#inksinned

[strwbryfemme]

enlightening discussions with male writers

june 23, 2017 // #ed872d

[strwbryfemme]

march 29, 2017 // #fee7ea

[strwbryfemme]

march 29, 2017 // #ff2259

[kidsinlovve]

And I was lonely.

A lonely 15 year old who just wanted someone to love her like they did in the movies.

So I wrote you into existence, and you weren’t perfect, but I didn’t want you to be. 

Now I’m 22. And I can only look at you with sadness, because I was so alone that I made you. And despite my words being the only way you were alive, I wrote that you left me in the end. Because I couldn’t imagine anyone staying. 

And that breaks my heart.

[petitepoesiee]

it’s there, a small, gnawing feeling crawling up the back of my throat. a sadness clothed like a soft caring leaving the flavor of emptiness on a tongue that has long since lost the taste. it pushes against loose teeth, trying to break out into sound--it sings a song of a heartbreak the world has since grown tired of hearing, trying to yank out tears i’ve already cried months before. my teeth bite dead skin off of lip, the skin that used to touch yours flaking off into the ether. chew on the soft skin underneath, raw and red from sudden exposure, and taste the newness like the first sun of spring. my mouth will no longer give form to old sobs that have lived in my chest long past their welcome; it will birth a soft, warm light that tastes like the honey that used to run down my chin, sticky and sweet. so swallow that small, gnawing feeling and let it turn into amber. it will echo as it falls down. down, down to the pit of your stomach, but the echoes are just whispers, and whispers cannot hurt like the screams do. 

[aymaxed]

Your mother didn't raise you with a wolf in your chest so you could howl over losing a man

[karenz0]

What is life like on the other side? What's it like to see a sky not composed of timber and tundra, to feel those elements wanting to tear you from top to toe? Maybe then I'd feel that I have enough to offer, that you could finally break down my defences and design me once and for all.  Because that's what you always wanted. You wanted to know a controlling force that wasn't struck in anger.  A rage that you could channel through something more than words, that could cause catastrophes in our connection. The sparks that flew between us, the purest form of science that we could call love, sent us into recoil, falling back into what we though would have the strength to hold us. But hold us they could not. As we fell away, you felt my voice fade in your mind, you forgot my sound and how it played on every hymn sheet your body offered me.  I still have the vocal chords to shout, but they'll never bellow out what's within them again, no matter how much I force them.  I am screaming at the heavens with everything I have inside, but they have nothing to give back to me.  They have no answers for me, they cannot comprehend what I want from them. I want to know how I fell so deep in love to what what amounted to blinding smoke and a barbaric hunger for blood, a ravenous love that tore me open from every edge. I could almost call you cannibal, cubist and carnivorous in every stride into me. You displaced me far too quickly, ever so eager to drink me down and leave me festering. But once you'd drunk your fill, you left me, a hollow husk of a man with no structure on which to build on again. I remain in that body even now, I;m still so empty inside and hungry for another love to breathe into me, a helium heart but denser than air. I am not exactly animated; my lines and shapes break edges and fragment the rules they set. But I'm less statue than i though, I'm still here standing and feeling, despite the evisceration I felt at your hands.  And those hands could still hurt me even now, from so far away and with so little memory.  To even think about your touch, and how it broke me so delicately, is to drag knives through my cloud like skin; I disperse as if made of nothing but winds.  A simply phantom form, my presence is neither here not there; that feeling over your shoulder may be me, or it may not.  Until I am examined, until I am scrutinized for every part of me that could never stand back to the tensile force of you, then shaping into something recognisable is a dream I will not have the pleasure of for a long time coming.  But I dream of things still; I dream of what we could've been, I dream of what we never were.  But most of all, I dream of you. And god, how much I want you back.

MY THOUGHTS MAY FLY BUT MY HEART STILL SINKS - Princess

[karenz0]

I’ve found that this world doesn’t love how I love. This world loves too quickly, it’s too impersonal with how it falls away from love at the first sight of longevity. But me, I love for forever. I’m invested for lifetimes within moments of meeting; I’ve memorised voices I’ve known for a day and I’ve drowned myself in eyes that have only looked my way once. Fleeting glimpses and rushed words are what pull me by my collar and drag me into the undertow, confusing lust with love and turning my organs upside down. And from every observation, from every interaction of that special someone, whoever they may be, I’ve found that while my heart may bea itself into another’s mind at the merest sight, to feel another’s response with the same heartfelt heaviness is the rarest instance I’ve encountered. Freed like doves, the waves I dance with I cannot see, and they want me to fall and fall for definite. These waves, delicate though they may be, bring on brutal effects to the next floating form to escape from me. Every seemingly subdued minute, I am sending out lifeboats but returning with shipwrecks. And I don’t know how to keep my crew alive, this collection of fog formed words that spell out how deeply and devoted I feel for you, and how I’ve watched you seemingly disappear as you left me further and further away. And now, it’s just me. Alone in rooms that house both my thoughts, and the dangerously silent space they leave. They fill me up, with guilt and worry, such simple emotions to understand.  But they pile and drive their way around my subconscious, never letting me rest and keeping me right at death’s edge. That space in my head bellows louder than any collection of consonants and vowels I could ever hope to sculpt. Any words for you now would never be enough to soundproof the cyclone within me, a whirling dervish of whispers and racking sobs. Times like these remind me how loud we never were, how I never knew how deafening silence was until I heard it without you. And for feeling this empty, for carrying this weight of pure uncertainty with me wherever I go, what am I offered in return? What is the price I am paying to exist like this; to be cast aside inside my own heart, and to want to know confidence for even just a second? As far as I can tell, from what sunsets I’ve burned into my eyes and snowstorms I’ve frozen inside my veins? Absolutely nothing. I do not try to sugarcoat my sadness, but what I wouldn’t give to know a brush of wings across these exposed bones of mine. To see a heart that wants to beat for me, and feel it against my own. Ever circling and never setting, my imaginations are too random to recall collectively. But believe me, when I say that I know what I want from this world. I want its love, I want it to want me and I want it to need me. And it will, one day. Believe me.

WHAT IS TOO QUICK - Princess