#integrating shadow

[ascendantevolution]

Champion of Light Expansion: Addressing Dark Sentiments

Those with any level of awareness can feel that something is different. They can sense that a major shift is underway in the world. 

When we look around us, we see expansion everywhere. New ideas are challenging old mindsets. New ways of being challenge traditional paradigms. The more expansive thinking becomes, the more polarized thinking is highlighted. Those beholden to the polar ends of any system are reacting with increasing intensity. There appears to be an increasing desperation as the change presses us into confusion, which then feeds conflict, both internal and external. 

There are many who appear to be unaware of any shift, taking part in the drama. There are also those who actively participate, being fed by it. Then there are those who feel guided by something deep inside to retreat as a way of not participating because what they see becomes painful for them. Something inside of them wants to do something about it, but they are afraid or overtaken by overwhelm. Many of these people turn their anxiety inward, and we see evidence of that in growing numbers of people cutting themselves, starving themselves, suffering addictions of all kinds, and committing suicide.

Our Higher Selves, as extensions of Spirit itself, are asking us to make different choices. We are being charged to embrace our authority as Divine Beings and Stewards of Light, to sacrifice our need for personal comforts, to sacrifice relationships if need be, to help the purification of our human collective before it destroys itself and the Earth.

Unconditional love is the answer. Be a champion of unconditional love. Do not be afraid to speak out against acts of fear and hate. In everyday conversations, if someone says something off color or fear-mongering, even in a joking manner, rebut with a reminder that there is a more loving, alternate perspective. Deliver the message with love. You won't be the popular one at the table, but if enough of us do this day to day, eventually we will be the majority. I guarantee there are others at the table who feel the same way but are afraid to say it. In speaking, we empower them to speak as well. One incident at a time. Imagine the power of our influence when we choose to become a Champion of Light Expansion.

Originally written August 1, 2021.

Ⓒ 2021 S’Tara Merit, All Rights Reserved.

[ascendantevolution]

Remembering Who I Am: Awakening, Integration, Transmutation

Three years ago, I had a huge awakening, one that made me feel like I had finally reached the endpoint of my spiritual attainment. As I explored the new awareness, my guides gave me a word: integration. After years of digging in the dirt of my shadow, I found myself going through a process of pulling pieces of me I had so long rejected back to my center, recognizing each as an essential piece of my being.

That integration process led me out of the dark cave I had been in for years, up into the light of understanding. I finally got it: It had all been a part of my soul’s plan for learning. All of it - my mistakes, my loss, my suffering - had been essential to my growing awareness. I finally saw it all for what it truly is: a gift. Gratitude set in.

Integrated, I felt more whole than I had felt my whole life. I realized that I had been deep in the cave for years, living and doing, doing the hard work of facing my demons, and my energy had been heavy, too grounded, too serious for far too long, even listless at times. The integration process allowed me to buoy up, to feel lighter. I actually smiled more.

I want to pause and acknowledge this: I am not alone in going through a major shift during the pandemic. Energetically, it has had the impact of bringing our shadows to the surface. If you have experienced a major shift during the pandemic, I would love to hear about it - please leave a comment.

So, several months ago, I woke up yet again. I now understand that awakenings are never done, just as our learning is never done. This particular awakening was literally overnight. I woke up feeling different and craving nourishment for a newly awakened hunger. The word that was given to me for it by my spirit guides was graduation. I was also given a phrase: remember who you are.

I indeed felt like I had graduated, but into what I had no idea. I felt lighter, literally. My energy was buzzing. My psychic antennae was vibing more than usual. There was also an accompanying feeling that, just as happens after graduation, I needed to get a job. Sounds funny, but it’s true. I was given orders: Get to work. That’s where the “remember who you are” part comes in.

All of my transformation has been as a result of spiritual guidance. I am one who sees the spiritual in every aspect of my life. What do I mean by spiritual? Anything related to spirit. My spirit. SOURCE - THE Spirit that animates all life. The UNIVERSE.

I am now mid-life. Kids are grown and living their lives. I share this as reference for what I am about to say. I have been a seeker my whole life, and, as such, I have been a voracious reader of any expression of humanity that gets me closer to understanding Source.

Some choose one path - one god, one religion, etc. While it eventually leads to Source, in some ways it is the harder road. It is a more stable road, so it may appear easier. However, spiritually, I found it limiting, which meant it would've been a longer process for me.

I have learned that, whatever our “God,” we are never meant to stop growing in awareness. We are meant to be called to teachers, whether people, books, movies, music, or organizations, and we are meant to expand. Because only so much expansion can happen in one place, eventually we must move on to the next teacher or touch point of learning.

So much of my learning and expansion has been in service to understanding why I am built the way I am - to fulfill my purpose - to serve the Whole. I have seen spirits and other beings my whole life. I see, hear, and feel things that end up being helpful, if I heed them. I feel the energy of those I am around. For this, people like me have been branded crazy, or even burned at the stake. And yet my experiences are real - I cannot forsake them, although I tried. For years, I resisted myself - my abilities - out of fear of being discovered and rejected.

Remember who you are. I made the decision to fully embrace what has made me tremble years past: the deep knowing that I have been - that at my core I am - witch, medicine woman, priestess, shaman. With a deep breath and sobering courage, I have decided to finally own myself completely. Which means loving myself completely.

Remember who you are. My stepping into myself fully means that I need not to just have knowledge of mystical practices, but I have to re-discover those practices as essential pieces of myself, rejected because of society’s labels and persecutions.

I had to start practicing mystical arts again. I knew that I had to get my hands on the books I had packed up twenty years ago, the same books that had simultaneously validated my life experiences while also teaching and inspiriting me - before I chickened out and abandoned them. As we are all expressions - extensions - of Source, every book I was drawn to was an extension communicating a particular experience of life, reality, and connection to the ALL and Source itself. I located my box of books in storage, and as I opened the box and saw the titles and covers, pieces of me began to quicken.

I was amazed by the range of topics: world religions, mythology, philosophy, wicca, pagan witchcraft, shamanism, symbology, ancient mysteries, art, architecture, sacred geometry, energy work. I smiled at the realization that I am an equal-opportunity spiritualist.

I believe in GOD - SPIRIT, in all its forms and names. My primary mission in life is to move toward Spirit and to have Spirit work through me. Anything that will aid me in my mission is welcome. All of the traditions I have studied offer different roads, tools, perspectives, and stories that have been my guides and spiritual medicine. From organized world religions, to world mythologies, to wide-ranging pagan systems, to physics, I am a willing and open student. I am grateful for all of my learning and for every people and tradition that has been a positive influence.

Notice there is no mention of Satanism or black magic. I work in systems of light. Only the Highest Christed Light is welcome to work through me. I am all things sacred and esoteric. I am a true mystic.

Originally written in the Fall of 2021.

[ascendantevolution]

Remembering Who I Am: Awakening, Integration, Transmutation (Copy)

Three years ago, I had a huge awakening, one that made me feel like I had finally reached the endpoint of my spiritual attainment. As I explored the new awareness, my guides gave me a word: integration. After years of digging in the dirt of my shadow, I found myself going through a process of pulling pieces of me I had so long rejected back to my center, recognizing each as an essential piece of my being.

That integration process led me out of the dark cave I had been in for years, up into the light of understanding. I finally got it: It had all been a part of my soul’s plan for learning. All of it - my mistakes, my loss, my suffering - had been essential to my growing awareness. I finally saw it all for what it truly is: a gift. Gratitude set in.

Integrated, I felt more whole than I had felt my whole life. I realized that I had been deep in the cave for years, living and doing, doing the hard work of facing my demons, and my energy had been heavy, too grounded, too serious for far too long, even listless at times. The integration process allowed me to buoy up, to feel lighter. I actually smiled more.

I want to pause and acknowledge this: I am not alone in going through a major shift during the pandemic. Energetically, it has had the impact of bringing our shadows to the surface. If you have experienced a major shift during the pandemic, I would love to hear about it - please leave a comment.

So, several months ago, I woke up yet again. I now understand that awakenings are never done, just as our learning is never done. This particular awakening was literally overnight. I woke up feeling different and craving nourishment for a newly awakened hunger. The word that was given to me for it by my spirit guides was graduation. I was also given a phrase: remember who you are.

I indeed felt like I had graduated, but into what I had no idea. I felt lighter, literally. My energy was buzzing. My psychic antennae was vibing more than usual. There was also an accompanying feeling that, just as happens after graduation, I needed to get a job. Sounds funny, but it’s true. I was given orders: Get to work. That’s where the “remember who you are” part comes in.

All of my transformation has been as a result of spiritual guidance. I am one who sees the spiritual in every aspect of my life. What do I mean by spiritual? Anything related to spirit. My spirit. SOURCE - THE Spirit that animates all life. The UNIVERSE.

I am now mid-life. Kids are grown and living their lives. I share this as reference for what I am about to say. I have been a seeker my whole life, and, as such, I have been a voracious reader of any expression of humanity that gets me closer to understanding Source.

Some choose one path - one god, one religion, etc. While it eventually leads to Source, in some ways it is the harder road. It is a more stable road, so it may appear easier. However, spiritually, I found it limiting, which meant it would've been a longer process for me.

I have learned that, whatever our “God,” we are never meant to stop growing in awareness. We are meant to be called to teachers, whether people, books, movies, music, or organizations, and we are meant to expand. Because only so much expansion can happen in one place, eventually we must move on to the next teacher or touch point of learning.

So much of my learning and expansion has been in service to understanding why I am built the way I am - to fulfill my purpose - to serve the Whole. I have seen spirits and other beings my whole life. I see, hear, and feel things that end up being helpful, if I heed them. I feel the energy of those I am around. For this, people like me have been branded crazy, or even burned at the stake. And yet my experiences are real - I cannot forsake them, although I tried. For years, I resisted myself - my abilities - out of fear of being discovered and rejected.

Remember who you are. I made the decision to fully embrace what has made me tremble years past: the deep knowing that I have been - that at my core I am - witch, medicine woman, priestess, shaman. With a deep breath and sobering courage, I have decided to finally own myself completely. Which means loving myself completely.

Remember who you are. My stepping into myself fully means that I need not to just have knowledge of mystical practices, but I have to re-discover those practices as essential pieces of myself, rejected because of society’s labels and persecutions.

I had to start practicing mystical arts again. I knew that I had to get my hands on the books I had packed up twenty years ago, the same books that had simultaneously validated my life experiences while also teaching and inspiriting me - before I chickened out and abandoned them. As we are all expressions - extensions - of Source, every book I was drawn to was an extension communicating a particular experience of life, reality, and connection to the ALL and Source itself. I located my box of books in storage, and as I opened the box and saw the titles and covers, pieces of me began to quicken.

I was amazed by the range of topics: world religions, mythology, philosophy, wicca, pagan witchcraft, shamanism, symbology, ancient mysteries, art, architecture, sacred geometry, energy work. I smiled at the realization that I am an equal-opportunity spiritualist.

I believe in GOD - SPIRIT, in all its forms and names. My primary mission in life is to move toward Spirit and to have Spirit work through me. Anything that will aid me in my mission is welcome. All of the traditions I have studied offer different roads, tools, perspectives, and stories that have been my guides and spiritual medicine. From organized world religions, to world mythologies, to wide-ranging pagan systems, to physics, I am a willing and open student. I am grateful for all of my learning and for every people and tradition that has been a positive influence.

Notice there is no mention of Satanism or black magic. I work in systems of light. Only the Highest Christed Light is welcome to work through me. I am all things sacred and esoteric. I am a true mystic.

Originally written in the Fall of 2021.