#insecure remus

[theprongspotter]

Sirius, hyping Remus up: You look so hot today, babe.

Remus: Hotter than yesterday?

Sirius: Hotter than yesterday.

-

c: @me-writes-prompts

[sliebman10]

Match

"Sometimes I don't know why you like me." Remus said quietly into the darkness.

"Then you're an idiot." Sirius said into his neck.

The curtains around Sirius's bed were drawn and the others were asleep.

It was so late.

"Why am I an idiot?" Remus asked, sleepily.

"I like you because you're you. Because we match." Sirius said.

"We do?" Remus said. "I know what I look like, Pads."

"It's not about how you look, Moony…you know I think you're hot. It's about…you understand me in a way the others don't." Sirius could feel Remus's hand in his hair. He leaned into the touch.

"We match." Remus murmured to himself as he fell asleep with Sirius in his arms.

@wolfstarmicrofic

[wolfstarhaven]

🌸FLUFFY FRIDAY #48🌸

Danger (sweetness) hazard ahead!

Just For Fun, by @engie-ivy (3,6k)

Remus and Edgar have been dating for a while, but Edgar isn't ready for anyone to find out about their relationship. According to him, it'll be much too suspicious if Remus were to suddenly stop the flirtatious banter that's been going on between him and Sirius since fifth year. As a matter of fact, Remus making some flirtatious comments towards Sirius every now and then is the perfect way to make sure no one will suspect a thing about Edgar! And it won't matter to Sirius. After all, the flirting is just a joke to him, right?

I’ve recced fics from engie-ivy’s “crush confessions” series before, and here is another one! And it’s just adorable: misunderstandings, pining, and Remus having absolutely no self-esteem. Lovely!

Is It Wicked Not To Care, by swings_and_roundabouts (3k)

Remus knows that Sirius can't possibly feel the same about him, but he can't help but hope. And hope is dangerous, it can make you see things that aren't there, but the war is coming and who knows how long they have left.

And besides. Just because you know something doesn't make it true

In which it’s summer and Remus is pining. He is also bloody oblivious, and firmly of the belief that no one could ever love him—especially not someone named Sirius Black. Pure fluff and sweetness (except the last sentence… fucking death blow… I’m choosing to ignore that thanks).

xx Elliot

[koifish86]

Lovers Quarrel

sirius had only ever seen his parents kiss and make up, never talk things through // #remuslupin #siriusblack #jamespotter #maraudersera #marauders

ok I was inspired by this tiktok and I needed to write it so gift. This is angsty, but we are left with healthy communication I hope you enjoy :)

Remus sat in his room, the sun slowly rising through the small windows. He didn’t often get to see the sunrise because he slept in till noon most days unless he had school, but lately he’s been waking up earlier. It wasn’t because he’d fixed his sleep schedule or because he finally started setting his alarm in the morning no, he had a different kind of alarm. He’d woken up that morning like he had a lot of mornings for the last year to screaming and yelling coming from downstairs. Maybe if he kept his nose in his book, he wouldn’t be able to hear it, maybe if he stayed in Narnia he wouldn’t have to go downstairs and find the static crackle that was left behind after his parents had argued till their throats were raw. Maybe if he stayed here, they’d stop yelling and talk instead of hurling words in the others general direction that weren’t used for anything accept to hurt each other. Maybe they’d stop slamming doors because they left fridge open, and they’d stop and talk and love each other again.

“LYALL FOR GODS SAKE ITS NOT THAT DIFFICULT” his mother’s voice carried through the house and Remus curled up tighter pulling the thick book closer to his face.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT HOPE IT’S JUST A FUCKING DOOR ITS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL” his Dads booming voice had more power behind it and it felt as if the house shock with his voice bouncing of the walls.

“OH! OF COURSE, THATS WHAT YOU THINK!”

“YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I THINK”

“OH, ITS ALWAYS WHAT YOU THINK! YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE RIGHT NO MATTER WHAT!”

“AND I WAS RIGHT WASNT I? HMM?” The topic of the argument had shifted into something it often did even if the two refused to talk about it out right.

Remus sat in his room clutching the book in front of him willing it to take him to vast seas and daring adventures in far off lands. Instead, he sat in his room with the world blurred as saline hit the fresh pages. They would make up; they always did, on the surface at least. Kiss and make up, pretend that the wounds created by harsh words thrown in every direction weren’t still bleeding and that the foundations that they had built hadn’t cracked and was falling apart. Out of sight, out of mind. If you ignored it, it doesn’t exist right? Except that cracks were still there, just no one was fixing them, no one was filling them in and as soon as the weapon of words were drawn once more, fresh cracks were made and closer came the inevitable. Even though they fought all the time and said everything with a viciousness you’d never expect they never actually said what was on their minds. They came close a few times just brushing the handle on the door to the problem, but they didn’t dare address it. No that would mean admitting a problem, admitting fault which would let in the overwhelming guilt and the realization would hit and the rose-colored glasses would be ripped of and reality would look as it does, a fucking mess.

***

The sun streamed in through the ornate windows of the library and landed in golden curls. Books had been pilled around the boy to create a makeshift barrier from the world, well from one specific boy. Sirius Black. Honestly Remus was so happy to be dating Sirius, he was an attentive boyfriend, Sirius cared about him truly. That didn’t stop his mind running rampant and destroy the trust he put in the other boy. It was unfair really; Sirius didn’t do anything wrong. Flirting with a few girls was harmless. Right? Remus had seen it a few times in the hallways, the grand hall or the common room and it meant nothing because Sirius always came straight back to him. It was nothing. Nothing at all. It didn’t bother Remus one bit. He trusted Sirius, he always would.

Then the voice in his head came and targeted every tiny doubt and every insecurity and weakness that he had. That voice exploited the cracks in his brain and kept pushing until the damn broke. He was so happy with his relationship with Sirius, he had finally gotten the guy he wanted, and he was able to show Sirius exactly what he meant to him and show him all the kindness in the world. He didn’t want that to end, to go away. So, he hid among the pages of a book behind a wall of more books.

“Moony? Hey Moony I found you!” well that didn’t last long “I’ve been looking everywhere” the joy in his voice refilled the hope in Remus’ chest. How could he want to be with you? The voice in his chest spoke up once more. Come on you’re a werewolf and he’s Sirius Black, who are you compared to him? Suddenly Remus’ chest felt tight again like he was wounded.

“What’s going on Moony? Why are you hidin’?” Sirius kept the same light teasing tone paired with a toothy smirk. He really didn’t want to fight; he knew what happened when couples fought. No, best to kept it inside it was his problem.

“’m not hidin’” Remus responded with a shrug of his shoulder, eyes glued to the page in front of him.

“Oh, come oooonnnnn I want attention” Sirius practically whined clambering around the mountain of books to sit on the seat next to his boyfriend

“Well, you’ve got quite a plethora of people to choose from, basically anyone you’ve flirted with in the last week” Eurgh why did he have to say that? Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut?

Sirius’ expression almost instantly change to confusion mixed with anger “What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means that you’ve got options” the annoyance that had been burning under the surface was rising and coming out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“And? I like the attention it doesn’t mean anything more than a harmless flirting” The rational part of Remus’ brain knew that was true, but in the moment, he couldn’t convince himself. Why would Sirius want you over anyone else at Hogwarts?

“Oh yeah? The attentions nice?” For the first time since the argument started Remus turned his whole body to look right his boyfriend. Staring into those mercuric eyes only seemed to make things worse for Remus, he was so perfect, and Remus wasn’t even on the same scale he was inadequate.

“Moony you know I only have eyes for you” the anger still rolled off of Sirius like steam and he let out a frustrated huff through his nose and his expression softened “let’s not fight yeah just kiss and make up?” That was more terrifying than Sirius blatantly yelling at him, they had to talk about this they had to! He couldn’t lose Sirius, like his parents had lost each other, he wouldn’t!

“No! No, no no please no!” Sirius face morphed into one that looked like his heart had been ripped out “Wait no!” Remus vision went blurry and those beautiful grey eyes that had always bought him comfort went out of view. God, when had he started crying?

“Moony?” Was he crying too?

“Just listen to me! We have just not talk about it. Otherwise, it just festers and we’re left to the rats”

“Moony you’re not making sense, just tell me what’s wrong” Remus gathered his knees to his chest and hung his head so he wouldn’t have to look at the dark-haired boy.

“You don’t love me” a punched-out exhale moved past Sirius lips and then a small sniff as if he was trying not to cry.

“Baby, please look at me” with a shaky breath Remus cracked open his eyes and hazel landed on grey. “Re I love you. With everything I am, I love every part of you. Even the parts you hate all I can see is something to love. When you agreed to be my boyfriend, I was so happy to get to show you everything I can offer you because Remus, darling, you are too amazing not to be appreciated in your entirety. I love that I get the opportunity to love you and I am so sorry that I ever let you doubt that.” It was almost as if Sirius did it in one breathe to avoid blubbering through the whole thing.

“It wasn’t you. Just- I don’t get it. You could have anyone, and you chose me?” the hesitation in his voice was despicable to even himself, but ever the stubborn bastard Remus forced himself through as more tears swam in Sirius eyes.

“I don’t know how to explain that you are the one for me. There is no one else I love you a-and I know I flirt a lot its sort of like I need to know that everyone likes me. I’m a Black, they are notoriously disliked” a wet humourless laugh erupted from deep in Sirius’ chest.

“You are nothing like your family!” it needed to be said because it was true “nothing” the last word was barely a whisper that Remus wasn’t even sure that Sirius heard.

“Re?” Sirius voice was tentative and cautious nothing like usual which hurt Remus heart knowing he put that unease there. “What can I do to prove that I love you?”

“I know you love me Padfoot” Remus replied with a small sniffle

“But you doubt it sometimes” it wasn’t a question just a statement and oh how the effects of a punctuation mark could have on someone.

“My brain … gets anxious and I overthink things sometimes. I- I’m usually fine with the flirting its just this week. I don’t know, I’m sorry.” He sniffed again, god why did he have to cry?

“Ok, how about when you start feeling this way you tell me, and we can talk, and I can shower you with the affection and love you deserve and run those damn self-deprecating voices away for you?” The tone was still sad but there was a level of teasing perfectly balanced with loving affection

“Thank you, but you have to tell me when you’re feeling like everyone hates you so I can do the same and know how to help you as well. Deal?” There was considerably less crying now, but they were still both red rimmed and snotty.

“Deal” and if the smitten look on Sirius face didn’t make Remus fall in love again despite the slightly disheveled look he’d be lying. He then moved forward a few inches to place a soft kiss on his boyfriends lips.

Remus knew he wasn’t perfect, but neither was Sirius Black and that’s why he loved him. The voice would return to poke at the cracks, but now he had his own knight in shining armour to drive them away and Remus could do the same for Sirius.

[wh0reforthemarauders]

Remus: *yawning because he hasn’t slept for 4 days*

Remus: How long do you think I’d survive in a zombie apocalypse?

Sirius: I think you’d be the zombie.

Remus: Is it because I’m already a monster?

Sirius: NO-

[exhaustedfander]

First Comes Love: Chapter 12

Oh boy, we’re getting into the final stretch of this story! Only one more chapter after this! I’d love to hear what you think.

a03 link

1  / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / ?

Word Count: 2,496

“What if he doesn’t show up?”

“Remus, you and I both know that’s preposterous. You two proposed to each other on the same day, for crying out loud! He’s crazy about him and you’re crazy about him. Or maybe just crazy, in general, I can never tell.” 

Remus delivered a well-deserved shove, earning an overdramatic gasp.

“Okay, but what if – what if he’s woken up and decided he doesn’t want to go through with it? What if clarity struck him that he doesn’t want this? Jesus, Roman, what if he stands me up at the alter?!”

“Easy, there, brother dear. You’re sounding a lot like Panic! At the Everywhere,” he said, placing a hand on the small of his brother’s back. Remus stared at his reflection in the mirror, cringing at the unsteadiness of his stance.

“I can’t tell if comparing me to your boyfriend is an insult or a compliment.”

“I’m saying, there’s nothing to be worried about,” Roman said as soothingly as he could manage. “You and Logan are simply meant to be,” – he sang that bit, eliciting a groan -, “To so much as think that our resident nerd would stand you up at the alter is prosperous and you know it.”

“But what if –.”

“No more ‘what ifs’, thank you very much,” Roman interrupted, “Remus, Logan is deeply, and madly in love with you. You could walk out there wearing nothing but a filthy potato sack and he’d still think you were the most beautiful thing to walk the Earth. Luckily, for a trash man, you clean up pretty nice.”

Remus stared intently at his reflection. The suit he wore was a dark forest green, the shirt beneath an only slightly more unsettling lime, the black and green tie (good lord, it was a lot of green, not that Roman was surprised) a nice striped pattern. Remus’s usually unruly hair was neatly combed, and he looked quite a bit more presentable than usual.

“You think so?” Roman couldn’t help but be stricken with a pang of surprise. Normally, Remus didn’t give two shits what anyone, save for Logan, thought about him, or his appearance for that matter. But now, in a moment of unjustified, but understandable, panic, he was genuinely asking.

“Of course I do,” Roman said, taking his hand off of his twin’s back, “You look wonderful, Remus. And – we’re twins, so I’d be a little concerned if you looked that much worse than me.”

“Everyone knows I’m the better looking one,” Remus said, a hint of a smile appearing on his face. Roman barked out a laugh.

“We’re identical!”

“And yet my point still stands.” Roman huffed out a breath.

“I’m supposed to be the cocky one, I’m supposed to be the romantic one, stop stealing my bits!”

“And yet you’re still not engaged. Before we know it, your dear emo nightmare will have been swept up by another, far better man.” The smile that stretched across Roman’s face is sure to spell trouble. “Okay, why are you looking at me like that? Did you guys get engaged and not tell me? Because if so, fuck you.” Roman stuck a hand in his pocket, fishing out a ring box.

“Is that so?” Roman asked, popping the box open and showing his brother the amethyst ring inside.

“Son of a bitch, you’ve finally decided to stop being such a little pussy, huh?” This time Remus was the one who received the shove.

“Keep talking like that and I’ll propose to him in the middle of your wedding.” Remus narrowed his eyes.

“I would kill you where you stood.”

“You’re all talk, brother dear.”

“Oh yeah?” Remus asked, uncapping the green nail polish he’d applied to his finger and waving the brush near Roman. “Keep talking like that and the suit gets it!” Roman pressed a hand to his chest, glaring at his twin.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Remus glared right back.

“Try me, bitch.” Roman scoffed, holding his hands in the air, backing away from Remus who was still dangerously wielding the polish.

“Okay, okay, I surrender!” Roman said, hands guarding the front of his ruby red suit, “I’m not actually going to propose to Virgil at your wedding, for God’s sake.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“You wound me!” Roman squawked before he caught sight of the look in his twin’s eyes. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. This is one of the best days of your life! You get to promise your undying love for one of my best friends, which can admittedly still be kind of weird to think about, but it’s great! You guys are great. A power-couple, as far as I’m concerned.” Remus’s lips curled into a faint grin.

“Yeah… we are pretty great, huh? I didn’t… I never thought I was the kind of person to get married. I was sure it was the bachelor’s life for me, y’ know? I figured I was always gonna end up alone.” Roman placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder, compassion glimmering in his eyes.

“But you haven’t,” Roman reminded, “You aren’t alone anymore, Remus. You have Logan, and me, and our friends. You’ll never have to be alone again. You –,” Roman paused his speech, seeing tears beginning to haze Remus’s vision, “Oh no you don’t! I just did your makeup, and I refuse to have it ruined before the ceremony has started. Don’t you dare get all soft on me.” Remus sniffed.

“I – I can’t help it. Before, I was all angsty thinking I was some kind of fucking lone-wolf or something, and then I met Logan. And – and you were back in my life, and I had friends, and – everything’s so different, Ro. It’s a g-good different, but still… still weird, sometimes.”

“And you can cry about it later!” Roman insisted, earning a watery chuckle from Remus. “Stop it or you’ll get me starting too, and you’ll be late for your own damn wedding.”

Remus and Logan had only been engaged for five months, yet the wait had been grueling. Honestly, when they woke up the morning after their engagement, there was a moment where they, briefly, considered a Courthouse Wedding.

“We could be married tomorrow,” Remus had said, “Wouldn’t that be fucking awesome?”

“It would be nice to call you my husband as soon as possible,” Logan had said, despising the fact that he was actually considering it.

“Oooh! We could get married in Vegas! Drive down, get hitched, and get rich!” Logan had rolled his eyes, though the gesture was full of nothing but fondness.

“That’s a terrible idea and you know it. Also, you're a terrible gambler."

“C’mon, Dragonfly, live a little!”

“We’re not getting married in Los Vegas.”

“Ugh, fiiiiine. But you’re no fun!” Logan had chuckled at that, pressing a kiss to Remus’s lips.

“So I’ve been told.”

In the end, the couple decided that a proper wedding was what they wanted, even if it meant they’d have to wait a little bit longer to officially call themselves husbands. They wanted their friends to be a part of the celebration, and while they were by no means looking for opulence, a fairly nice venue was on their wish-list.

The one they’d found was outdoor, near a gorgeous lake with sprawling greenery and they couldn’t be happier with it. In all honesty, Remus would be content with marrying Logan in a rat-infested dumpster so long as he promised to be his, but that wouldn’t exactly be ideal.

But now, here he was, about to tie the knot in a beautiful location, about to promise forever to the love of his life. Remus figured he was allowed to freak out, at least a little bit.

“It’s just about time to go,” Roman said after Remus had a few more minutes to collect himself, “Are you ready?” Remus took a steadying breath, giving his reflection a final once-over before nodding, his head bouncing up and down a touch too erratically.

“Yeah… yeah, okay, I’m ready.”

If someone had told Remus a few years ago that his brother would walk him down this aisle at his wedding, he would’ve called them crazy. But now, stepping out into the picturesque spring day, his arm looped with Roman’s, he couldn’t be any more grateful.

The music swelled as the twins walked down the aisle. Remus’s eyes grazed over the guests, his wonderful friends looking back at him with so much love. And then, his eyes met Logan’s, and his heart stopped.

Logan wore a Navy-blue suite, his tie a pink and aqua floral pattern. Logan was often so insistent on the fact that his wardrobe, especially as a teacher, was to make him look as professional as possible (aside from the Unicorn onesie, but that was rarely spoken about), so he usually forwent wearing fun patterns. Seeing him now, though, Remus would have to make a point to mention how amazing he looked in it. How amazing he looked in general.

“Hey,” Remus said quietly, once the chatter of the guests had died down and the minister began speaking. Logan gave him a look that absolutely melted his heart into a gooey, sticky mess (Remus wondered what it would look like if a human heart really did melt. It would be fantastically gorey!) and muttered his own greeting. It took absolutely every ounce of Remus’s self-control not to grab Logan by the lapels and kiss him with every intense, sappy emotion that roared inside of him.

“We are gathered here today to witness the union of Remus Knightly and Logan Sanders,” the minister announced, but immediately, Remus felt like his ears were plugged up with cotton. All he could focus on was Logan, stunning, incredibly, way too hot for his own good, Logan. The sun shone down on them, bathing his fiancé in a light he dared to call heavenly as if all that touched Logan was divine. Remus certainly thought so. So much as looking at him was prompting tears, but it seemed Logan wasn’t in much better shape, his eyes becoming misty behind his glasses.

Remus was only able to snap out of once Logan began to deliver his vows, desperately wanting once again to kiss him breathless.

“Remus, I’ve told you innumerable times how much I struggle to comprehend my emotions,” Logan began, his voice already beginning to waver, “for so long, I considered feelings the bane of my existence. It didn’t make any sense to me, and it all felt so complicated and strange. Today, not much of that has changed. I still struggle greatly with comprehending my emotions. But that doesn’t distract from the fact that I am madly, frantically in love with you.

“Before you, I never imagined what it would be like to wake up beside someone and feel… such unabashed joy. You make me laugh, utilizing a sense of humor I never thought I would indulge in. You make me feel so good about myself, just by being yourself,” Logan said, tears beginning to slip down his cheeks, though Remus wasn’t too far behind him, “You’ve taught me so much, my love, and you’ll never know the extent of how much you mean to me.

“I cannot imagine anything better than calling you, my husband. Domesticity is not something I considered for myself but now – now I crave it. I want to wake up beside you every day of my life. I want to watch documentaries together and cuddle on the couch, I want you to read me your books in every voilent detail, I want to kiss you for as long as I’m able. I love you, Remus Demetri Nightly, with every bit of my being, and to be yours is something I know is one of the best things to happen to me.”

“F-fuck, Dragonfly, how the hell am I gonna get through this after that?” Remus asked through a watery laugh. Thirty minutes ago, Remus was terrified of the eyes that would be on him, and the prospect of Logan deciding he didn’t want this after all but standing before him, such fears dissipated.

“You’re perfect,” Remus said, taking one of Logan’s hands in his own, “You’re absolutely perfect, and I’m never going to stop saying it. You’re the smartest, most beautiful, incredible person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, and sometimes, I still can’t believe you fell for me. I hadn’t been happy for so long before I knew that, and y-you brought me so much joy, the moment you were in my life.

You’ve brought me love, a feeling I d-didn’t know I was capable of truly feeling. You brought my brother back to me,” Roman was sobbing somewhere in the crowd, his fingers laced tightly with Virgil’s, “You’ve brought light into my life. I didn’t know if I’d ever be hopeful again b-but I am! I’m hopeful for the life we’ll lead, f-for the things we’ll do. I’m hopeful for anything, as long as I’m with you. I love you Logan Sanders, and I’ll tell you every chance I get for as long as I can. I’ll do everything I can to give you the world, because you deserve it, e-every bit of it.”

Tears rolled down both of their faces, their smiles unbreakable. There was an exchange of rings, slipped onto their fingers, and glimmering in the sunlight.

“Do you, Logan Sanders, take Remus Sanders to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” Logan nodded; his teary eyes trained on Remus.

“I do.”

“Do you, Remus Knightly, take –.”

“Yes, of course, I fucking do!” Remus interrupted, earning a laugh from several of the guests. The officiant sighed, rolling with it.

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you Husband and Husband. You may kiss the groom.”

Remus surged forward, his hands gripping Logan’s tie and pulling him into a deep kiss, the cheering of the guests ringing in their ears.

Later, there would be tearful speeches and endless hugs. Roman would give a sappily embarrassing best man's speech (And not propose to his boyfriend at Remus’s wedding, thank god. He’d wait another day to do that) that made Remus’s fondness and annoyance of his brother swell in tandem. Later, Remus would shove cake with green and blue icing in Logan’s face, only to earn the same fate. Later, they’d share their first dance under the moonlight, hoping for a lifetime of shotty footwork and stifled laughter. Impressively, Remus only stepped on Logan’s feet twice. Later, they’d do so much more, accomplish all that they wanted.

Now, though, they embraced, holding each other as though they’d disappear the moment they let go.

“I love you, Logan Knightly-Sanders,” Remus whispered in his ear, kissing him ardently.

“And I love you, Remus Knightly-Sanders,” Logan responded, intent on never stopping kissing if he could help it.

=+=

Taglist:

@nadiestar 

@unoriginalgayboyalex 

@maryann-draws

Please, let me know if you’d like to added to my general taglist! I’d be happy to add folks! 

[princesse-de-ravenclaw]

Remus John Lupin not wanting you to meet his friends at first because he thinks you will like them better... but he doesn't say anything because he knows his insecurities are just getting to him again.

INSECURE REMUS, BACK TO BREAK MY HEART. WHY CAN’T MY PERFECT LIL BEAN ACCEPT THAT HE IS SO LOVED????

no really though, he’d be so nervous the whole time he was introducing you, especially because they other guys are naturally so flirty, but he’d be 100% reassured when you grabbed his hand, or pecked his cheek, or any little thing to show him that even though you were having a conversation with his friends, he was still the one on your mind :)