Prompt: "It would take me less than an hour to get at least several hundred signatures of people who think you’re sexy as hell." (”Overcoming Static” by msraven)
Clint had never imagined dating Phil Coulson would be like this. Yeah, Coulson had been one of his best friends for the better part of a decade, and yes, he'd been in love with him for the better part of that, but even when he'd allowed himself to daydream about the mythical day when he might date Phil Coulson...it had never looked like this.
Phil slid neatly into the Avengers' communal kitchen one Tuesday morning, already crisp and put together and looking nothing like the sleep-ruffled man who had reluctantly peeled himself out of Clint's arms two hours earlier.
"Good morning," he greeted everyone, a thin stack of folders in his hands. "After your last collective attempt at destroying the Port of New York, the powers that be have determined that a little positive PR is in order." Groans from the whole room met his pronouncement. Phil ignored them.
"Stark, Rogers, you get the late-night circuit. Romanov, Vogue called, they'd like a six-page spread on women who save the world. Banner, I have a list of primary, secondary, and post-secondary schools that would like a moment of your time. Thor, People wants to talk, especially about Jane. Barton--" Phil turned to him last of all, a small smile lurking around his mouth "--TradArchers' World would like to talk with you about improvised archery equipment."
"Yes!" Clint's hiss of joy was drowned out by a sea of "C'mon, seriously, Agent? Why does he get the cushy spots?" and "If they ask me about my hair, I will stab someone" and "I look forward to the days I may spend telling the tales of my Lady Jane" and "Whatever you need, sir" and "If they're sure they want me, I'd love to see them."
Phil, naturally, gave no reaction to any of their comments, save his typical bland smile. Clint had noticed that his smiles reached his eyes much more often since he'd started working the Avengers and even more often now that he and Clint were together.
"I have a packet of information for each of your detailing each scheduled appearance," Phil told them. Stark was the first one to break, clutching his coffee thermos tightly and muttering something about oxidation as he tore the packet from Phil's fingers with a scowl. Steve was professional enough to cover up his disappointment with his lot in life when he took his packet, and Thor and Bruce were positively jovial about their assignments.
Natasha waited in front of Phil for a moment before taking the packet he extended to her. Clint wasn't in the right spot to actually see the conversation happening, but he knew the pair were exchanging a silent communication, probably about the level of lethality Nat was authorized for if make-up tips were mentioned.
Once Nat vanished without a trace, the room was empty of nosy neighbors and Clint was free to give Phil the very enthusiastic good morning he'd missed earlier.
"Did you seriously get me an interview with TradArcher?" Clint's excitement bubbled over as soon as they separated.
The thin smile lines around Phil's eyes crinkled deeper at his partner's enthusiasm. "It didn't take much. I barely had to mention your name before they were tripping over themselves with interview dates. Speaking of which," Phil trailed off, holding the last packet of papers higher. "This is for you."
"Thanks, babe," Clint said. "But can I pick that up later? I was going to go shooting with Kris this morning."
As quickly as they had appeared, the crinkles on the edges of Phil's eyes disappeared. "That'll be fine," he said. Agent Coulson wouldn't do anything as obvious as hold the papers up as a shield, but Clint could see Phil's fingers tighten on the folder.
Before Clint could say anything, Phil dropped a kiss on the corner of his mouth before slipping away and heading for the door. "I'll have these ready for you whenever you'd like to stop by." Then he was gone.
Clint spent a solid two minutes staring at where Phil had disappeared, trying to figure out what he'd said wrong. Then he belatedly remembered the morning they’d first gotten together, after one of Tony's parties where Phil had drunk himself almost under the table in defense of Clint’s sobriety. Phil had confessed his deep-seated insecurities, particularly where his age or the younger sniper Kris Henderson were concerned. They'd been working on it, but those sorts of anxieties didn't disappear overnight.
Clint also remembered his own response to Phil’s confession and abruptly changed his schedule for the day. He had something much more important to do than shoot targets with Kris or pick up a PR packet.
--
"Oi!" Clint yelled from his spot half-standing on a table, his hands cupped around his mouth for volume.
The SHIELD cafeteria fell silent. He could see agents glance at each other across tables and eye the exits. It was never a good thing when a Level 7 agent needed your attention. Hill and Sitwell were eyeing him suspiciously from their corner of the room.
Beside him, still sitting in his seat, Kris groaned softly and stuck his face in his hands. "I can't believe you're actually--"
"Show of hands," Clint shouted. "How many of you will attest that Senior Agent Phillip Coulson is sexy as hell?"
For a long moment, no one moved. Hill had gone back to her sandwich and Sitwell's shoulders were shaking with laughter. Slowly, Junior Agent Velazquez raised her hand.
Clint grinned.
A moment later, two other women raised their hands, then a couple guys from ops. Within a minute, over two-thirds of the cafeteria had a hand in the air.
"I think I'm going to need your help with this, Kris."
--
Phil buried his face in his hands, but Clint could still see the tips of his ears, which were bright red.
Clint's smile was fading now into concern. "Babe?" he questioned. "You okay?" Clint tentatively placed a hand on Phil's arm. This wasn't how he'd thought the two of them would end the day.
He'd thought that Phil would like the half-dozen sheets of paper he'd brought with hundreds of signatures on them. He'd thought the two of them could curl up together in bed and laugh at some of the comments left by the more intrepid agents. He'd hoped the list would be meaningful to Phil.
He hadn't anticipated Phil's complete and abject mortification, though.
"I'm sorry, Phil," Clint said miserably, rubbing his thumb reassuringly along Phil's arm. In hindsight, it was obvious. Phil was the kind of person who very strongly valued his privacy. The pages now scattered on the bedspread around them served as glaring reminders of his oversight.
Phil took a deep breath and lowered his hands to his knees. His face was still flushed, but the tell-tale scarlet was leaving his ears. "I can't believe you did that," he said softly.
"I know," Clint said, dropping his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-- I'm sorry."
"No, no," Phil said quickly, grabbing one of Clint's hands and holding it tightly. "You misunderstand me, Clint. I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to do this. That wasn't my intent this morning. I just--" Phil's mouth twisted in self-deprecation.
Clint broke in before he could finish. "I wanted to." Phil's expression softened and Clint continued, the words bubbling out of him. "You're amazing, Phil. You're the most amazing person I know. You're smart and funny and kind and the best man I've ever met. You're also smoking hot," he added frankly. "And I work with a lot of very attractive people."
Clint had enough material to keep going all night, but Phil cut him off with a kiss before he could get that far.
"Thank you," Phil said quietly, the two of them still close together, breathing the same air.
"Anytime," Clint said breezily. "But Phil?" Phil hummed in acknowledgement. "Just because you've got this list of names now," Clint warned, a smile creeping into his voice. "Don't take that as permission. You're mine."
hi! are there any new insecure!phil fics also do you know when the thinks they're cheating but isn't masterlist is coming out? sorry if this has already been asked :)
the thinks they’re cheating, but isn’t masterlist is still being made, so send in any recommendations you have!
here’s some insecure!phil for you:
- Rose
“Don’t fuck with him.” (ao3) - Misha_with_wings
Summary: People have been hating on Phil and shoving him around more than ever before and Dan was done with people hurting his best friend.
Freckles and Constellations (ao3) - your_starless_eyes
Summary: Phil loves Dan with all his heart, but what if one day he’s not enough for the younger boy?
Only Us (ao3) - Lizzyboo
Summary: It hit him gradually, all the ways in which Dan had grown.He couldn’t pin point the moment it dawned on him. The moment when he looked towards the person next to him and realized, oh shit, he’s an adult. Phil is starting to think that maybe what he has to offer Dan just isn’t enough anymore.
Relapsing is Part of Recovery (ao3) - fulltimeintrnthomo
Summary (tw): Phil comes to Dan’s house late at night while Dan is revising. They talk.
Summary: Phil’s insecure about his age. He’s insecure about the crow’s feet by his eyes and the smile lines around his lips, but Dan loves them. Lives for them. They’re proof that Phil smiles much more than he frowns; he’s the softest ray of sunshine Dan’s probably ever seen.
Beautiful (ao3) - mollieblack
Summary: Dan's been gaining weight and he's feeling insecure. It's a hot day and he's determined to stay in his sweater as Phil tries to find creative ways for them to stay cool. When Dan finally admits to Phil why he won't take his sweater off, Phil tries to help him see how beautiful he is through Phil's eyes, and maybe, just maybe, their entire relationship will change.
Can’t You See? - danisnopeonfire
Summary: 2009!Phan Artist!Phil wants to paint Dan naked for a project in college and Dan would be self conscious and try to suck in his stomach and Phil would notice and try to ease him to relax and love his body.
Doubt (ao3) - analester
Summary: When people see Dan and Phil holding hands in the hallway, they’re confused to say the least. Especially since Phil has been known to be the type of guy who is only in relationships for sex.
I Still Think You're Beautiful (ao3) - Jaxxxx
Summary: Phil always knew Dan was insecure, but he never thought he'd take it this far.
Jottings - valdimire
Summary: Phil just shows enough of himself, just enough to make people believe that he is alright.
Leave Me Alone (Don't Leave Me Alone) (ao3) - starrywrite
Summary: When they’re alone, everything’s fine. When the camera’s on, everything’s fine. But the second they step out in public, it’s as if they aren’t even together and Phil doesn’t understand why Dan keeps on pushing him away.
Let Me Show You (ao3) - mollieblack
Summary: Phil has a secret. He doesn’t know how to kiss.
He kissed a few girls when he was younger, but they never seemed impressed and it made him feel insecure to the point of avoiding relationships because he was embarrassed.
When Dan learns of his friend’s insecurity what will he do to help?
Like A Shibe - adorkablephil
Summary: After TATINOF, Phil’s feeling insecure about how fans think of him compared to how they think of Dan. Why didn’t he ever get to be drawn like a French girl in the stage show? Dan’s always the sexy one. Dan tries to reassure him.
Mind The Gap - melancholymango
Summary: Set in early 2017, Dan grows insecure in the amount of time he and Phil spend together. Worried that the older man is missing out on life experiences because he’s too preoccupied with the signature D&P branding, Dan tries to fix it the only way he knows how.
Perfectly Imperfect - alivingflop
Summary: Dan is having a bad day and feels really insecure - phil tries to make him feel better.
Phil-Sized - keepcalmandnevermindpanic
Summary: Phil is insecure about being shorter than Dan and Dan is having none of it.
Press My Nose Up To The Glass Around Your Heart - kizziewrites
Summary: Dan is insecure and Phil doesn’t understand and then he does.
That's Why I love You (ao3) - Hellaphandom
Summary: Dan gains weight and feels insecure about his body. Phil comforts him. Fluff ensues.
Thank You (ao3) - galacticstars
Summary: Phil was very aware that Dan had barely spoken a word to him for a whole week. The answer he received when he confronted Dan about it was the one he least expected.
hey over two weeks back i asked if there were any insecure!phil fics since there's an insecure tag but little to no ones where phil is insecure. I got a reply from one of the admins (i think it was Tori) and they said to check the tag and if there were none they'd find me some. I did and then sent another ask asking if someone could please find me some. I'm not trying to complain or anything so i'm sorry if i come across as rude but if possible, please can you find me some?
Links Last Checked: August 10th, 2025
An Unconventional Present - cockwhoredan
Summary: Phil’s insecure about his age. He’s insecure about the crow’s feet by his eyes and the smile lines around his lips, but Dan loves them. Lives for them. They’re proof that Phil smiles much more than he frowns; he’s the softest ray of sunshine Dan’s probably ever seen.
Let Me Show You (ao3) - mollieblack
Phil has a secret. He doesn’t know how to kiss.
He kissed a few girls when he was younger, but they never seemed impressed and it made him feel insecure to the point of avoiding relationships because he was embarrassed.
When Dan learns of his friend’s insecurity what will he do to help?
Like A Shibe - adorkablephil
Summary: After TATINOF, Phil’s feeling insecure about how fans think of him compared to how they think of Dan. Why didn’t he ever get to be drawn like a French girl in the stage show? Dan’s always the sexy one. Dan tries to reassure him.
Phil-Sized - keepcalmandnevermindpanic
Summary: Phil is insecure about being shorter than Dan and Dan is having none of it.
The Way I See You - ineverhadmyinternetphase
Summary: Dan’s shocked when he realises that Phil’s self-conscious about the way he looks. Apparently Phil doesn’t know that he isn’t allowed to be sad when Dan’s around. So Dan takes it upon himself to fix the situation - by complimenting something about Phil’s appearance every day. Trouble is, Dan isn’t very good at hiding his teensy tiny crush on Phil.
