#insidesout

[doom-spook]

Day 28?! Mhm >:) Spooktober insides out and sharktober pumpkin shark.

[iaskedforthisdidnti-blog]

So I'm going through a lot today.

I'm a grateful drug addict. Grateful that all of you still follow my feed. Grateful that I'm still on this planet... grateful that I have a little over a month away from the taste of crystal meth in my system. I love living y'all, anyone who has spent 20 minutes with me, even when I was in active addiction knows that about me. And I'm sorry if my addicted ass wasted any of your time my peeps... and most of all I'm sorry for wasting so much of my own time. It's time to live....

That's what I posted a little while ago on Facebook and needless to say I'm overwhelmed by the response I've received. Friends near and afar continue to back me, and show me love that I feel I dont even deserve; am unworthy of. When I go through the thought process I end up with a feeling of necessary self-sabotage. I know that this is not the next right move and I am just continue to attempt my best to be grateful for what I am currently receiving from the world. It's a very tedious process, this recovery thing is. To keep stepping in the right direction even though going the right direction still has these forks in the road that can leave me down a path of anguish and defeat. It's not always the easiest thing to discern which path to choose when I'm tired and encountering them head-on. For this reason just for today I give up my will and my control to God as I know him my higher power and ask for guidance. I feel the need to slow down my own decision making process and embrace the moments that I have on the Earth for what they are right now. Too much excitement has gotten to me and I really don't want to take the wrong Next Step.

[michellegeiss]

insides out | north ave