Mini and Moni in a nutshell


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Mini and Moni in a nutshell
Can I come over ? [Pjm ff]
Synopsis : It really shouldnβt bother you that Mia βthe new girl in your Physio classβhas suddenly taken an interest in Jimin. It doesnβt. It shouldnβt. Itβs none of your business, after all. You couldnβt care less. At least, thatβs what you tell yourself βright up until she shows up with that hopeful smile and asks you for advice on how to win over her crush. And suddenly, youβre gritting your teeth. You donβt care. You really donβt. β¦So why does it bother you so much? -> Or, alternatively, a story told through so much gossip it stops making sense in the end.
Pairing : Park Jimin x reader (one shot)
Genre : College au, secret fuckbuddies to lovers, love triangle (not a real one but still) miscommunication, ANGST, bits of fluff, smut
Word count : 18,3 k
Warnings : Miscommunication, lots of angst and bits of fluff (not kidding like 75% angst 15% smut 10% fluff), annoying side characters but Hobi is the sweetest, smut (oral (both but m more described) sex in different positions, vanilla (kinda ???? Idek), some fingering and lots of whining, I kinda suck at writing smut pls don't come at me), minors dni!
Authors note : Le me on a random thursday night : "hey let's write something short real quick" (... ;n;)
An2 : anyway lol hope you'll love this fic for my precious Mini as much as I do :)
Gentle reminder that all rights are reserved, so please do not copy, translate or repost my stories under your name. Also I do not own BTS or their actions, the stories are entirely fictionnal and does not depict real-life events or involve any actual member of BTS.
βMiaβs got a thing for Jimin,β Noelle leans in to whisper in your ear right in the middle of an awkward silence during physiology class.
Of course, she says it at the exact moment you're wondering βfor the hundredth time this hourβ what the hell you're even doing here, while the professor has ordered complete silence so you can work on an exercise you donβt βunsurprisinglyβ understand at all.
You never shouldβve ended up in physiology in the first place. You got stuck in this class because of a registration error at the start of freshman year βand out of sheer loyalty, Noelle signed up for it the following semester just to be with you. Probably the nicest thing anyoneβs ever done for you. You donβt think she realizes how grateful you are βyou wouldnβt last a minute in this hell on your own.
βWhat?β you mumble back, completely lost. Rubbing your eyes, you silently pray she doesnβt take offense at your frown and suddenly blurt something out way too loudly, like she usually does. Noelle isnβt exactly subtle, and if she accidentally shouted right now, youβd both be stuck in detention every evening for the rest of the week.
βMia. The new girl,β she whispers, like itβs obvious. As she leans over to scribble a calculation on your paper βthe one youβve been pretending to work on for at least twenty minutesβ your gaze drifts toward the front row, landing on Miaβs perfectly tight red bun.
From where you're sitting, you only see her back and the side of her face, but itβs enough to make out her lifted chin, straight nose, and soft, rounded cheeks. Like always, sheβs sitting perfectly straight, her neck slightly tilted as she looks down at her sheet. You canβt see her eyes, but you know sheβs completely focused on the exercise. Sheβs probably the only one.
βA crush on Jimin? Seriously?β You murmur, unconvinced, frowning. Mia shares most of her classes with you and Noelle, which is already odd enough, but since she showed up a month ago, youβve barely paid attention to her βand nothing about her has ever suggested she might be into Jimin.
Then again, sheβs pretty discreet. Always polite, so small and slight you barely notice her most of the time, and constantly buried in her notes βyouβve probably exchanged, what, seven words with her at most.
Youβve seen her with a few friends here and there, but never with guys βor even just Jiminβ and sheβs clearly not the type to show up at parties. Honestly, she strikes you as the kind of girl who puts her studies first and everything else second. Aside from her notebooks, she doesnβt really look at anyone, anyway.
βMhm,β Noelle nods quickly, completely certain. Eyebrows raised, she absentmindedly picks at her nail with the cap of a Bic pen. βTrust me, Iβm never wrong about this stuff.β
You raise an eyebrow, unconvinced. She just rolls her eyes in response.
βOkay, fine,β she finally sighs. βI heard her telling her friend during the break that she wants to ask him to the movies. But shh,β she adds, a hint of a grin tugging at her lips.
You let out a quiet laugh, shaking your head. She really is such a little snoop.
The rest of the class goes by in relative silence βmuch to Noelleβs frustration. She doesnβt have any more information on Mia and her crush, which, for someone as nosy as her, is practically an insult. She keeps muttering that sheβll investigate on her own, frowning.
It makes you smile faintly, but you just nod and stifle a yawn. Like everyone, you like gossip βbut you much prefer it when Noelle does the digging and brings it to you.
Still, when the professor finally dismisses the class, you find yourself lingering. And before you can stop it, your gaze drifts back to Mia.
Youβd think, after spending this long with Noelle, youβd have learned that curiosity only leads to trouble βyouβve lost count of how many times sheβs dragged you into a mess chasing the latest rumorβ but you canβt help it.
You donβt know how to explain it, but thereβs something about this girl that unsettles you. Intrigues you.
As usual, she doesnβt pay attention to anyone βnot even her supposed crush. She barely glances at him. Doesnβt look at you either, even though you're standing right there in the middle of the room. She just packs her things and disappears into the hallway.
You lean slightly to follow her with your eyes, but within seconds sheβs gone, and soon you canβt even hear her footsteps anymore.
Thatβs when Jimin catches your attention instead.
He didnβt look at Mia βbut he mustβve felt you staring, because two rows ahead of you, he turns and glances over his shoulder. At first, he looks surprised to find you already watching him, but then his face breaks into a wide smile that crinkles his eyes.
You donβt smile back. You just nod when he gives you a small wave βand somehow, his grin only grows wider as he shakes his head.
Not the least bit bothered, he heads out with his friends.
You stay there for a moment, leaning against the table, staring into space.
Mia and Jimin. Itβsβ¦ weird. Normally, you're the last person to care about this kind of thing, but this time, itβs like you keep getting stuck on it. Theyβre so mismatched you canβt even picture it.
βWhat were you doing?β Noelle asks when you finally join her in the hallway.
Your eyes fall on Jimin again, a little further ahead, smiling at something one of his friends said.
βNothing,β You answer absentmindedly, frowning.
In your head, you try to imagine what a Jimin-and-Mia relationship would even look like. You can barely form a clear picture βand when you do, you end up grimacing. It feels even less believable.
But then again⦠why not?
βWhere did you put your chemistry notes again?β Noelle grumbles, lifting piles of papers one after the other.
βYou took them likeβ¦ two days ago.β
She looks up, frowning when she sees you glued to your phone. Finals are less than a month away, and letβs just say you wouldnβt exactly suffer from doing some serious studying. βWhat? No way.β
βYes way. I remember.β
She clicks her tongue, then turns to Hoseok. βGive me your notes.β
At least he makes the effort to look up from his screen. βWhat notes? Iβm always asking you for yours.β
βI suck at chemistry, I always take Y/Nβs,β she shoots back, pointing at you. Hoseok shrugs, and you sigh, already opening your mouth to explain that you probably left them at the apartment βbut you're cut off by a sudden throat clearing.
In unison, the three of you look up at the newcomer βand you have to summon all your self-control to keep your eyebrows from shooting into your hairline when you realize itβs none other than Mia standing there, her round glasses perched high on her nose, just big enough to hide the redness of her cheeks.
Behind her, looking almost nervous, is another girl about her height with short brown hair βyou quickly recognize her as one of the friends Mia usually hangs out with.
Her eyes land on you, and she offers a soft smile. βAre you studying for the chemistry finals? Would you mind if we joined you?β she asks, her voice full of hope. βWe just transferred into the section, and we wouldnβt mind a little helpβ¦β
Behind her, her friend nods vigorously. You stay frozen like an idiot, unsure what to say. When the silence stretches a little too long, Noelle turns toward you, lips parted, brows slightly drawn together βthe exact look she gets when she smells gossip. You only notice because you know that look by heart, though : to anyone else, she just looks surprised.
Hoseok, on the other hand, is terrible at poker face: when he turns to you, he looks downright horrified, and you wince without meaning to.
Itβs not that you donβt like Mia βshe unsettles you, and you canβt quite figure her out, but you're not about to refuse her a seat at your table. And Hoseokβs never even met her, so itβs not like he has a reason to dislike her.
What you donβt like, though, is the idea that she came over expecting you all to magically guarantee her a good grade.
Someone should probably tell her that Noelle and Hoseok systematically copy your notes because they understand absolutely nothing βdespite the fact that your own grades are barely enough to scrape through the semester. And judging by the look Hoseokβs giving you, you get the feeling that someone is supposed to be you.
Except Mia flashes the shyest yet brightest smile youβve ever seen βand you cave. βOf course. No problem!β
They sit down with you, relieved. Hoseok shoots you a death glare, while Noelle looks delighted, like sheβs already plotting the best way to pry information out of Mia. Because for all the talk she never stops about it, days have passed, and Mia and Jimin havenβt spoken βor even crossed pathsβ once.
At first, you actually try. Noelle βcoachesβ them on how to take proper notes βwhich turns out to be completely useless, since Miaβs notes are ten times cleaner and more relevant than yoursβ and Hoseok tries to answer a few of their questions, before inevitably turning to you for silent help.
Barely ten minutes in, you realize theyβre both adorable βand Mia even helps you understand a few points youβd completely missed. Hoseok and Noelle just nod politely, fully aware theyβll just βborrowβ your notes later anyway.
You're still proud of the three of you βyou last almost two hours before giving up. Mia and her friend keep working quietly, but you and Hoseok have long since gone back to your phones, resuming that stupid game youβre obsessed with, while Noelle is back to squealing about some senior girl and whatever βinsane thingβ she supposedly did at the last partyβ¦
At some point, Miaβs friend surprises everyone by offering to go grab sandwiches βdespite having been silent until now. You start to get up, but quickly notice Mia doesnβt move at all. Feeling oddly sympathetic, you sit back down and send Noelle and Hoseok with her instead, after making them promise to bring you something.
They walk off chatting, and silence settles over the table again, broken only by the low hum of studying around you. The lounge in Building D isnβt your favorite place on campus, but youβll admit βitβs the calmest spot if you actually want to focus. Youβd never get this kind of quiet at your apartment, especially with Jβ
βYou know if Jimin has a girlfriend?β
Miaβs voice shatters the silence, and you freeze.
On your phone screen, the dumb mobile game keeps running on its own βbecause you're too stunned to move a single muscle.
Slowly, very slowly, you lift your head.
On Friday afternoons, these lounges are always half-empty βthatβs why you come hereβ but suddenly, the room doesnβt just feel quiet. It feels mute. Like everyone else has disappeared, leaving you alone with Mia and no way out of answering.
βUhβ¦ no idea,β You mutter after a moment, nervously chewing on the end of your pen. βWhy are you asking?β
Behind her oversized green glasses, Mia blushes, a shy smile tugging at her lips. Clearly, she hasnβt noticed your heel bouncing under the table. βOh, umβ¦ just wondering,β she says, and you frown. Why do you hate that tone? And why do you get the feeling she waited for Noelle and Hoseok to leave for this?
βI meanβ¦ heβs so handsome, and nice, but I never see him with any girls, so Iββ
βMaybe heβs just gay,β You cut in, annoyed, letting your pen drop onto the table with a sharp clack. You hate people with assumptions like that.
She freezes. Even from the corner of your eye, you can see her go pale. βOh,β she says after a few seconds βmore than enough time for you to lose interest and go back to your game.
When she speaks again, her small, shaky voice almost makes you roll your eyes. βYouβ¦ really thinkβ¦?β
βNo,β You sigh. βMia, why are you asking me?β
Itβs not like youβre friends. Honestly, this might be the most youβve ever spoken.
You can see her twisting her fingers under the table, but you say nothing. Partly because your own restless foot isnβt much better. Partly because you already know why sheβs nervous. Mostly because you just donβt care.
Mia isnβt your friend. Not even close. You're already being nice letting her use your notes βyou're not about to give her flirting advice too.
Still, she doesnβt give you much choice.
βWell, I heard you were friendsβ¦β
She pauses, waiting for you to confirm it. You just raise an eyebrow. βWe had the same classes in first year,β you mutter. Thatβs all. Thatβs enough.
She looks surprised, like she expected more βbut you donβt have more to give. Your relationship with Jimin could be summed up like that: you had the same classes in first year.
βIβd like to ask him out,β she finally admits, her face turning so red you briefly wonder if sheβs having an allergic reaction. She bites her lip, nervous. βBut it scares meβ¦ every time I see him, I completely lose it. Seriously, he must think Iβm an idiot βI canβt even get three words out. Do you think I have a chance?β
For a second, Mia softens you. Just a little. Sheβs almost endearing like that βclearly flustered, clearly sincere. The way her eyes light up, the blush on her cheeksβ¦ she really likes him.
She looks like a teenager with her first crush.
It would be cute βif you were still in high school.
But youβre not. You have finals in less than a month, and if someone has to play cupid, youβd much rather it be Noelle. You have absolutely no time for this.
Still, you choose your words carefully.
βIf he does have someone, heβs keeping it secret,β you shrug. βBecause I havenβt heard anything.β
You almost regret it βbecause her whole face lights up.
She opens her mouth to speak, suddenly excited βbut right then Noelle and the others come back, and she freezes.
You donβt know if itβs your expression Mia misses or just her own excitement, but Noelle looks at you suspiciously. You subtly shake your head, exasperated, and take the sandwich Hoseok hands you as a distraction.
They barely sit down before Mia starts whispering with her friend, both of them giggling with sparkling eyes βand this time, you canβt stop yourself from rolling your eyes.
You knew you shouldnβt have answered.
Noelle and Hoseok obviously notice, and Hoseok lets out a quiet snort, one eyebrow arching in amusement. Noelle, realizing sheβs missed part of the story, looks personally offended and nudges you with her elbow, her eyes firing off a very obvious silent question βunlucky for her, subtlety has never really been her thing.
Miaβs friend catches the exchange. Her hand immediately comes down over Miaβs, and Miaβs mouth snaps shut.
Noelle smiles sweetly like nothing happened, but an odd chill settles over the table, leaving all of you too awkward to speak βand Miaβs friend doesnβt look remotely ready to stop glaring daggers at you.
You spend the rest of the hour in silence. You clear three levels on your game before getting bored.
βCall later?β Noelle throws over her shoulder as you step out of the building, already heading off toward her place βin the exact opposite direction of yours. You nod automatically, flashing her a thumbs-up before going your own way. Hoseok left earlier to pick up his boyfriend at the bus stop, and by the time you decided to call it a day and head home, the whole ridiculous situation had completely slipped your mind.
Which, clearly, isnβt the case for Mia.
Like any self-respecting model student, she lives right on campus. That part, you already knew βitβs not exactly hard to figure out. The only people who manage to show up every single day and actually be on time are the ones who live there.
What you didnβt know, though, is that the path to her building just so happens to be the same one that leads to yours. Youβve barely taken a step when she slips her arm through yours.
βSoβ¦β she starts, before you even have time to process the sudden closeness. βThe girls he dated before βwhat were they like? Should I be direct, or take it slow? And do you thinkββ
βHey, hey, relax. Breathe,β you grumble, your irritation snapping back in under a second. She takes it as a joke and laughs softly, but she does calm down a little.
She has a pretty laugh βthe kind that rings like something straight out of a TV showβ and as much as that alone annoys you, you still prefer it to her endless stream of questions.
She keeps firing them at you until you canβt even remember what she started with. You grit your teeth and answer them one by one, reminding yourself over and over that in five minutes youβll be home, everything will be fine, and she wonβt be glued to your side anymore.
Honestly, you can help her a little, right ? A few tips here and there never killed anyone βand itβs not like you're personally invested. Like you keep telling her, you donβt even know Jimin that well, and everything you're saying could be found in under a minute on Google.
Once sheβs satisfied with your pathetic answers, sheβll leave you alone, you guess.
βI was thinking of asking him to the movies βwhat do you think?β she finally asks, looking at you with wide, uncertain eyes.
Internally, you sigh. You're tempted to explain that for a first date, sitting in a dark room for two hours without being able to talk is the worst idea possible βyou speak from experienceβ but you donβt. Because suddenly, the student housing building is just a few meters away, like salvation finally within reach. So you take a deep breath.
βYeah. A movie sounds perfect.β
Your small smile seems to convince her. She beams back at you, lighting up entirely, and you almost feel bad. She looks like a kid full of dreams.
βOh my God, thank you, thank you, thank you! Youβre saving my life!β she gushes, over and over. For a second, you're afraid sheβs going to throw herself at you for a hug βbut she doesnβt. She just flashes you one last huge smile before disappearing into the building.
You wait until sheβs out of sight before letting out a long breath.
Automatically, you head home, distracting yourself by replying to the memes Hoseok sent you βeach one accompanied by about ten completely nonsensical emojis.
Coming home always feels like freedom, but today, after Miaβs forced interrogation, it feels even better. Noelleβs already bribed you over text to spill everything, which you fully intend to do after a shower βbut for now, you just want to unwind. You're not particularly antisocial, but you really donβt enjoy being dragged into other peopleβs drama like this.
The sound of the door slamming behind you, the feeling of finally kicking off your shoes βitβs heaven.
A very short-lived heaven.
Barely ten minutes later, your phone buzzes on the couch.
Mia added you as a friend! the notification chirps cheerfully, like itβs mocking you.
You sigh slowly. Then, after a brief moment of deliberation, you follow her back βif only because Noelle already does.
Deep down, sheβs not a bad person. Justβ¦ a little too much.
You donβt even have time to put your phone down before a message pops up.
Hello Unnie! Thanks again for ur advice, u have no idea how much it reassured me! Iβll try to ask him tomorrow, fingers crossed! <3 <3 <3
You hate that you smile at it. Hate that you care enough to read it twice. Hate that you're already starting to type a reply. You hate playing hypocrites.
But you donβt even get the chance.
Before your thumb can hit send, someone pounds on the apartment door so hard you jump like an idiot.
You grumble under your breath βcanβt even get a moment of peace at home, for Godβs sakeβ before setting your phone down and slipping on your slippers to go open it.
The door swings open, and there he is: messy brown hair, angel face. His eyes darken the second they meet yours, a smile tugging at the corner of his perfectly plump lips.
Slowly, he leans against the doorframe, closing the distance until your faces are just inches apart, your noses almost brushing. You sigh softly βalmost on instinct. Itβs always the same, and somehow you're still surprised to find him here.
βYour roommate home?β he asks, like he always does, his voice rougher than usual. A little breathless, too.
You shake your head slowly. βHeβs at his boyfriendβs. Wonβt be back until tomorrow.β
A wicked smile spreads across his lips, his eyes narrowing into crescents. He doesnβt need to hear it twice.
You barely finish speaking before his hand finds your waist, and then Jimin is kissing you βfull on.
He exhales against your lips like heβs been waiting for it all day, and the reprimand you had ready dies on the spot. You let yourself go instead.
You let him take the lead as he pulls you closer, his tongue dragging yours into a frantic kiss. Let him take over as he kicks the door shut behind him and lifts you up, your legs wrapping around his waist.
He doesnβt need directions. Eyes closed, he crosses the short distance to your room βheβs walked this apartment so many times he could do it blind.
Your phone keeps buzzing on the table where you left it βbut then Jimin tosses you onto the bed and buries his lips in your neck, and nothing else matters.
Nothing but his mouth, his warmth against you, the scent of him wrapping around your senses.
βSafeword?β he murmurs against your skin, his hands already finding every spot that makes you shiver.
A smile slips out before you can stop it.
βSame as always.β
βWell, looks like her little situation is going pretty wellβ¦β
βHm?β
You lift your head, frowning. Across from you, Noelle is lazily sucking on a lollipop, her gaze drifting over the courtyard. It almost makes you snap.
Your binder sits open on your lap, filled with notes and scattered exercises she hasnβt even glanced at. You know math isnβt her thing and sheβs already accepted sheβs going to fail her finals, but she could at least pretend.
You ? Youβve been doing nothing but studying βfor days. At first, you thought you had time βbut it caught up with you fast, and now youβd settle for just passing. Even barely passing would be fine, honestly.
With all that, you barely get time to breathe βexcept for the nights you see Jimin.
βWhat situation?β you mutter, scratching your chin, trying to refocus. Thinking about him definitely wonβt help your grades.
βMiaβs situation,β Noelle shoots back, pulling the lollipop from her mouth to point in Miaβs direction.
You follow her gaze easily βMia and her friends are sitting by the fountain, giggling. And yeah, the redhead looks thrilled.
You hate how fast your mood drops.
βOh, that? Yeahβ¦ itβs going somewhere,β you mumble, dropping your eyes back to your notes, a heavy feeling settling in your stomach. It takes you less than a second to decide you hate it.
Noelle perks up instantly. βWait, you know something?β
A hint of a smile tugs at your lips, but you have to force it into existence. βYeah. Though Iβd be surprised if I know more than you.β
βGo on.β
You make a face, thinking back to all the late nights she kept you up texting for advice. All the times she caught up with you after class just to gush about the latest update. All the times βalmost every timeβ she made you reassure her for minutes on end that her outfit was fine, that she wouldnβt say something stupidβ¦
Just thinking about it gives you a headache.
You shrug. βShe asked him to the movies, then for ice cream. I think he walked her back after class, andβ¦ they went to the fair, I think?β
Noelleβs eyes practically pop out of her head. βWow, seriously?!β
When you nod, she turns back to the group with an impressed whistle. βDamn, that was fastβ¦ Honestly, when I heard she wanted to go for it, I didnβt believe it. I mean, Iβve never seen Jimin in a relationship, ever βbut hey, good for her. Sheβll have to teach me her techniqueβ¦β
You could just ask me, you almost say βbut you bite your tongue in time. You've passed the age for being petty.
βSo what do you think?β Noelle asks after a few seconds.
Sighing, you hesitate.
For a split second, you want to admit that your stomach twists every time you picture Mia and Jimin together βso badly itβs hard to swallow.
But you donβt. Partly because that would take way too much explaining. Partly because you're ashamed of it.
So instead, you mumble, βShe really seems to like him. Good for her, I guess.β
Noelle nods, still watching the girls, slowly sucking on her candy.
You wait a few seconds, then drop your gaze back to your notes, ignoring the dull ache tightening in your chest.
Later that afternoon, as you leave your last lecture, Noelle suddenly freezes βthen shoves you against the wall, out of sight.
You groan, already starting to complain, but one look at her face tells you this isnβt the time βso instead you lean in to see what has her so shaken. You donβt have to search long.
A few steps away, thereβs a redhead you know very well now βand a tall, lanky boy with messy brown hair.
She says something you canβt hear, nervously pushing her glasses up her nose. Even from here, you can see her cheeks flushing ridiculously fast.
But thatβs not the worst part. The worst part is the way Jimin smiles back.
A huge, genuine smile that stretches across his entire face βpaired with a soft laugh thatβs usually just for you.
βI canβt believe it, theyβre so cuteβ¦β Noelle whispers, completely smitten as something in you breaks.
All you can do is nod, jaw tight as you ignore the punch sinking deep into your stomach.
βMind if I join you?β
βAre you kidding? Of course not!β Noelle blurts out before you even get the chance to react, pushing her bag aside so Mia can sit with you.
If Hoseok notices the way you tense up, he doesnβt say anything. Instead, he leans closer, his voice soft as he keeps trying to walk you through this stupid math lesson. You keep your eyes firmly fixed on his notebook, on the words he points at, doing your best to ignore how his shoulder brushing yours here and there feels like some kind of protective shield.
Unfortunately, Hoseokβs quiet voice isnβt enough to drown out Noelle and Miaβs chatter.
βHonestly, I could really use some help with chapter six in chemistry. I joined late, and itβs complete gibberish to me!β
Your best friend falters for half a second βbut Noelle being Noelle, she recovers instantly. βNo one gets it, donβt worry. I was already planning to ask one of the nerds in our group for their revision notes. Namjoon probably wonβt agree, but with a bit of luck, Jimin mightβ¦β
You can practically hear her face lighting up.
βNow that I think about it, you could even put in a good word for me! You two have gotten pretty close, rightβ¦?β
Hoseokβs finger freezes on the page, and you both look up at the same time. Once again, if he notices your leg bouncing under the table, he doesnβt comment.
βWellβ¦β Mia smiles, flushing with obvious pleasure. βYeah, I guess you could say thatβ¦β
Noelleβs grin is so bright it could blind someone. βCome on, spill the tea!β
Mia has the decency to hesitate for a second βthough itβs pointless, because the very next moment sheβs already rambling.
βHeβs so sweet, seriously! Like, perfect! Every conversation with him is super interesting, heβs funny, polite, and thoughtful βoh my God! The other day, I told him I had this super stressful test, and he remembered! He asked me how it went that same evening! And when we went to the fair, it was insane, he practically fought me so I wouldnβt have to pay!β
They both dissolve into excited giggles, completely wound up βNoelle going on about how completely smitten Jimin must be, and Mia marveling at how lucky she is.
They clearly donβt give a damn about the poor students at the nearby tables who are actually trying to study for finals, because soon enough, the two girls are all you can hear βand they donβt even seem bothered by it.
What bothers you is that you canβt breathe βand that you canβt stop listening to Mia at the same time.
You thought you knew how far things had gone between them.Β
Clearly, you were wrong.
A warm hand suddenly presses down on your knee, holding it still, and thatβs when you realize your leg has started bouncing twice as fast. The look Hoseok gives you is just as warm and steady as his hand βbut itβs not enough to calm the storm in your chest or the punches landing in your stomach.
He raises an eyebrow, a silent question in his eyes, and seeing his confusion makes you realize just how bad you feel.
You feel sick.
βHonestly, I owe it all to Y/N. I donβt know what I wouldβve done without her advice, really.β
The storm inside you doesnβt settle βand yet you're swept into another the very moment you hear Mia say your name.
The next second, Noelleβs inquisitive gaze is locked onto you, and you feel like youβve just been shoved under a spotlight. βReally? I had no ideaβ¦β
βI didnβt do much,β you mutter quickly, brushing it off with a wave of your hand.
βAre you kidding?β Mia exclaims, almost offended. βIf you hadnβt suggested it, it never wouldβve crossed my mind to take him to a romantic movie. He loved it!β
Next to you, Hoseok frowns βyou can tell heβs holding back a comment. Anyone who knows Jimin knows he loves romance stories. His favorite movieβs The Notebook, after allβ¦
βAnd that time you told me to go stargazing after the fair! Seriously, genius idea βI still get butterflies just thinking about it!β
Mia keeps going, listing every single suggestion you gave her βfully aware Jimin would love themβ and you feel like you're trapped in an endless tunnel.
Like you canβt move, canβt do anything except stare at the exit without ever reaching it.
Hoseokβs hand tightens slightly on your knee. You know heβs trying to catch your eye again, to ask you that silent question βbut you canβt.
All you can see is Jimin smiling at Mia, laughing at something she says. All you can hear is her listing all the perfectly romantic things theyβve done together.
And you feel like you're going to throw up.
You need to get out of here. Now.
As if answering your silent plea, your phone vibrates in your pocket. Once. Then twice.
Hoseok says something you donβt catch, joining the conversation, and you take the opportunity to pull your phone out under the table and unlock it.
For a second, you're almost glad heβs not looking at you βbecause you're ashamed of the way you react to the message on your screen.
Jimin β 8:42 PM Iβm alone at the apartment tonight. Jimin β 8:42 PM Wanna come over?
You know, just from the way something bursts to life in your stomach reading those words, that itβs a bad idea.
But you feel awful. Truly awful. Your chest aches with something you canβt shake βand all you want is a distraction.
And so far, Jimin has always been the best one.
βIβve gotta go,β you blurt out before you can stop yourself, making everyone jump as you suddenly stand up. βI just remembered I need to do some shopping. You can keep my notes if you want,β you add distractedly to Noelle, already gathering your things and grabbing your bag.
Confused, Noelle says something βa string of surprised questionsβ but you barely hear it.
Instead, your eyes find Hoseokβs.
And there it is βthat familiar look. The one that says he understands something no one else has even suspected. The one that made him your closest confidant.
But he doesnβt say anything about it.
βText me when you get there,β he murmurs as you lean down to kiss his cheek, too quiet for the girls to hear. βAnd call me if you want me to come get you.β
βDeal,β you reply simply before waving at the girls and walking away.
Itβs only when you reach the other end of the hall, pushing the door open to slip out, that you hear Noelleβs voice behind youβ
βWhat shopping? I thought you did that yesterday?β
Itβs almost ridiculous how you donβt even need to look where you're going to take the right path.
Youβve walked it so many times over the past three years βeither because Jimin invited you, or because you asked if you could come overβ that you could probably do it with your eyes closed.
Once you get off at the usual bus stop, you just have to walk up the street until you reach the small residence a few meters to the left. Punch in the same code that hasnβt changed in three years β613β then climb the thirteen stone steps, until you land on the soft doormat outside Jiminβs apartment.
And yet tonight, your steps are slower. Almost hesitant.
When you finally reach that familiar doormat, you just stand there like an idiot, not daring to ring the bell.
As if this time were different from the hundreds before.
Back in first year, it used to be almost every night βyou at his place, or him at yoursβ and yet you're just as nervous as if it were the first time.
So much so that when your phone vibrates in your bag, it takes you a moment to gather the courage to pull it out βand once you do, you almost regret it.
Mia β 8:59 PM Noelle seemed a bit worried earlier, I hope everythingβs okay. Also, sorry to bother you so late when you looked really tired, but I was wondering if you could help me. Iβd like to invite Jimin to a restaurant, but Iβm not sure whaβ
You sigh louder than necessary, not even bothering to read the rest.
You literally ran away right in front of her βand sheβs still bombarding you with questions. If she knew where you are right nowβ¦
As if summoned by the thought, the pain in your chest comes rushing back, sharp and sudden, twisting your stomach.
God, if she knewβ¦
You're a terrible person. Listening to her talk about her crush, then coming here⦠you feel awful. Maybe you should just leave�
You swallow and shake your head.
You're just trying to be nice to her. Youβve done nothing wrong.
But if talking to her means feeling like this every single time tho, then maybe itβd be better to cut it off now. You're sure sheβll be fine without your adviceβ¦
Except when you donβt reply, she just keeps sending messages. Over and over, until you snap.
You β 9:03 PM He loves Paris-Brest pastries.
You bite your tongue, immediately regretting typing the first thing that came to mind just to get her off your back βbut as you start writing another message, the door suddenly swings open in front of you .
βI knew I heard something,β Jimin says, a wide grin spreading across his face when he sees you jump back in surprise. Then his eyes linger on your face, softening. βYou okay?β
You stand there, frozen, as breathless as if youβd just run a marathon. Slowly, you let your phone drop back into your bag, forcing a small smile.
βOf course. Why?β
He runs a hand through his messy hair, making it even worse βwhich only makes you want to reach out and fix it. You already know how soft it is.
βI donβt know,β he says quietly, stepping aside to let you in. βYou seemβ¦ somewhere else.β
Immediately, you're wrapped in the scent of cinnamon and wood smoke that fills his apartment. That scent thatβs so him youβd recognize it anywhere.
You sigh softly, setting down your bag and slipping off your shoes with such ease youβd think you lived here. He watches you, arms crossed, his oversized hoodie practically swallowing him whole βsomething that would look ridiculous on anyone else, but on him just makes him lookβ¦ cozy.
Suddenly, itβs hard to remember why you felt so nervous before coming in.
βItβs nothing, itβs justβ¦β you shake your head, wrinkling your nose. βFinals. Iβm stressed, I guess.β
Something flickers in his eyes as you shrug, playing it off, and he steps closer, smiling. βIβm sure youβll get the best grades in the whole class.β
You raise an eyebrow at his teasing grin, studying him as he gets so close you have to tilt your chin up to meet his gaze. βYeah, right.β
βNo, seriously! I believe it.β He laughs, and you roll your eyes, letting him.
βFunny, because I know a certain pain in the ass who never studies and still gets straight Aβs.β
βAre you talking about Namjoon?β
βNo. Iβm talking about you,β you grumble, pinching his cheek. He bursts out laughing.
βHey, donβt be like that βitβs not my fault Iβm a genius!β
βOh, please,β you sigh, pretending to step away βbut he just laughs harder, hooking his fingers into your belt loops to pull you back toward him.
βDonβt be like that,β he repeats, smiling βand somehow, without you noticing how, heβs suddenly so close your chests brush, you can feel the warmth of his hips against yours βyet you donβt want to pull away.
βYou know, even geniuses get stressed about finalsβ¦β
ββ¦Is that soβ¦β
βBut if you insistβ¦β he murmurs, his voice dropping, something darkening slightly in his gaze. βI could help you relax.β
Slowly, his hands slide from your waist to your hips, tracing every curve so gently it sends shivers blooming under your clothes. Heβs so close his breath grazes your skin, waking every nerve βand suddenly, itβs not enough. You want to get rid of these stupid clothes, feel his hands everywhere.
βYouβre pretty bold tonightβ¦β you murmur against his lips, eyebrow raised βthough you canβt quite hide your smile.
βWhat can I say? I missed you,β he breathes, right before crushing his lips against yours.
A soft sound escapes you, caught off guard βbut you donβt hesitate for a second before matching the urgent, almost desperate rhythm of his kiss.
Trapping your lip between his teeth to gently pull, he takes advantage of the moan that escapes you to slide his tongue in until it meets yours. You follow the movement as he licks, sucks, your tongues dancing while your hands explore. His hands slip under your top to find your ribs and graze your breasts, drawing delicious shivers from you, while yours grip his shoulders before sliding down his back.
Then his hands find your hips, making them sway against his, and suddenly you need more.
"Fuck, babe," he curses, right as the bulge against your abdomen makes you gasp.
"Your room. Now." Hurried, you grab the collar of his sweatshirt and help him take it off, drooling as he pulls it over his head and reveals heβs wearing nothing underneath βnothing but his perfectly sculpted torso and nipples hardened by arousal.
Slowly, you swallow. You want to take one in your mouth, just to see his reaction. As if he can read your thoughts, he smiles, winking at you . "Whoβs being bold now, hmm?"
You donβt have time to answer βbecause then he kisses you again, so deliciously that you even forget what you were talking about. Without breaking the kiss, he gently pushes you toward his bedroom, his hands caressing everywhere they can reach βyour ribs, your breasts, your lower back, your butt, as if heβs trying to map the area. His skin is burning against yours, electrifying, and every caress so light that the shivers they create only make you want to snuggle against him, to feel your body fit with his, to have more, more, more.
Your knees hit the edge of his bed, making you fall back with a gasp of surprise, and he leans down to follow you onto the mattress. You stop him, licking your lips.
His mouth opens in a silent question, but your hands have already found the hem of his belt, and you hear him hold his breath, his lip caught between his teeth.
"Take off your top," he sighs as his jeans fall around his ankles. You obey, grabbing your t-shirt and pulling it over your head before tossing it randomly into the room, his gaze almost immediately lost in your bra. As you get on your knees, one hand on his thigh, the sight of his Adamβs apple moving up and down in his throat as he swallows is enough to make your thighs rub against each other.
The air is cold against your skin, but at this moment, you feel like you're burning.
Sliding your fingers under the elastic, you lower his boxers and let it fall with his jeans, salivating at the sight of his member βproudly standing before you, already red and begging for a little attention. Jimin swallows again when you take him gently in one hand, trembling against you as you make a few small up-and-down motions to prepare him.
With your thumb, you spread the drop of pre-cum that escaped before, never leaving his gaze, licking from bottom to top. He groans, already trembling as youβve barely started, and almost gasps when you finally wrap your lips around the tip, taking him in. You suck, gently.
One hand gripping his thigh to steady yourself, you take him in your mouth a little deeper, again and again every second, until your nose brushes the hair at the base of his belly and you have to relax your jaw so you donβt choke.
Then you start again.
Again and again. Slowly at first, taking your time to hollow your cheeks, to slide your tongue underneath just like you know he loves βthen, as his legs tremble and his breathing gets louder, his moans more frequent, you go faster and faster, deeper and deeper.
"Fuck, yes, babe, right there," he hisses, lip caught between his teeth. You can see his abs flex as he slides a hand into your hair, ruining your hairstyle to instead tangle his fingers in the strands and press on your scalp to guide your movements. Pushing on your head, the pace becomes more urgent, clumsier, but better too βhis moans get louder, so sincere and breathless that you can feel your panties dampening.
With your eyes closed, you slide a hand between your closed thighs and sway your hips, welcome the heat pooling there βjust trying to get a tiny bit of friction, toβ¦
"Shit, shit, shit, stop," he suddenly hisses, pushing you away as gently as he can. You look up at him, thighs trembling and lips shiny with saliva, just fast enough to see him swallow, his gaze dark as he devours you with his eyes.
"What?" you blurt out, surprising yourself at how trembling your breath is.
"On the bed," he simply replies, panting. "I need to be inside," he rushes to add, grabbing you by the waist to pull you up before placing you on the bed.
He joins you there as you bounce on the mattress βhis mouth finds your neck, already sucking on a sweet spot under your jaw. While one hand caresses your hip, slides into your back to unhook your bra, the other finds its way between your thighs to your clit, drawing thigh circles on it with his thumb, drawing a surprised moan from you.
"Fuck, Jiminβ¦"
"I know, I know, babe," he sighs against your neck, licking then biting that exact spot between your neck and collarbone that makes you see stars. As he lifts your hips to take off the last few pieces of clothing you have left, he reaches into a drawer with his other hand to pull out a condom. You take it from his hands, opening it with hurried movements to put it on, and he smiles softly when you groan as he slips two fingers inside you, a muffled moan escaping you.
"Jimin," you whisper, your voice trembling. Your walls tighten around him, wanting βno, needingβ nothing more than to finally feel him inside you, filling you completely βbut he gently cuts you off, placing a series of small kisses along your jawline.
"Need to prepβ you," he whispers, looking just as tense and impatient as you, but still so attentive even in moments like this.
"I donβt care, just go," you urge, and he hesitates just a second before obeying.
You moan together as he enters βso thick you can feel your walls shaking around him. He curses, burying his head in the crook of your neck as an anchor, and you can only cling to his shoulders, one hand lost in his messy hair as he sways his hips, pulling out gently before slamming back in, almost hitting your cervix.
Rapidly, the up-and-down of his hips accelerates, encouraged by yours rising and swaying to meet his movements. He grips your hips harder, so hard itβll surely leave a bruise, and leans on his knees for more leverage, hitting points that make you scream against his neck. He just speeds up, goes harder, deeper every time, until you see stars, until you grip his bicep so hard your nails will surely leave marks.
He goes further, faster, deeper every time. Slides a hand between your bodies to tease your clit with his thumb, eyes down to where your bodies meet as if he canβt look away, mesmerized. Your walls swallow him harder and tighter each time as the knot tightens in your lower belly, again, againβ¦
Until it snaps.
You scream his name, arching your back as your head falls back, stars before your eyes, and he joins you quickly, stifling his moans in the crook of your neck, holding himself up on his forearms.
Your chests fall and rise again and again, in unison, and only when his breathing has returned to a roughly normal rhythm does he let himself fall back onto the bed beside you, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
Slowly, when you prop yourself up on one elbow to look at him, he smiles. "Stay the night?" he asks softly, as if saying it out loud would ruin everything.
You smile gently, just before coming to snuggle against him, your head nestled in his neck βand he welcomes you with open arms, holding you tight against him as if his life depends on it.
When you close your eyes that night, you are enveloped in a scent of cinnamon and woodsmoke, and you canβt help but smile.
Waking up at Jiminβs place has always been a little unsettling for you.
Not because you're scared of what it means, or worried you might mess something up βno, itβs unsettling because of how natural it feels.
Like you belong here βin his arms, in this house thatβs far too big for a bunch of broke students. And honestly, itβs almost true. Thereβs a pair of slippers in your size by the door, ridiculously small next to the guysβ shoes, and part of Jiminβs closet is basically yours now, filled with as many of your clothes as there are hoodies and sweatpants youβve stolen from him.
Itβs not that you donβt like it βquite the opposite. Thatβs exactly what scares you.
The idea that one day, just like that, all of this could disappear. Just because one of you meets someone else.
βHere.β He hands you a steaming mug of tea before dropping down beside you on the floor, his thigh brushing lightly against yours. With his own cup in hand, he stretches an arm behind you, eyes still heavy with sleep. βSeriously? Youβre already back at it?β
It takes you a few seconds to react, too distracted by the warmth between your fingers βraspberry tea, your favoriteβ and the look on your face when you finally turn to him makes him laugh softly.
βI donβt have a choice,β you mutter, feigning annoyance, which only makes him laugh harder. βSleeping in is great and all, but Iβve got a semester to pass,β you grumble, sighing as you glance at the dozens of revision sheets spread out in front of you. You're never going to make it in time.
He doesnβt answer, and you jump slightly when, a few seconds later, he rests his head on your shoulder, his half-asleep eyes scanning your notes.
For a moment, you're thrown off by how comfortable it feels to have him this close. His warm breath against your skin, steady and soothing. The way you can trace the clean line of his profile without even trying.
βYou know, if youβre really struggling with physio, I can help,β he says after a while, pulling you abruptly out of your thoughts.
βWhat?β you mumble, then quickly recover. βOh. Yeah βI mean, if you donβt mind, βcourse.β He smiles, and you shoot a slightly embarrassed glance at the mess of papers in front of you. βI donβt understand a single thing that prof says. Itβs a disaster.β
That earns you a quiet laugh before he straightens up βso fast you almost miss the warmth of his head on your shoulder. βItβs easier than it looks. Youβll see.β
If thereβs one thing thatβs clear, itβs that Jimin should become a teacher someday. Sure, half his students would probably end up hopelessly in love with him βif not all of themβ but no one would ever fail.
Thereβs something about the way he explains things, the way he catches your attention and holds onto it, thatβs honestly impressive. He doesnβt show off or talk down to you βhe just reframes things, tries every possible angle until something finally clicks.
And even if itβs not instant, by the time the sun rises high enough to flood the living room with light, heβs pulled off a small miracle: you actually understand the chapter. Not perfectly βbut enough that you might, maybe, survive finals.
Heβs stretching βbare torso, low-slung sweatpants, the whole unfair package on displayβ when the front door slams open and muffled electro music spills in with it. A giant with messy hair falling over his eyes steps inside, unbothered.
He freezes when he sees you, then arches a brow as he pulls his headphones off. βOh? The girlfriendβs back?β
βTaehyung,β Jimin clicks his tongue at the exact same moment you groan, βPlease, not youβ¦β
Taehyung takes advantage of Jimin getting up to wash your mugs to stick his tongue out at you while kicking off his shoes. You flip him off in return, which he completely ignores.
βJesus, guys, how many times do I have to tell you to air the place out when you hook up?β he complains loudly, wrinkling his nose. βIt stinks in here!β
βOops!β Jimin calls back from the kitchen. βSorry, man. You might wanna open your bedroom window, then.β
You nearly choke when you see Taehyung βs face fall. βYouβre kidding me?! I said not in my room!β
He storms upstairs two steps at a time, yelling something unintelligible from up there that sends you both into laughter.
When he comes back down, heβs sulking βand even grumpier. βWhatβs wrong, your hookup from last night kicked you out once sober she saw your face?β Jimin teases, unable to help himself.
βShut up. And put a shirt on, asshole βyou two look like some childless married couple.β
βYouβre just jealous,β you singsong, just to get on his nerves. This time he flips you off without hesitation, which only makes you laugh harder βespecially when Jimin comes back and smacks him on the back of the head.
βYou guys went to a party last night?β Taehyung suddenly asks.
You blink at the abrupt change of subject, but Jimin doesnβt even react. Youβve always thought Taehyung had serious attention issues, but according to Jimin, he just thinks faster than everyone else. The idea is oddly endearing βand cuteβ so you donβt dare contradict.
βNo, why?β
By the coffee machine, Taehyung shrugs, pulling his phone out. βSaw you on some girlβs story. Looked like a party. Here.β
Jimin takes the phone, biting into a cookie, but glances at the picture for less than a second before shaking his head. βThat wasnβt last night. That was the fair.β
And just like that, you freeze.
Something about Jimin and a fair makes your stomach twist almost instantly.
You donβt hear the rest of their conversation βit doesnβt really matter, you're not part of it anymore. But you do follow the movement when Jimin sets the phone down on the coffee table after Taehyung disappears into the kitchen.
Nowou can see the picture clearly βand you're not sure you like it.
Jimin, grinning wider than youβve ever seen him. Happier than youβve ever seen him. And next to him, a petite redhead, just as radiant.
Mia.
Your stomach knots tighter and tighter until it feels like somethingβs about to snap. You canβt look away. They look so happy. So at ease. Youβd had trouble picturing them together before βbut nowβ¦
Now, seeing them like this, Jimin looking better than ever, you start to think maybeβ¦ maybeβ¦
βYouβd tell me if you wanted to stop, right?β
When you finally look up, itβs just Jimin in the living room βTaehyungβs gone somewhere. Jimin stares at you, completely caught off guard.
βStop what? Us?β he asks after a second, clearly confused.
You nod, swallowing.
Your chest hurts. Like your lungs donβt have enough room to expand.
βWhy would I want to stop?β
It hurts. God, it hurts.
βI donβt know,β you shrug, your voice suddenly empty. You canβt meet his eyes anymore. βI just figure it would suck if one of us started feelingβ¦ stuck. In our βwhatever this is.β
You swallow hard.
You've never put a name on this. It just happened. You woke up in the same bed after a party, realized it had been the best sex of your lives, and decided to keep going. No rules, no labels. Just⦠this.
And it used to be enough. Now it terrifies you .
βWellβ¦ thatβs not how I feel,β he says slowly, almost hesitant βbut with that soft smile he uses to reassure people. βBut if it ever is, trust me βyouβll be the first to know.β
You force a smile and nod.
It hurts so much.
You open your mouth to say something else βbecause from the look on his face, he knows somethingβs wrong and heβs about to askβ but Taehyungβs voice cuts in from upstairs, calling for him.
Jimin hesitates, eyes flicking between you and the stairs before deciding. βHe never yells like that. I should check,β he mutters, frowning. βIβll be right back, just a minute.β
You barely have time to respond before he leans down and kisses you, quick and easy, then disappears up the stairs, leaving you alone βwith flushed cheeks and thoughts that wonβt line up into anything coherent.
And in the quiet that follows, you realize something. What scares you mostβ¦ β¦Itβs how natural that felt.
The way he leaned in and kissed you, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
It scares you.
No βit terrifies you.
And God⦠why does your chest hurt so much?
βI canβt do this,β you declare, your head in your hands.
Sitting across from you on the edge of the fountain, Hoseok looks up sharply, one eyebrow raised. βChapter thirteen. I donβt understand a single thing,β you explain, sighing.
He thinks for a second, then glances over the overwhelming spread of notes in front of you and wrinkles his nose. βOh, that one. Yeah, I skipped it. Itβs on my sacrifice list.β
βYour what list?β
βMhm. All the chapters I know Iβll never learn in time, so I ditch them and focus on the rest,β he proudly explains, leaving you confused for a few seconds.
Slowly, you nod. βRight. Makes sense. I should probably do the sameβ¦ Any chance you could explain the chapter on exponential functions?β
βSacrificed. That crap is straight out of high school, I donβt even get why we have to go through it again.β
βChemistry, chapter three?β
βSacrificed.β
βFour?β
βSacrificed.β
βOkayβ¦ and, uh, letβs say, all of this semesterβs physio?β
He grimaces. Thatβs your answer.
βSacrificed, got it,β you sigh. βSoβ¦ is there anything you didnβt sacrifice, orββ
βOf course there is! The very first one, about cell structure, well fun factββ
βHoseok! Y/N! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!β
Mia cuts him off, bursting into the courtyard at full speed βso fast she has to dig her heels into the ground to keep from face-planting into the massive fountain. Hoseok jumps up instinctively, startled, while you throw your arms over your head on reflex βbut she manages to stop just a couple steps away from you.
βYou are never gonna believe this!β she gasps, hands on her knees, more out of breath than youβve ever seen her. Hoseok shoots you a quick, concerned glance.
You donβt think youβve ever seen Mia run, and definitely not with a smile like that. Her cheeks are flushed, her glasses are slipping down her nose βbut youβve never seen her look so radiant.
βYou won the lottery?β you mumble at the exact same time Hoseok blurts out, βYou found a valid excuse to skip finals?β
βNo!β she beams. βJimin agreed to come to the party on Friday with me!β
β¦What?
You and Hoseok go completely still βhim in surprise, you, though you hate to admit it, in something closer to horror.
βThe Friday party? Like the ones that happen every week in the campus building?β Hoseok finally asks, upbeat and curious, just before the silence turns awkward.
βExactly!β Mia practically bounces in place, totally oblivious to the global βyour, reallyβ discomfort. βHe hesitated at first, but I convinced him! I still canβt believe it!β
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Hoseok frown, and when your gazes meet, you know heβs thinking the same thing you are. Jimin never goes to those parties. They suck, they get shut down by the police half the time, and his frat already throws the best ones around. So for Mia to convince himβ¦
βReally? Howβd you pull that off?β Hoseok asks, still smiling uncertainly as he high-fives her.
βOh, I just told him one of my friends was bringing Paris-Brest,β she says proudly, then turns to you. βBy the way, thank you so much for the tip!β
She looks like sheβs about to throw herself at you for a hug, and all you can do is blink at her, just as confused as Hoseok when he turns to you, completely lost.
βMe? Why are you thanking me?β you mumble, pointing at yourself.
βFor telling me itβs his favorite,β she says like itβs the most obvious thing in the world. Behind her, you can practically see the moment Hoseok connects the dots. βI didnβt think itβd work that easily βseriously, thank you!β
She laughs, bright and carefree βand you smile back.
Inside, though, you're frozen solid.
You vaguely remember mentioning it in a message, yeah, but you canβt recall the context βand you donβt see how a cake would be enough to convince him. Thatβs ridiculousβ¦ right?
No. Deep down, he probably already meant to say yes. Yeah. Jimin wanted to go to that party with Mia. Maybe theyβve gotten closer than you thought βmaybe he wants them to get even closer, maybeβ
βDonβt thank me, I had no idea he liked it that much,β you protest, uneasy. The hollow in your chest has never felt this wide.
βAre you kidding? You guys used to eat it every day when you were kids!β
This time, itβs not just you βMia freezes too at Hoseokβs words.
Standing behind her, he sees your face fall apart, realizes instantly that he messed up βbut she doesnβt need to see him. Your expression is enough.
βWhat?β she asks softly, all the joy gone from her voice in less than a second.
You're frozen βcompletely unable to move. As she turns toward him, all you can do is beg Hoseok with your eyes, nausea rising in your throat.
βUhβ¦ we knew each other. Before. The three of us βwith Jimin,β he tries, but his voice is way too hesitant, and he gives up with a grimace. βWell βI got there in middle school, but Jimin and Y/N knew each other before that.β
You barely have time to shoot him a death glare before Mia turns back to you βand as soon as her back is to him, he sends you the most apologetic look youβve ever seen.
Behind her round glasses, Miaβs gaze is sharp. It makes you sigh βbut also irritates you, just a little.
βIs that true?β she asks, her voice low. You fight the urge to roll your eyes.
You seriously donβt see why sheβs reacting like this. Sure, this whole thing brought you a bit closer βbut not nearly enough for you to spill your entire life story. The way sheβs acting like you owe her something, like youβve betrayed her βseriouslyβ¦
βOur moms were friends, so we were too in elementary school. Then Hoseok showed up in middle school, and Jimin met his group of friends around ninth grade, and after that we stopped talking until we ended up at the same college,β you say in one breath, your tone flat. βIt doesnβt change anything, you know.β
She seems to think you have a point, because she softens. And itβs true βfrom her perspective, your past with Jimin changes nothing. If anything, it explains why you know so much about him.
βYou couldβve told me,β she mutters one last time, then moves on almost immediately.
She starts asking what she should wear, how she should act around him βand Hoseok, amused and mostly relieved to have dodged a disaster, answers her, matching her excitement until she has to head back to class.
When sheβs gone and silence settles back in, you're left alone under Hoseokβs heavy gaze.
βYou didnβt tell her,β he says simply, but thatβs all it takes for you to know exactly what he means.
You shrug, a small smile tugging at your lips. βI didnβt tell anyone. Youβre the only one who knows βyou and Jiminβs friends, I guess.β
He raises an eyebrow. βShould I feel special?β
βObviously,β you nod βbut he clicks his tongue.
βY/N.β
βWhat?β
βI know you.β He sighs, almost pained.
βYeah, and?β
He hesitates, discouraged by your evasive gaze, but pushes on anyway. βWhat does Jimin say about it?β
You let out a short laugh βthereβs no humor in it. βHe doesnβt say anything, what do you think? That Iβm gonna go tell him Iβve been helping some girl from physio flirt with him? That if she knows all those details about him, itβs because I canβt keep my mouth shut?β
He doesnβt answer, and you pull your knees up to your chest, resting your chin on them, bitterness creeping in. βNo. Of course not. Anyway, I donβt think Iβm the person heβd want to talk about that with. He never talks about Mia when weβre together,β you add when you catch his surprised look.
Out of all your friends, Hoseokβs the only one who knows about you and Jimin. Being inseparable since middle school probably helped βbut truth is, you never planned on telling him until he literally walked in on you two halfway through freshman year. Perks of having roommates.
He gave you hell for it at first, but honestly, it worked out for him too. When you went over to Jiminβs, he could invite Yoongi, his boyfriend. And when Jimin came over, Hoseok would disappear for the night. Convenient.
Heβs also covered for you more times than you can count when Noelle questioned your constant absences βbut the downside is, between knowing everything and being annoyingly good at reading you without words, heβs gotten very good at dragging things out of you.
βMaybe he doesnβt see things the same way?β he tries gently βbut even he must hear how unsure he sounds.
You just shrug, your gaze drifting to the rippling water of the fountain. It takes him a moment before he speaks again βand when he does, his voice is softer.
βAnd you? What do you think?β
Another shrug. It takes more effort than youβd like to ignore the ache in your chest and fall back on your usual answer.
βI think itβs good for them. Mia really likes him. And when theyβre together, Jimin looksβ¦ happy.β
βY/N,β Hoseok clicks his tongue, almost scolding βand you snap.
βWhat do you want me to think?! I donβt get to think anything about it! Iβm not his girlfriend, and we never even said it was just the two of us! If he wants to try something with her, I donβt see what right Iβd have toββ
βThatβs not true, and you know it. Itβs more than just a sex arrangement βJimin isnβt the kind of guy toββ
βEven if it is, it doesnβt change anything. Miaβs funny, cute, and four times smarter and more interesting than the girl heβs been sleeping with for three years just because it was easier than finding someone else!β
The words spill out all at once βand you donβt know if you feel lighter or worse when you realize something in your chest has shifted.
βHonestly, Hoseok, Iβ¦ I think Iβd understand if he wanted to end things with me to focus on her. I mean, weβre not going anywhere with ourββ
βOkay, no. Thatβs enough.β
He cuts you off, and he looks angrier than youβve seen him in months.
βIβm not sitting here listening to you talk about yourself like that. I donβt know what he said βor didnβt sayβ to make you believe this crap, but I swear Iβm this close to going to have a word with him.β
He exhales, calming down when he notices youβve gone quiet. βWhenβs the last time you saw him?β
You press your lips together, trying to remember. βLast week? When I stayed over, I think.β
His eyebrow lifts, surprised. βAnd you havenβt talked since?β
In another context, you mightβve smiled. First year, you saw each other like four times a week. Second year, almost every night. Not seeing each other this long is practically a miracle.
βHe texted a couple times, I think, but with finals I didnβt really have the headspace for itβ¦β
You donβt need to finish. And with Mia, you didnβt want to deal with it.
He thinks for a long moment, then sighs. βI really think you should go talk to him. Not to tell him you basically helped Mia get close to him,β he adds, rolling his eyes when you open your mouth to interrupt. βJust to clear things up. Tell him this whole situation makes you uncomfortable. That you donβt think you can keep doing this. And most importantlyββ
He taps your nose with his finger, his tone turning serious again.
βMake it very clear that my best friend is not a second choice. And if he messes with you, Iβll personally punch his face in βand have Yoongi slash his tires.β
You groan, pushing his hand away βbut you canβt quite stop the smile pulling at your lips.
He grins back, that soft, heart-shaped smile of his, so reassuring.
βThanks, Hobi. Iβll try.β
You didnβt try.
You could have βworse, you know you should have. But it didnβt take long to realize it was too delicate, too hard for you to handle. Just thinking about texting him we need to talk makes you feel sick. And showing up at his place? Not even an option.
You know it makes you weak. You shouldβve pulled yourself together sooner βbecause now itβs too late, and itβs a disaster.
A disaster, because you missed your chance. And now itβs only a matter of time before Mia and Jimin get together.
βTonight, Iβm asking him out! I hope he kisses me βoh my god, do you think heβll kiss me?!β
Mia and her friends hang around us so much these days youβd think you were all best friends. Maybe from their perspective, you are. From oursβ¦ itβs obvious even Noelle is starting to get fed up with the constant chatter, and Hoseok βwell, he can tell itβs dragging you down, so heβs not thrilled either.
Then again, Mia only ever talks about one thing βJimin, Jimin, Jimin. It was cute at first. Now itβs exhausting. Even Noelle, who usually lives for this kind of gossip, has asked them to change the subject more than once βand when the break barely lasted a few minutes before Mia circled back to him, she officially labeled her as an annoying pick-me. A little harshβ¦ but not wrong.
You and Noelle keep telling yourselves that after tonight, itβll calm down. That maybe theyβll make things official, and Mia wonβt need your advice anymore βmaybe sheβll finally leave you alone.
You donβt know if that thought comforts youβ¦ or destroys you.
βIβm so excited for you!β one of her friends squeals. βDo you know what heβs gonna wear?β
βNo, but I know what Iβm wearing! I planned my whole outfit to match the bracelet he gave me!β
That one sentence doesnβt faze Noelle in the slightest βbut you and Hoseok both snap your heads up at the same time, and suddenly your throat goes dry.
βYouβre so lucky your guy gives you cute little gifts like thatβ¦ mine wonβt even buy me flowers for Valentineβs,β another girl grumbles, eyeing the thin braided bracelet on Miaβs wrist. Soft orange and green βcolors that suit her perfectly.
Slowly, Hoseok turns toward you βand he doesnβt even need to see your face to go pale.
For your birthday in first year, Jimin gave you a delicate gold bracelet with tiny stones set into it. Probably fake βhe was broke then, still isβ but it meant everything to you. You wore it every day. And whenever he spotted it in the halls, heβd get this small, knowing smile βlike it was a little secret just for the two of you.
You hate how quickly you tug your sleeve down to hide the chain you havenβt taken off in three years. You canβt help it.
βI canβt wait for tonight!β Mia gushes, practically vibrating with excitement βand for once, you agree.
You canβt wait either.
Because maybe after tonightβ¦ Youβll finally know where you stand. Maybe youβll finally be able to move on.
The upside of taking biology as an elective is that almost no one else did βso you spend most of the afternoon without Miaβs running commentary threatening to make you cry.
The downside is that you end up alone in the university halls as night falls, when all you want is to crawl into bed.
The few students in your class seem to feel the same way. The second the professor dismisses you, everyone scatters, heading for the nearest exit that leads back home. You, unfortunately, have to pass through the main hall βand letβs just say itβs not exactly comforting when the corridors are dark and completely empty.
You pull out your phone to distract yourself, replying to the messages Noelle and Hoseok sent during class, walking fast without even needing to look where you're going. You're so focused on your screen, on typing back to yet another one of Noelleβs dumb comments, that you barely notice when you step into the large hall βor that there are people already there.
Their voices reach you, but you donβt bother making sense of them, too tired for that.
A quick glance to avoid walking straight into them is enough to register two guys βand without missing a beat, thumbs still flying across your screen, you shift to the left to pass by.
As you draw level with them, you glance again, ignoring Taehyung βs raised eyebrow and the unimpressed look he throws your way, focusing instead onβ
Wait.
Taehyung ?
Taehyung is never on campus this late. Actually, you were pretty sure Taehyung didnβt go to class at all βso what the hell is he doing here?
And then it clicks.
The party.
Taehyung mustβve agreed to come after Mia invited Jiminβ¦
Shit.
Before you can stop yourself, your pace quickens. You just need to get out of this damn hall βonce you're outside, you can run, catch the first bus you see, just get away from here.
But you barely have time to grab the handle of the massive front door before a voice you know all too well calls out behind you βsplitting your chest open in the process.
βY/N! Hey βwait!β
You freeze.
Footsteps echo behind you, quick and urgent, and then Jimin is there beside you, barely out of breath. His dark eyes lock onto yours instantly, his lips parting as he runs a hand through his perpetually messy hair βand the ache in your chest triples.
Like one word from him could break you.
Behind him, the hall is empty. Taehyungβs gone βprobably headed straight to the party. Which leaves you alone with Jimin and a gaze thatβs far too gentle for how much this hurts.
βHey,β he says finally, still a little breathless. βYouβre leaving?β
He looks genuinely surprised. Almost disappointed.
It takes you a full minute to answer, cornered, confused. βUhβIβ¦ yeah,β you stammer, hating how stupid you sound. Hating how easily he throws you off balance. βIβm already late, I need to get homeβ¦β
βOhβ¦ okay,β he murmurs, nodding slowly βand for some reason, he almost looks relieved.
He steps closer.
For a split second, you hesitate βshould you move toward him, or step back? In the end, you just stand there like an idiot, frozen in the middle of a mental battle you canβt win.
βI was thinkingβ¦β he starts, wetting his lips nervously, and itβs obvious heβs tense βthough you donβt understand why. βAfter the party, do you maybe want to come over? The guys wonβt be there. I wouldβve asked earlier, but you seemedβ¦ busy. So I figuredβ¦β
He trails off, the question hanging between you.
But you donβt answer.
You canβt.
He fidgets with his keys, his eyes flicking over your face like he canβt quite settle, waiting.
You grip the strap of your bag tighter, forcing yourself to swallow.
For a second, you almost say yes.
Then you think of Mia. Her excitement. Her smile. The bracelet. The fact that sheβs going to ask him out.
And suddenly, all you can think is that you're a horrible person.
βI donβt think thatβs a good idea,β you blurt out before you can stop yourself, your voice shaking so badly it sounds like you're about to cry.
Jimin goes still, frowning.
βWhat?β
You swallow again, panic tangling with the pain in your chest. You search for the right words βbut they donβt come.
βI have to study for finals,β you say instead, gripping your bag so tightly your knuckles turn white. βB-But you should ask Mia. Iβm sure sheβd love to.β
This time, he looks at you like youβve lost your mind.
βWhat? What are you even talking about?β
For a second, Hoseokβs advice flashes through your mind βbe honest. Advice you shouldβve followed a long time ago.
βIβI just meanβ¦β Your voice breaks, hitching as tears well up. βIf things get serious between you two, then Iβ¦ I think itβd be better if weββ
βY/N, youβre scaring me. What are you talking about?!β he cuts in, panic creeping into his voice. His hand comes to rest on your shoulder, his eyes careful, searching βand it breaks you all over again. Even now, heβs trying to be gentle. Why does that hurt so much? βWhatβs going on with Mia?β
βSheβs going to ask you out!β you burst out, not even trying to wipe the tears streaming down your face.
He recoils slightly βbut now that youβve started, the words wonβt stop.
βAnd itβs obvious youβre going to say yes, and I am not going to be the girl who ruins your relationship, so itβs better if we just stop!β
You're practically shouting now, but you canβt hold it in anymore. Youβve been bottling this up for too long.
βI want us to stop.β
The words fall flat between you.
You're out of breath. He just stares at you, unreadable. Your vision is blurred βyou donβt see the hurt in his eyes, or the way his lips part and close again as he searches for something to say.
What you do notice is the silence.
And the fact that his hand has left your shoulder.
The hollow in your chest burns βtwistsβ like somethingβs tearing you apart from the inside. You want to scream. You want to cry.
You feel so ashamed.
Ashamed for reacting like this when itβs obvious Jimin only ever saw this as something convenient. Obvious he doesnβt feel the same.
Your vision swimming, you take a step back, looking away.
He reaches out, saying your name βbut you canβt listen. Not when it hurts this much.
You need to leave.
βBabe, please, look at mββ
βI have to go,β you mumble, wiping your nose with the back of your hand as you push the door open.
The cold evening air hits your face, sharp and unforgiving βbut you turn your back on him anyway, walking away without trying to stop the tears streaming down your cheeks.
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
So much that you donβt even hear him call your name as he runs after you.
βFinally free!β
βHowβd it go for you guys?β
βSeriously, who actually studied that garbage chapter?! No one!β
βAnyone up for a drink to celebrate? First roundβs on me!β
βTheyβre idiots,β Noelle snorts, watching students lose their minds outside Building A, where all the exams took place. βI bet not even half of them passed their semester, but hey, let's celebrate!β
βCareful,β you point out, earning a small laugh from her. βYou werenβt so confident when you saw the physio exam.β
βPlease. Physioβs been on my sacrifice list for ages, soβ¦β
βOh, great. So Hoseok really did infect everyone.β
βSpeaking of, wanna grab a drink?β she cuts in with a bright grin, ignoring your exasperated sigh. βWe should celebrate. Our personal hell is finally over!β
βYeahβ¦ until next semester,β you mutter, which earns you an elbow to the ribs.
With another sigh, you let your gaze drift over the groups of smiling students heading off together. Just imagining yourself out there with them gives you a headache.
βThanks, but Iβll pass. I need a nap. A long one.β
She gives you the kind of disappointed look only a mom can pull off. βI keep telling you, you handle stress terribly. Hoseok refuses to believe me. Whenβs the last time you actually slept through the night?β
βNo one sleeps properly in college, Noelle.β
That gets you smacked on the back of the head. βGo home. And donβt let me catch you saying that again! Call me when you wake up, weβll go out!β
You promise, even though you both know you probably wonβt, and you split up βher heading toward the nearest bar with the others, you toward your apartment.
Itβs empty when you get there βHoseokβs gone out to celebrate with Yoongiβ and the silence is just enough for you to collapse onto the couch and fall asleep within minutes.
When you wake up, you feel like youβve got a hangover, that heavy, dull kind of exhaustion βand the mess around you doesnβt help. Itβs dark outside, leaving the apartment half in shadow, but you can still make out the dozens of revision sheets scattered across the living room, the sticky notes on the fridge, the clothes you left lying around this morning.
Hoseok still isnβt back βconsidering the late hour, he probably decided to stay the night at Yoongiβsβ so you grab your phone from the floor and turn it on.
The simple motion sends a sharp pang through your chest.
Friday night, the first thing you did when you got home was turn it off βbecause Jimin was flooding you with messages you couldnβt bring yourself to read. You spent the night crying until exhaustion knocked you out. The days after that, you refused to let yourself fall apart like that again βso you kept it off, shoved under the couch so you wouldnβt be tempted, and buried yourself in studying.
Hoseok noticed something was wrong, of course βbut after trying and failing to get you to talk, he stopped pushing and just stayed with you. Silent support. Like he was saying, whether youβre ready or not, Iβm here.
But Hoseok isnβt here tonight.
And as your screen lights up β9:27 PM in glaring numbersβ the notifications from the entire weekend start vibrating in your hand, one after another, relentless, and you donβt have his shoulder to lean on this time.
Slowly, you scroll.
Noelle β 7:07 PM You awake? Noelle β 7:12 PM Okay prolly not, sleep well :D
Team Rocket β 2 daysΒ No_L sent seven videos.Β Hoba._. sent eight videos.
Hobi β 8:24 PM Noelle said you went home donβt stay alone if you donβt have to, okkkk? call me if you need Yoongi said you can come over if you want
Automatically, you swipe away Miaβs notifications. You're not that much of a masochist.
But thereβs one you canβt bring yourself to delete.
Your thumb hovers over the screen for a long time before you finally give in βalready hating the way your eyes sting with tears.
Jimin β 3 days ago β 9:03 PM Y/N please can we talk pls I just want to explain Y/N Y/N pls itβs late donβt be like this Iβm worried
Jimin β 3 days ago β 9:32 PM pls just tell me you got home safe
Jimin β 2 days ago β 2:42 PM Hey can we talk? pls
Jimin β yesterday β 5:28 PM I just want to see you and talk pls doesnβt have to be at my place we can grab coffee if you want pls just tell me youβre okay
Every day, dozens of messages like that. All unanswered.
He sounds genuinely worried βand guilt twists in your chest. You shouldnβt have left like that. You shouldnβt have shut him out.
Wiping at the tears threatening to fall, you scroll further βdown to the most recent ones. The ones from this morning.
And you have to clamp a hand over your mouth to keep from sobbing.
Jimin β 7:35 AM donβt stress too much about exams, okay? you know your stuff, youβll do great you always do
Your phone slips from your fingers, landing on your thigh.
Why does it hurt so much?
Jimin has always been like this. Always putting others first, never worrying about himself as long as the people around him were okay. Itβs just who he is βand how many times did Hoseok and you get on his case for losing himself in the process?
And now all you can think about is him.
Jimin, who has the softest, most reassuring smile Iβve ever seen. Jimin, who knows your favorite tea without asking. Jimin, who sat through hours of a show he hates just because you love it. Jimin, who always welcomed you into his place like you already lived there. Jimin, who dropped everything more times than you can count just to be there when you were having a bad day.
Jimin, who used to light up when you bought him a slice of Paris-Brest after school βso much that you decided it was worth spending your allowance just to see that smile.
Jimin, who makes everything feel so easier just by being there.
It hurts.
God, it hurts.
To realize youβll never be the girl he falls asleep holding again. The one he smiles at first thing in the morning. The one he curls up with on the couch, rambling nonsense just to make her laugh.
You should get up. Go for a walk. Clear your head.
But you donβt move.
You just want to stay here, curled up on this empty couch, waiting for sleep to take you again. For time to pass. For it to hurt less.
You justβ
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
Silence.
You freeze, staring toward the front door, faintly lit by the lamp near the coat rack. Slowly, wiping your cheeks, you frown.
No one ever comes by this late. The buildingβs mostly older people and students with schedules like yours βafter seven, itβs dead quiet.
Hoseokβs at Yoongiβs. Noelleβs probably out partying. You didnβt order anythingβ¦
Your hands tremble as you reach for the handle βbut you donβt stop. Your throat tightens even before you open the door, like you already know whoβs standing on the other side.
And then heβs there.
His eyes lock onto yours instantly βlike a shipwrecked man finally finding land.
It must be raining βhis hood is up, strands of damp hair clinging to his forehead. But thatβs not what hits you.
Itβs the way his shoulders seem weighed down. The exhaustion on his face.
Has he been crying?
Youβve never seen him like this. Never without that easy, playful smile he always wears. And seeing him here βsoaked, worn down, standing at your doorβ pulls at something in your chest until it aches.
βHey,β Jimin rasps, his voice rougher than usual. He clears his throat. βCan I come in?β
You should say no.
You should.
But you canβt.
You're still too weak when it comes to him βtoo incapable of shutting the door in his face when he looks like that.
So you step aside.
He doesnβt give you time to change your mind before walking in, kicking off his sneakers by the door out of habit. You watch as he stands stiffly in the living room, glancing around, clearly uncomfortable.
βHoseokβs not here,β you mutter.
He looks back at you, his gaze locking onto yours again, making you swallow hard. He nods. βI know. Heβs the one who told me to come.β
You blink. βWhat?β
βYeah, Iβuhβ¦β He scratches the back of his neck, forcing a small smile. βRan into him this morning while I was looking for you. He told me to come see you. I didnβt at first, then I went for a walk to clear my head, got lost, andβ¦ anyway. Iβm here.β He smiles again, barely giving you time to process before adding, βSo βhow was your day?β
You stare at him, thrown by the sudden shift.
βIβ¦ managed,β you say eventually. βWith a bit of luck, Iβll pass.β
βCool,β he replies quickly βtoo quickly.
βAnd you?β
βMe? Oh, a disaster. Iβll probably have to retake. Itβs fine,β he shrugs.
You frown.
Jimin? Retakes? Impossible.
Sensing your reaction, he keeps up the act for a second before letting it drop, grimacing as he rubs his neck. βI havenβt really slept these past few days. Hard to focus.β
The look he gives you is so heavy with something βguilt? hurt?β that you want to pull him into a hug and tell him he doesnβt have to explain anything.
You donβt.
Instead, you take a breath and cross your arms.
βJimin, what are you doing here?β
βI told you, Hoseok said I shouldββ
βJimin,β you cut in, exhausted. βJustβ¦ answer.β
His Adam apple rolls in his throat. βI wanted to see you,β he says, his voice trembling enough to make you freeze. βYou werenβt answering, so I thought maybe something happened to you.β He stops, watching you like heβs waiting for something that never comes. Then he looks away with a sigh. βThat was stupid. Forget it.β
Before you can react, he straightens and heads for the door. You reach out βbut too late, heβs already there.
So this is how it ends. Maybeβ¦ maybe itβs for the best.
You tried.
But just as you brace yourself for the sound of the door slamming shut, it doesnβt come.
Heβs still there. Standing in front of it, back to you, tense and unmoving.
When he speaks again, his voice is barely above a whisper.
βAre you okay, at least?β
Thank God heβs not looking at you βbecause the tears are back, and suddenly you have to bite on your lip not to let out a cry.
βMm-hm,β you mumble, your throat tight. βExams are over. Breakβs coming. Everythingβs great.β
You donβt sound like yourself.
He hears it too βbecause he turns, and his eyes are just as shiny from tears as yours are.
βOh.β His gaze finds yours, pleading βbut he doesnβt say it. βOkay. I mean, otherwise I know a guy studying psych, he could maybeββ
βJimin,β you cut in, forcing a tight smile. βIβm fine.β
βGreat. Then maybe we could go out?β He takes a step closer, fidgeting with his sleeve. βThereβs this new restaurant downtown, I went with Taehyung, it wasββ
His eyes shine with unshed tears.
Your chest aches.
βJimin. Go home.β
βAre you sure?β His voice is so soft, so hopeful, it hurts. βWe could go to a movie, or just walk. Thereβs birds that sing at night in the park, itβsββ
Until it hurts too much.
And you snap.
βJimin, just go home, damn it! You shouldnβt be here!β
βSince when shouldnβt I be here?!β he fires back, louder than you βand suddenly heβs right in front of you, so close you could reach out and touch him. βY/N, Iβve spent almost every night here since freshman year βwhat the hell suddenly changed?!β
βWhat changed is that thereβs Mia now!β Your voice breaks.
His face freezes βthen shifts from desperation to confusion.
βWhat does Mia have to do with anything? Why do you keep talking about her likeββ
βBecause if I were your girlfriend, Iβd hate knowing youβre spending the night with someone else βso just leave!β
Silence.
You regret yelling instantly βbut he doesnβt even seem to register the tone.
βWhat?β
You sigh, exhausted. βWhat do you mean, what?β
βMiaβs not my girlfriend,β he says suddenly, frowning. βWait βis that what youβve been thinking this whole time?β
Silence.
You freeze.
Did you hear that right?
βOf course she is,β you stammer. βShe confessed to you Friday at theββ
βI didnβt see her Friday,β he cuts in. βI left as soon as Taehyung told me you werenβt there. I was too worried.β
βIβ¦ I thought you really wanted to go because she said sheβd bring Paris-Brestβ¦?β
He blinks. βWow. Didnβt realize you thought that little of me.β
βItβs notββ
βWhat the hell would I even go do at one of their stupid parties?β he insists, shaking his head, and your mouth snaps shut. βI only said yes because Mia told me you were bringing some, and weβve never really gone to parties together, so I just thoughtβ¦ itβd be an excuse. Damn, did you really thinkβ¦?β
You stay silent, stunned. This has to be a hallucination. Thereβs no way.
βB-But youβve gotten so close these past few weeksβ¦β
He shrugs. βYeah. Sheβs nice.β
βYou went to the movies together?β
βI was gonna see that film anyway. I just didnβt dare ask you,β he mutters, his cheeks flushing slightly.
βAnd the fair?!β
βJungkook and Seokjin were going with their girlfriends βit was more of a group thing than anything else,β he explains, starting to look almost panicked under your relentless questions.
βI donβt get it,β you shake your head. βYou even gave her a bracelet!β
βWhat? That?β He stares at you, incredulous, then bursts out laughing, almost relieved. βY/N, Iβve been making bracelets for people since I was a kid! Taehyung has so many he keeps them all like paper cranes, like if he gets a thousand heβll earn a wish! I had one on me, she liked it, so I gave it to her. Thatβs it. Wait βdoes that have a romantic meaning or something?β he adds suddenly, eyes widening. ββCause if it does, someone should warn Taehyungβheβs got a whole boxβ¦β
You stand there, unable to process a word, and slowly, a shy smile starts forming on his lips as he refuses to look away from you.
This is impossible. Have you really misunderstood everything⦠this whole time?
βIβ¦ I canβt believe thisβ¦ I thought you were interested in her! I thoughtββ
βY/N, I spent the entire week trying to see you,β he cuts in, gently reaching out to take your fingers in his. βLike every other week before that. Did you really think I didnβt care about you?β
You swallow, then shake your head stubbornly. βWhat I thought was that you were finally getting close to someone after three years without anything serious, so yeahβ¦β
βYeah, because I didnβt care about seeing anyone else as long as I had you!β
His words hang in the air between us as he freezes, biting his tongue, his whole face tightening. Slowly, you raise an eyebrow, your heart hammering against your ribs, and he lifts his hands in surrender.
βOkay, hang on, that sounded way better in my head.β
You narrow your eyes, feigning offense. βIt better have.β
The truth is, your heart is pounding so hard itβs ringing in your ears.
Softly, he smiles. βWhat I mean isβ¦ yeah, Miaβs adorable, and I liked helping her settle in since sheβs new, butβ¦β His fingers find yours again, gripping them like his life depends on it. βSheβs not you. She doesnβt have the most addictive smile Iβve ever seen. She doesnβt tease me every time I say something stupid, or look at me the way you do, orβ¦ I donβt think about her all the time. I donβt want to see her every single day.β
ββ¦And me? You do?β You whisper, convinced you must be dreaming.
βY/N, I always want to see you,β he answers like itβs the most obvious thing in the world, squeezing your hand tighter as if to prove itβs real. βTalk to you. Make you laugh. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be in the same room as you and not be able to sit next to you because Noelle would start asking questions? To see the way Hoseok looks at me every time, knowing heβs judging me because Iβm too scared to make the first move?β
ββ¦Why didnβt you ever tell me any of this?β
He swallows, running a hand through his hair. His palm is warm against yours βso warm, so familiar, you wonder how you managed this long without it. βBecause it terrifies me. Itβs justβ¦ we never put a name onβ¦ us. And I swear, I was okay with thatβ¦ until that asshole started hitting on you last year and I realized I couldnβt stand the idea of you being with someone else.β
ββ¦Dave?β You blink, surprised. Dave had been in your math class, and yeah, heβd tried something βbut youβd shut it down fast, and he didnβt insist. You never thoughtβ
βAt that point, I really thoughtβ¦ I was going to lose you,β Jimin stumbles a little, searching for words, but this time he doesnβt hesitate, doesnβt let you look away. βSo when he left, I told myself Iβd tell you βor at least ask you outβ but Iβ¦ I was too scared youβd push me away. I thought maybe you wanted it to stay just physical, and I freaked out at the idea that telling you everything would make you leave, so Iβ¦ I stayed like this instead.β
βButβ¦ why? Youββ
βBecause Iβd rather have a little of you, in secret, than nothing at all,β he says, and your heart skips a beat. Your lips part, tears burning your eyes, but he shakes his head. βEven if itβs cowardly. I donβt care.β
His fingers tighten around yours, threading through them, and you canβt speak βtoo overwhelmed by his confession. You just stare at him, at the hope in his eyes growing when you donβt pull away.
βY/Nβ¦ say something, pleaseβ¦β
You clench your jaw, pressing your lips together to keep the tears from spilling.
βYouβre an idiot.β
Now itβs his turn to freeze, stunned. βUhβ¦ thanks?β he tries. βBut, uhβ¦ why?β
βJimin, Iβve had a crush on you since at least fifth grade. I thought you didnβt want anything more than sex!β
βWhat ?β He stares at you, completely wrecked. ββ¦Shit,β he finally mutters, and you canβt help but laugh softly.
Seeing you smile seems to bring him back to life. His face lights up, and he lifts his free hand to wipe your tears away with his thumb, while the other slides up your arm to settle at your waist.
His touch is gentle, deliberate βlike heβs made it his mission to chase away every single tear that dared fall. You could pull away.
You donβt.
You let him.
Lost in the way his eyes focus on you, your hands find their place on his shoulders naturally.
βSoβ¦ Miaβ¦β you whisper after a moment, barely daring to break the silence.
βAnd what if we just stopped talking about Mia, hmm?β he clicks his tongue, mock-scolding. βShe was barely even a friend anyway.β
βWas?β you echo softly, eyebrow raised, a smile tugging at your lips.
He frowns βbut smiles anyway. βShe definitely isnβt anymore, if she made you cry like that.β
βJiminβ¦β
He doesnβt give you time to finish. His hand cups your cheek, and he leans down, kissing you.
His lips meet yours βsoft, full, tasting faintly of the soda he drank earlierβ and you sigh into the kiss, into that closeness finally reclaimed. Your arms wrap around his shoulders as he pulls you against him, until your body is pressed to his and you're held securely in his arms.
βIβm sorry,β he murmurs between kisses, desperate, your mouths moving slower, deeper. βIβm so sorry. Iβm an idiot, youβre right. I shouldβve told you everything when that jerk showed up. Forgive me,β he breathes, leaving your lips to kiss your cheek, then your eyes βlike heβs apologizing for every tear.
Softly, you smile, tightening your arms around him. βI shouldβve talked to you too. Iβm sorry I made you worry.β
Your hand slides into his hair, pulling him back to you. He smiles against your lips.
βItβs forgotten,β he murmurs, his cold fingers tracing your waist. βNext time, just promise youβll talk to me directly instead of asking impossible questions, hmm?β
You huff, thinking back to your disastrously awkward conversation at his place, but you still tug his hair a little for good measure.
βDeal. And you stop being so nice to everyone. People get the wrong idea.β
He raises an eyebrow, amused. βIf you hadnβt helped her, we wouldnβt be here.β
He laughs softly when you stick your tongue out, but you end up smiling too. When his laughter fades, he lingers, eyes lost in yours.
βBut I promise. Whatever you want, love.β
He kisses you before you can answer, your lips moving together like a promise finally sealed.
This kiss feels different.
Not rushed, not stolen like before βlike you knew your time together was limited. No.
This one is slow. Deep. Certain. This time, you take your time.
His hands slip under your shirt. Yours drag lightly down his back. You both shiver.
This time, he lingers βmapping your skin with kisses, learning you all over again. Your neck, your collarbone, every place that makes you gasp his name like it matters.
When he carries you to the bed, itβs not in a hurry βbut with care. Like he has all the time in the world. Clothes fall away slowly. Reverently.
βYouβre so fucking beautiful,β he murmurs against your skin, with such intensity it feels like the first time heβs ever seen you.
That same intensity when he moves between your thighs βkissing, tasting, worshipping like itβs the only thing that exists.
Until you're pulling at his hair, arching so hard it hurts, whispering his name like a plea, like a prayer.
βJimin, pleaseβ¦β
βTell me what you want, love,β he murmurs against your skin, soft as if heβs handling something fragile.
βYou,β you breathe, burning. βJust you.β
He doesn't answer with words, doesn't need to βyour mixed breaths are sufficient proof of your desire, your need for each other. He moves up your body, leaving a trail of kisses behind him that make you shiver. His hands trace furrows of fire on your skin, unstoppable as they graze your breasts before grabbing your hips to place you flat on the mattress, back to him.
He props a pillow under your pelvis, not failing to massage it with his agile fingers, smiling at the hungry look you shoot him over your shoulder and the strangled moan that escapes your breath as he brushes against your entrance.
You spread your thighs, wet and tight and impatient as he rubs against you to moisten himself, making you moan just from the sensation of his hard member against your entrance βthen he leans down to kiss your shoulder, one hand on your hip, the other by your head, and enters.
He finds that same fervor as he pushes until he bottoms, until you moan together as your walls clamp down so tight, as he is so hard, as the wet sounds escaping you echo in your ears.
He whispers praises in your ear as he starts again, again and again, until your hips match the slow, deep rhythm of his, until every meeting of your pelvises draws a moan of pleasure from you, makes you pant together. Until you feel only him, until you have no idea where your body ends and his begins.
"I love you," he murmurs against your skin, panting, his forehead resting on your shoulder. "I'm so sorry I let you think otherwise. I love you."
He kisses your shoulder, your neck, again and again until you turn your head and his lips meet yours. He sings those little words like a prayer, repeating them over and over, until his hand slides down your abdomen and slips between your legs. Until the tight circles of his thumb against you make you moan so loud you can't answer, until your walls clamp down so hard around him that his movements become livelier, clumsier, more urgent.
"Jimin," you moan, out of breath, "I-I'm gonna..."
"I know, love," he breathes, just as tense as you. "Do it for me, go on..."
The knot snaps in your stomach, and your head buries itself in the pillows as a cry escapes you, stars dancing before your eyes. You can feel him tense inside you, his head nestling in your neck, and soon he joins you, his lips articulating your name against your skin.
Suddenly, there's only your hurried breaths to break the silence around you, and it's so perfect that you're almost disappointed when he pulls away to fall beside you, breathless. The separation is so quick that you're suddenly chilled, shivering under your thin layer of sweat without his body to warm you.
Perfectly sensing this, he smiles calmly before extending an arm to pull you against him, even grabbing the duvet to cover you both as you snuggle against his chest.
His arms surround you protectively, and he sighs with contentment, nestling his head in your neck and inhaling your shampoo with a smile on his lips.
You watch him, holding him tight against you, your fingers playing with his hair softly.
"Shouldn't you go home?" You whisper after long minutes, another attempt to make sure all of this isn't just a waking dream.
In response, he rubs his nose against your neck, his fingers drawing small circles on your lower back. "I'm home," he murmurs, smiling softly.
In your chest, your heart swells, and beats so loud it seems like it's going to burst out of your ribcage. Jimin must feel it, because he lifts his head to look at you, his eyes softer than ever.
"I love you," I whisper, smiling so hard it hurts your cheeks.
"I love you too."
No_L : Apparently Mia has a new crush β 9:27 I swear itβs true β 9:27 She wonβt stop talking about it β 9:27 Lookkkk β 9:27 [Screenshot sent] β 9:28
You squint, trying to make sense of what you're reading even though you're still half asleep.
You let out a small yelp when Jimin leans in to read over your shoulder, his warm breath brushing against your neck.
When you woke up, it took you a few seconds to figure out what the solid thing pressed against your back was, and what that weight resting on your waist could be. It was the scent that gave it away βthe thing was his body, and the weight his arms wrapped securely around you. Only Jimin smells like cinnamon and wood smoke like that.
Then the memory of last night came rushing back, and your cheeks burned instantly.
You mustβve woken him up trying to turn around and face him, because since then, heβs refused to let go, holding you tight like you might disappear the second he does.
Not that you're complaining. Those moments are your favorite.
βHey, girlfriend,β he mumbled when he opened his eyes βonly to find yours right in front of him.
βPlease, donβt you start too!β You shot back in horror, which only made him burst out laughing.
βShow me, I canβt see,β he whines softly against your shoulder, grabbing your hand to tilt the phone toward him.
βHey, thatβs a private conversation!β you protest, but still lift the screen.
βYeah, yeah,β he replies absentmindedly, already reading as more messages pop up.
You : Honestly, that surprises me β 9:31 No_L : Same β 9:31 No_L : Especially since I donβt get how you can go from Jimin to Taehyung that fast, but okay β 9:31 Hoba._. : Nah, I get it, itβs practical β 9:31 Hoba._. : She can just ask Y/N for flirting advice again β 9:31 No_L : Huh?
Jimin snorts against your shoulder, earning himself an elbow to the ribs that only makes him laugh harder.
βDon't laugh,β you click your tongue, even though you canβt quite hide your smile.
He just chuckles. βI forgot how funny Hoseok is.β
You smile too, then exit the conversation, remembering something Hoseok showed you a few days ago.
βSpeaking of, look what he found.β
βHm?β
Jimin lifts his head, curious βthen freezes when he sees whatβs on your screen.
βHow did he get that?β he asks, stunned, leaning closer.
You smile.
On the screen is a picture of the both of you βeight, maybe nine years oldβ stuffing your faces with a pastry that looks suspiciously like a Paris-Brest. Hoseok didnβt live in your village back then, but he gets along really well with your mom, so you're guessing she sent it to him.
Honestly, it doesnβt even matter. Just seeing that picture is enough to warm your chest.
βNo idea, but I love it,β you smile, looking at your little faces. Jimin looks so young in it, cheeks puffed full of cake, hair just as messy as it is now. βI forgot how cute we were.β
βMhm, especially you,β Jimin agrees, grabbing your phone to zoom in on your face. βGosh, youβre so cute βI was seriously blind,β he sighs, sounding almost disappointed in himself.
βHey! Give that back!β You protest, reaching for your phone, which only earns you a fit of laughter.
βToo cute, too cute, too cute,β he sings, peppering your face with kisses while holding the phone just out of reach.
A second later, his other hand moves to tickle you and you brace yourself to scream βbut you both stop when the phone vibrates again in his hand, your heads snapping up at the same time.
Hoseok β 9:37 So You guys know I love you both But I have zero want to walk in on you two going at it right after my breakfast, so I figured Iβd ask Should I wait a bit longer, or can I come over ?
Slowly, Jimin turns to you, and you stare at each other like two kids caught red-handed βthen burst out laughing, completely unable to stop.
βI love you,β you blurt out once our laughter fades, caught off guard by your own honesty βbut unable to hold it back any longer. His laugh warms you, his smile softens everything, and in this moment, you're justβ¦ happy.
If heβs surprised, it doesnβt last.
A huge smile spreads across his face, his eyes crinkling into soft crescents that make you melt.
And right then, you think youβve never been happier.
βI love you too.β
Thanks for reading lovelies ! Don't hesitate to reblog, like or comment ! I always love to hear 'bout what you guys thought of it :) Also don't hesitate to ask if you wanna be tagged in my next posts !
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chaotic duo = chaotic hair
πππ¬ππ’π§π¨ (π.) βΏ @d-iorpjm
ππππΎ πππππΊ πΊπ ππΊ π½πΎππΌπΊπππΊ πΌππ πππππΎππ ππΎππ½π πππΌπΎΜ πΌππ ππππΊπ½πΊ ππΎπ πΊ, ππππΌππ πΏπ πππΎππΌπΎπ πΎ ππΊΜπ ππΎππΊπ½ππ πΎπ ππΎπ ππππΎππππ, ππΊπ ππΎπ πππΊ πΊπππΎΜππΌππΊ πΎπ ππΎπ ππΊππ½ππ, ππΎπππΊ πΌπππ ππ»ππΎπππΊπ πΎπππΊπ π½πΊπππππΊπ ππΊππΌπΎππ½π ππΊπ πΌπππΊπ.
a day with μ¬λβ π¦π’π§π’-π¦βπ§π’
museums, cafes π¬ΊΝ photographs.
seβββrendipity: νμ΄, μ΄λͺ , @d-iorpjm
π¬π³. β‘μ μνβ pintando telas em branco com nossas memΓ³rias e fazendo delas, nossa exposiΓ§Γ£o particular.
π©π₯ππ²π₯π’π¬π: β₯οΈ οΌ μν
songs that remind me of you
π’π£. ππ¨π«ππ―ππ« π«ππ’π§ π’π€. π«πππ’π«ππ‘
mini-moni μ΄λͺ ββΏ discography πββ¬
@d-iorpjm, βββ β. toda vez que te observo, me sinto visitando um museu, onde o significado de singularidade, se encontra em exposiΓ§Γ£o.
jimin be like, "no spoiler today, bestie..."
+ other members watching them
minimoni, you're so special β‘
"Jimin's heart is taller than me" wrote Namjoon on weverse, and I had to draw it β₯
it makes me so sad when i see authors on ao3 with hundreds of hits but no comments like pls π ofc im gonna comment. you deserve the world π


