"Aren’t you tired of lying to yourself?" ( c o u g hs )
::『獣』vιolence ιncarnaтe ::
The taunt isn’t new, neither is this conversation.
It comes up fairly often, even more so when Izaya decides to needle him about his recently gained friendships. He wasn’t stupid enough to assume that the informant stayed out of his relationships with other people, that it wasn’t going to eventually get back to him. Hell, he’d even told Izaya himself, and such a admittance had sparked this very conversation.
He wants to say he doesn’t lie to himself, because he knows better than to even try. Monster isn’t a title given to him by Izaya alone, Shizuo has long since known that is how he’s seen. The difference, however, remained that he refused to let that be what he became; while Izaya seemed hellbent on pushing him in that direction and telling him that’s all he was. Teeth gritted, he stalks his way to the kitchen and tries adamantly to tune out whatever painful teasing follows his words.
The other man wouldn’t listen to him anyway, he knew that much. He just had to endure it until the topic became stale enough to be swept under the rug for the time being. Until the next time it’s dragged up, getting worse and worse each time. But, for now… He stays in the house and doesn’t leave in search of Celtys company instead.
He makes coffee for them, steps away from the topic and turns on a documentary. And does his best to forget the resonating pang in his chest that Izayas words always bring.