Clint Coulson (Phlint) Fic Rec: 'Like sick flowers need the sun'
Sometimes Clint is like a pain-in-the-ass kid: he'll annoy and frustrate and piss off everyone until they notice him, and it never bothers him when they get angry. To him, any attention—even the negative kind—is good attention. This poses a problem when they all finally learn to just ignore him. This is so angsty... Clint needs a hug! References to depression, insecurity, past abuse and neglect.
http://hoosierbitch.dreamwidth.org/92783.html
Wordcount: 8000 Rating: Teen +
Extract:
He’s not used to fighting on a team. Not for more than a mission or two; his specialty is best suited for use on an as-needed basis. He knows that on this team, he has to earn his place, and that most days, he barely pulls his own weight.
Steve’s a good team leader. Clint’s crossing his fingers that Steve’s not quite good enough to realize that Clint’s the biggest weak spot on the team.
“I could have made those shots,” Clint says, when they return from a fight where Clint racked up the fewest kills and fewest saves of everyone on the team. He settles back in his chair and glares at Steve, who’s rubbing at his forehead like he’s getting a headache. Clint knows he can’t, though; he knows that Steve’s body is practically infallible. “If you’d let me stay in my perch, I could have made those shots,” he says, glaring at Steve. “The angle wasn’t that bad. I made a shot like that before, in Hong Kong—we’ve got the video of it somewhere.”
“That’s not relevant to the debrief,” Steve says, trying to cut Clint off.
“And later, when you gave me the order to back up Tony, I would have been more useful if I’d backed up the Hulk. See, I’ve got these new arrows, and since the Hulk pretty much only hits what’s right around him, I could have—”
“I do not care,” Steve says carefully, staring at the screen in front of him which is playing every available feed of the fight that SHIELD could find. Right now they’re all focused on Clint’s activities. “I can see what you did. And what you did not do. If I have any questions, I will ask you.” But Steve’s not going to ask Clint about what new arrows R&D had cooked up for him, he’s not going to ask Clint if he can do better—which Clint can. He has to. Clint spends the rest of the debrief grumbling.
He won’t let Steve forget about him. He won’t go down without a fight.
Steve doesn’t say anything to Clint when he leaves the conference room, which is the equivalent of a fuck you from anyone else.