#innocent mango

[arwenkenobi48]

Received an absolutely beautiful package from my dear friend @arterstrashbin today 💖💖❤️❤️💗💗

This is all so sweet, I’m so grateful for this 💞

Also Feral as a kitsune will always be adorable to me 😇

[arwenkenobi48]

Red Birb Rules

Feral: Oh my Force, Savage, you gotta see this! *holds up his iPad*

Savage: what is it?

Feral: *sly smile* the red birb

Savage: Wh-What’s the red birb?

Feral: The red birb is everything, brother. Beyond the light and dark side of the Force, Gumi-Chan the red birb reigns supreme! *hands Savage his iPad* he’s so cute, check out his YouTube channel *leaves the room*

Savage: *muttering under his breath* Red birb indeed, what’s so important about- *sees one of Gumi’s videos*

Gumi: wuewuewuewuewuewuewue *stares at Savage* wuewuewuewuewue *stares again*

Five minutes later…

Maul: *enters the room* Savage, have you seen my- *stops and stares in alarm* What the-!?

Savage: All hail Gumi-Chan!

Feral: *at the exact same time* All hail Gumi-Chan!

Gumi: *swaying back and forth onscreen with an intense stare, a spiral behind him in the background* Gumi…Gumi…Gumi…

Maul: *slowly backing away* What kind of bizarre hypno bird cult have my kin been sucked into??

[arwenkenobi48]

The Porg Lunch Mafia

It was the middle of the night at the castle. Aside from a vampire who was the self-proclaimed Prince of Darkness and a dhampir reading Edgar Allan Poe by candlelight, everyone who lived there was asleep. There was one other exception, however.

Sauron sneaked down the narrow passageways, determined to find the kitchen. He was going to have a midnight feast all to himself and this time, those infernal seabirds would not stand in his way.

It had been two weeks since the bug-eyed, potato shaped seabirds called Porgs had been introduced to the castle and since then, Sauron’s life had been a nightmare. It was Ezra who had brought the crate of porgs home, 12 of them to be exact, and gifted one to each member of the brotherhood. Everyone had been smitten with them.

Mephistopheles couldn’t stop nuzzling his porg, Devil spoke to his like it was a baby, Friedrich had begun trying to teach is one to sing, and so on and so forth. The dark lord, on the other hand, was not easily swayed. “Why are these wide-eyed waterfowl in the house?” He demanded. “Because, that’s why.” Gabriel replied, giving his porg gentle scritches.

One afternoon, Sauron had been sitting on the couch and was about to eat a footlong from subway, when he heard a familiar chirping noise. He looked up and saw to his amazement that all 12 of the porgs were gathered around him like ducks waiting to be fed. “Birds, I don’t have any seed,” Sauron dryly told them.

Ignoring this, the porgs all formed a ring around the baffled Sauron and began chirping insistently. “Ezra, what are they doing?” Sauron asked, a little unsettled. “They’re going to keep you there until you feed them.” The young man replied, as if this was a normal everyday occurrence. Sauron raised his eyes to the heavens. “This day is not going in my diary,” he grumbled.

The porgs began squawking insistently, looking intently at the sandwich as if it was the holy grail. In vain, Sauron tried to move away, but the squawking only intensified. Despite being birds, those porgs had pretty sharp looking fangs. After a very intense couple of minutes, Sauron finally gave in. “Oh, very well. Take it. It’s not like I was looking forward to it all week or anything.”

Sauron watched in misery as the porgs devoured his sandwich. “Well, at least that’s out of the way,” he told himself. But it wasn’t the end of his troubles. It was only the beginning. This incident kickstarted almost a fortnight of the porgs mooching off of Sauron’s meals. Nobody else’s, just his. Before long he couldn’t even eat a slice of pizza without one of the porgs flapping over and dragging all the toppings off.

It got to the point that when everyone was having breakfast, the porgs are stood around Sauron, chirping rhythmically as if they were eldritch monsters demanding a sacrifice. Looking incredibly resigned, Sauron pushed the bowl of Froot Loops he’d been about to eat towards the porgs and gave them the entire packet for good measure.

Everyone else found Sauron’s predicament hilarious, which did not help in the slightest. “Don’t be mad at them, Sauron, they’re just sweet little birdies,” Feral giggled. “They are not ‘sweet little birdies’, they’re the feathered mafia!” Sauron protested. Dr Neo Cortex spoke up. “My little N Thrall would never- Oh wait, yes he would, and I totally endorse it!” He grinned.

N Thrall. Oh, how Sauron loathed N Thrall. That was Cortex’s porg and was essentially the ringleader of the gang. That deceptively innocent ball of floof had started this whole dilemma. As his master petted him, he chirped and batted his eyes and everyone fawned over how oh-so-cute he was. N Thrall gave Sauron a sinister look. One that had “your lunch is mine!” written all over it.

Trying to stifle his growling stomach, Sauron entered the castle kitchen. He didn’t care if he ended up making the grossest meal imaginable, at least it would be a full meal. However, as soon as he entered the room, the familiar sound of a porg chirping reached his ears. “Oowoo…” The light switched on and there stood N Thrall, standing on the kitchen table, the fruit bowl behind him.

For a solid minute, Sauron and the porg stared each other down like they’d stepped out of a cowboy movie. The them from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly might as well have been playing in the background. Who would win? The dark lord or a gluttonous seabird?

With lightning speed, Sauron dashed forward and made a dive for a large banana. He seized it and exclaimed “Victory!” in triumph. This backfired horrendously. N Thrall began making a loud noise like a burglar alarm and it wasn’t long before Cortex - wearing pyjama top with the words ‘Wake me at your own risk’ printed on it, no less - entered the kitchen and got the situation completely backwards.

“Sauron!” He exclaimed. “Why would you threaten a defenceless porg with a tropical fruit!?” “I must eat something!” Sauron practically begged. “Well, you shan’t eat him,” The scientist replied. He scooped N Thrall up in his arms. The porg began chirping softly and nuzzling his master, who cradled him like a baby. “There there, little one, papa’s here.” Cortex cooed softly. Sauron stared at the two of them, not sure whether to find N Thrall’s evil genius impressive or flabbergasting.

[arwenkenobi48]

Maul: *looks like a cinnamon roll but can kill you*

Saváge: *looks like he can kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll*

Feral: *looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll*

Ventress: *looks like she can kill you and will kill you*

[arwenkenobi48]

Feral: *singing Christmas songs and decorating the tree* Hey, Saváge? Have you seen that cute floofy krampus?

Saváge: I’m just trying to figure out who ate all the gingerbread

Maul: Feral, how did your new plush get stuck in my wardrobe?

All three of them: Wait a minute…

Cute!Krampus: Bweh! *waddles into the room* *covered in gingerbread crumbs*

Feral: *chuckles* aww hello you little troublemaker *hugs him*

Cute!Krampus: *bleh-ing to the tune of Jingle Bells*

Saváge: I guess this is our Christmas tradition now, huh, brother? *puts a Santa hat on Maul’s head*

Maul: Bah, humbug!

[arwenkenobi48]

Is it just me or would Feral look really hot in a tweed suit?

[arwenkenobi48]

This beautiful sweet innocent boy lives in my head rent free (and always will)

[arwenkenobi48]

Ahsoka: Where the Force is Feral?

Lux: He’s supposed to go trick or treating with us in a few minutes

Feral: *dramatically bursts through the door wearing a red suit and a weird hat* ta-da!

Rex: What’s that supposed to be?

Feral: my costume! I’m Mephistopheles!

Mephistopheles: *from upstairs* Eeeek! Where’s my suit!? Feral, get back here you scoundrel!

Feral: come on, guys, let’s go! *they all take off running*