Feb. 4, 2026 (1:52PM)
Fear of Abandonment
It's one of the things I realized I have.
And when I feel like I'm about to - I either do what it takes to keep people, bend to their lifestyle, be perfect and keep them interested with my charm and be what I think I should be for them - even to the point of draining myself. Or worry and self sabotage so they leave.
For years, I have not been kind to myself; always having a mindset that people leave. People don't leave, they are just there for a season, because that's what you needed at the time. We can't force someone to play in the snow when the sun is blazing.
Forcing any situation or circumstances doesn't work.
It's okay to not be there for people when it's not good for you. And trying so hard to keep people because of fear is not being kind to yourself and them. It's like inwardly performing a character - that's not you and they won't be able to see the real you if you keep putting up an act. It's not kindness you're doing - it's destruction on yourself and others.
Don't chase - the right people will stay and you won't have to work to keep them. It will be effortless, genuine, authentic. The best part is they will stay, because you are not anyone else but you.
You have a good heart in you - it will just show, not forced and everything will just "be," and fall into place.
This is just the surface - keep digging. It will be hard and progress shouldn't stop. Don't focus on the prize, just enjoy the journey until you realize you're finally there.
