@insorto from here
How long has it been? Far too long he thinks. Looking at Matt now he sees he isn’t the only one that’s changed; ghosts hang heavy on them--a haunted look in their eyes. Sam isn’t much older than the the young man in front of him, but he aches for him. Matt and Takashi were supposed to be geniuses--men who went above and beyond the call of duty to create a better future for mankind. He’s the black sheep, the man that’s supposed to bear the brunt of his sins--but those two? They didn’t deserve even a fraction of everything they’d been through. He’d lived on the streets too long--always been rough around the edges--enough that he’d been happy to take the fall for so many people. Yet, this time, he’d just been another victim in the sick game the universe was playing.
It was rare, but he pulled Matt into a hug. It was one armed and awkward, but he felt alright with this much. Perhaps he’d been made for this sort of life--the kind of person that didn’t get upset by killing. The thought of Matt and Takashi going through it though--it ate at him. He wished he could drown the guilt destroying him from the inside out in some sort of drug--but nothing he’d been addicted too existed in space. The withdrawals had been killer and he still didn’t feel himself without them--but there wasn’t much he could do about it. No wonder his parents hated him; he’d never been able to properly deal with his emotions and it had manifested in such a negative way--maybe he was self destructive.
Instead of tackling the mess inside he just ruffles matts hair, ignoring how the soft feeling of the strands sends a swarm of butterflies into his stomach. There’s no time to think about repressed feelings right now. “Oh you know, just living up to my name as family disappointment. Killing aliens, getting new and cooler scars.” He gives Matt a small smile instead of a smirk...a very rare expression. “What about you? I see you grew your hair out--it looks nice.” No he wasn’t flushed.
