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Princess Peach: What are your three best qualities?

Mario: I’m cute, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

Princess Peach: Can I ask you for a favor?

Mario: I would literally die for you, but continue.

Princess Peach: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

*Mario is fighting Bowser*

Luigi: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat him!

Mario: The power to believe in myself!?

Luigi: No, a knife! Stab him!

Princess Peach: *yawns*

Mario: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Princess Peach: Then you must be exhuasted.

Luigi: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

Princess Peach: So, what is Mario to you?

Luigi: The reason I wake up every morning.

Princess Peach: ...That’s adorable.

Mario earlier that morning, barging into Luigi′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

Mario: Say no to drugs.

Wario: Say yes to drugs.

Luigi: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs, cause if you're talking to drugs... then you're on drugs.

Mario: I am 39 cheetos tall.

Luigi: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos?

Mario: Because we're out of doritos.

Yoshi: What’s up with Mario? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Luigi: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Yoshi: Why?

Luigi: Princess Peach smiled at him.

#incorrectmarioquotes