Bellatrix: We 've made him the perfect killer.
Severus: [gesturing to Draco] You've ruined a perfectly good young man, is what you've done. Look at it. It's got anxiety.

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Bellatrix: We 've made him the perfect killer.
Severus: [gesturing to Draco] You've ruined a perfectly good young man, is what you've done. Look at it. It's got anxiety.
[harry and male reader had to stay in snape classroom for detention]
male reader : professor snape, can i tell you a joke?
snape : [sigh] sure.
male reader : lily evans.
snape : [glaring at male reader] i don't get it.
male reader : [smirked] exactly.
[harry try not to laugh]
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Snape, three seconds after joining forces with Harry: now i know why you refer to this as a suicide squad, potter
Snape: i already wanna kill myself
How the scene should have gone:
Harry: My dad didn't strut
Severus:
Remus: Well...
Harry:??
Remus: To be honest your dad was kind of an asshole Harry
Severus: So you’re friends with Black and Potter?
Remus: I am, yes.
Severus: Do you do any other charity work?
Snape: Give it up. We all know you're in love with her.
Voldemort: What makes you think I am in love with Bellatrix?
Snape: Well, for one thing, I never said a name.
Severus: No one really likes me *sigh*
Snapedom: Are you sure?
Severus: Yeah…
Snapedom: *aggressively pointing at themselves* ARE YOU REALLY FUCKING SURE ABOUT THAT!?
Snape on Dumbledores death: He died of natural causes.
Harry: You pushed him off a roof!
Snape: Gravity is natural.