#incorrect jfk

[theclassclone]

JFK: Everyone, synchronize your watches. Confucius: I don’t know how to do that. Vincent: I don’t wear a watch. CJ: Time is a construct.

[theclassclone]

JFK: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.

Joan: What the fuck?

Confucius: He's having an idea.

[theclassclone]

[The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting. Confucius walks in and sits on JFK’s lap]

The Squad: ...

Harriet: Why are you sitting there?

Confucius: There’s no free seats!

Harriet: But we made sure there was enough room for-

JFK, hugs Confucius tightly: There are no!!! Free seats!!! For!!! My!!! BEST!!! FRIEND!!!

[theclassclone]

Topher: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars? JFK, looks at Confucius: Uh, you stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we can, er, buy a big-ass house! Abe, shakes JFK: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. JFK, eyes sparkling: Good idea! Topher: That's actually really smart.

[theclassclone]

Joan: Today I learned that Yankee Doodle was written by the British to mock Americans. 'Doodle' is thought to come from the German 'Dödel', meaning 'fool' or 'simpleton', and 'Macaroni', meant a flamboyantly stylish type of dress. This painted the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one's cap made them a 'dandy'.

Frida: So, you're telling me that 'stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni' would be like saying 'wrote a G on his belt and called it Gucci'?

Cleo: That's... a pretty good comparison, actually.

Joan: Yeah, that's exactly what I mean.

Confucius and JFK, immediately, to the tune of Yankee Doodle, Fortnite dancing: US moron came to town / Hunting for some coochie / wrote a G up on his belt / And this bitch called it Gucci.

[theclassclone]

JFK: I'm just going to say it. Modern sci-fi isn't, uh, gooey enough anymore. No one is floating in the goo tank! No one is, uh, snoozing in the slime tube! Bring back the, er, sludge!!!

[theclassclone]

JFK: WHAT'S YOUR, UH, TYPE?

Ponce: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially.

JFK, desperately, as Ponce bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE!!!

Ponce: Oh! B positive.

JFK: DON'T TRY TO, ER, CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE, PONCEY!!!

Ponce:

[theclassclone]

JFK: Hey, uh, wanna hear a funny joke?

Scudworth: I only like dark humor.

JFK, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle?

JFK: An IMPASTA!

Scudworth: Get out of my office.