#india anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - July 31

maladaptive daydream anon, india anon, freshman anon, 9 months anon (new), @that-one-gay-from-the-gay-club

maladaptive daydream anon

hey cas, maladaptive daydreaming anon here! everything went well for a week at least, then I was back to daydreaming again. but i guess there's a change now? every time i do it, i just feel so angry and upset at myself, and like, i have this feeling of how cringe this is, but i just can't seem to stop. i am a student and a writer, and there really seems to be something wrong with me. i am not in a condition to like, seek professional help, so i'm trying my absolute best to get by. I just opened up my google Docs, and the sheer number of incomplete works really freaked me out. fuck. I really hope it gets better from here on.

Thank you for listening, hope you have a great day🤍

Hi!

I'm sorry you're struggling right now <3

Remember that being hard on yourself isn't going to help anything, though. Be kind to yourself. Do you know if there's any support groups on like reddit or discord? Also would it help if maybe you got involved in like a club or something to keep yourself busy?

I'm sending you love, please be kind to yourself!

__

india anon

hey its india anon. again :) im so glad i could make you laugh with my story, and thank you so much for your kind words (this sounds formal now...)

i just wanted to clarify that my friends shipping me is not pressurising in any way, its a sort of fun for us in our mundane ass school, and honestly i wouldn't even have realised i had my first crush without them annoying me (playfully) into realising it so....

anyways thanks for listening again, hope you have a great day :) Bonus: i realised today i have the opportunity to see her in western formals (which in my opinion is one of the hottest outfits women can wear) and im freaking out ahhhhhh

Hi!

Okay I'm glad you don't feel pressured. And omg I hope things go well at formal! Is that similar to a prom??

___

freshman anon

freshman anon!

yeah i mean our mutuals have faced similar situations with her, not with materialistic things like me but definitely in other ways.

anyway im the type of person who needs to text people everyday to stay in touch and she isn't, like she prefers more lowkey and laid back friendships and just, as a way to protect my own feelings and not get disheartened wherever she doesn't reply properly, I've been texting her less. and it's actually not too bad because we have midterms in 2-3 weeks (they start august 13th) so not like we have a lot to text eachother anyway. and whenever we DO talk it just seems..BETTER? because it's more proper? idk if I told you but like last year she used to be a really dry texter but THANK GOD not anymore.

i realised I'm still gonna like her no matter what. it's just smth that won't go away. i just need to stop caring too much about her because we don't function the same - im more feeling, she's more thinking (enfp/j vs intp) and im the type to read into things and she's the type to just. do things. without having a double meaning behind it. so. yeah

but still. because of my whole "i need to text someone everyday to remain close" especially since I don't see/talk to her everyday in school, im scared to lose touch with her. at one point I was the type to be like "omg this happened today i need to tell her asap!!!" to make conversation but now i don't feel like it anymore because she doesn't REALLY need to know but

IDK

(you can show my ask dw)

Ugh yeah this is a frustrating thing because it sounds like you two just like...do friendship differently? It's hard because I would hope she might try more if you communicate your needs but I've also been the person to just...not be able to give in a friendship what the person needs and it's so hard for both people. I think it's mature of you to realize it's her, and not you. Remember that it's okay to look for friends that DO meet your needs. It doesn't make you a bad person <3

___

9 months anon

idk if this is how I’m supposed to do this and I have such a long story but I need to in the very least write it out.

Ok so I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 9 months now, we’ve never gone on a date and don’t really act like we’re dating. If anything we are more awkward around each other then when we were just friends. Us getting together was a bit of a mess, a friend kinda pressured us to confess and get together. (They meant well, we’ve talked about it with them sense). We did get together at a bad time, it was in important year in school (so we didn’t have a lot of time together) even if it hadn’t been, her parents are super overbearing and homophobic so we can’t text a lot. We both don’t have the best mental health, it’s been quite a hard year and I know she feels bad about us not going on dates. I have quite bad anxiety and with her current struggles it just makes everything so much harder. Some of our other friends have just got into relationships and they get to do so many more things together. I feel bad about it, I wish i could do those things with my gf. We’ve got a few more years of school together. And when our other best friend leaves next year we’ll be each others closest friend in school, so we’re both scared of fucking something up. And as if everything wasn’t complicated enough I’ve started developing a crush on a friends friend who I met recently (which I feel really guilty about because I do genuinely love my gf and being in a relationship with her). I just don’t know what to do

Hi! <3

Okay you're probably not going to like my advice but....you need to talk to her. Good, strong relationships- platonic and romantic- start with communication, and if you don't communicate, this will just get more awkward.

Start by talking about what you both want out of this relationship. Say "hey, I like how we do x. I wish we could do more y. How do you feel?" and go from there. If things don't match up, you can say, "I really, really, care about you and I don't want us wanting different things to make it so we fall apart. do you think we'd be better as friends? communicate.

Focus on that first. If things get better, see how that affects your crush on the other person. If you still have that crush, that might be a sign to leave the relationship. If the crush fades, then maybe it was just you wishing for something better and it's gone now that you got it.

But as terrifying as it is, you have to communicate <3

___

@that-one-gay-from-the-gay-club

aight cas ive got something i just DONT understand.

when people spend half their life complaining about how characters are depicted, why dont they just... write them the way they want? i just tried to have a coversation with a regulus anti [well, they said they liked regulus until jegulus became a thing because people started depicting him "wrong"] but when i suggested [genuinely, like i wasnt trying to start something] that they write it themselves, they basically said if i dont like them i should block them and didnt want to have a conversation with them. thats not what i wanted but like? i didnt find a lot of black brothers rep i liked and so i just wrote my own? and it wasnt really that hard?

i just genuinely dont understand

yeah this one is hard. Like obviously everyone has a right to their opinion, that's fine! I have negative opinions of different things in fandom too. But like you said, people are well within their rights to write the things they want to see, rather than complaining about it.

I think when it crosses the line is when they bitch about specific writers/fics. That's not okay. If they're vaguely complaining and they're not listening you when you're trying to be genuine...ig blocking is the only thing TO do.

[lewishcmilton]

Not me asking for your number though. #btown

incheresting

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

To the anon from India. Imagine how surprised I was when I learned about how the industry works and how disgusting the shit hole was. But they love to sell these kind of things

[perpetually-jungshook]

art exhibition, "cleaning up his act" MY BOY TAE HAS A LOVE INTEREST ~India anon (yes, I stayed up its now 1:44am)

YOU STAYED UP. FOR THIS STORY. MY MATERNAL INSTINCTS ARE SCREAMING but I’m also so flattered :’) please get some sleep 💖 thank you for reading~ and yeah you caught me DING DING DING 😂 it’s been up for less than an hour an we already have a winer. Looks like Goldilocks Tae is coming back. But I’m also keeping this super low key and not tagging/tagging it as a spoiler so other people have a chance to figure it out too 😉 proud of you for close reading, honey-bun. Sleep well!

Much love ~🐰 xx

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - Sept 15

midnights anon, worst walk ever anon (new), india anon, mandatory swimming anon (new), avoidant attachment anon (new)

midnights anon

Hello Cas! It’s midnights anon again, how are you?

School like, just started really. It’s the 3rd day of real classes and I was told by my junior, senior, and sophomore friends from last year that sophomore year is awful. And it’s starting to feel that way too

I sobbed because I hated my body and hair this morning. I don’t know what it was about today and this year but I’ve been more dysphoric than ever. I had a lot of homework (68 words to be memorized by tomorrow??? Assigned today??? On top of other things????). My school randomly decided to delete everyone’s Canva premium education account so all of our study material from the previous years there is permanently deleted (including my resumé). Math is actually hard. science is genuinely hard in a new way. I’m getting brain fog like, 24/7 because of how much there is to do. My school refuses to give me a work permit because I’m too young and I have to contact my public school (??? I don’t know what school my district would tell me to go to if I was in public??? How do I find out??? “Schools near me”???? I’ve never been contacted/contacted those people before????). I haven’t been to karate in a long time because of illness, and their own summer break and karate is a large reason I am sane during the week. I’m applying to so many jobs/internships but I also feel like I have no time because of how late homework keeps me so I have to do a ton over the weekend. My birthday party is on Saturday which I’m looking forward to but a party is a party regardless of who it’s for, and it’ll take a lot out of me.

I feel like I have to climb a mountain. I feel like last year I assumed I was “all better” when it came to my body and mental health, and that the hard part was over, and now I don’t know what to think. Now I feel like that big scary mountain of learning to not want to die just gave way to a bigger mountain of… I don’t even know anymore? Managing stress? Wanting to actually live? Not feeling ill in my head anymore? I feel like I’m doing a lot worse really. I’ve been told that maybe I’m feeling like this because I  was so bad I felt fine, and now I have to feel bad again to go to feeling “good” fine? I don’t know. I feel so disassociated and so sad. How is everyone else doing this? Everyone else looks put together, and seems to be fine, why am I failing?

I want to be okay. I can’t ever imagine being okay again, and it sounds drastic, and I know it’ll pass, but it feel like the idea of doing things the rest of my life just feels miserable. Not even doing things as in school, but doing things as in… existing? Maybe I’m just tired and cranky and maybe whatever imbalance in my brain that gave me depression is acting up again

I just want to like being alive. It feels like a good life (whatever day dreams I have of enjoying day to day life and not wanting to end it daily, and actually being afraid of life ending. Having friends who I can feel less performance-y with. Having a job) doesn’t feel like it’s past a big obstacle. It feels completely separate. Like a parallel line. Going forwards is hard but at least you know where you’re going. Going sideways feels impossible

I don’t know how to go sideways.

(If you don’t want to answer this ask please don’t feel like you have to, by the way. I’ve been sending in a lot of them, I’m sorry)

Thank you for reading! 🫶✨

Hi <3

You never have to feel bad about sending me asks, please don't worry. And I hope you know, you are NOT the only one who's feeling these things. Life, especially life at this age, is SO fucking hard. It's a mix of wanting and needing to do things on your own, but having no idea how. It's so overwhelming.

Keep trying to find a support system and coping skills that sustain you, and know that things WILL get better, it just doesn't happen overnight. But you're doing amazing <3

Also, try the town hall for a permit?

____

worst walk ever anon

This is less an ask and more a rant so sorry.

For context, I can’t run. AT ALL. I messed up my right hip somehow sometime within the last 3 years and now I can’t run. Also today I was wearing a very cute outfit consisting of white tights, chunky heels with bears on, a cardigan my grandma made me and a piano dress. I love this outfit.

Anyway I was walking home from school today and I was rushing because the set up we have is that I walk to a road far from school and my mum drives me the rest of the way home to dodge traffic and usually it works. But I always feel bad because this is how she spends her lunch break and that’s not fair so i try to get to her as quick as possible. But since I’m sixth form I get let out earlier than most kids if I have no lessons. And I had to go to a teachers office to get smthn back before I could leave school and I had to find where I left my coat and I was like 9 minutes late at the end of this. And it was raining. So I had to begin my freaking miserable walk in the rain to my mums car. Fun. And men kept pulling over and like asking me stuff and like one guy wolf whistled really loud which i don’t know what he expected but it was really loud and I have INTENSE sensory issue so I just covered my ears and shut down. Good job, mate. Anyway, sounds like everything bad that could go wrong, did go wrong, right? Just wait.

I was crossing a road to get to my mums car and like half my walk was done and I was so fed up at this point and then I heard a car coming so I tried to run but as previously stated, I can’t run so I just like either fell or threw myself onto the pavement, I’m not too sure and the driver went on and I just wanted to lie in my defeated heap on the cold, wet ground and I think I screamed when I hit the ground, I’m not sure. And I got up and I could feel my elbow bleeding and my ankle really hurt and I looked down and both my knees were bleeding and my pretty white tights were ripped slightly and very bloody and I still had the other half of my wall to my mums car and I limped the entire way after texting her to apologise for how long I was talking and then when I finally got to her car she told me she wanted to get me from school since there wouldn’t be traffic where I finished earlier than everyone else but I didn’t answer my phone so she just went to the planned meet point and oh my gosh I need to put my phone on loud and also Jesus Christ what angle did I fall at for my entire body to be this wrecked.

I sprained my ankle and currently can’t walk and when I took of my rather tragic tights and my precious cardigan to get in pyjamas there was like dried up blood that had formed a powder and fell out of both of them 😖

Worst walk home EVER. 0/10.

Omg this sounds so awful. I feel like it's days like this that just make me want to curl up in a ball in bed and give up for a few hours. I hope you were able to clean your cardigan and your ankle feels better soon <3

___

india anon

hey cas!!! how are you? i hope you're doing well it's india anon again, hiii! i'm here because like, i don't know if i ever mentioned this before, but i'm in 11th grade right now, and i'm studying for this huge entrance exam for engineering college after 12th. i dunno if you know bout it, but in india, IIT (indian institute of technology) is this huge university with multiple branches across india, and it is the most famous and biggest institute for engineering in india. it has this entrance exam in which hundred thousands of students try for and only a few thousand get in, and its like very huge. and so preparation for that along with school is very difficult. it's pretty common for grades to drop in the last tvo years of school if you're preparing for them, because if you pass the entrance exam, your grades don't exactly matte that much in the future but my parents don't seem to get it and they're also stressing that i get good grades in school too, and don't seem to undestand i can't put all efforts into both anygays, so for the past six months, this has been sort of not great for me mentally, and i've been getting symptoms of anxiety (according to my dad, who's a doctor, but not a psychiatrist). however, he didn't really talk to anyone about it, and claimed that 'they'll just give you medicine and i don't want you dependent on medicine' even though aren't the medicines given for a reason???!!!! so recently they've gotten much worse and dad finally talked to a psychiatrist in the same hospital, and she gave me some medicine but my dad said she said i have 'unclear symptoms'.

now, onto my point this is like very frustrating, because ever since i was a child, i have been not great medically, but for some reasons, none of my health issues ever get properly diagnosed! so i have sort of developed this obsession (??) over trying to figure out what is actually wrong with me, and knowing that i am clearly not well, but getting tests done and not getting a diagnosis is so fucking frustrating i swear to god. so now, knowing i have this problem that could be anxiety, but not knowing if it is so damn annoying and irritating. also, i'm leaning towards anxiety because it makes sense, my dad thinks so, and also because i googled the medicine the psychiatrist gave and it is used for treating symptoms of anxiety (it is also a less concentrated version of the exact medicine my mother uses for her high blood pressure problems 😭😭😭)

anygaysss thanks for reading this, i didn't know who to talk to about this, or what to do about this obsession over diagnosing myself so i came here... um, that's it, bye cas, have a great day <33333

Hi!

I definitely understand the (no pun intended) anxiety of not knowing exactly what's wrong. It's super stressful and can make you ruminate a lot. I think in this case, I would ask the doctor who prescribed you the meds what their thoughts are. Like you said, your dad isn't a psychiatrist, so this isn't his specialty. But if a doctor gave you meds for anxiety, it sounds like they at lest know something about it, you know? Ask their thoughts and what you might be able to do to get a formal diagnosis (or not).

It's okay to want the answers! I think it's just important to ask the right person :D

___

mandatory swimming anon

Hi Cas *wave*

I'm at a little bit of a loss rn, so I thought I'd ask for your opinion. So, my school has mandatory swimming for all 9th and 10th graders, and the only way to get out of it is for your guardians to pull you out of that part of the curriculum. I am a hellenic polytheist, and I like to dress modestly as an aspect of that, and that involves me wearing a headscarf. So swimming is a little bit of an issue as bathing suits are uncomfortably revealing and my mother is unwilling to pull me from swimming. :( Last year, I just went in the pool with my clothes on, and this resulted in two separate discussions with my school counselors about whether the gym teacher harassed or touched me sexually, bc the situation was just so random and had literally never happened before. The counceller was very nice about the situation and she pulled me out of swimming, but now I have a new counselor and idk what to do. I dont like telling people that im a hellenic polythiest bc a lot of people view it as a fake religion and at the same time, Ive been having some insecurities about my religion and modesty and the swimming crap is just amplifing it. My mother also does not support he whole headscarf thing and religion is a point of contention in our house bc 1. we're ethnically jewish and 2. she views religion as a sign of stupidity. I figured I should either get in contact with counseling, or maybe just grow a pair and buy a modest bathing suit? They're expensive though, and while its not mandatory to be modesty 100% of the time, none of my class mates have seen my legs or chest 'n stuff, and I dont really want them to. I might borrow my stepfathers rash guard and wear leggings in the pool, but tight clothes isn't really preferable and idk how I'd change. Idk. sorry for yapping lmao i probably really overexplained rip

Hi!

Please dont be sorry!

So your school's laws could be different than mine, but I know where I work, we aren't allowed to ask too many questions. I think the best place to start would be to go to the counselor and simply say 'because of my religion, I choose to stay modest, so I am worried about the swimming. Do you have alternatives?' You don't have to say WHAT your religion is, that's nobody's business. See what the counselor says from there and what options you have. Like what rules and requirements there are, you know? Explain about the monetary concern with a modest bathing suit, see if the school can help, or see if the school has an alternative curriculum. Once you know your options, if there's not a lot of wiggle room, then go back to your parents to as again about getting out of it.

Good luck!

__

avoidant attachment anon

hi cas. I'm so sorry to plague your inbox, I'm just at a loose end and terrified/unsure of what I'm doing. I don't think I'm the person that everyone around me thinks I am? Lots of them seem to think I'm (insert a stereotype here) but in reality I'm not sure I fit a stereotype or a simple personality like they think I do?

I'm scared that I've tricked/trapped my partner by turning out to not be who he started dating. Now that I'm figuring out who I am more, I feel like I'm not the person he loves and I'm scared to tell him.

I thought the whole "avoidant attachment" claim was just something made up to generate internet interest for a little, but I looked into it and now I feel like it's too close to how I am. My partner is great and he's the nicest person, but I just feel like I'm constantly unhappy. I do think that he used to use me like his therapist of sorts, and acted as though I was google/a search engine to ask anything to and have it solve his problems, but he's stopped that now and I'm still not completely happy.

I feel like sometimes he assumes how I'm feeling and what I want which is something that I've spoken to him before about. I don't know how to communicate this to him right now though because I've already spoken to him (more irritably than I should have) about little things like that too much lately and I don't want to be a nagging girlfriend.

I'm so so sorry for all of this! Please don't feel the need to reply to this all, since I did use this to organise my feelings and thoughts.

Hi!

Well first of all, I don't think ANYONE is the stereotype people assume them to be. When you get in a relationship-romantic or platonic- part of it is getting to know the person under the mask and deciding if you want to continue getting to know that person. That's normal!

Also, ALL people change! Again, that's part of a relationship- growing, and deciding if you want to continue to grow together.

I think the thing is, you do need to communicate this to him. What if you wrote down your feelings, or even showed him what you wrote to me? You're allowed to change, that's part of life, but you've committed to him, so he deserves to know who he's committed to, you know? I know it's hard, but communication is so important <3

Sending love and luck!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - August 22

syllabus anon, school curriculum anon, ellie anon, india anon, stokholm syndrome anon (new)

syllabus anon

hey cas, syllabus anon here! yeah, you're right. when we talked about it later, he also said the same thing — that he also could have come up to me to talk. But also, I was with the adults almost the whole time, so yeah😬 He did apologize to me afterwards if what he said made me upset, but I'm honestly a little proud that he actually has started communicating, because that was a problem in our relationship before. Instead of keeping it inside, he told me what was bothering him. So, that's a start, i guess. And also, no, I'm not going to tell him I took advice😂😂 I just wanted to think about it a little more, so I talked to you and my best friend, and both of you said the same thing. Well, it's still a bit awkward now, to talk, and we're working on that. It might take a few days. I still feel so genuinely bad, and I keep thinking about why I didn't just talk to him then, though there's no point thinking about it now😬 Hopefully, things will get better soon. We're both still so young, and I think this might be a way of figuring things out. Thank you cas, for listening ❤

Hi!

I'm glad he apologized too and you guys were able to communicate! I'm always happy to listen <3

___

school curriculum anon

Hi Cas!

I can officially say, it is all very much over.

I managed to apparently do really well in the placement test, I left my honest review about my courses I took on their website (which they said they’d publish and “take into consideration” on the form but I don’t think they’ll post anything about my experience lol), my teachers received my transcript, and I am officially taking precalc this year!

I feel rather stupid and silly for being upset at all, and crying, and making it everyone’s problem, and I’m sorry for all the times I came here and complained.

Thank you for being so so supportive and understanding, even when I made it difficult

Bye bye! 🫶✨

—School curriculum anon

OMG that's amazing! I'm so proud of you!! I'm also EXTRA proud of you for leaving an honest review

You definitely shouldn't feel stupid. Emotions are always valid and I think you definitely had a right to feel upset about all of this. PLEASE don't feel bad about coming to me, it was no problem at all. I hope precalc goes well, and feel free to inbox me whenever! <3

___

ellie anon

Hi hon <3

I am SO sorry for everything you're going through and I am EXTRA sorry that your parents aren't being kind or supportive about it. reading what you wrote broke my heart.

Do you have any other adults in your life who you feel safe talking to about it? Maybe a family member, a teacher, or a therapist? I really just want you to have a safe person <3

Sending you love <3

___

india anon

hi cas :) how's it going??? its india anon again (the one with the first crush, that too on a girl if u dont remember)

so, as much fun as it is to finally have a crush, i am absolutely not having fun. cause like, i know she's straight. and i'm fine with it (or so i tell myself). but like, my mind decides to randomly remind me when im doing anything, ANYTHING, that even if i manage to become a good friend of hers, i can't do anything more than that. CAUSE SHE'S STRAIGHT!! and im just like bro??? to my mind because why'd u remind me that when im trying to study 😭😭😭 and on top of that, my best friend is also going through a crisis in her love life at the same time, so we're both simultaneously ranting to each other and weeping about why we end up in this situation, but atleast its together this time. but also, i do have one thing to look up to :) so im in 11th grade. and in india, you get to choose what subjects you want to study in 11th based on what you want to do in the future. so i chose science subjects, with computer science with it. and my mom's an income tax officer and extremely experienced with economics, and she loves economics too, and she kept trying to convince me to take it except CS. and i wanted to take CS for like years so i didn't listen (thank god for my dad supporting me). but even like 2 months after choosing, and uptil like just one month ago she was like, you can still change to economics, and she'd randomly send me news articles about how economics is extremely important in today's world and al, and try to convince me, which, ok, i understand its important, but i dont have interest in it- not as much as CS. so frankly it was sort of irritating, but mostly disheartening that she doesn't understand i dont want economics and that i was actually enjoing CS. but like, its been maybe a month or so since i dont remember her bringing up me taking economics as a subject and IM SO HAPPY!!! maybe she's finally accepting??? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (happy scream :) )

anyways thats it :) sorry for the long ass rant, i didn't expect it to be that long hope you have a great day cas!!! stay safe and stay kickin!

Hi!

Ugh, well I'm glad at least you and your friend can be there for each other? It's much better to go through those things with another person instead of alone. I hope it gets easier soon </3

As far as your classes and your mom...I'm so glad she's accepting what you want! Computer Science is such a cool choice, and I mean...it's definitely a well-paid, highly-sought-after career, so it's not like she should be worried about your future, you know? I hope you enjoy the classes, it sounds like fun!

<3

___

stokholm syndrome anon

hello!

i’m not normally one to do these sorts of things, but im trying my best to bear with me!

so i know this girl. she’s genuinely beyond lovely and i am falling hard. like, face first off a cliff. anyways, we had a very rough start. to summarize, we met about a year ago in june, where we both came to mutually like each other, then i confessed in july. things were good until i made a bit of a shit choice to leave in october (not sure why, i had (and still have) both avoidant attachment issues and BPD, which i think contributed). afterwards, i asked to get back with her sometime in…december i think?? (pretty sure that was a dickhead move) and then both of us had a bit of a mental health plummet (i wont disclose her reasons but mine were a few problems with friends and just a bit of an episode overall) and when i asked her to breakup then we both came to a mutual agreement that it would be good because we couldn’t focus on and put our all into a relationship at that moment.

anyways, now i’m here. i spent most of february being confused as hell and then in march i met one of our mutual friends who i had sort of been developing stockholm syndrome with over a few months (they did some crazy shit) and almost got into a pseudo relationship with before i snapped out of it (not important). anyways, after that i was pretty much absolutely sure i was falling for her (my ex) again. i think i always had been there had just been that hiccup. so essentially what happened over the past few months was we (my ex, a mutual friend, and the stockholm syndrome person) all ended up meeting up in person, which kind of like…sparked something?? anyways after that we all kind of started talking again which made me fall for my ex harder.

basically, i feel really guilty about liking her still since i left both times, i don’t know if she reciprocates (though i have seen some things that look like flirting if you squint that i might be reading too much into), and overall its really confusing with the add on of the stockholm syndrome person who i know most DEFINITELY has a crush on me (they’re getting weirder btw, like obsessed and obsessive levels, and im trying not to engage both because i find it weird and i don’t want my ex to think i like them back because she knows a bit about the pseudo relationship thing (not a lot) anyways thats not important), overall its just a big mess and im confused as hell.

Hi!

Yeah this definitely sounds confusing and overwhelming. I think, especially because of your history with this person, my advice would be to take your time. Don't jump in. Maybe take a few weeks to feel out your feelings, talk with your ex, just see how things go. You seem to be getting into a pattern of on-again-off-again and you don't want to continue that, you know? I know it feels like you should DO something, but sometimes the best action is inaction, especially when there's a lot riding on something. It doesn't hurt to go slow and feel things out.

Keep me updated if you want! <3

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - August 3rd

school curriculum anon, india anon, mirrorball anon, important decision anon (new), rushed anon (new)

school curriculum anon

Hi Cas! It’s school curriculum anon

It’s nearly over!! And I am still stressed out of my mind!

I only have 2 final tests, a practice test, and 3 assignments/tests to do over the next three days. Honestly, by the time you receive/answer this it might all be over

But the teachers are pretty slow at grading, and they’re not very clear on how long getting a transcript will take, it either takes 2 days or 14, so I’m trying to finish in the next 3 days in case it’s the 2 weeks option.

I’d do some studying today, but my body is in pain because of my period AND allergies, so I took some cough syrup thinking it would help, but apparently it made me nauseous, light headed, and (according to my dad, whose very familiar with the medication since it’s popular in where he grew up) slightly high???? I literally cannot move without gasping for air and stumbling. So… i can’t really study.

My goal is to force my body and head to rest, eat, sleep, and be as healthy as possible for the next 3 days.

But now that the end is near, I’m getting really really scared. What if I fail the placement test at school? What if I don’t get the transcript in soon enough? What if I don’t finish the courses with a B+ or higher? I’m so scared something will go wrong and I cannot do anything about it because I’m trapped in my body that is currently trying to process cough syrup in the least helpful way possible.

I feel like I’m dying.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhskajsjdjdjfjfjffjjfjfkdsoallkjdffff

Hi!!

I really hope that by now, you're feeling better and you're feeling relieved, because you have everything done!

As far as the other things you're worried about- tests, transcripts, grades- let's try to focus on what you can control, okay? Focus on resting, on studying, on giving yourself breaks. You have worked SO HARD, and you deserve to celebrate that. I am so proud of you, and you should be proud of you, too!

Keep me updated!

___

india anon

india anon again 👋👋👋 :)

actually, i should've clarified, the event in MUN (model united nations)

the dress code is usually 1 day western formals and 1 day indian formals, and um, both of them are very hot if u wear them right (and she looks good in everything!!!)

tho what's very sad is that we don't have proms :(

our schools would rather(redacted)than let ANY EVENT that even SLIGHTLY promotes couples (???) exist + u r screwed if the teachers have even an inkling that ur dating someone for eg the time there were rumours this girl and boy were dating and we were on a school trip so they LITERALLY separated the boys and girls for whatever time we were travelling and all, or even walking to some place so.....yeah

no prom :(

but yeahhhhhhh i get to see her 💃💃💃

Oh wow, yeah, hat's very strict. But still, the formal nights sound like fun!! You have to let me know how it goes, I'm excited for you!

___

mirrorball anon

Hi hon <3

Im so sorry your parents are being so awful. I think the important thing is, how do YOU feel about yourself? Do YOU like your haircut? Do YOU feel good in your body? If you do, then fuck what they think. It sounds like you're healthy, so their opinions are fucking wrong, you know?

I'm so sorry they don't realize the damage they're doing </3

__

important decision anon

Hi cas, how are you? I've found myself stuck on a rather important decision so i thought I'd ask for some advice.

Basically, in my country high school works pretty strangely, we don't just have one but different kinds of high schools each specifically dedicated to certain subjects. I've done my first two years at a scientific lyceum and changed schools. I went for the classic lyceum, which to get into i need to pass an ancient greek exam cause it's the only subject studied there that i haven't studied at my past school. Thing is, mainly cause the school didn't give me a reply until july i now have only a month to study two years worth of material and i genuinely don't know if i can do it, also I've learned that i wouldn't go into a healthy and positive environment at all. What i actually would like to do is go to the artistic high school instead, however since I've always been academically smart and the art school isn't seen as a school for 'smart' people, i feel like my family wouldn't approve much, like they'd be supportive but constantly tell me I'm wasted there. I really don't know what to do, because i don't want to feel like I'm wasting my potential but i also don't want to boil my brain studying only to go into a pretty negative environment when one of the reasons why i left my previous school was the environment.

What would you suggest?

Hi!

Wow, see I go back and forth about education systems that have kids make specialization decisions so early. Like part of me thinks its cool that you get to learn more about what interests you but part of me is like...what if you change your mind?

I guess my question is, if you go to the art school, will you still get credentials to possibly do something different for university? I definitely agree that you shouldn't do into a toxic environment, nor should you get burnt out so young. But I feel like it might be smart to look into what people do after they graduate? See what your options are for the future, you know? That way you can also have information for if your parents say something negative.

Life is short and you should do what you want to do. You shouldn't wear yourself out. But you should like...fully research what that choice is, I think. Make sure it's what you want, before you do it <3

Keep me updated!

___

rushed anon

ok this is gonna be rushed and maybe not make sense but im going crazy. pt 1 bc i have character limit?? k so basically lots of shit has happened but long story short my mom got mad at me 2 days ago and took my phone. my friend m texted me and she saw and started going back thru texts and saw me mentioning "coming out" to m and kept asking me questions until i admitted im bi. i hadnt told her bc christian and i was scared bc she def doesnt support. anyways now she knows, i called my dad to tell him bc i didnt want HER to tell him so now they both know. wooo. anyways she read through every text ive ever sent m and is now flipping out bc she thinks hes a bad influence (bc we talk abt heavy topics ie depression suicide). she thinks we text WAYY too much and that its weird bc im a girl and hes a boy and she thinks that like none of my friends are trustworthy and i shouldnt be putting stuff in writing. anywasy she literally read EVERY text. found out i have tiktok and that i delete texts and read a bazillion messages of me complaining abt her being controlling and victim mentality and stuff - which like, i was VENTINGGGGGG. but now shes rlly hurt says she doesnt know me etc. which is fair but then WHY RU LOOKING THRU MY PHONEEEE. she also is being weird bc its m - keeps saying if it was one of my girl friends or a friend i knew better itd be different but its him so its weird and she feels "betrayed". idk why im sending this but im just really stressed and annoyed rn and like shes not letting me do counseling tmrw or hang out with my friends like i was supposed to which like valid i get it i broke her trust but im also just annoyed that she even read my messages in the first place ig. im conflicted cos i see her side tho. and she keeps saying nowthat i hate her which i DONTTT and like she shouldnt have read my vents!! but she keeps saying i need to journal or smth and not text ppl bc its not smart?? or something. anyways im rambling but im js stressed, she has my phone, probs i will not get it back ever - or itll be like. several months. she says shes gonna tell my teachers when school starts that i cant be trusted with technology so i need to figure out how to do stuff offline and we need to arrange that or smth. idk. i dont think i can fix this tbh and i have 3 more years until college like i cant do this. anyways. just very conflicted rn ig. things were fine yesterday but now shes pissed cuz she read more. she found a voice memo where i recorded her and my dad arguing - which i guess i didnt think abt that being a mean thing to do. shes rlly upset and i do feel bad. i recorded cuz they were talking abt me, and also bc i feel like i get so hot and cold and change my mind and think im exagerating in my head so.. idk i wanted like. a record. i never even went back and listened to it, i wasnt ever gonna send it to anyone- i forgot. but she feels rlly hurt. i dont think i can fix it but my dad isnt home rn so im gonna have to talk to him when hes home. i dont want to but whatever. i dont know what sending this does- idk if i can even get advice or if theres anything to be done. i just feel conflicted and annoyed and hopeless rn. idk. anyways. byee

Hi!

Ugh okay so this is a tough one because I'm not a parent so I genuinely don't know how I would react as the parent in this situation but like...I tend to feel like you have nothing to feel bad about. You deserve to be able to vent to your friends and talk shit about your parents without getting guilted by your mom. If you were saying UNTRUE things, then that would be one thing, but like...everyone deserves a certain amount of privacy. She didn't go through your phone to keep you safe (which I think parents have a right to do, in certain circumstances), she went through it to snoop, and that's wrong. This kind of feels like a 'fuck around and find out' situation for HER. Like she snooped, and didn't like what she saw...that's on HER not YOU.

I'm not saying you should tell her that of course. I don't think that'll help. I just feel like you shouldn't feel guilty. And I'm really sorry that she's approaching it like this, because you deserve to have feelings and privacy.

You're welcome to vent to me anytime!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - July 28

freshman anon, three hearts anon, dickheads anon (new), havent found the right person anon (new), india anon

freshman anon

heyy it's freshman anon

ya tbf if it was anyone else I would've agreed with you but she's genuinely a forgetful person. like REALLY forgetful. like forgets things about HERSELF kind of forgetful. and i told two of our mutuals the book situation and they were like "omg wtf TEN TIMES? but also trust me that is SO TYPICAL of her" and she did make it up dwwwwww

Hi!

ugh idk I just feel like that's still a LOT. like is she last forgetful when it comes to doing things for others?

Maybe I'm just not a forgiving person but yeah I just feel like it's a red flag, you know?

___

three hearts anon

hi <3

okay so...I think the best way to go about this is to explain to him WHY you did what you did, and to tell him that getting angry isn't going to help you with your emotions, you know? Him getting upset certainly isn't going to make you not want to do it again.

Maybe instead of telling him AFTER you do something, ask him if it would be okay if you go to him BEFORE you do it. Don't make it his responsibility, of course, but just see if maybe you could call him or text him if you're feeling low. That way, he's not feeling like he can't do anything and YOU feel like you have someone to go to.

I'm sending you love!

___

dickheads anon

I really hate when my parents are dickheads, like I was upstairs with my really loud fan on so obviously I couldn’t hear them shouting. Also, I tell them constantly to text me if I don’t respond to their shouting so clearly they’re just looking for a reason to yell at me

I'm sorry </3 it sucks that sometimes parents default to the assumption that kids are misbehaving instead of thinking that maybe they have a good reason <3

___

havent found the right person anon

Got told i "just havent found the right person" the first time yesterday. It took a bit of courage to tell my friend that i was aromantic and it just feels shitty for her to say that you know? But also i guess shes kind of right. Can you know if youre aromantic at 15? Idk. But it just kind of feels like shit anyway bc what else am i supposed to call it until i know then? Like people act like it doesnt but a lot of things revolve around bwing attracted to people so people will ask me if i have a crush and then i say no and then they say ok then like who did you like last and i say no one and they dont believe me. Its been this way since i was 8 but i just havent found the right person right like idk

I think plenty of people know they're aromantic by the time they're fifteen. Some people also think that and then realize they were wrong later. Either way, there's no harm at ALL in calling yourself that right now. Because the thing is, if you feel you're aromantic and having that label makes it easier to express that then you absolutely SHOULD use it, and people should 100000% respect that. Because if you're right, then being young shouldn't stop you from expressing your identity from as young of an age as possible. And if you discover later on that you feel differently, it still feels right right NOW. No matter what happens, you aren't faking these feelings and these experiences, and you deserve to be respected for that <3

___

india anon

hey, its india anon again :) so last time i was not sure about my sexuality, but i'm pretty sure i like both girls and boys now cause like i told my friends that i might be attracted to girls too and they IMMEDIATELY started shipping me with this girl who used to be in my class last year cause i told them she was mainly the reason i began questioning my sexuality

and i never thought I really liked her and that i just found her attractive BUT i recently saw her out of school at a friends party- meaning no school uniform and no braid (tho she somehow rocks that too) and like my first thought was FUCK SHE LOOKS ANGELIC and im sure that if i didnt have a crush on her before i do now and like

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

so im dying cause now i see her everywhere in school and like HOW CAN SOMEONE LOOK SO PRETTYYYY and i keep being reminded that she's straight (not that id do anything if she werent) and aghhhhh i cant stop thinking about her

fuck im screwed

anyways thats it. thats my first crush and its been 5 days into the realisation and im already done.

anyways thank you for listening (reading??) to me rant about this :)

hahaha this made me laugh, not because you're screwed but because it's so relatable. Remember- it's OKAY to be feeling these things, and even if your friends are putting pressure on you, YOU get to decide what you do about them/IF you do anything about them <3

Also thank you for the compliments you sent me, that was very kind!