send that GPA verification form. So I called today, and the lady told me that I had to apply for the GPA verification form in order for the school to send it over to the government. I was so fucking pissed. Because she kept insisting that I had not applied for the GPA verification form or asked for it. I had. The school denied me the form. I know that those who submit a late GPA verification form get less money for college.
And in the midst of my tantrum, I started to realize how many political barriers come in between people like me and higher education. I started thinking about those who were first generation students, who don’t know how to navigate through the college system - with no prior models and family members to turn to, how are we supposed to know how to manage our path to college. As someone who have parents who don’t speak English, how am I supposed to have my parents file these types of paperwork that they know nothing of? How are they supposed to receive adequate amounts of resources and help, if they don’t know how to communicate in English? As a child who knows nothing about the world, how am I supposed to help my parents? And as someone who goes to college miles away from home, how am I supposed to be there to file the paperwork? It’s so frustrating to me that all these factors, these components of my identity have rendered me useless. I was so frustrated and angry with my circumstances. I shed tears of frustration thinking about it.