#incorrect minerva mcgonagall

[acerbicanimagus]

McGonagall: Severus, I couldn't help but notice you've been looking a little pale lately

McGonagall: any ideas what's causing it?

Snape: you mean apart from poor genetics, being a spy in an ongoing war while maintaining a highly stressful teaching job where i am forced to keep eleven year olds from blowing themselves up, being Head of House...

Snape: apart from constantly saving Harry Potter's arse, keeping the potions for the Hospital Wing stocked, overseeing detentions even on my days off...

Snape: should i go on?

McGonagall: forget i even asked

[acerbicanimagus]

Snapemas 2020 - day 13, snowed in

Snape’s patronus: unfortunately, i wont be able to attend the Order’s christmas party because i’m snowed in at Spinner’s End, so it seems like you’re on your own, Minerva

McGonagall’s patronus: can’t you just Apparate out and back in?

Snape’s patronus: no

McGonagall: *pounding on Snape’s door* SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE IF YOU DONT SHOW UP AT THAT BLOODY PARTY I WILL DRAG YOU THERE MYSELF

[acerbicanimagus]

Snapemas 2020 - day 15, snowmen

McGonagall: have you seen that film called Frozen?

Snape: certainly not

McGonagall: so it's about these two girls, Elma and Anne, there's also a snowman called Ollie, and Anne can do magic, but then-

Snape: *eye twitching* it's Elsa and Anna, that snowman's called Olaf and it's Elsa who can do magic

McGonagall: ohhhh so you admit you've seen it!!

Snape: twice

Snape: now shut up

[acerbicanimagus]

Snape: poppy made me come to the hospital wing because i said i was in pain

Snape: who the fuck does she think she is, assuming i dont want that pain

McGonagall: Severus, that's not healt-

Snape: iTS MY PAIN, WOMAN, BACK OFF

[acerbicanimagus]

Snapemas 2020 - day 12, gingerbread house

Dumbledore: and to bring this staff meeting to a close, we will now each make our own cute little gingerbread house

Dumbeldore: may the best house win!

Snape: some of us have better things to do than play such childish games, Headmaster

McGonagall: then i’ll just take your gingerbread and win?

Snape: get your scottish hands of my gingerbread, woman

Snape: i’ll show you how to build a proper gingerbread house

[acerbicanimagus]

Snapemas 2020 - day 7, ice skating

McGonagall: Severus, the gang's going ice skating, want to tag along?

Snape: you mean ice skating as in moving yourself over a frozen lake so deep you can easily drown in it

Snape: not to mention the deadly Squid living under the ice who's hardly going to appreciate you skating over his home

Snape: ice skating as in, wearing shoes with blades under them so sharp a lethal accident is bound to happen at some point

McGonagall: ...yes?

Snape: sign. me. up.

[acerbicanimagus]

Snapemas 2020 - day 14, family

McGonagall: Severus, are you coming over for dinner tonight?

Snape: why would i

McGonagall: because it's Christmas and we're family

Snape: no we're not

McGonagall: yes we are

Snape:

Snape: well cant argue with that logic

Snape: will you make those cornish game hens with the baby potatoes?

[acerbicanimagus]

Dumbledore: hello students, I am your Headmaster, and this is my-

Dumbledore: not my assistant, some other word

McGonagall: im his carer

Dumbledore: yes, my carer

Dumbledore: she cares so i dont have to