#incorrect kindergarten

[felix-huxley]

Felix: [Stubs his toe] FUCK!

Ted: Mind your language!

Felix: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”?

Ted:

Felix: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

[cringenamehere]

Bob: what scares you the most?

Cindy: sharks

Nugget: the unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death

Ozzy: Nugget

[literally-grass]

In gym class:

Teacher: Hey Kid!

Teacher: Stop holding hands!

*Confused looks from everyone*

Teacher: With Billy!

Teacher: You can do that in your own time!

This isn’t that funny but this happened in real life with some dudes on my team and it was actually hilarious so I want to immortalize the moment by posting it here:)

[felix-huxley]

Felix: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Ted: Twelve, actually.

Felix: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Ted: Yours!

Felix: That's right: no one's.

[felix-huxley]

Ozzy: We’re screwed.

Ted: Hey, no. I don’t want to hear that defeatist attitude. I wanna hear you more upbeat!

Ozzy: We’re screwed!

[felix-huxley]

Cindy: If I were not a holy woman, I would beat you senseless.

Jerome: But... You're not.

Cindy: ... [Arming a punch]

Jerome: [Screaming]

[felix-huxley]

Billy: Petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday. Nugget: Wednesay. Billy: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible.

[felix-huxley]

Cindy, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Buggs, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

Kidd: What the fuck are you guys doing?

Cindy: Playing systemic oppression.