Nov 3, 2015
@insxdeout & @fovghtabear imma need ya’ll to click this
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@insxdeout & @fovghtabear imma need ya’ll to click this
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Nash and Atlas pretend to be in a relationship for the purpose of an undercover mission.
MAPS & TENSION I'M TOO LAZY TO GET ON THAT BLOG RN
General:
Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - they consistently fall apart because they are literally a hot mess but probably forever let’s be real
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - IT TOOK A LONG TIME FOR NASH TO GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER AND REALIZE WHAT THE FUCK HE FELT but somewhere around three / five months ??? some time after atlas moved back in. relatively mutual timing? sorta?
How was their first kiss? - rushed and heated right before they had rushed and heated sex for the first time very abruptly?
Wedding:
Who proposed? - NASH did. AMAZING.
Who is the best man/men? - nash is probably going to ask farid, if he ever gets the chance to and atlas will probably ask liam ??? maybe dylan???
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - i’m going to assume anna and avery and jocelyn
Who did the most planning? - mary. ( they haven’t been planning yet because of the accident really )
Who stressed the most? - nash.
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. ( probably outside in the backyard )
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - jack.
Sex:
Who is on top? - nash. ninety nine percent of the time.
Who is the one to instigate things? - atlas. every time. usually by accident.
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - like ???? 4 / 10
How long do they normally last? - depends on the day to be honest
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - relatively. nash is more concerned with getting atlas off but it’s pretty mutual.
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - atlas has a biological daughter already.
How many children will they adopt? - nash is planning to adopt atlas’ biological daughter already.
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - erin is too old for diapers.
Who is the stricter parent? - atlas. a hundred percent. nash is like “hell yeah let’s get some tacos” and atlas is like “get this leaf”
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - nash prevents potential death situations but atlas is pretty dangerous and thus i imagine erin will be drawn to dangerous
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - atlas.
Who is the more loved parent? - (:
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? atlas.
Who cried the most at graduation? - nash.
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - nash.
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? - atlas, probably. nash can cook well but usually opts for playing sue chief.
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - atlas.
Who does the grocery shopping? - atlas. nash refuses to hold eggs.
How often do they bake desserts? - only as often as atlas wants to.
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - nash likes meat more. atlas likes salad more. nash will eat salad for atlas. the salad is a metaphor for healthy things tbh though because i’m pretty sure atlas would eat a steak and be damn pleased ‘bout it.
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - nash.
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - atlas.
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - atlas.
Chores:
Who cleans the room? - it stays fairly clean ; they’re both reasonable about keeping tidy. nash a little more so, i think.
Who is really against chores? - nash does not like the feather duster he doesn’t trust it.
Who cleans up after the pets? - nash takes care of bear. atlas takes care of ghost.
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - ghost.
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - bear. and nash.
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - nash.
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - nash.
Who takes the dog out for a walk? - atlas.
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - christmas.
What are their goals for the relationship? - to live long, happy lives together with as little tragedy as possible. travel the world.
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - neither or them, honestly. maybe nash.
Who plays the most pranks? - bear.
“bro - dude - man - atlas - bro -” her nose scrunches up, brows furrowing together, “- nah.”
based off of: “thought you were a dead body dumped in a park but you’re just a sleepwalker”
the new pack of l&bs pauses halfheartedly, midway to the palm he had been smacking them against. he tells himself that there is no way in his mother’s heaven or hell that he is seeing what he’s seeing ; tells himself it is exactly what it looks like because of course it is. these streets are no stranger to this sort of thing. especially at this hour. suddenly, he harbors resentment for his addiction. he just couldn’t let it wait until morning ; had to have a pack of smokes now. that’s bloody brilliant, that is. fucking walk in the park at ten to three am just for fuck’s sake. now the police are going to be up his ass for the next week asking questions, pointing fingers. nash presses his index and thumb to either side of his nose and presses down hard against the bridge. bloody awesome. slow footfalls draw him closer to the hump on the bench, breath billowing out in small puffs of white above his scarf. he can’t make out their face ; it takes him a few moments of hesitation to realize they’re facing the other direction, hand skimming the ground in the breeze. nash debates whether or not he should poke the figure with a stick before he decides to raise his foot and prod gently at one of the kneecaps instead. should have stayed home.
♚
♚ : for a confessing voicemail
hello - you have reached atlas callaway. i probably don’t have service right now so i’ll give you a call back if i don’t fall off the top of whatever i’m climbing. beep.
one new message: we need to talk about a few things. [ long silence ] and i miss you. [ line disconnects ]
☎
☎: for a voicemail not meant for you
he clearly couldn’t hear the sound of atlas’ inbox greeting over the gunshots in the background.
one new voice message: i told you i’d be fine, see? just a nightly stroll. [ shouting in the distance ; muffled panting ; ruffling of underbrush ] it sounds worse than it is. don’t worry. everything is fine. just stay put. do you hear me? stay inside the fucking house, liam. make sure he doesn’t leave, okay? [ low growling ; gunfire approaching ] i’ll go fucking mad if anything happens to yo- [ line disconnects ]