they said it takes 90 seconds for a feeling to move through you
and if it hangs around longer,
it's really the story you are stuck in
me, i like to let it linger
feel the fable course through my veins
feel it slip into the bloodstream
wrap its humming pulse around my heart
lay its heavy weight across my lungs
wind its way through my intestines
feel it tingle the tips of my toes
i have to work it out in my head like a word problem in your algebra textbook
solve it like im forced to show my work
prepare for a dissertation
ready to defend and explain and assert the why
like a rubix cube im looking at from every angle
like a chessboard master who sees every possible path forward from the first move
dissecting the delicate intricacies of every idiosyncracy
marinating the minutia of my madness
if i can explain away every passing heartache
if i can justify the jubilance
rectify the regret
fill up the guilty hollow in my chest
maybe these confessional calamities won't feel so cavernous
it's like a one man performance piece
a perpetual people pleaser parsing platitudes
believing the imaginary audience utterly enraptured in every utterance
a character convinced the stage, the cage is a crucial crutch
a sour safety in the silent sanctity of the satiated set
a tortured contortionist
an odious trap
-sara power
