#incorrect lower decks

[autisticboimler]

Mariner: *Pitches an idea*

Rutherford, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Boimler, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

[autistic-boimler]

Boimler, to the LD crew while lying face down on the bed, regretting everything: And then I called him dad.

Shaxs, to the Bridge crew while trying not to cry: And then he called me dad.

[sativasweetie1031]

Mariner: That means I can only speak truth, and that comes with good and bad news.

Boimler: Alright, give me the bad news.

Mariner: The bad news is that you must be turned into a statue and stay that way for 80 years in an alien world.

Boimler: So, what's the good news?

Mariner: Jennifer and I are having fantastic sex.

[autisticboimler]

Mariner: I need to dye my hair.

Boimler: ...

Mariner: Or get another tattoo.

Boimler: ...

Mariner: Or a new piercing.

Boimler: Why?

Mariner: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.

[autisticboimler]

Boimler: Mariner.. I'm gonna cry!

Mariner: Please don't.

Boimler, crying: Request denied.

[autisticboimler]

Mariner: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

[autisticboimler]

Tendi: Oooh, a train!

Mariner: We’re in a train station, Tendi.

[autisticboimler]

Boimler: So I’m the only one around here who can clean up, huh? You can't even lift a finger?

Mariner: Do I get to pick the finger?